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An unCONVENTIONal Vacation
Author: Tongue In Cheek Scribe/TICS
Beta: none
Email: [email protected]
Rating: NC-17
Pairing:Erestor/Glorfindel, Legolas/Elladan, Legolas/Aragorn, Erestor/Elrond, Erestor/Gil-galad, Legolas/Elrond, Legolas/Glorfindel
Warnings: humor, AU
Request: Erestor/Glorfindel, Legolas/any twin, Legolas/Aragorn, Erestor/Elrond, Erestor/Gil-galad, Legolas/Elrond, Legolas/Glorfindel, kinda fluffy, maybe a reunion after some huge battle/parting etc?
Written For: Asha Dreamweaver
A/N: I hope you don't mind humor or AU...didn't see either listed in your squicks, so....it was the only way I could think of to get Aragorn and Gil-galad in the same room at the same time!
Hope your holidays are happy, healthy, and Elf-filled, and I hope you enjoy the fic!
Chapter 1
"I do not understand why you insist that we must do this, Elrond. It is dangerous, not to mention a frivolous waste of time."
Elrond rolled his eyes at the ebony haired Elf that stood with him on the shores of Valinor, watching the ship being readied for sail. "Honestly, Erestor...you are thousands of years old - when are you going to grow a sense of adventure? The rest of us are bored silly and desire a change of atmosphere. We need some diversions in our lives again! You alone are content to sit idly, reading your dusty tomes all day."
"I do not simply sit and read all day, Elrond. I happen to have a very full life here. Which reminds me, exactly what is your reasoning for stopping at the Grey Havens on the way? That will only waste more time!"
"It is not a waste of time to see old friends, Erestor. We will be picking up Elrohir, Elladan, Legolas, and Aragorn. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing them."
"Why Aragorn? Doesn't having a kingdom to rule keep him too busy for this type of nonsense?" Erestor sniffed, brushing an imaginary piece of lint from his sleeve.
"Aragorn needs a respite, too, Erestor. It is not easy being a king, a husband and a father."
"Bah..." was the only reply Erestor offered. "I suppose, if this folly is inevitable, then I should gather my things together. Eru knows whether we will find even the barest of comforts in this new place." He bowed his head respectfully to Elrond, then departed with his usual quick, no-nonsense step, heading for the home he shared with Glorfindel. Elrond watched him hurry along the path, shaking his head at his old Advisor. "I must speak to Glorfindel about him," Elrond thought, as he turned his attention to the ship once more, "that Elf is strung so tightly it's a wonder he hasn't snapped already."
Several days later, a commotion went up at the docks of the Grey Havens as the billowing white sails of the ship streamed into the harbor bearing Elrond, Erestor, Glorfindel, and Gil-galad to the shores of Arda.
Several familiar faces were waiting for them on the docks, smiling broadly at their arrival. Elrond spotted his twin sons, Elrohir and Elladan standing atop a pile of valises, waving their arms at him frantically. To Elrond, they looked none too steady on their feet. Legolas, son of the Mirkwood King, Thranduil, leaned against a lamppost, grinning and raising a hand in greeting. Elrond allowed himself the brief pleasure of sweeping his eyes up and down the firm form of the Prince, thinking fleetingly that he had filled out a bit since last Elrond had seen him, and that it suited him very well. Standing next to Legolas was Aragorn, Elrond's son-in-law and the current King of Gondor. Aragorn looked haggard to Elrond's keen eyes, the stress of ruling a kingdom showing itself in his careworn eyes, although he also grinned a welcome at the arriving Elves.
Debarking the ship, Elrond left the others on deck as he strode down the gangplank to meet his sons and old friends.
"ADA!" the twins shouted, throwing themselves at the older Elf, draping their arms around him, covering his face with slobbering kisses.
"Get a hold of yourselves! You're making a scene, and you know how I detest scenes!" Elrond hissed, trying to pry his sons off of his person. "I'm glad to see you too, but there are limits. Are you both drunk again?"
"Jush a little, Ada..." Elrohir slurred, covering a hiccup with his hand.
"It was hot and boring waiting for you to get here," his twin Elladan agreed, wobbling a bit on his feet. "We were thirty...er, thirsty."
"Wonderful! You'll spend the entire journey leaning over the railings of the ship hurling over the side. When, might I ask, was the last time you took a break from drinking to bathe?" Elrond frowned, wrinkling his nose at the strong odor emanating from his twin sons. The twins looked at each other, trying to remember.
"Elrond!" Legolas called, striding over to slap Elrond's back in greeting, nearly knocking the older Elf over in the process. "It is good to see you, My Lord! Whoa...Elladan, Elrohir...you smell like goats." He waved his hand in front of his nose, trying to dispel the odor that was making his eyes water. "Dead goats. Weeks dead goats."
"I beg your pardon...we resemble that remark!" Elrohir snorted, leaning against his brother.
"You resemble a pair of cave trolls. Get on board, get below deck, and scour that stench off of yourselves immediately!" Elrond ordered. Looking at the mound of valises, bags, and boxes piled on the dock, he asked, "Who does all of this belong to?"
"Us, Ada," Elladan called out over his shoulder, as the two staggered up the gangplank.
"All of this? Have you lost what little mind you were born with? We're only going for a week or so! I knew I shouldn't have agreed when your mother insisted that I bring you with us. 'Take the twins, Elrond. They need a vacation, too, Elrond. They miss you, Elrond. You're not touching me again unless you do, Elrond," he said in a high, singsong voice. "Honestly, it's not as if she's that good, anyway..." His mouth snapped shut when he realized that he had said far more than he intended. Blushing a bit, he turned his back on the swaying twins and moved on to greet Aragorn.
"How are you Elrond? How is Celebrian? Galadriel and Celeborn? It's good to see you again! Arwen and Eldarion send their love," Aragorn said, gripping Elrond's hand in greeting.
