Title: Try Again (sequel to So Many Songs)
Author: Pam (cheshirecat) and Jo (slashgirl)
Pairing: Kian/Nicky,
Mark/Brian
Disclaimer: Don’t know
any of them or their sexuality. This is all fiction.
Summary: In this part
we see if Mark’s fears can be overcome and will he find love?
Warnings/Rating: Adult
It
had been almost a month since Mark spent the weekend at his friends'
house. He hadn't spoken to either of the blonds since. A lot had
happened in his life. Four days after that weekend, on a Thursday morning
while he was teaching a class the school had received a phone call. The
school secretary had looked very distressed as she came to get Mark out of the
class room, giving him news that would send him driving to
Now he had finally got back to
"Kian please," Mark begged, "don't make me do this on the
phone. It's hard enough as it is, just come over, please?"
Even he could hear the shiver in his voice as he tried to fight his tears and
Kian seemed to have caught up on it as well at long last, promising he and Nicky
would be over ASAP.
It was a good thing Kian still had the spare key for the flat because there was
no answer when he and Nicky got there. "Mark?" Kian called as
he let himself in. Getting no reply he checked the living room first, and
then the bedroom where he found Mark huddled up on the bed, hugging his pillow
tightly.
"Mark? You OK?" Kian asked as he hurried towards the bed,
gathering his friend in his arms. Nicky stayed in the doorway,
instinctively knowing Mark needed Kian in that moment. As Kian looked up
at his boyfriend with Mark crying on his shoulder Nicky signalled he was going
to make some drinks.
"What happened, mate?" Kian spoke softly as he hugged his friend
tightly, running a hand through the dark hair.
"Dad's... he's dead. Two weeks ago. He was sick, doctors
thought he had just days left so mum called the school, I was teaching a class
so my mobile was at the flat. I rushed home when they told me, grabbed
some clothes and left, forgot my mobile too. I only just got back and heard
your messages. I'm sorry I worried you."
"It's alright. You had other things on your mind, it's OK, I
understand," Kian hushed. As upset as he'd been not hearing from
Mark and not knowing what was going on, he did know now was not the time to
vent his anger, Mark needed him to just be there for him now.
A few minutes later Nicky carefully pushed the door open, carrying 3
damping mugs: "Anyone for tea?"
"Mark mate, you want some tea?" Kian asked when Mark didn't
respond.
Mark couldn't speak so just nodded, untangling himself from Kian's arms as
Nicky handed him his mug. Sipping it he smiled at Nicky, whispering:
"You remembered the sugar."
"Of course. I care about you too, Mark."
"I'm so lucky to have you. Both of you," Mark spoke as he
calmed down a bit as he drank his tea.
"We're always here, Mark. Always," Kian spoke, knowing Mark
would need them more than he would admit in days, maybe weeks to come.
The
mugs of tea were drunk in an uneasy silence. Kian didn’t really know what to
say to Mark who remained quiet next to his friend. Nicky sat a little distance
a way from Mark and Kian wondering what the problem was but not daring to ask.
When they had finished Nicky gathered the cups and went to take them
downstairs. Kian spoke. “Mark I just need to pop out for a moment. Will you be
okay?” Kian knew that no matter what Mark said he was far from being okay but
he gave a small nod having an idea why Kian wanted to follow Nicky.
When they got to the kitchen Kian spoke. “Nicky Mark’s dad died two weeks ago.”
Nicky couldn’t help but gasp as he pulled Kian into a hug.
“That’s awful no wonder he’s is such a state. Have you got much out of him?”
“Not really but I’m sure there’s more to him being upset than he’s telling us
currently. I think it’ll be best if one of us stays here with him or we try and
persuade him to come and stay with us for as long as he needs.”
“Good idea Kian let’s try and get him to ours.”
Nicky and Kian went back up to see how Mark was and found him curled up again
hugging a pillow. Kian and Nicky went over and sat either side of Mark. Kian
pulled the pillow out of Mark’s hands and Mark immediately hugged into Kian.
“It was awful Kian. I didn’t know about the will my dad had done and wasn’t
expecting it.” Mark rambled. Kian and Nicky looked at each other and wondered
what on earth Mark was going on about.
“It’s okay Mark” Nicky tried to say soothingly. “You just rest for now we’re
here and we’re going to take you home with us.”
“It won’t make what I did any better.” Mark whispered tears falling down his
cheeks.
“Whatever it is I’m sure everyone will understand” Kian said still wondering
what Mark had done.
“My dad wanted me to do one thing for him and I couldn’t do it even for him”
Mark sobbed.
“Couldn’t do what?” Nicky asked.
“Sing his favourite song at his funeral.” Mark finally blurted out.
