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Have You Ever?
Author: Riina
Beta: Koulagirl
Email: [email protected]
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Legolas/Elladan
Warnings: none
Request: Legolas/Elladan, fluff, no evil Thranduil, equality of relationship, friendship, NC-17. Unfortunately I lost my assignment, and Santa was too busy to resend it, so I�m wishing I remember correctly.
Written For: Jay of Lasgalen
*~*
Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night with your heart pounding in your chest? You feel out of breath, as if you had been running for your life, a nazg�l after you? Then you realize it was a dream, only a dream, and though you cannot remember what or who it was about, you are certain it was something you should remember. Something so important that it would change your life forever?
I have.
Legolas closed the notebook. He was quick to tell anyone who asked him about it that it was not a diary, just a book to which he jotted down things that needed more thinking. And that momentous night definitely did. He had thought of it many times since it happened, marvelling how quickly life could turn around in the right circumstances.
It had been a wintry Thursday in December; heavy snow had been falling since the morning. By the time Legolas, and others not on guard duty, had finished clearing the paths and shovelling the central square, it was dark. After the snow fight someone started they were all exhausted. All it took was a bowl of hot vegetable stew, and everyone was ready to retire to their respective chambers. Legolas thought that he had fallen asleep before his head hit the pillow.
A few hours later he woke up with a start, covered in a light sheen of sweat. He was gasping for breath; the remains of a dream making him feel out of place, disoriented. A chaos of hazy images and meaningless words rushed through his mind, and he tried to hold on to them the best that he could. For dreams fade when reality takes hold, and with them perhaps the revelation he could still feel somewhere just out of his reach.
But it was useless. The dream was gone, and with it the possibility of going back to sleep straight away. Legolas pushed back the covers, and put his feet on the cold stone floor. If only he could remember where he put the slippers last night. He laughed to himself. That was what it all came down to: remembering. Or in his case not remembering. He found the elusive slippers finally from under the bed - where else? - and padded over to his closet to grab a robe. It was too cold outside to wear only the light, linen trousers he always wore to bed.
It was still snowing when Legolas stepped through the balcony door. The temperature had gone down and the snow was neither wet nor heavy anymore, as it had been earlier during the day. Instead it floated down feather-light. Legolas caught a few flakes on his tongue. How disappointed he had been as an elfling when he had tasted his first flake. They looked so beautiful, so soft, so sweet, and in reality they had no taste at all, just the brief feeling of melting in your mouth and then gone.
Just like dreams, -but Legolas refused to go back and try to remember what it had been. He rationalised that if the dream was as important as it had seemed, it would come back. He would see it again. He looked around the silent forest in front of him. A thick blanket of snow covered everything and not a sound could be heard. It was as if Legolas was the only living thing in Mirkwood.
And that thought brought to mind something that had happened in the forest surrounding Imladris. Legolas had accompanied the twins on one of their orc hunting trips and they had returned late one summer evening. The sun had just gone down when they encountered moths. The clearing they entered had been so full of them that their wings had muffled any sound until Elladan�
The mere thought of Elladan did it. The dream came rushing back, and the force of it made Legolas drop to his knees. He knelt there, in the midst of snow, concentrating on breathing. The dream had been about Elladan, and in that moment Legolas realized that the emptiness he had felt since returning from Imladris had been caused by his missing the older twin. He tasted the beloved name on his lips. Elladan. With his eyes the colour of stormy seas, hair as black as midnight, and lips like tea roses at dawn�
�Son, are you alright?�
�Ada,� Startled, Legolas turned his head to see the doorway. �I did not hear you enter. Should you not be in bed at this late hour?�
�I should, but you know how I love the first snow and the peace it brings to our realm. I cannot get enough of the shimmering quality it brings to everything around us. I got up to enjoy it for a moment longer and saw you standing on the balcony, then you suddenly disappeared. I was worried, but did not want wake up anyone with my shouting. Instead, I came to check you myself.� All of a sudden Thranduil seemed to become aware that his son was not on his feet. �Why are you kneeling there?�
�I just realized that I am in love. And I have no idea if it is returned or not.�
�And that thought sent you to your knees?�
�You could say that. The feeling, when it hit me, was overwhelming. It is just� it has been somewhere in here.� Legolas touched the place where his heart was frantically beating inside his chest. �I have been a fool not to realize it before.�
�Sometimes the mind needs time to understand what the heart wants. You should not blame yourself for it. Who is the lucky elf who has your affection?� Thranduil leaned against the doorframe.
�It�s Elladan, son of Elrond. Do not ask me how it happened, for I do not know. I only know that it did and it took a dream to show me.�
�Your mother believes that dreams are messages from L�rien. If she is right, then you have nothing to worry about. She always thought that you had inherited something of her seer abilities and perhaps you have. The dream may be a testament to that.�
�It also could be meaningless. Just a figment of my ever hopeful imagination.�
�I doubt that, for who could resist your charms?�
The memories of the night of his dream made Legolas smile. His father always had a wise word for him, no matter what he was going through. Perhaps words were what he should use too. He should tell Elladan how he felt.