"They are fine...just fine. You look tired, Aragorn. You must really need this trip...I remember how difficult it is to juggle work and family," Elrond replied, smiling at the dark haired man.
"I do indeed, Elrond. How was the trip over from Aman?"
"Boring. Erestor was a pest the entire way, running about with a map and a compass insisting that we were veering off course. Glorfindel and Gil-galad spent the entire trip debating whether the food was better in the Halls of Waiting or in Valinor...it got to the point where I was seriously thinking of throwing them both overboard and giving them yet another shot at reincarnation."
Laughing, Aragorn and Legolas helped Elrond load the vast amount of luggage onto the ship, before casting off the line. The ship once again sailed out into the blue green expanse of the sea, as the Elves on board greeted those from the shore fondly.
They made themselves comfortable in deck chairs, enjoying the sea breeze and each other's company. Aragorn looked over at Elrond and asked, "Elrond, exactly where is it that we're going, anyway? You wouldn't tell us before...you just said it was a surprise."
"I was given some information from my mother-in-law about a certain event that is held once a year far, far to the West...further even than the shores of Aman. It seems that each year at this time, people from all over that land gather in one place with the express intention of honoring, nay, worshiping us."
"Us? Why would anyone want to worship us?" Legolas asked, raising his elegant brow.
"I do not know. I know only that they do, and that this event is called a 'convention.' I thought it would be an interesting diversion to show ourselves in the flesh, and see what happens!" Elrond replied, enjoying the stunned looks on his fellow Elves' faces.
"I am not an Elf, Elrond. Why am I going?" Aragorn asked, a bit put off at not being told that he was going to meet a bunch of Elf-worshippers.
"They do not only honor us, Aragorn...they honor you too. Even the Rohrrim, Hobbits, and Dwarves have their admirers! I believe it will prove to be a most interesting trip!"
Chapter 2
A couple of hours later, Elrond finally realized that neither of the twins had returned from below deck. Rolling his eyes, he said, "I shouldn't wonder if they've drowned themselves in the tubs."
"I'll go down and see what delays them, Lord Elrond," Legolas offered, glad for the excuse to stretch his legs. Walking a bit unsteadily, having not gotten his sea legs yet, the Prince of Mirkwood descended the narrow stairs into the belly of the ship where the sleeping and bathing quarters were located.
He met Elrohir on the way down. Still quite drunk, he at least, was reasonably clean, albeit soaking wet and completely naked.
"'Ro, I think, perhaps, it might be best if you put some clothes on before going topside," Legolas suggested, his eyes traveling the length of the Peredhil twin's sleek physique.
"Oh...I suppose Ada would pitch a fit...could you point me in the direction of our quarters?" Elrohir agreed, his surprise at his nakedness evident on his face.
Sighing, Legolas led him to the correct door, shaking his head as the inebriated Elf entered the room, promptly tripping over the pile of luggage that sat in the middle of it.
Closing the door and moving on, Legolas went into the bathing room, searching for Elladan. He found the dark haired Elf in the tub, fast asleep, his face just above the water line. Frowning, Legolas thought to himself that Elrond was nearly right - another half inch and Elladan might very well have drowned himself.
"Elladan...'Dan...wake up," Legolas said, grabbing Elladan's arm and hauling him up a little in the tub.
"Huh? Go away...I'm sleeping," Elladan muttered, trying to pull away from the fingers that held his arm up out of the warm water.
"Unless you fancy breathing water, you'd best wake up," Legolas retorted, pulling harder on the other Elf's arm. "If I let go, you'll go under."
"Let go!" Elladan muttered again, this time pulling his arm free. He immediately sank below the water line, and came up sputtering. He looked at Legolas, who grinned back at him. "You did that on purpose, Wood Elf!"
Legolas merely grinned wider, his eyes sparkling with merriment at the dripping, frowning face of the Peredhil twin.
Elladan's smooth, dark brows knitted even closer in a fierce frown, but his lips turned up in a smirk. Without warning, he grabbed hold of Legolas, hauling him over the side of the tub and into the water. The water sloshed over the sides of the tub, flooding the floor as the Prince went face down in the tub with Elladan.
Coming up immediately for air, Legolas sputtered water into Elladan's laughing face. Putting his hand on the darker Elf's forehead, he pushed Elladan back under the water, letting him up only when he was certain that Elrond's son would drown if he did not. He quickly climbed out of the tub before Elladan could regain his breath and attack him again.
"Argh! Look at me! I'm soaked to the skin, 'Dan!" Legolas cried, holding out his drenched and dripping tunic from his body. He turned from the tub, unfastening his tunic and peeling it off, discarding it on the floor of the washroom. Stripping out of his boots and leggings, completely unconcerned at his nakedness, he grabbed a towel and began drying off, muttering to himself the entire time. Bending at the waist, he towel dried his long, wheat colored hair, not hearing Elladan rise from the water himself.
"Need some help?" Elladan asked softly, coming up behind the naked Prince, taking the towel from Legolas' hands. Legolas spun around, finding his face mere inches from the handsome Peredhil's. He noticed a look of playfulness in Elladan's eyes, as well as the spark of something else...something that sent an electric jolt directly to Legolas' groin.
With great gentleness, Elladan began to towel the moisture from Legolas' body, taking care to catch each drop with the fluffy, soft towel. He slowly worked his way down the front of Legolas' body, his eyes taking in the Archer's well-muscled chest and abdomen, pausing when he reached the Prince's awakening Elfhood. Glancing up at Legolas' face, he found no indication that the Prince of Mirkwood was displeased with his attentions. He touched the towel to the quickly rising shaft before him, watching it bob at the feel of the soft material. Dropping the towel to the floor, Elladan leaned in, slowly dragging his tongue up Legolas' shaft, from the base to the tip, ending with a slight flick at the rounded head.
