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Summary: None given.
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Snow covered the ground, hiding almost all of the golden leaves the mellyrn had lost this winter, an unusual occurrence in the Golden Wood of Lothlórien.
It was the first winter after the victory over the dark Lord, and with the destruction of the One Ring, Nenya, the ring of water, had lost its power. The result was frightening in a way though exhilarating as well, for now they were free to live without the fear of being utterly crushed by the shadow, a thought that many of them still struggled to understand.
But the freedom came at high costs. The Golden Wood would now be exposed to the world around it, the countless years of time rushing back at the trees and weighing them down. And there was no shelter from the weather either.
So it happened that many of the golden leaves fell before their time, winds and snow urging them to the ground and covering them with a white blanket.
Not that there was no beauty to behold in this scenery – the snow was glittering like precious gemstones, shimmering in all rainbow-colors when a sunbeam caressed it, and here and there was a golden leaf to be found on its surface. The bark of the trees was more silver than grey and combined with the crystal covered branches gave one the impression that the Golden Wood had turned into a silver one.
‘How appropriate,’ Haldir thought, as he walked through his beloved wood, laughter surrounding him, as every elf of Lothlórien was making preparations for the Yule-feast.
‘It is somehow a mirror of our situation here – the gold of youth and strength leaving and making place for the silver of age and fading – as do the elves. But the silver has its beauty, too, and it is shining strongly.’
He doubted that many elves would stay in the new age. Their Lady was leaving and what happened to their wood was not encouraging them to stay, yet his Lord would do so.
Maybe not here in Lothlórien, but in the southern part of the former Mirkwood, now named East-Lórien, the gift King Thranduil had left Celeborn the Wise after their hard won battle against Dol Guldur.
He could barely imagine how it would change his own life.
Oh yes, he would stay. He didn’t feel the pull to Valinor and wasn’t ready to leave these lands, besides he was very loyal to Celeborn, his Lord. And his brothers would stay for a time as well, with their families.
He didn’t dare to admit, even to himself, that it might be more than loyalty what he felt for his ruler. It was useless to dream about something that could never be. Celeborn loved Galadriel, that was undeniable, and he didn’t wish to interfere in their happiness. But could his Lord still be happy, when she would be sailing and they would be separated for how long a time only the Valar knew?
He reached a lake, frozen in this cold weather, with a smooth white surface, some elves gliding over it on metal skids tied to their boots. These makeshift skates were distributed by an elf on the bank, who had managed to produce them out of the reminders of the war, using broken blades and other things to create something of joy, of beauty.
Haldir stood, thoughtfullywatching the merry crowd as they glided and spun on the ice trying to catch each other or a falling leaf. In the past they had rarely been able to indulge in such play.
Straightening his shoulderswith determination, he walked over to the skate stand.
“Marchwarden Haldir, do you want to try the other kind of use a blade can have?”
The eyes of the stand owner were twinkling merrily.
Grinning, he nodded.
“We will see how useful they are when I land on my bottom!”
They were still laughing, when he tied them to his boots, then he stalked carefully over the bank to set his feet on the ice. After a few tentative steps he grew more confident, the natural elven balance helping him to get a feeling for this activity.
Soon he was lost in the flowing movements, trying a turn here and there and feeling at peace with himself.
He was so absorbed that he didn’t notice the figure that was standing in the shadow of a tree, didn’t feel the eyes on him as they followed his every move.
Celeborn watched as the Marchwarden turned and glided backwards, the soft elven cloak flapping around, leaving his taut backside and the long elegant legs open to his roaming gaze. He appreciated the masculine yet graceful beauty his most trusted warrior radiated and considered how to make his move.
He knew Haldir was interested in him, though the Marchwarden had never uttered a word and always carefully schooled his features, but a glance here and there had given him away.
He just wondered whether the interest would go as far as he wished it to be.
Smiling, he went over to the skate stand to get a pair for himself.
When Haldir turned back in thedirection of the bank, he suddenly found his way blocked by an elegant tall body clothed in a velvet grey tunic with silver embroidery on the edges.
Surprised he looked up and met the sparkling silver-green eyes of his Lord.
Before he had a chance to react, he found himself grabbed by the hand and pulled over the ice, trailing the lines Celeborn made, at a breathtaking speed, while the silver mane of his Lord streamed behind him.
Looking around, Haldir noticed that the last elves were deserting the lake as twilight started to fall.
“My Lord and Marchwarden, just put your skates on the desk, when you go!” called the stand owner to them, before he turned to leave in the company of some friends.
Celeborn had just waved his hand, then he turned to Haldir, still pulling him, while he was gliding backwards.
“I take it you are enjoying the snow and what comes with it?” he asked, raising one silver eyebrow in question.
“Yes, my Lord.”
Haldir didn’t know what to make of his Lord’s behaviour, eying him a bit suspiciously.
“Then we are going to have more of that.”
And with that answer, the Lord of the Golden Wood purposefully drove them against the bank, dumping their bodies on the soft mounds of snow and started to push some of the cold white mass down Haldir’s back, until the Marchwarden recovered and pushed back. Struggling, each tried to gain the upper hand, and they wrestled in the snow, which soon covered their clothing and hair.