*~*
Time moved on, and the day of Winter Solstice had arrived. Legolas had written, and destroyed, countless letters to Elladan. He stood now before the fireplace, contemplating the latest version. He started reading it, sighed, and then threw it in the flames without finishing. Nothing would travel between the realms during the winter months, so he had plenty of time to put in words how he felt. If only he could do so without making himself sound like a lovesick idiot.
Just as well, Legolas thought, tomorrow was another day, and it was time to prepare for the evening�s festivities. It was the dead of winter and no evil ever tried to make it to Mirkwood during this time of the year. Winter Solstice was a celebration of the year that had passed, and also of the time of peace they had in front of them for a month or two. Almost everyone would take part in the celebration. Even the guards would have only short watches, so that no one would have to spend the whole night alone in the cold on the Solstice.
The evening progressed as it always did. First they enjoyed a lavish dinner in the hall, then the bards begun to play. After a few cups of mead too many, the usual fight about whose turnip had been the biggest this year ensued. By the time someone was reciting the amount of rainfall they had during the previous summer, Legolas had had enough and left the hall to get fresh air. Some things never changed.
This year, however, Legolas felt different. He did not know if it was the realization of love, or that he missed Elladan. He wondered how life would be a year from now. Would he have Elladan�s love, or were his feelings doomed to go unrequited? He looked at the moon, hoping in vain to find answers.
�Have you ever noticed how everything looks magical in the pale moonlight? You are no exception, my prince. The glow of the Ithil caresses you like a lover�s touch, and you look as though you had stepped out of a fairytale.�
Before Legolas could turn, the person speaking wrapped their arms around him.
�The stories of your splendour travel around, call out like a siren�s song to the ones who appreciate beauty. Those who find their way to Mirkwood will go back to their homes and ordinary lives, happy in the knowledge that they have seen the most beautiful creature the Valar ever fashioned.�
Legolas did not feel even a smidgen of unease, though the elf behind him held him tightly to their chest, and the voice was not entirely unfamiliar. �Elladan?�
�It is said that somewhere deep in the forests of Mirkwood lies an altar dedicated to the veneration of the ruler�s youngest son.
�You must be Elladan. No one else would invent such outrageous stories about me.�
�Yes, my prince, I too answered the call and came to worship you.�
�Oh stop,� Legolas laughed and squirmed enough so that Elladan had to let go of him.
Legolas turned to face the twin. They stood there silent for a moment, just looking at each other, measuring the moment. Legolas spoke first. �I missed you. Not as a friend, Elladan. I� I love you.� Legolas laughed, �I am not very eloquent, am I? I have been practising this moment in my head ever since I realized how I felt, and I have written a letter after a letter, and this is what comes out of it? Well, there it is, out in the open. Out of the bag, like my father would say. And I, I have no idea how you feel. But I feared I would not have any contact with you before spring and now that you are here, I just had to say it, and I do understand if you do not feel the same. If that is the case I promise I shall never again bring this up between us and...�
Legolas quieted when Elladan kissed him. The moment their lips touched, only Elladan, himself and the kiss existed, while everything around them vanished. Gone were the doubts and the faltering.
�Did that answer your question about my feelings?�
�It did. I think. But I have one more: why are you here? And I do not mean it like it would be a bad thing, because there is nothing I would want more than to have you here with me. But what are you doing in Mirkwood, in the coldest part of the winter?�
�Now, that is an interesting story. After you left, we stayed in Imladris for a month, and then the need to be on the road grew too much, and we took one more expedition of hunting orcs. Father saw us off, like he always does, knowing that we would most likely not make it back before winter. He said something that did not seem out of the ordinary then, but now I wonder. He told me that I would find a cave warm and soft enough to settle down in. At the time I thought he meant my skills in finding places to stay the night, but perhaps he knew better. Perhaps he meant this.� Elladan motioned around him. �Perhaps he already knew I loved you and you me.�
�Perhaps. He was then far wiser than either of us.�
�That, I presume, he will always be. But that does not explain my being here now. It is not like father pointed us in the direction of Mirkwood. We rode off, and took to our task. Every few days with orcs in that area either slain or in hiding, we needed to decide where to head next. We did this for a couple of months, and then one evening when we were sitting around the fire, Elrohir asked if I had noticed anything strange on our journey. I had not and asked him to elaborate. He told me that it seemed to him that all roads lead to Mirkwood. At least as long as I was the one choosing them. I, of course, denied everything at first, but then Elrohir told me to stop being thick-headed and admit that I had a crush on you, since everyone else apparently was aware of it already. Because winter was just around the corner he suggested we should hurry if we were to arrive here before summer. And here we are.�
*~*
They stumbled through the doorway into Legolas� rooms, slightly drunk on each other and spiced wine. Legolas pushed the door closed with his foot, and manoeuvred Elladan to lean against it. �Stay there. I want to look at you. I want to enjoy your beauty. I want to imagine you naked.�
�As you wish, but I have a better idea. What if I actually undressed, and then you would not have to imagine anything?�
�Ah, a brilliant idea. I can see your teachers have taught you well.� They both laughed, thinking of Erestor, Elrond�s always correct chief advisor, giving the lesson in bedroom etiquette. �However, I would love to do the undressing. So, please, stay.�
Legolas started slowly by opening the buttons in Elladan�s tunic. He let his fingers run over the skin as it was exposed to him and placed a single kiss over the heart. �The mere thought that your heart belongs to me�� Legolas looked into his lover�s eyes. �Oh, Elladan. I love you.�
�I love you, too.� Elladan drew Legolas closer. Their lips touched, merging into a kiss. Legolas took charge, slipping his tongue into Elladan�s willing mouth. They tasted each other, the kiss deep and hungry, as if it was their first time.