Legolas gasped at the feel of Elladan's soft warm tongue on his Elfhood, his hands entwining themselves in the midnight tresses of the other Elf. Taking his cue from the pressure of Legolas' hands on his head, Elladan took the head of the Prince's shaft into his mouth, his tongue running circles over the head, sucking gently. Feeling the pressure of Legolas' hands increase, he took him fully into his mouth, sucking hungrily now on the soft, velvety skin of the hardened rod.
Legolas moaned, feeling Elladan's lips encircle his Elfhood, then swallow it whole. His hips began to buck into the Peredhil's mouth, his hands still holding Elladan's head.
Elladan reached around Legolas' body, gripping his firm cheeks, kneading the soft flesh with his strong fingers as his mouth continued to devour the Prince. His own shaft was pulsing with desire, increasing by the minute as he tasted Legolas' precum on his tongue. Pulling away from Legolas, he looked up at the Prince, desire flaming in his dark, dancing eyes. "I would feel you in me, Prince of Mirkwood," he whispered.
Legolas bent at the waist, claiming Elladan's mouth in a hungry, tongue-lashing kiss. Breaking away, he walked quickly to the bath supply cabinet, grabbing a small bottle of massage oil from its shelves. Returning to Elladan, who had knelt on the floor on all fours, watching him while stroking his own member with deliberate, slow strokes, Legolas positioned himself behind the firm buttocks of the Peredhil twin.
Uncorking the bottle with his teeth, Legolas poured a liberal amount of oil on his hand. Spreading Elladan's cheeks, he sighed at the sight of the pink puckered opening hidden there, bending first to run his tongue tantalizingly over it, causing a visible shiver to run up Elladan's spine. Slowly, he inserted a well-oiled finger into the tight opening, hissing through his teeth at the feel of the silky channel that gripped it tightly. He rubbed his erection against Elladan's cheek and thigh, as he slid his finger in and out of Elladan's body, feeling the Elf respond to his touch. Soon enough, he had inserted another finger, and then a third, scissoring the ring of muscle until he felt Elladan ready to take him.
Pouring more oil directly on his Elfhood, sliding his hand up and down the shaft, lubricating it well, Legolas prodded the head of his erection against Elladan's opening, hearing the soft moan from his partner as the head breached the ring of muscle. Slowly, he slid in, inch by inch, until he was fully encased in Elladan's tight ass, fighting for control to keep from ramming him until he was adjusted to the girth filling him.
Elladan groaned, his hand working faster, his hips bucking back into Legolas as he felt the thick, hard shaft of the Prince brush against the sweet spot buried deep in his channel. "Faster, Legolas...harder, please!" he moaned.
Not needing to be told twice, Legolas rammed himself up to the hilt into Elladan again and again, his pace increasing as waves of pleasure boiled up from his sacs. "Come for me, Elladan...I am nearly through!" he groaned, gritting his teeth, trying to hold back.
With a loud cry, Elladan spilled his seed over his hand onto the bath floor, shudders running up and down his body as he climaxed.
Legolas came but a moment later as Elladan's muscles contracted around his Elfhood, milking the seed from it, his orgasm ripping a throaty cry from his lips.
They collapsed in a heap on the floor, their breathing slowly returning to normal. Sliding to one side, Legolas claimed Elladan's soft lips in another deep kiss. "You'd better get dressed," he said, "before your Ada sends someone else down, thinking you've drowned and taken me with you."
Elladan smiled, then reluctantly hauled himself from the floor, reaching a hand down to help Legolas up. Together, they picked up Elladan's dirty clothes, and Legolas' wet ones, and went in search of their rooms to get dressed.
Chapter 3
Two days after they set sail, the White Ship docked at a rundown, secluded dock that stretched haphazardly out onto an inlet of the sea. Securing her ropes to the dock, the Elves disembarked, carrying with them only the bare essentials - waterskins, a few loaves of lembas wrapped in large, green leaves, and their weapons.
They walked the shoreline for a hour or more before coming to a sight that stopped them dead in their tracks.
Buildings...incredibly tall, white, gleaming buildings rose from the shore, towering over the sands. Craning their necks back, they marveled at the sheer size of the structures.
"What King lives in these castles of stone?" Aragorn asked in awe. "Minas Tirith cannot hope to compete with such wonders."
"Galadriel has said that the 'convention' is taking place in a building such as these...we must be in the right place," Elrond concluded, leading the group on toward the closest hotel on the beach.
Approaching the front double doors, the group was stopped by the doorman. "Let me guess...you're looking for the Lord of the Rings convention, right?" he asked sarcastically, eyeing their wardrobe and weapons.
"Aye...the convention! Yes, that is where we seek to be, my friend," Elrond replied courteously.
"Swell. You need the Grand Cypress Hotel...that's three buildings over," the doorman instructed them, pointing the way.
"Our most sincere thanks," Elrond replied, bowing his head and touching his fist to his heart.
One after another of the group nodded their heads at the doorman, who simply stood there shaking his, as they marched in the direction he had pointed.
Stopping before the third building, the one the doorman had said housed the convention, Elrond looked at his group. "I must remind you that we are here to enjoy ourselves, but please, try not to make spectacles of yourselves in the process," he said, looking pointedly at the twins. He turned, leading the way into the hotel.
The lobby was lovely, full of white wicker furniture and pastel colored draperies, sparkling fountains, and glossy marble flooring.
"Are you here for the convention?" asked a voice to their right.
Looking over, Elrond spotted two women sitting in front of a table, stacks of small papers piled in front of them. One of the women held a flat board in her hand, along with what appeared to be a writing implement.
"Yes, we seek the convention," Elrond replied, smiling at the women.
"Names, please?"
"I am Elrond, the Half-Elven, Lord of Imaldris, these are my sons, Elladan and Elro..."
"I meant your real names," the woman said, rolling her eyes.
"I beg your pardon? Those are our names," Elrond said, raising an eyebrow nearly to his hairline.
"Riiight...and I'm Arwen, the EvenStar," the woman laughed.
"Hardly," came Glorfindel's voice from toward the back of the group, dripping with sarcasm.