With a twist Haldir finally managed to be on top, breathing heavily and causing white puffs of air to appear, and looked down on the beautiful face of which he had dreamed so often.
“What am I to do with you now, my Lord?” he asked in funny desperation.
“Oh, I’ve some ideas about that,” drawled Celeborn lazily, as he relaxed his limbs.
He had his Marchwarden exactly where he wanted him to be, and was going to take advantage of the situation.
Spreading his legs, he let the body that hovered above him glide between them easily and then hooked an arm around Haldir’s neck to pull him down.
Haldir suddenly found his lower parts in intimate contact with those of the silver Lord, whose face was only a short distance away from his own, and his breath hitched in his throat.
He was convinced he must be dreaming this, but all his doubt suddenly vanished like thin air, when soft lips touched first his reddened cheeks, then his mouth. Opening up to the sweetness of an investigating tongue he melted into the embrace, moaning when Celeborn groundhis loins against his own. A spark of desire caused a warm feeling to spread through the nether regions of his body, and he bucked helplessly, all reasonable thoughts leaving his mind. A hand cupped his firm globes of flesh and massaged them through the leggings.
He didn’t feel the cold, wet snow anymore, he only felt hot a burning need building up inside of him, and he buried his hands in the silver mane.
When they finally had to part for air, Celeborn smiled enticingly at the flushed faced Marchwarden.
“I thought so. You desire me, don’t you, Haldir?”
Embarrassed at his lack of control, Haldir nodded.
“I’m sorry, my Lord. I know I shouldn’t …” He was cut short when Celeborn shook his head and cupped one of his cheeks in his palm.
“I desire you as well, Haldir. There is nothing to worry about.”
“But Lady Galadriel, what about her? I don’t want to come between you and your wife, my Lord, and …” again he was interrupted.
“She knows, and she consents to this. Come with me and let us get more comfortable, then I’ll explain this to you.”
Nodding his agreement, Haldir got up and held a hand out to help the Lord to his feet.
They wiped off the snow and smoothed their clothing and hair, before putting the skates back on the stand desk.
Together they wandered back through the darkening woods with the stars and Ithil shining overhead, leaving intricate shadow–patterns of branches and twigs on the white surface.
They walked in companionable silence, until they reached Celeborn’s private talan located close to Caras Galadhon, which he inhabited alone.
A silver lantern was burning above the entrance, adding one more light to the many others that were glowing in blue, silver and gold.
After ushering Haldir inside and taking of their cloaks to hang them on the wall beside the entrance, the Lord lit several candles to illuminate the cozy room with their soft light.
Then he went to the brazier in the middle of the room and put a pot of spiced wine on the still glowing coals.
In the meantime Haldir had been looking around curiously, this visit being the first time he had been invited to Celeborn’s private talan.
Soft rugs covered the floor, and curtains and hangings on the walls and windows sheltered the roomfrom the cold, their colors in different shades of green, silver and gold. Cushions of the same coloring lay on the couch and the two comfortable chairs, surrounding the brazier which stood elevated on some stones to avoid sparks falling onto the wooden floor. Some wooden shelves for books and one for dishes sat against the walls, and in a corner stood a small desk with a wash basin and a carafe for water. It was obvious that this home was more for leisure visits, practical, yet not overly plush and pompous. A doorway opened to one side, and Haldir guessed that it led to the bedroom.
Gesturing him to sit down, Celeborn took aplace on the couch beside him and put two mugs on a small side desk next to him.
“It will take the wine some time to heat, so make yourself comfortable.”
Smiling, the Lord looked at him, then reached out to push an errant strand of blond hair behind Haldir’s ear; the Marchwarden slightly shivering at his touch.
“As you know, Haldir, I married my Lady several millennia ago. We loved each other very much and still do in a way, I won’t deny that. She will always have a place in my heart. But with time, our love became more one of a deep friendship, the songs of our hearts slowly drifting more apart, as our desires and wishes started to differ more and more.
She is an elf born of Aman and will stay so, despite all the years she lived here, as I am an elf born of Ennor and my heart is bound to these lands. Soon she will have to sail as the longing for her home grows in her, and she will go gladly, though what she has to leave behind will sadden her.
Yet I will stay and will not sail for probably a long time to come, no matter that the time of the elves is over and we are a fading people. Fading, yes, but still strong enough to care for these lands, I believe.
We have searched our hearts and came to an agreement that, when the time for her to sail would come, we would set each other free, releasing the other of the bond that binds our souls together, as it would be cruel to keep it up, when we both can see that we will go separate paths in the future and could both find happiness again with another one at our sides – she in Valinor and I here.”
Leaning toward the pot, Celeborn dipped a ladle into the hot wine and filled a mug with it.
Haldir felt a bit dazed. Could it be that all his dreams were about to come true?
Accepting the mug into his hands, he carefully blew on the surface and observed the silver Lord filling the second mug.
He slowly sipped the spiced liquid and felt warmth spread through his body, relaxing him further.
The golden candlelight glinted on the silver strands of his hair, as Celeborn reclined against the back of the couch, holding the mug in his long elegant fingers.
“I don’t know when exactly my interest for you started. It began very subtly, but once I had noticed it, I started to observe you to see if anything indicated that you could return my feelings for you. At the beginning I didn’t think so, you were very good at masking your emotions, but then I caught a glance here and there and knew I was right. The only question now is how far do your feelings for me go?”