Breaking the kiss, Legolas kneeled in front of his lover and used his mouth to tug at the string on Elladan�s leggings, only to stop a short moment later. �This is amusing. I have seen you naked many times, and now I feel as if I am slowly opening a gift I know nothing of except that it will be something exquisite.�
�Whatever you are wishing to uncover, my prince, you are being too careful and slow about it.�
Legolas looked up. �I can go more slowly, if that is what you want.� To make his point he nuzzled Elladan�s groin. �What will it be, heir of Elrond? Can I do this as I wish or will you continue to give me instructions?�
�It was merely a suggestion. I did not mean to distract you from � the thing that you are doing. Please continue.�
Legolas did as he was asked. The heady scent of his lover was more intoxicating that any wine they had downed that night. His lover. He had hard time believing that after tonight Elladan and he would be lovers. Deep down in his heart he knew everything was exactly the way it was meant to be, and still it felt just so�astonishing.
�How can it be that all the years we have been friends neither one of us did not realize we could also have this? That we could have so much more?�
�Friendship is a precious thing, Legolas. I would have been happy to stay just your friend. Sometimes love changes us, and makes everything more complicated. Promise me we will stay friends forever.�
�I promise, but only if you will move that luscious body of yours to my bed. I think this slowly and sweetly approach of mine is growing old fast.� Legolas took Elladan�s hand, leading him to the bedroom. He pushed Elladan on the bed, and quickly removed the rest of their clothing.
�It is time to make you mine, love. Are you ready?�
Elladan opened his mouth, but no sound came, so he just nodded. Legolas smiled and began at his lover�s right big toe, kissing his way up the leg. He took his time, oblivious to Elladan�s pleas to move faster, to put his mouth where it was wanted, to stop teasing. He caressed the warm skin beneath his hands, marvelled at its softness and then returned in a same manner down the left leg. By the time he was sucking the other big toe in his mouth, Elladan was trashing on the bed.
Legolas showed no mercy. �I dreamt of you. Of your milky skin.� He moved from the end of the bed, letting his tongue trace Elladan�s side. �Of your rosy nipples.� He flicked his tongue across one hardened nub, pausing long enough to give the other one the same treatment.
�And of this huge thing down here.� Legolas laughed. �I do not think I can fit it in my mouth. What do they feed you in Imladris?� Before Elladan had a chance to answer, Legolas continued. �Perhaps I shall try it after all. It looks so delicious.� His tongue touched the slit at the top of his lover�s erection, and despite his desire to chuckle at Legolas� antics, Elladan moaned. The prince traced the underside of his lover�s cock, sliding his tongue from the base to the tip. He thought he would never get enough of the taste of Elladan; spices, smoke, melting snowflakes. He swirled his tongue around the head, and opened his mouth to swallow Elladan whole. He licked, he sucked and he nibbled, all the time humming silently, making the experience more intense for his lover.
Grabbing the backs of Elladan�s knees, Legolas pulled his legs further apart and pushed them towards his chest a little. He kissed his way down, over Elladan�s sac, across the insides of his thighs and finally, when Elladan looked as if he had already given up all hope of ever reaching a climax, he touched the entrance to Elladan�s body with his tongue. Elladan whimpered, hurrying Legolas on. �Please, love, could you just take me? I am dying here.�
Legolas hurried over to a cupboard, fumbled around for a moment and emerged with a bottle of oil. �We need this, do we not?�
He climbed back on the bed, and lay down next to Elladan. They kissed, their hard, swollen cocks rubbing together between their bodies. When they withdrew from the kiss, they were both panting lightly.
Legolas� heart was so full of love, he felt like bursting. Elladan was his everything, and he wanted to give Elladan all he had. He wanted everything to be right on their first time.
They made sweet love, until the sun came up, and when they woke up few hours later, tangled in each other, they started again.
*~*
Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night, and felt a warm body behind you? You feel cherished and loved and protected as your lover�s breath caresses your neck? And you wonder how you could have ever been so stupid as to not see the love standing right before you? How could you not have recognised the telltale signs?
Have you ever felt so much love that you think you will drown in it? You cannot breathe? Your lover stirs from their slumber and holds you tighter to their chest and you realize it does not matter if it took you a bit longer because you are exactly where you are supposed to be. You would be happy there, in their arms, until the end of time, until the seas run dry.
I have.
The End
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