"I heard that!" the woman sniffed. "Look...if you aren't on the list, then I really shouldn't let you in..."
"Please, Milady," Legolas said, approaching the table, and lifting the woman's hand to his lips, "we have traveled a great distance to be here...surely there is something you can do..."
The woman's mouth hung open as she gazed into Legolas' summer blue eyes. "Um...I...um, I really shouldn't, but...since you've come so far and all...and have those really great costumes...and wigs...and...ears...and...oh, sure, go on in!" she finished, completely flustered by the Elf's attentions.
Smiling, Legolas turned and winked at Elrond, leading the group through the doors to the side of the table. The found themselves in a gigantic hall, full of vendors hawking their wares to the throngs of people milling about.
Walking past the first stand, Erestor grabbed Glorfindel's arm, pointing to a set of leather bound books on the table. "Fin! Look at those books...have you ever seen such lovely things in your entire life? In either of your lives?" His dark eyes were round with wonder as he stared at the delicately engraved covers of the LOTR series.
Glorfindel sighed, tugging on Erestor's arm to get him moving again. "It figures that the first thing we see would be books, Erestor. I've never seen anyone get so excited about such mundane things the way you do."
Gil-Galad was standing at the next booth over, entranced by the miniatures on display there. "Fin...look at this...an entire battalion of archers...a squadron of riders...such detail! And no bigger than my little finger!"
Fin peeked over his shoulder, giving a low whistle between his teeth. "Now that is amazing! Is that a tiny balrog?"
"Now who's excited over mundane things?" Erestor sniffed, pulling on Glorfindel's arm, dragging him away from the exhibit.
Aragorn was walking with Legolas, when he turned to the blonde Elf and said, "I need to find the latrine." Legolas nodded in agreement, stopping at the next table to inquire after the facilities.
Following the directions they were given, they came to two doors. Choosing the door that had the male figure tacked to it, they entered the bathroom. "What the devil are these things?" Aragorn asked Legolas, eyeing the porcelain fonts mounted on the wall.
Legolas sniffed, and made a face. "I believe that is the trench you've been seeking, Aragorn." He leaned against the wall, watching as Aragorn removed his manhood from his leggings. His eyes began to darken as he watched the King of Gondor pee, thinking to himself that Strider had a scepter worthy of the throne.
Aragorn finished his business, and from the corner of his saw Legolas staring at his organ, still semi hard in his hand. A small smile played on the former Ranger's lips. He had, on occasion seen Legolas in the nude and remembered the exquisite beauty of the Elf's form. He felt his member stiffen further at the recollection.
His eyes saw water dripping from one of the sinks, and he stepped forward, curious. Touching the knob on the side, a gush of water came from the spout. Grinning, Aragorn cupped the water in his hand and cleansed himself, knowing that Legolas was still watching him. Turning, his eyes met Legolas', and Aragorn began to slowly stroke his member, feeling it harden more at his own touch.
Without a word, Legolas dropped to his knees, eagerly taking Aragorn into his mouth, sucking hungrily on the King's shaft. His long, slender fingers pulled at Aragorn's leggings, pushing them down to Aragorn's knees, then slid around to knead at the King's firm backside.
Aragorn moaned softly, his hands pressing down on Legolas' fair head, forcing the Elf to devour more of him. Legolas' hands traveled from Aragorn's buttocks to his own leggings, quickly unlacing them and removing his own organ, already stiff with need. Stroking himself with one hand, he gripped Aragorn's member with the other, squeezing gently on the hard, hot organ.
So caught up were they in their passion that neither heard the bathroom door open when Glorfindel and Erestor walked in on them.
Shocked into silence, the two older Elves stared at the Prince and the King, watching Legolas pleasure himself as he slid his full lips over Aragorn's shaft from the head to the hilt.
Erestor's eyes flew open when he felt Glorfindel's hand on his rear, massaging the firm flesh through the thin fabric of his leggings as the balrog-slayer watched the man and the elf. Turning to the blonde warrior, Erestor was not given the opportunity to speak for Glorfindel chose that moment to claim his mouth with a fiery kiss, his tongue pushing through Erestor's lips to taste him.
Unable, as always, to withstand the advances of his lover, Erestor responded in kind, his hands sliding down the muscular chest of the balrog-slayer, to efficiently unlace Glorfindel's leggings, pushing them down his thighs.
Springing into view, Glorfindel's impressive erection was already hot and hard, just waiting for Erestor's hand, which found it in short order. Glorfindel unlaced Erestor's leggings, which also found themselves pushed down to knee level, freeing Erestor's own organ. Together they stroked each other, rubbing their stiffened shafts against one another's, never breaking that all-consuming kiss.
Aragorn's eyes darted over, widening a bit at the sight of the two older Elves with their leggings down around their knees, rubbing themselves wantonly against each other. He drew in a deep breath as Glorfindel sank to his knees and took Erestor into his mouth, mimicking Legolas. His hand cupped Erestor's sac as he alternated sucking noisily on his shaft with grazing his teeth softly along the delicate skin.
Moans began to fill the air as Aragorn and Erestor drew closer to their peaks, their ass cheeks clenching as their orgasms swept through them. Shuddering, the two of them withdrew from their partners and exchanged a look across the room.
"Go to him, Fin...I want to watch you take him," Erestor whispered to Glorfindel, whose Elfhood throbbed with his need, reddened and rock hard.
Glorfindel turned lust darkened eyes on the Prince of Mirkwood, whose own shaft bobbed against his taut stomach. The golden warrior crossed the room in a few steps, roughly grabbing Legolas' hair with both fists and claiming his mouth in a passionate, open mouthed kiss.
His strong hands grabbed Legolas around the waist and easily flipped him onto all fours. Separating the Prince's cheeks with his fingers, exposing Legolas' quivering pink entrance, Glorfindel bent down, sweeping his tongue over the opening, feeling the muscle clench at his touch. Light flicks of his tongue over the sweet entrance made Legolas moan and wriggle in anticipation.