Regarding his loyal warrior thoughtfully, he saw that Haldir deliberately let go of his mask and let his burning desire show on his face, the dark blue eyes smouldering with long suppressed passion and love.
Laughing, he held up a hand.
“Alright, I see. But still I think you might not know me well enough as a private person yet. Whereas I’ve seen you growing up, knowing you from your birth on, you only know me as Lord of Lothlórien, though you may have heard a thing here and there about my past and personality.
I’ve lived long, Haldir, and have seen much – are you sure you can cope with such an old tree as I am?”
“I cannot know until I try, but I’m determined to take this chance – it would be stupid of me to throw away what you offer me.”
Haldir met Celeborn’s eyes openly and held his gaze.
“We will see.”
Celeborn had to smile at the eagerness, which showed on the Marchwarden’s face.
“Tomorrow will be the longest night of the year. I would that you spent the day with me in the general preparations for the feast, which I will attend to with my Lady. But afterwards the night will belong to us, and I want to show you something, something that might help you understand better who I am. Are you agreeable to this?”
Haldir nodded, feeling exited about the prospect to spent Yule privately with his Lord, the owner of his heart.
He nearly choked on his wine though, when Celeborn mentioned casually like in an after-thought:
“And tonight we could spend exploring our bodies, that we might know each other on the physical level as well.”
Patting the back of the coughing Marchwarden, he smirked. He knew very well from the encounter at the lake that Haldir wouldn’t mind to get intimate with him.
After exchanging the wine-pot for another one containing water to warm it for washing later, he motioned Haldir to follow him through the doorway leading to the bedroom.
He lit the candles in a decorative candelabrum on the nightstand, then gestured to the bed.
“Please, make yourself comfortable, while I put out the candles in the main room. It will be a nice change to get out of our wet garments. You can put them on the wall next to the wardrobe over there.”
With that remark he went back, while Haldir started to pull off his clothes and to look around, taking in his environment. The bed looked very comfortable with its soft linen sheets and plush grey, green and white duvet. The headboard was beautiful carved, the ornaments showing leaves and flowers which reminded him of those which grew on the mellyrn, but were slightly different. He didn’t believe he had seen them before. The same pattern showed on the doors of the small wooden wardrobe with a stylized tree carved in the center.
Finally naked, he put the clothes away and walked over to the bed, the air being warmed enough from the brazier in the main room that he didn’t feel cold.
When Celeborn returned, his eyes fell immediately on the glorious figure reclining on the bed, the planes and curves of the muscular warrior-body shimmering golden in the candle-light.
After a moment of thorough examination he sat down on the bed beside Haldir and let a finger trail over a silvery scar on the Marchwarden’s leg, where an orc-scimitar had grazed the skin in the last battle. It had been poisoned, otherwise the wound would have already healed completely, but even so it would vanish soon enough with the elven healing ability for help.
He felt Haldir shiver slightly under his touch and kept moving upward, while his gaze remained locked with the Marchwarden’s all the time.
“I remember Narvi once saying to Celebrimbor, when he visited with us: ‘Other men
said they have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough.’ Somehow it feels the right thing to say seeing you now in all your glory.”
Haldir grinned cheekily.
“But in opposite to those angels I’m much more solid and easier to touch.”
“That you are!”
And with these words Celeborn grabbed his Marchwarden and claimed his lips, while he felt fingers threading through his locks.
Pulling his Lord down with him on the bed, Haldir gave as good as he got and noticed his heartbeat speeding up, the feeling of hot desire intensifying with the breathtaking kiss.
“You are overdressed, my Lord,” he gasped, when they finally parted for air. “Am I not allowed my share of appreciating glances?”
“Haldir, cease calling me ‘Lord’, while being in private,” Celeborn growled, smirking. “And nobody is hindering you to take action to get what you want.”
He hardly had finished speaking, when he felt his tunic and the linen shirt ripped from his body by two strong hands and felt his back pressed into the mattress, while the front was explored and caressed by those rough fingers. Golden hair fell around his head like a shielding curtain, and he arched up, when open palms glided over his pectorals, the fingers finding the hardening nipples with ease, first grazing them lightly, then rubbing and twisting them.
Hearing the silver Lord gasping, Haldir let his mouth continue where his fingers left, using tongue and teeth on the sensitive flesh, before sucking a nub in his mouth, while his fingers were busy undoing the laces of Celeborn’s leggings. He felt the bulge under the restricting cloth and rubbed it, eliciting a moan from the older elf, then managed to free the straining erection from its confines.
Slowly he pulled the leggings off, while his mouth trailed down the body, kissing and licking the smooth white skin. He dipped his tongue into the whole of the navel, then continued downward over the area, where hip and leg where joined and the inner side of one leg, only to go up again on the inner side of the other after discarding the leggings.
Celeborn’s breath was getting more audible, his chest heaving, and a moan of protest escaped him, when Haldir stopped his ministrations and sat up to take in the magnificent look of his Lord’s flushed and very aroused body.
“My Lo-, ahem, Celeborn, have you ever …?”
“Aye, warrior’s comfort is not foreign to me, though it has been quite some time now. But who said I would be on the receiving end?”