The penny finally dropped for both Kian and Nicky. Mark was distraught that his
stage fright had prevented him for doing one last request for his dad.
“But they knew about your stage fright Mark didn’t they?” Kian asked rubbing
Mark’s back.
“But I should have been able to do it for him.” Mark argued.
“I’m sure no one thinks you’re a bad person for not being able to do it Mark.”
Kian said hoping that they could make Mark see sense.
“My aunt doesn’t” Mark huffed. “She told me I was useless and a waste of
space.”
“Then she obviously doesn’t know you Mark” Nicky gasped. “All the times you
helped me and Kian when we needed it. We may not be together if it hadn’t been
for your help.”
“But it doesn’t make up for the fact I couldn’t sing my dad’s favourite song
when it meant the most.”
Kian pulled Mark’s face up to so that he could look him in the eye. “If it
means that much to you Mark you have to let us help you.”
“Help me how?”
“Help you sing that song for your dad.”
"You
can't. It's too late," Mark sobbed, hiding his face in the crook of
Kian's neck as Nicky hugged him from behind.
"It's never too late," Kian spoke softly, slightly pushing Mark away
to look in his eyes. "Do you really think your dad minds you
couldn't sing at the funeral? The important thing for him was probably
that it was a step to cure your stage fright, it's not about timing. I'm
sure he's still somehow watching you, Mark, watching over you, trying to help
you. I reckon that's why he wanted you to sing more than anything
else."
"You think so?"
"I'm sure of it," Kian pulled Mark close again, instinctively
knowing his friend needed the closeness more than he would ever
say. "You wanna come to our place now?"
"Yeah," Mark croaked, once more fighting his tears.
"OK. Let's get your stuff then and go; you can't stay here on your
own."
Mark was very quiet all through the evening but neither Nicky nor Kian wanted
to say something about it, not wanting to upset their friend any more.
They just watched a film that was on in silence, then Mark wished them
goodnight and went to bed. Half an hour later as Kian and Nicky followed
his example they heard sobs coming from the guest room where Mark was
staying. Softly not to startle the taller lad Kian knocked the door,
trying the handle when he got no reply. The door wasn't locked so he went
in, followed suit by Nicky. Kian knelt by the bed as Nicky stayed by the
door.
"Hey," Kian softly whispered as he ran a hand through Mark's
hair.
"Kian," Mark sobbed, trying to reach for his friend but not having
the energy.
"Why aren't you sleeping?" Kian softly asked.
"Can't" was all Mark managed to say.
"You need to sleep, Mark, you're wrecked," Kian reasoned with his
friend. Mark just rolled his eyes in reply,
didn't Kian understand he couldn't sleep? He was wrecked but he hadn't
been able to sleep since learning his father had wanted him to sing at
the funeral, he felt too guilty. Kian seemed to sense his friend had
too much on his mind: "Want me to stay here 'til you fall asleep?"
"Let me hold you?" Mark asked before thinking.
Nicky felt a pang of jealousy as his boyfriend threw him an apologetic look and
got into Mark's bed but it didn't last long as Mark reached out to him as well:
"Nicky? Would you hold me?" Unable to refuse his friend's
pleading look Nicky too obliged.
Placing a butterfly kiss on the dark hair he then whispered: "Now just
sleep, mate, it'll be OK. We're here for you."
It still took a while for Mark's sobs to subside but finally his breathing
changed, indicating that he'd fallen asleep. Careful not to wake his
friend Kian slowly untangled himself from Mark's arms: "Nick babe, I think
he's OK now. Wanna go to our room and continue what we were doing before
he called?"
Nicky liked the glint he saw in Kian's eyes but his arm was stuck under
Mark: "Ki, I'm stuck. With his boyfriend's help he managed to
get his arm back from underneath Mark. "Thanks," he whispered
and kissed his lover. "Now what were you saying?"
Mark
may have fallen asleep but his thoughts were far from restful. His mind kept
going over everything that had happened and everything Kian and Nicky had said
to him but he still couldn’t see how he could make it better.
Kian and Nicky made their way to their room making sure they were as quiet as
possible so as not to wake Mark. “I don’t think Mark’s going to get over this
too easy” Nicky commented before kissing Kian gently on the lips. “I know but
if we can help him practice the song he can still sing it for his dad. I just
hope we can make him see it’s not too late.” Kian replied kissing Nicky back.
“Anyway lets just think about sorting out this” Kian continued brushing his
fingertips over the fast growing bulge in Nicky’s jeans. “I won’t say no to
that” Nicky grunted.
Nicky made light work of removing Kian’s clothing and waited for Kian to do the
same but instead he just lay down on the bed and
spread himself out leaving Nicky struggling even more. “Didn’t you forget
something?” Nicky asked looking down at himself.