Erestor noticed the small boxes attached to the wall and pressed a lever, releasing a small amount of slick soap into the palm of his hand. Bringing it over to Glorfindel, he used a finger to apply the slippery goo to the ring of muscle Glorfindel had exposed. Smiling, Erestor again backed off, content to watch his lover and the Prince.
Glorfindel slid his finger around in the slick soap that coated Legolas' opening, then slipped his finger into his depths, closing his eyes at the tight feel of the silky sheathe grabbing his digit. Slowly he pumped his finger in and out, soon adding another finger, scissoring the ring of muscle, opening the entrance wider.
Legolas groaned as Glorfindel removed his fingers, then gasped when he felt the head of the balrog-slayer's organ probe his entrance. In one swift movement, Glorfindel sheathed himself completely in Legolas' tight ass, his hands gripping the Prince's hips, drawing him back into his thrust.
Stroking himself madly as Glorfindel rode him, Legolas groaned loudly as he spilled his silver seed over his hand in great spurts. His climax drove Glorfindel over the edge, the muscles in the Prince's rectum squeezing him dry, his golden head thrown back, a guttural sound ripping from his throat.
Panting, the two looked up from the floor at the others, and the four of them exchanged smiles. They helped each other wash off, pulled up their leggings, and walked back out into the main room.
Elrond looked at them, cocking an eyebrow, and wondered what had happened in there that had put such big grins on their faces.
Chapter 4
Gil-Galad approached a vendor, his imposing figure cutting through the crowd of pimply-faced teenagers that had been crowding the booth, curious about why this vendor's wares that had attracted such a crowd.
His dark blue eyes scanned the tabletop, a smile turning up the corners of his mouth in appreciation of the sight of the gleaming weapons that had been carefully arranged on the black velvet tablecloth.
"See anything you like, Buddy?" the vendor asked, noticing Gil-Galad's interest.
"Aye...these are fine weapons. I have never seen a sword or knife that gleamed so brightly...why, I could see my reflection in the blade! Be they as sharp as they appear, Master Smithy?"
"Yeah, they're sharp, alright," the vendor whispered conspiratorially. "We're not supposed to sell them sharp, but...it's what the customers want that's important, right?"
"Why would one want to purchase a dull sword?" Gil-Galad asked, looking confused.
"Exactly. Any one you've got your eye on?"
"No, but this...this looks just like a spear I knew ages ago..." the tall Elf said, running his finger down the length of the reproduction of Aiglos. "Although I know for certain it cannot be."
"Fine specimen...only two hundred and seventy two fifty with tax...comes with a plaque you can mount it with," the vendor enticed.
"Mount it! Are you daft? Who would be sick enough to try to mount a spear? Although I must say in my day my spear mounted more than it's fair share of Orcs."
It was the vendor's turn to look confused. Gil-Galad removed a small sack from his belt, fishing around inside of it for moment before withdrawing a couple of shiny goldpieces. "Will this suffice?"
"Well...I usually don't barter...but this looks to be the best reproduction of a Lorien goldpiece I've ever seen! Are they gold-plated? Never mind - deal!" the vendor said, accepting the gold from the Elf, and presenting him with the spear. "I guess you won't be wanting the plaque then?"
"No, this will suffice," Gil-galad replied, lifting the spear, testing its heft. He smiled broadly as the spear in his hand brought a flood of memory with it. He quickly thrust it into the spear-holder behind his shoulder, along with the one he already carried.
Leaving the booth, he walked along, his eyes darting from table to table, amused at the variety of merchandise being sold. There were several more tables of weapons, though none with a spear as wonderful as the one he had purchased; tables of leather armor, helmets, gauntlets and the like; tables of figurines, some of which looked rather familiar to his keen eyes; and tables of books and magazines. Before long, he noticed Erestor standing before a booth, one hand covering his mouth, staring intently at the closed flap.
"Erestor? Is something wrong?" he asked the other dark haired Elf.
"Gil! I just wandered into this tent, and...and...you would not believe what the vendor has in there!" Erestor said, not taking his eyes off of the flap.
"What in Arda could possibly be in there that has upset you so?" Gil-galad asked, putting a hand on Erestor's shoulder. "Where is Fin? Should I fetch him for you?"
"No...no. Fin is busy at the moment. He and Aragorn have found a chess game and are playing - I do not wish to disturb him over something silly like this," Erestor replied, patting Gil-galad's hand with his own. "I just couldn't stay in there by myself. Would you come in with me for a moment?"
"Certainly, but tell me, what is it that they sell in here?"
"Books."
"Books? You've been spooked by books?"
"Books unlike any you have ever seen. Come, I'll show you," Erestor said, reaching and pulling back the flap far enough for Gil-galad to enter the booth. He followed, and let the flap fall shut behind them.
The booth did indeed, sell books - glossy, thin, colorful books. Picking one at random, Gil-galad opened it, his eyes scanning the drawings within. He suddenly slapped the book shut, his mouth dropping open as he turned to look at Erestor. "These are...they are..."
"I know. Look closer for a moment...not only are the drawings all of sexual acts, but they are of us performing those acts!"
"No!" Gil-galad murmured, re-opening the book and taking a closer look at the images. "Is that Legolas?"
"And Aragorn."
"Is that a dwarf?"
"I believe it is supposed to be Gimli."
Gil-galad began to laugh heartily, his voice filling the booth. "I cannot believe this! Who is the author of such masterpieces?"
"I know not the name inscribed on the cover. Besides, it doesn't matter in the least...you will NOT be bringing such filth back to Valinor."
"Filth? Are you certain, Erestor?" Gil-galad asked, his hand removing another volume from the shelf. "This one is about you and Glorfindel."
"What?" Erestor gasped, snatching the thin book from Gil-galad's hand and opening it. A blush crept up to color his ears as he flipped through the pages. "Give me a gold piece."
"I thought that such filth was not to be brought back to Valinor..." Gil-galad laughed, reaching into his money purse and handing Erestor the desired gold piece, receiving a smirk from Erestor in return.