With that, Haldir suddenly found himself on his back, the weight of the body above pressing his own into the mattress, and he gasped, when skin met skin, only to have his mouth claimed again in another stunning kiss. When they had to part for air, Celeborn found himself looking into smouldering blue eyes darkened by desire.
“When was the last time you did it?” he wanted to know.
“Sometime between the last two battles, but I wasn’t on the receiving end either.”
Celeborn leaned down to lick at the tip of an ear, then whispered into it:
“Would you mind to be now?”
“Nn…No…o,” Haldir shuddered, when the tip was taken into a hot wet mouth and sucked upon.
He felt very light caresses on his hard member, causing it to twitch, and bucked helplessly upward in search of more contact. Moaning in frustration, when he didn’t get more, he grabbed the firm mounds of Celeborn’s back side and tried to pull him down.
“You are beautiful when you let your desire take over, Haldir,” his Lord’s husky voice whispered into his ear.
The strokes were getting more firm now, and the Marchwarden started to writhe and gasp, now and then uttering meaningless syllables mixed with a “yes”, “more” and “please”.
Celeborn watched him becoming completely undone, the head turning left and right leaving the golden strands of his hair spread over the pillow, the rosy lips parted and the chest heaving, while the hips were pushing upward, thrusting the hard and by now slightly wet shaft in his waiting hand with increasing speed.
Removing his hand caused a groan of protest from Haldir, but he wanted something more than this and uncapped the vial of oil that had waited on the nightstand, releasing the intoxicating aroma of mallorn-blossoms and sandalwood into the air.
Soon Haldir felt the oiled fingers rubbing circles around his entrance, before one of them breached it. He tensed for a moment – it had been quite some time for him as well to be on the receiving end, but he was quickly distracted, when he felt a wet tongue gliding up and down and around his weeping shaft. And when the hot, moist cavern of Celeborn’s mouth enclosed it, he didn’t notice the second and the third finger being inserted or the stretching, until the bundle of nerves inside was touched, causing him to arch his back and cry out.
Feeling Haldir was close to release, Celeborn clamped down at the base of his member, eliciting a grunt from the Marchwarden, and saw the dark blue eyes fly open. He wanted this to last a bit longer, though he knew he wouldn’t last long either. It had been too long, and he was eager and full of anticipation, very aroused and knew the tight heat awaiting him would put him to a hard test, if he didn’t want to spill immediately.
Pushing his hands under Haldir’s taut buttocks, he lifted him slightly, gesturing to a pillow with his head. Haldir understood and put it under his hips.
Aligning his shaft to the puckering entrance, Celeborn locked his gaze with Haldir’s and upon receiving a nod started to push inside, groaning at the heat and tightness and needing every bit of self-control not to roughly thrust inside, but he had underestimated his Marchwarden’s eagerness.
Locking his long slender legs around his silver Lord, Haldir used his strength to pull Celeborn closer and with an upward buck had him sheathed completely inside.
Breathing heavily and trying to control himself, Celeborn let his head rest in the crook of Haldir’s neck.
Haldir stroked the silver tresses of his Lord, running his fingers through the silken mass, while he tried to adjust.
It didn’t take him long, as Celeborn had prepared him well, and he put his hands on his Lord’s backside, squeezing the firm buttocks to get his attention, and nodded, when Celeborn made eye contact with him.
They started slowly, but soon they rocked with abandon, all the pent up desire needing an outlet, and the bed creaked under their forceful lovemaking.
Limbs tangled, their breath coming in harsh panting mixed with moans and whimpers, they used hands and lips to heighten the sensation even more. Feeling himself coming close to the edge, Celeborn took Haldir’s member in his hand, stroking it in time with his thrusts and leaned down to suck on a hardened nipple.
The sensual overload was too much for Haldir, and with a cry he came, his back arching and his essence spurting in creamy rivulets over his abdomen and heaving chest, while his clenching muscles pulled Celeborn over the edge with him. With a long groan the Lord of the Golden Wood came inside his lover and collapsed on the body beneath him, feeling himself encircled in strong arms. It was a divine sensation.
As much as he wanted to stay awake, Haldir couldn’t. Sated, he let himself glide on the elven dream path.
As Celeborn noticed that the breath of his lover had evened out, he carefully detangled his limbs from Haldir’s and went to the main room to fetch a bowl of hot water and a wash cloth. Tending to his lover’s body first, careful not to wake him, he then proceeded to clean himself and finally sneaked back into bed, drawing the cover over both of them and pushing closer to Haldir’s form with one arm draped over the Marchwarden’s chest.
Soon he followed Haldir into reverie.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After waking the next morning to soft snow fall, they had stayed in bed a while longer, lavishing loving and tender ministrations upon each other, before they managed to get up.
The day had passed quickly with all the preparations for the feast in the evening.
Evergreens were sparsein the golden wood, but golden leavesand nuts as well as red berries served their purpose well, interspersed with the few green boughs and some silver leaves, which Celeborn provided.
Haldir regarded them curiously, having never seen them before, but their shape reminded him of the carvings he had seen in Celeborn’s bedroom.
Carving and smoothing mallorn-wood to craft light, mallorn-leaf-shaped, little boats was an activity he was occupied with for most of the day together with a few companions, while the others were decorating or making candies and cookies and other treats of mallorn-blossom-syrup.