Kian tried not to laugh as he knew that teasing Nicky like this would mean he
came even quicker but calmly he spoke. “No don’t think so.” After his Kian took
hold of his cock and slowly stroked it a couple of times. He could see the look
of pure desire in Nicky’s eyes but was determined not to give in.
Nicky stripped his clothes off in record time and made straight for Kian’s
balls which he took one of in his mouth and sucked making Kian jump and grunt.
Nicky knew Kian was trying to tease him but he would make him pay. Kian opened
himself up more as Nicky continued his assault on his balls. Seeing his
opportunity Nicky slipped a finger under Kian and rubbed it around his
entrance. “Nicky” Kian warned but knew he didn’t stand a chance as he had
started this. Nicky pushed his finger into Kian’s entrance loving the feeling
of resistance it was given before the inevitable entrance it gained. Still
licking and sucking at Kian’s ball’s Nicky thrust is finger in and out of Kian,
adding a second when he was ready. Kian started to rock on Nicky’s fingers, his
talent at giving him a new sensation never failing to amaze him.
Then it was gone and Kian moaned in frustration. His cock felt fit to burst
without Nicky touching it. Nicky knew he had Kian where he wanted him – wanton
with desire but he hadn’t finished yet on his payback. Sliding up Kian’s body
ensuring he made as much contact with hi cock as possible and of course giving
his own cock the much needed friction Nicky kissed Kian hard. “Bastard” Kian
whispered as Nicky rubbed their two bodies together causing a friction that
made Kian’s mind go into overdrive.
Nicky knew he was getting close and Kian also so he would have to either do
something to stop them both coming right there and then or get it over with.
Looking at Kian he knew he should get on with it so he moved his body up and
took hold of Kian’s cock. It was all Kian could do not to come on the spot as
he saw Nicky position himself unprepared over his cock.
“Nicky you’re not…aaargh” Kian moaned as Nicky didn’t
give him time to argue. Kian saw Nicky wince but quickly start to pump himself
on Kian’s cock. Taking hold of Kian’s cock Nicky pumped him fast too and soon
they both exploded trying not to yell each others name.
Nicky moved off if Kian’s now limp cock and lay gently
down beside him, pulling the covers over them. Kian pulled Nicky close, kissing
him softly. “You didn’t need to do that.” Kian whispered as he saw Nicky’s eyes
closing. “I know but I wanted to.” Nicky mumbled before sleep finally overtook
him. Kian was soon starting to fall asleep too.
In the other room Mark had heard the noise Kian and Nicky were making and tears
began to fall again. He was being a burden on his friends and he wished he
could have someone to love him like Nicky loved Kian. Mark tried to keep the sobs
quiet but Kian could hear him. Slipping quietly out of bed and grabbing his
boxers Kian went into their bathroom and cleaned himself
up and went over to see Mark.
Mark heard the door go and saw Kian there in just his boxers looking tired.
“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you.” Mark managed to say in-between sobs. “SSSh” Kian replied as he sat down next to Mark. “Will you
stay with me?” Mark asked. “Of course” Kian replied slipping in bed beside Mark
and pulling him into a hug.
Nicky turned over and felt the bed empty. Hearing quiet voices he knew where
Kian was and couldn’t help but be a little jealous.
Eventually
Nicky managed to fall asleep but the green-eyed monster inside of him wasn't
going to be put down to rest that easily. Nicky's dreams were haunted by
images of Kian and Mark cuddling, kissing, even making love and he had
nightmares about Kian breaking up with him. In short Nicky's night was
far from restful and waking up to an empty bed as Kian was still in the guest
room with Mark didn't help matters at all.
Making some tea Nicky decided he didn't want to have breakfast on his own so
taking three mugs he filled them with the tea and walked into the guest room
only to find Kian cuddled up to Mark. The green-eyed monster in his chest
roared and he slammed the mugs of tea down, only just managing to get them on
the bedside cabinet far enough for them not to fall down. He then charged
out, almost running down the stairs. Kian, who had woken up from the
noise, called after him but Nicky didn't stop. He was in his car by
the time Kian made it down the stairs and drove off with screeching tyres just
as Kian reached the front door.
"Nicky!" Kian called after the speeding car but it didn't help, Nicky
didn't turn back.
Meanwhile Mark had woken up and appeared at the top of the stairs:
"Ki? What's going on?"
Kian pushed the door shut and sank down onto the floor, not noticing Mark
coming down the stairs until he felt a hand softly wiping away the tears that
had formed. Looking up into his friend's deep blue eyes he felt tears
welling in his eyes again and couldn't hold Mark's stare. Mark gathered
Kian in his arms and carried him to the living room, sitting him down on the
sofa. After a few moments of silence Kian suddenly sobbed: "I can't
lose him, Mark. I need him."