"This particular volume is not filth...it is art," was Erestor's reply.
Paying for his purchase, Erestor waited patiently while Gil-galad spent more than a few moments perusing more of the books. His black eyes drifting, he raised an eyebrow at the large bulge the material was causing to rise in Gil-galad's breeches.
Suddenly, an image of the swarthy Elf, naked to the waist, muscles rippling as he practiced swordplay as Erestor had seen him do many times, sprang into the quiet Elf's mind. Erestor swallowed hard, his own member springing to life.
"I think perhaps we should go, Gil," Erestor whispered, touching the big Elf on the forearm. "The others may be looking for us."
Turning, Gil-galad looked into the dark depths of Erestor's eyes, and saw the spark that flickered there, inspired, no doubt by the images in the books they had been looking at. A small smile playing at his lips, as he took Erestor's elbow and gallantly led him from the booth.
"I feel a sudden urge to find a quiet spot, Erestor," he whispered in the blushing Elf's ear. "Glorfindel is playing chess, and will no doubt be occupied thusly for some time..."
"Aye..." Erestor agreed, his blush intensifying. He allowed Gil-galad to lead him out of the main room, back out into the lobby. Gil spotted a tiny room just off of the lobby - windowless and very small, but suitable for their purposes.
Stepping into the room, they realized that there was no door to close and afford them some privacy - just a panel of small round stones stuck into a wall. Each of the stones had a marking on it.
"What are these for, you do suppose?" Erestor asked, touching his finger to one of the stones.
Instantly, a hereto unseen door slid shut, sealing them in the room. Banging on the door with his fist, Gil-Galad roared at being trapped in the tiny, windowless room.
Erestor nearly jumped into his arms when they both felt an upwards motion begin. "What devilry is this?" he screamed, clinging to the larger Elf.
Gil-galad smashed his fist against the panel of stones. Suddenly, the room stopped, and a disembodied voice reached their ears.
"Your elevator has stopped due to technical difficulties. We are working to resume service. Please make yourselves comfortable, and accept our apologies for this inconvenience."
"Thank you," Erestor said to the recorded voice. Looking at Gil-galad, he said, "It appears that we are stuck here for the time being."
Gil-galad smiled, his eyes twinkling. "Whatever should we do to pass the time, 'Restor?" He lifted his hand, softly stroking Erestor's silken jet hair. "Perhaps I have never told you, but I believe you to be one of the most lovely Elves in all of Valinor, Erestor...often I have watched you stroll through gardens, the sunlight catching the sheen in your hair..." His head bent closer even as his tongue spoke the words, his lips brushing against Erestor's.
Erestor drew in his breath at the electric touch of Gil-galad's lips to his. Closing his eyes, he returned the kiss with a passion that surprised himself. His fingers reached to coil themselves in the former King's dark tresses, pulling his head closer.
Gil-galad's hands encircled Erestor, gliding over his back, crushing his body close enough for Erestor to feel the heat from the bulge in Gil's leggings meet with the heat in his own groin. Rubbing himself against the Chief Advisor, he moaned softly into Erestor's mouth.
"I mean not for this first time between us to be fast, but I fear I will not last long...I feel as though I want to devour you whole, Erestor..." he said, his voice hoarse with desire.
"Take me, Gil-galad, my Radiant Star..." Erestor replied, plunging his tongue into Gil-galad's mouth, plundering it with a fervor. His fingers clawed at the closures of Gil-galad's tunic, suddenly desperate to feel the King's skin under them.
Gil broke their kiss, pausing to strip out of his tunic, his eyes watching Erestor as he did the same. Boots were kicked off, leggings discarded, until both Elves stood facing each other, nude, their organs weeping at the sight of each other.
Dropping to his knees, Erestor flicked his tongue lightly over the head of Gil's organ, tasting the precum at its tip, feeling the strong hands of the King on his head. Slowly, he slid his tongue down the rock hard shaft, to the full sac hanging just below. He gently took the sac in his mouth, first the right half, then the left, nearly smiling at the gasp his actions solicited from Gil-galad.
His tongue once again traveled up Gil's Elfhood, drawing the head into his mouth fully this time.
Gil's head fell back, his mouth open as he felt the strong suction Erestor applied to his aching balls; a moan beginning deep in his throat as the other Elf's soft, hot mouth enveloped his organ. Slowly sliding down the wall of the small room, drawing Erestor down with him, he twisted his body so that his head rested at Erestor's groin, and Erestor's mouth within easy reach of his own member. Together, they began to suck each other in tandem, each devouring the other's Elfhood in long, languid motions.
Releasing Erestor's shaft from his mouth for a brief moment, Gil-galad wet his finger with his saliva, then gently probed between the firm cheeks of his lover, searching for Erestor's opening. Finding it, he probed gently, while resuming his devotions to Erestor's Elfhood. He could feel Erestor moan against his own organ as Gil's finger slid within Erestor's tight, silky sheathe. Plunging his finger in deeper, he brushed against Erestor's pleasure spot, delighting in the shudder than ran through the Elf's body at his touch.
Faster and harder they sucked, bucking into each other's mouths, moaning against the hard heat and soft, delicate skin. Their moans grew louder, their hips moved faster as they came at nearly the same moment, drinking deeply of each other's seed.
Panting, Gil sat up, pulling Erestor into his arms, kissing him, tasting himself on the Advisor's tongue.
Erestor lay his head on the big Elf's broad chest, listening to his heartbeat. "Glorfindel is my life, my love," he thought to himself, "but thank Eru for a dalliance now and then!"
Still lethargic from their lovemaking, they forced themselves to redress. No words were spoken, but gentle, knowing smiles were exchanged.
Shortly after, they felt the room move again, in a downward motion this time. When it stopped, the secret door slid open and they emerged back into the lobby, a maintenance man raising an eyebrow at their disheveled appearance.