It seemed they made more of the wood’s bounty than ever before, trying to gather and enjoy as much as possible, as long as the Golden Wood lasted.
Additional lanterns were hung in the tree-branches and on ropes around the clearing where the feast would be held. The whole wood echoed with beautiful voices raised in song and laughter, while animals were coming close to listen or snatch a treat here or there.
Finally evening drew near, and everyone gathered in their finery in the clearing, and a silence descended on the wood.
A large white candle was burning at the center, many smaller and flat ones in colors of gold, white and green lay unlit at its base. Galadriel and the ellith of Lothlórien raised their voices in praise of the stars and Elbereth, while one after another stepped up to light a candle on the large one, then walked over to desk, where the wooden mallorn-leaf-boats sat, putting the candle on one, and took it up, carefully shielding the flame.
They formed a line and singing, with the lights in their hands, went down to the Anduin, setting the little boats on the water, and watched them slowly swimming out of sight, their lights twinkling, resembling little golden stars.
There were rumours that men didn’t dare to come close to the river on this night out of fear what those lights could do to them, others said that they came to the Anduin in hope of catching a glance of them.
Haldir didn’t know if they were true, but let his candle float and, following an old tradition, sent his most important wish with it. The tradition said that if the candle made it unharmed and still lit to the sea, the Valar would grant that wish.
Normally the falls of Rauros wouldn’t let that happen, but the small boats and the candles contained some magic, like most things made by elven hands, so there was still a chance for success.
Feeling someone standing close by, Haldir turned his head and saw Celeborn smiling at him.
“Did you make your wish?”
Haldir nodded. It wasn’t allowed to speak about what was wished, and Celeborn didn’t ask.
They watched the last candle floating beyond a bent of the river, then turned and walked back to the clearing, where the feast awaited them.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Songs praising Illuvatar and the Valar, blessings and exchanging of gifts were part of the feast, as well as dancing and merry-making, eating and drinking.
The gifts would be opened the next morning, and could be given as late as that, but many used the opportunity of the gathering.
Haldir knew that he and Celeborn would exchange them later. There was no need to do it now, when they would spend the night together.
But he was surprised, when Galadriel motioned him aside, telling him to come to her garden of the mirror the next morning for a gift.
He bowed respectfully and received a smile from her, not that one she sometimes used to entice the opposite, but one full of tenderness, trust and friendship, and he answered the same, glad she was so generous to accept his love for Celeborn.
Close to midnight the gathering dissolved into smaller groups and families.
Rumil and Orophin had looked at him curiously during the day, until he had finally told them what had happened.
They had been the only ones who had known about his secret desire, though they had never talked about it – they knew Haldir too well to confront him with something he considered private.
But now they rejoiced for him and, leaving the clearing with their families, gave him a wink, feeling better about him now than they had for many years. It was the best Yule most elves of the Golden Wood had seen in a long time, but it would be especially so for the three brothers.
Celeborn approached him, and with a bow to Galadriel they left the clearing, the singing and laughter slowly fading into the background, while the distance to Caras Galadhon grew.
They walked in silence. Celeborn’s aura intensified with an air of something very ancient and powerful, a secret, a promise, something Haldir couldn’t really define, but it made clear to him, how much he still had to learn about his Lord.
They walked a path now that Haldir didn’t know, though he had thought that there couldn’t be an area in all Lothlórien he wasn’t familiar with. It had probably been guarded by magic, he supposed.
Finally they reached a dell, and there, at its center grew a tree, closely resembling the mellyrn, but being of a different coloring, with silver leaves and blossoms, both seemingly unaffected by the weather. It had been those leaves Celeborn had provided for the decorations and which were carved on his bed’s headboard and wardrobe, Haldir recognized.
“This is a celeborn. It is very rare today. And no, it isn’t named after me; I was named after it. It is the emblem of my house. I planted this one when I accepted Lordship over Lothlórien, as I planted one in Eregion and one in Lindon. Even Imladris has one; I’ve planted it for Celebrían, and it is still there. They were all seeds of the one, which was growing in Doriath, where I was born andgrew up under its boughs.”
With these words Celeborn led him down into the dell and to the tree.
Placing his hands reverently on the smooth silver-grey bark, the Lord silently communicated with the celeborn. Then he turned and guided Haldir’s hand on the bark.
The Marchwarden felt strength and power pulsing through the being, radiating wisdom and calm, not much different from his Lord’s aura. They were one in away he recognized, then felt a welcoming emotion directed at him and bowed his head in respect.
“The celeborn accepts you and will shelter us with its power for the night. During the ritual I’m going to perform, no-one will be able to enter this dell.
Are you ready to face my past, Haldir?”
Straightening his back, the Marchwarden looked Celeborn directly in the eye and gave a short nod of agreement.
The Lord then took up a stick and started to draw symbols in the snow, putting them in theform of an arch and next to it on the left and right two stylized trees.
Laying the stick aside, Celeborn took position infront of the drawingsand raised his open hands, looking up at the night sky.
“By the grace of Varda whose stars shine in the night,
by the grace of Manwë who lets us breathethe air,
by the grace of Yavanna who made two trees of light
and gave to us the plants for nourishment and care,
by the grace of Oromë who has been our guide,
by the grace of Námo who guards our souls and fate,
let descend before us the mists of time and might
and so to lives long past let open now the gate.”