Chapter 5
Legolas frowned, lifting the arrow in his hand, running his fingers over the length of it, from the feathers down to the iron arrowhead. "This arrow would never fly...it is completely off balance."
"It's only a reproduction of Legolas' arrows. It's meant to be mounted on the wall, not shot from a bow," the vendor said huffily, taking the arrow from Legolas' hand and placing it back on the table with a half dozen of its mates.
"What good is an arrow that won't fly?" Legolas scoffed, lifting an elegant brow at the vendor, before moving to the next table. He found himself next to Elrond, who was examining several vials of liquids, picking one up and smelling it, then another.
"Herbs, Elrond?" Legolas asked the healer, curious.
"No...bath oils," Elrond replied. He lifted a vial to Legolas' nose. "This one is sandalwood...what do you think?"
Legolas' head recoiled from the pungent aroma coming from the small vial. "Eww...it reeks!"
"You're only supposed to use a tiny bit..."Elrond laughed, putting the vial down. "This one is jasmine," he continued, lifting another vial.
Legolas put his hand over Elrond's, preventing him from putting the vial to his sensitive nose. "I'll take your word on it, my Lord."
Suddenly, from behind them came several high pitched, feminine squeals, setting their teeth on edge. The two Elves fought the urge to cover their delicate ears as the shrieks pierced them. Turning, they saw a group of young females staring at them, emitting those eardrum-shattering sounds.
"OH MY GOD! IS THAT LEGOLAS?" screamed one, pointing and looking as thought she might actually faint.
"IT IS LEGOLAS! LEGOLAS AND ELROND!"
"I LOVE YOU, LEGOLAS!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" the group of girls surged forward, seemingly intent on devouring the two Elves right there, in front of the bath oil vendor's wide eyes.
Recoiling from the advancing group of shrieking teenagers, Legolas and Elrond looked at each other, then at the girls, then back at each other. As one, they took off running, trying to put as much distance between themselves and the galloping herd of hormones that was chasing them as possible.
"STOP LEGOLAS! STOP!"
"I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABY!"
"Who are these females, and why are they after you?" Elrond puffed, still running at full speed.
"I have never seen them before...I do not know them. I do not think I want to know them..." Legolas replied, neatly jumping over a waist high display of video tapes. The two Elves ran and ran, finally outdistancing the herd of human girls, ducking into an open door at the far end of the convention hall. Slamming the door behind them, they both leaned against it, their hearts thudding in their chests. They began to pile chairs and tables from within the conference room as a barrier in front of the door.
"There...they will never be able to break through that...Urak Hai couldn't break through it!" Legolas declared, wiping his hands on his tunic.
"Legolas...they certainly will not be able to get in here, but then again, we shall not be able to get out, either," Elrond pointed out.
"Do you really want to go back out there right now? Those girls could be lying in wait just outside the door."
"Perhaps it would be best to remain here for a while," Elrond agreed, taking a chair and sitting down. Crossing his legs, he regarded the much younger Elf. "Legolas," he said, chuckling a bit, "it seems that the ladies here find you as irresistible as the Ellith in Arda do..."
Sighing, Legolas rolled his eyes. "I do not understand why. I am no more fair than any other Elf...look at yourself, for example. You are wise and experienced, as well as lovely to look upon. Why are you not constantly assaulted as I am?"
Smiling at the Elf's compliments, Elrond answered, "I thank you for your kind words, Prince of Mirkwood, but it is well agreed that you are far more fair than most. I have often admired your beauty..." Elrond stopped, blushing at having admitted watching the other Elf.
Surprised at the Elf Lord's confession, Legolas looked at Elrond. His eyes took in Elrond's gleaming, ebony hair, smooth skin, and eyes that were the color of deep water, a smile touching his lips.
"I too, have watched you on occasion, My Lord. Your grace and assuredness have always intrigued me," he replied quietly. Legolas moved closer to Elrond, lifting a hand to touch the Elf Lord's smooth cheek.
Elrond saw the fire spark in the Prince's eyes, and closed his own as Legolas' hand softly stroked his cheek. Thinking to himself that he would soon be returning to Valinor, and Eru alone knew when this lovely Elf would sail there himself, Elrond made a decision. He placed his hand over the Prince's, then turned his head to place a kiss on Legolas' palm.
Opening his eyes, he stood, still holding Legolas' hand to his cheek, placing his own hand on the back of Legolas' head, drawing him closer. Dipping his head, Elrond brushed his lips against Legolas' soft, warm mouth.
Drawing back to look into the bright blue eyes of the Prince of Mirkwood, Elrond asked, "Do you want me, Legolas?"
"I have wanted you since I reached my majority and was sent for the first time by my Adar as emissary to Imaldris, Elrond. I wanted you even then."
"I have wanted to taste of your charms, as well, Legolas..." Elrond said, finishing by claiming the Prince's lips in a fiery kiss, his tongue thrusting past Legolas' lips to plunder his moist, hot mouth.
Legolas responded in kind, both Elves struggling for dominance over the other. In a frenzy of fevered, sloppy kissing, their hands ripped at their clothes, nearly tearing them from their bodies in the release of ages of mutual attraction.
Naked at last, their erections rubbing against each others, their hands cupping and kneading the firm flesh of each other's backsides, it was Legolas who finally got control of the situation, sitting in the chair Elrond had recently vacated, pulling the Elf Lord onto his lap to straddle his hips.
Their Elfhoods throbbing against one another's, Legolas took both in his hand at once, stroking them in unison, his lips finding Elrond's nipple. Sucking hard at the tiny nub, he rolled his tongue over it, rewarded by the older Elf's soft moan.
Elrond wrapped his hands in the silky mane of Legolas' head, bending to kiss the crown of it, breathing in deeply of the woodsy scent of the Wood Elf's hair.
Faster Legolas pumped their erections, precum from both wetting his hand, allowing it slide easily up and down the thick shafts. Nipping at Elrond's dusky nipple, he looked up at the Elf Lord. "I want to feel myself inside of you, but have nothing to ease your discomfort."
"Use your mouth, my Princeling," Elrond whispered, leaving Legolas' mouth. "I do not care if it is uncomfortable...I have waited far too long to miss the sensation of having you fill me." He rose from Legolas' lap and knelt, presenting his opening to the Prince, who could barely restrain himself from plunging his Elfhood into Elrond's pale brown, puckered entry and taking him forcefully.
Kneeling behind Elrond, Legolas held the Lord of Imaldris' cheeks open with his hands, bending his head to slowly slide his tongue up over the quivering entry. Lightly flicking it with his tongue, Legolas felt the Peredhil's cheeks clench in pleasure. A sigh escaped Elrond's lips as Legolas' tongue breached his opening, thrusting into his tight sheathe as far as possible, before withdrawing and thrusting forward again. Elrond began to buck backwards, as he pulled at his own shaft, the sensations of the Prince's tongue pumping in and out of his rear nearly undoing him. Legolas' hand found Elrond's sac, and began gently squeezing the firm bag, adding to Elrond's pleasure. Elrond virtually squirmed under the Prince's ministrations, his moans becoming louder.
"Take me, Legolas...I want to come while you are inside of me," he rasped, his hips bucking helplessly, his body quivering. "Take me!" he ordered.
Rearing behind the Elf Lord, Legolas spat into his hand, wetting his erection. Slowly, he breached Elrond's entry with the head of his organ, groaning as the sweet hotness enveloped it. Pushing forward, easing himself in, his groans grew louder and longer at the feel of the silken sheath squeezing around his Elfhood.
Pausing to allow Elrond to get used to his girth, Legolas gritted his teeth, fighting the nearly overwhelming urge to ram himself deeper within the Lord of Imaldris.
He began to buck in and out, each time drawing further out, then plunging back in deeper than before, until he was buried to the hilt in Elrond's hot channel.
"Come for me, My Lord...come..." he whispered, pumping faster toward his own release.
Stroking himself furiously, Elrond threw his head back screaming Legolas' name as his climax blossomed, his seed spurting even as his hips bucked furiously, meeting Legolas' every thrust.
Hearing his name on Elrond's lips as his channel spasmed around his Elfhood, Legolas came hard, filling Elrond with his essence, his fingernails scraping furloughs along the Elf Lord's strong back.
He collapsed on top of Elrond, remaining there until his breathing and heartbeat returned to a more normal pace. Rising, he helped Elrond to his feet before kissing him deeply.
"I thank you, My Lord...I have dreamed of this encounter since I was little more than a pup," Legolas whispered, looking deeply into Elrond's eyes and stroking his jet hair.
Elrond smiled softly, cupping Legolas' beautiful face in both his hands, kissing him back. "I will carry the memory of this day until you sail to Valinor, Sweet Prince. Perhaps then, we will enjoy one another again."
Dressing, they turned to look at the door.
"Do you think they've gone?" Legolas asked, putting his ear to the door. "I do not hear them outside."
"We cannot very well stay in here forever, Legolas," Elrond smiled, patting the younger Elf on the shoulder. "Do not worry...if they are still out there, I will throw myself at them while you run!"
Laughing, the Elves moved the furniture they had piled in front of the door, and peeked outside. Not seeing the horde of teenaged girls, they slipped out side, and went in search of their friends.
Chapter 6
Leaving the conference room, Legolas and Elrond met up with Elladan and Elrohir. Both Peredhil twins were carrying armloads of boxes and bags.
Elrond eyed them, arching a brow at the mass of merchandise the twins carried. "What in Arda did you buy?" he asked them.
"Everything! I bought books, weapons, armor, and a statue that looks very much like Aragorn that speaks!" Elladan laughed, the boxes and bags in his arms jiggling dangerously
"A statue that speaks? How can this be? What does it say?" Legolas asked, intrigued and wondering whether he should purchase a such a statue for Eldarion.
"It says many things...I will show you," Elladan said, putting his packages down on the ground. He pulled a plastic statue from one of the bags. Elrond and Legolas leaned closer, admiring the likeness of the King of Gondor. Elladan pushed a small button at the statue's base.
A male voice said, "Mae govannen."
He pushed the button again, and again, the statue reciting a different line from the LOTR trilogy each time it was depressed.
"You have some skill with a blade."
"Havo dad Legolas."
Legolas' eyebrows raised at that last phrase. "Why does it tell me to sit down?"
"Hmmph. Seems a rather silly thing for a statue to say," Elrond smirked.
Elladan shrugged, putting the statue back in the bag and picking up his bundles.
"That's nothing!" Elrohir said, pulling a statue from his own bags. "Look at this one!"
Looking closely at the statue, Legolas' eyebrows shot up. "It looks like me!" he said. "Does it also speak?"
"Aye! Listen..."
Elrohir pressed the button on the Legolas statue.
"This is no mere ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn."
"Shall I describe it to you... or would you like me to find you a box?"
"You're late. You look terrible."
Legolas looked a bit confused at the sayings spouted by his plastic namesake, but the other three Elves found it vastly amusing.
"Take me to the vendor where you purchased these statues," Legolas asked Elladan. "I would like to see what other marvels he has for sale."
Elrond watched the three young Elves walk off, chatting among themselves. He turned, and began walking, scanning the crowd for a glimpse of a familiar face.
He spotted Glorfindel and Aragorn sitting at a small table off to one side of the convention hall. Erestor was leaning over Glorfindel's shoulder, watching their chess match.
"Hai! I take your bishop, Aragorn!" Glorfindel cried, snatching the piece from the board.
Aragorn frowned at the older Elf, then resumed studying the board. Erestor played idly with a strand of Glorfindel's hair, obviously bored out of his mind. He spotted Elrond approaching and smiled a welcome.
"They've been at it for hours, now!" Erestor complained as soon as Elrond was within hearing. "Have they really come all the way from Arda to play chess? They could have done that without leaving the docks!"
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