In awe, Haldir saw mists rising from the ground and slowly gathering over the drawings during this speech, forming into two trees whose branches entwined at the highest point, thus forming an arch, and with the last word the mists cleared in the middle, giving view to a snowy plain behind the arch, where a huge white horse waited hitched up to a silver sleigh by what seemed to be rays of moonlight.
The seat of the sleigh was covered with lush white furs and comfortable silver cushions.
Taking Haldir by his hand, the silver Lord approached respectfully and bowed to the horse, which eyed them with intelligent grey eyes.
“Will you grant us my wish and let us journey through my past in your sleigh, mellon-nín?”
Snorting the horse lowered its proud head and let Celeborn stroke and pet it.
“Come Haldir, let us begin this journey!”
The silver Lord held out his hand again, and Haldir bowed deeply to the horse, before he took it.
They climbed on the sleigh, seated themselves close to each other, and Celeborn drew some furs over their knees and around their shoulders, before putting an armaround Haldir and giving a nod to the horse.
The huge animal set itself immediately in motion. There were no reigns to direct it, but that surely wasn’t necessary on this journey, thought Haldir.
With a sound like silver bells, the sleigh glided over the smooth surface of the snow which was glinting in the light of stars. There was no moon, indicating that they were traveling in a time, before the sun and the moon had graced the skies.
Haldir leaned his head on Celeborn’s shoulder, enjoying the closeness and felt the touch of soft lips on his temple.
At first there was not much to see on the plain, but then they neared a wood with huge trees, which sometimes seemed to waver in front of their eyes.
“Doriath,” breathed Celeborn.
“Here I was born and grew up under Elu Thingol’s rule and Melian’s protection. What you see is the effect the girdle had on one being outside of the realm.”
They came closer and crossed the tree-line and suddenly the vision cleared, letting them see every detail of branches and leaves. Deeper and deeper into the wood they went, until Haldir recognized another celeborn in a clearing. The horse slowed down and finally stopped, and Haldir heard a light giggle coming from the tree-crown. Squinting, he looked up at the branches, and there he could see an elfling with silver hair chasing after a squirrel, which taunted him with its bushy tail.
He probably wouldn’t have recognized him, but knowing that this was a journey into Celeborn’s past, he noticed that the silver-green eyes were quite similar to the ones next to him, only seeming much bigger in the small face.
Their vision was blurring shortly, and then a gangly youth of approximately 50 years appeared, already much of Celeborn’s features clearly showing. He was talking with some fellow elves seated under the tree, while they sipped something, which seemed to have an intoxicating effect on them – their features were lightly flushed, the speech slurredand the movements sluggish, but the young Celeborn managed to lean over to the ellon next to him and put a kiss on his mouth. When they let go of each other, they blushed even more and dissolved into laughter.
“That was probably my first kiss. Unfortunately I didn’t recall much of that experience afterwards,” smirked the Celeborn sitting on the sleigh.
“So you preferred ellyn at that age?”
“No, I was open to both genders, though maybe there was an inclination toward ellyn, as even my Lady had some characteristics, which were considered being male …”
Speaking of her, the Lady appeared beneath the tree, much younger and less weary, sparkling with energy and strong will.
It seemed they had had a disagreement, as she was turning her back on the younger Celeborn, her head held high. The young Lord of Doriath came closer and, with an arm reaching around her light frame, he put a white rose under her nose, while whispering something softly into her ear. Soon she leaned back into his embrace, and the vision blurred again and the horse started to move.
A moon had appeared in the sky, the time of the Two Trees of Valinor being over.
“That was some time before we bonded, but we left Doriath before the fall of Thingol, wandering around for some years, never really settling down again, until the War of Wrath was over. Finarfin, who had come to Ennor with the host of the Valar, wasn’t very welcoming to the fact that she was bound to a Sindar and wanted to stay, but that was not surprising, considering all his other children were dead. All in all he finally managed to accept me, but we had not much time to get to know each other …
He will be glad to finally have her back, when she sails, though he probably won’t understand our decision to go separate ways.”
They were leaving the wood behind, the sleigh gliding over the glittering white surface under the brightly shining stars, and now Haldir could see Eärendil among them – they must have passed beyond that time, when he still lived on the eastern shores.
Celeborn gently stroked his hair, and he leaned into the caress.
After some time they approached what seemed to be a city with huge though airy buildings, illuminated by elvish lanterns in addition to the star- and moonlight.
Behind it they could see the waves of the sea rolling against the shore, the waters too deep to freeze despite the cold weather.
“As we are undertaking this journey at the time of Yule, it is this season we’ll get to see of my past,” Celeborn explained.
Then they were driving through the streets up to a magnificent building and through an archway into a yard and further beyond to some quiet gardens, where another celeborn was growing.
“I gifted this one to Gil-galad, as I knew he would be the one to determine our fate in the Second Age. He was truly a great and just ruler, though he needed, now and again, a reminder of the different needs of the Sindar and Silvan population.”
“So this is Lindon?”
“Yes, it is. There is hardly anything left of it now but memories … Over there is the council room, do you see?”
Haldir could see several Lords and Ladies through an open door and recognized Celeborn and Galadriel among them. He even managed to catch a glimpse of a young Elrond. It seemed the discussion was becoming quite heated, when a dark haired elf laid a parchment on the table, pointing out several things on it.
“That is Celebrimbor. And he is probably just explaining his plans for what would become the Gwaith-i-Mírdain in Eregion. Not many were fond of his plans as you can see. But he realized them nevertheless …”
“And what did you think about it?”
“It was one of the very few occasions on which I disagreed with my Lady. Well, she always had a weak spot for Celebrimbor. We managed a compromise to settle with the Silvan elves close to the Gwaith-i-Mírdain. It was the first time we had our own court, though Celebrimbor’s was more important – at least for the Noldor. But you will see it.”
And the sleigh started to glide again, leaving the beautiful city behind to quickly approach another one, this time built against the rock-cliffs of the mountains, everything covered deeply in snow. Part of the city was built in the trees, but it was a smaller part, and soon Haldir saw the by now familiar shape of a celeborn, this time enclosed by other trees and less obvious than before.
“This is a time, before Annatar managed to gain Celebrimbor’s trust. After he came here, the snow was never as deep as this, which some of the inhabitants here welcomed, but filled me with the first foreboding that something wasn’t right, even before Gil-galad warned us about him.”
Celeborn and Galadriel were standing hand in hand under the tree, looking at the stars and raising their voices in praise to Varda. The scene then blurred, and nearly no snow was covering the ground, when the view became clear again.
The dark haired Lord, whom Haldir had come to recognize as Celebrimbor, knelt before the Lady, while the Lord stood slightly to the side, his features masked, not betraying any thought.Something glinted in the moonlight, when Celebrimbor opened his hands and held them up to Galadriel in an offering. An offering which she accepted.
“Nenya.”
Haldir hadn’t known much about the ring in the beginning. Only after the war had been won, its existence and effects had become public knowledge.
“Yes. I didn’t like what Celebrimbor had created, beautiful as it was, but I had to agree that it needed to be guarded from Sauron at any costs. It was one of the most difficult decisions I had to make in my life to agree to my Lady’s guardianship over one of the three.”
The sleigh moved again, and this time, when their next destination came into view, Haldir recognized immediately where they were. The silhouette of the Golden Wood was unmistakable.
They approached Caras Galadhon, and he saw himself, pledging his loyalty as a Marchwarden of Lothlórien to his new Lord and Lady. Then the sleigh continued and they reached the dell they had started this journey from, to see Celeborn tend to a silver sapling, where now the huge celeborn was standing.
Haldir expected the journey to be over now, but the sleigh was moving again, and they left the Golden Wood for a second time.
“The Valar are generoustonight. They grant us a glimpse into the future. Are you ready for that, Haldir?”
The Marchwarden nodded, though he was a bit nervous. But he would face whatever there was to come, if he could stay at Celeborn’s side. The Lord pulled him closer, and they shared a gentle, loving kiss.
Soon another forest came into view, and they recognized the darkened and yet newly growing trees of the southern Eryn Lasgalen, the former Mirkwood, where already much of the debris had been cleared and the trees been healed as much as possible.
Snow covered the renewed wood, and they saw themselves on a small mound, sitting together next to another silver sapling – one that still had to be planted.
“Does that mean the Valar accept us to be together?” Haldir asked breathless.
“It seems so. Are you ready to leave the Golden Wood in time and come with me to East Lórien?”
Leaving the only home he had known in all his life would certainly be painful, but Haldir felt he was ready to face this, now that he had the silver Lord at his side.
“Home for me is wherever you are, Celeborn. You are the tree I will seek shelter in, when I need it.”
And he claimed his Lord’s lips in a passionate kiss. They were prevented from going further with their passion, when the horse turned and brought them back to Lothlórien.
When they reached the dell again, the sky was already lightening, indicating that the sunrise wasn’t too far away.
They left the sleigh and after a respectful bow to the horse went through the arch, which quickly dissolved behind them into mist again, which faded away, and they were surrounded by the trees of the dell once more.
“That was incredible, Celeborn. I thank you for your trust to let me watch suchimportant parts of your past.”
Haldir put his arms around Celeborn’s neck. The silver Lord smiled and put his forehead against Haldir’s.
“Oh, I intend to share more with you, but my words and memories will have to suffice then. These images might help you to fill the gap. It was a good start.
Many people forget that I was as much a pupil of Melian as my Lady was. But come now, we have but a few hours of rest before we will exchange the gifts.”
With these words spoken, they turned and walked back to Celeborn’s talan.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Since it had been quite late when they went to sleep, they had not much time in the morning before the exchanging of gifts.
So they readied themselves for the day, and Haldir was about to leave for the mirror glade, when Celeborn gave him a small wooden box, decorated on the lid with a carved celeborn-leaf.
“I will prepare breakfast, while you are gone. Since my Lady told me she wished to give our gift to you, I want you to give mine to her.”
Opening the lid, Haldir saw a silver nut not unlike the seed of a mallorn lying in it, only the shape being more slender and the silver tinted with hues of green.
It wasn’t necessary to explain that this was a celeborn seed.
“Tell her, if she wants to have the shelter of a celeborn in Valinor, to plant it, as I will plant a mallorn, wherever I go.”
Haldir nodded and closed the lid again, then he gave Celeborn a gentle kiss on the lips and left.
Smiling, the Lord put a pot on the coals of the brazier to prepare a mallorn-blossom tea, then he left for the kitchens in search of a proper breakfast.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Haldir hadn’t known until the night before that he would exchange a gift with Galadriel, and didn’t have the time to make one now, so he went to his talan first to retrieve something he thought the Lady might like.
When he reached the glade, the Lady was already there, sitting on the root of one of the mellyrn surrounding the clearing and watching the squirrels chase each other through the branches. The animals of the Golden Wood were not used to this cold weather, but until they adapted to it the elves would provide for them.
Seeing him approach, Galadriel rose and went to greet him, kissing him lightly on each cheek and the forehead. She was wearing a white robe lined with fur, the wide hood pulled up, but her beautiful face was clearly visible.
“Good morning, Haldir, and a happy Yule to you!”
“A happy Yule to you as well, my Lady,” the Marchwarden said, bowing lightly, and then he reached into the bag he had brought with him.
“I hadn’t the time to prepare something myself, but I think you might like this as a gift.”
And he gave her a small painting of herself and Celeborn in the sunlit Golden Wood, put in a beautifully carved wooden frame.
Galadriel smiled.
“This is very beautiful. Are you sure you want to part with it?”
“Yes, I’ve two similar ones still, one of which I wanted to give Celeborn as a present, and one to keep.”
“So that each of us three has a part of them? That seems very fitting to me. Thank you very much, Haldir.”
“And this is from Celeborn,” he said, handing her the small wooden box. While she opened it and looked at the celeborn seed, he repeated the Lord’s words for her.
Smiling again, she told him to thank Celeborn, and closed the lid. Then she led him over to the mirror.
“I’ve thought sometime about what I wanted to do with the mirror. The time for looking into it is past, as the days of the elves are fading and I won’t be here anymore to put the seeing spell on it. There are two parts, which belong to it: the silver basin and the silver carafe for fetching the water. The silver basin I’m going to take with me to Valinor as a remembrance of our time here in Lothlórien, but I want you and Celeborn to have the carafe, as a memory as well as for practical use – I know the two of you will love to share a good wine,” she said, her eyes twinkling merrily.
Haldir reverently accepted the carafe in his arms, then gallantly took one of her hands and lightly kissed the back, which elicited a silvery laughter from her, much to his delight.
“You are very generous to part with this, as I know how much the mirror means to you, but the most generous gift you’ve already given to me by accepting my and Lord Celeborn’s love for each other.”
“It was not so difficult, as this was a development long in coming, not a sudden event. And I know for sure that I will find happiness in Valinor, though the parting from all I hold dear here in Ennor won’t be easy. But this is how it is meant to be, Haldir.”
He thanked her again, moved by her kindness and generosity, then left the glade and went back to Celeborn’s talan.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When he entered the main room, he found his mouth watering again, despite the luxurious meal they had indulged in at the feast last night.
Sunlight came through a window at the side and a balcony-door at the back, both only covered with nearly invisible silver-white curtains which seem to magically hold the cold at bay.
The two lush chairs had been moved to the window and a table put between them, on which a tray with breakfast waited. Celeborn stood humming by the brazier and was about to fill two mugs with mallorn-blossom tea, when Haldir held out the silver carafe to him.
“Do you want to use our present from the Lady for this?”
Celeborn’s eyes fastened on the famous vessel and slowly, reverently touched it.
“This is her gift? It was very dear to her. Giving it away would have cost her much in the past, but it seems the parting with things is getting easier for her, knowing we will cherish it and be happy and her own happiness will be awaiting her in Aman …But still it is very generous of her and very touching.”
“I told her so.”
“Let us put it to its first mundane use then, though I think wine would be more appropriate for this carafe.”
And he filled it with a sweet red wine, while Haldir filled the two mugs with the tea. After all, they wouldn’t want to start drinking so much right in the morning.
They enjoyed the breakfast, while talking about the Yule-feast and their experiences on the journey last night, the atmosphere being very happy and relaxed.
Afterwards they filled two glasses with the wine from the carafe and went onto the balcony, which had a clear view on the still impressive city of Caras Galadhon bathed in the sunlight, the snow-crystals glittering like diamonds.
“To happiness,” toasted Haldir.
“To new beginnings,” answered Celeborn.
The glasses clinked, when they touched, sounding like bells. The wine was shining like rubies in the sunlight, and they drank.
“Would you like to make a journey to East-Lórien with me tomorrow, Haldir?”
“Of course. It will take time to prepare the wood for another elven colony, probably years even, so I think the earlier we start, the better.”
“True. Though I thought about planting a certain tree there. But we would need to look for a suitable place for settling in any case.”
Curling his arm around Celeborn’s waist, Haldir put a kiss on the neck, before capturing his Lord’s lips in a loving kiss.
“Whatever you wish, Celeborn-nín. And what are your plans for today?”
“I’m planning to have my personal Marchwarden all for myself and in every way possible! And he may have me just the same!”
Haldir looked in those silver-green eyes, which sparkled with promise of things to come, and a feeling of complete happiness spread through his fëa and hroa. This was by far the best Yule he ever had, and he looked forward to his future at the side of his strong Silver Tree.