"Sorry? What are you talking about, mate?"
"Nicky. He walked out... I can't lose him, Mark, I'm so
scared."
"I'm sure he'll be back," Mark tried to reassure his friend, feeling
the guilt niggling at the back of his mind as he had an idea why Nicky might
have run - the mugs on the bedside table being a major clue. "Look,
maybe I should head home, it mightn't be the best idea
for me to be here when he comes back."
"No don't go - don't leave me on my own. Please Mark."
Mark couldn't ignore the plea in Kian's voice and just held him, comforting his
friend as Kian had done for him the night before.
Nicky
didn’t even know where he was going or why he hadn’t stopped to pick up any
clothes or anything. All he had was his wallet and mobile with him. He needed
time to think but the driving was made more difficult by the tears falling down
his face. All Nicky could think about was how comfortable Kian and Mark looked
together and how he was a spare part and not needed. Nicky didn’t want to
believe there was anything going on between Kian and Mark but it looked like
there was from what he’d seen over the past day.
Nicky drove for about an hour and his car ended up outside an old friend’s
house. Tom had been a good friend when his parent had kicked him out and so he
got out and knocked on the door cursing as it was so early. Tom answered the
door half awake and dressed only in boxers and t-shirt.
“Nicky?” Tom started as his eyes focused on the early visitor. “You look like shite.”
“Thanks Tom and hello to you too. Can I come in I need a favour?” Nicky replied.
“Sure Nicky just let me tell Anne who’s woken the house up.” Tom said and
ushered Nicky into a nearby room as he went back upstairs. Nicky heard what
sounded like kids voices and cursed again he shouldn’t have come.
Soon Tom was back downstairs and sat next to Nicky.
“So what happened?”
Nicky apologized for disturbing him and his family and started telling Tom
about Kian, his football career and Mark and the recent events, sobbing every
now and again. When he had finished he let out a deep sigh. “I just don’t know
what to do.” Nicky finally said.
“Look Nicky it sounds to me like Kian loves you to bits so why are you so
worried about Mark?”
“He’s known Mark for a long time and I’m sure there’s history between them even
though both say not.”
“So I’ve known you years Nicky doesn’t mean I wanna jump into bed with ya. It sounds like you’re just blowing things out of
proportion. Mark’s going through a rough time and he’s only got Kian he can
count on.”
Nicky knew deep down Tom was right but it didn’t stop it hurting to see them
together more than he was with Kian.
“Look Nicky I bet Kian is going spare at home so give him a call so he know
you’re still alive.” Nicky shook his head. “Nicky if you don’t I’m not letting
you stay here.” Tom knew it was a touch of blackmail and he wouldn’t really
kick him out but he knew Nicky had to call Kian.
“Okay” Nicky said and pulled out his mobile, selecting the familiar number he dialed.
Mark was still trying to comfort Kian when his mobile rang. Kian shuffled away
from Mark and tried to calm himself fearing the worse had happened after the
way Nicky had left. When he saw Nicky’s name he quickly answered.
“Nicky are you okay?”
“Not really Kian but I’m not hurt if that’s what you mean.”
Kian could tell Nicky was hurting by the sound of his voice. “I want you home
Nicky.” He said simply.
“I will be in a bit I just can’t come home right now.” Noises in the background
told Kian Nicky wasn’t alone.
“Why leave Nicky?” Kian sobbed unable to stop the tears partly of relief now
from flowing. “Why didn’t you talk to me? You know whatever is bothering you we
can talk about it.”
“I know” Nicky started sadly knowing Kian was hurting as much as he was. “Just
give me some time please Kian. I promise I’ll be home for tea.”
“Okay I love you Nicky don’t ever forget that.”
Nicky ended the call now unable to speak for the tears. Tom rubbed his friends
back. “Now let’s get you sorted so you look at least half way presentable for
your boyfriend.” Nicky had to smile.
“I really am sorry Tom I can just go if you want.”
“Wouldn’t hear of it Nicky.”
Back at home Mark hugged his friend. “He’s okay then?” Kian nodded. “I’m sorry
Kian I can’t help but think this is all my fault.”
"How
would it be your fault, Mark? You haven't done anything to send him
running, you were still asleep," Kian asked confused.
"I think I know why he ran, Ki, and it's my fault. I shouldn't have
asked you to stay with me last night, I can't do anything right recently!
I don't want to come between the two of you, Kian,
maybe I should just go and leave you both in peace."
"No you don't. Mark, please, don't take all
this so hard. It's not your fault, you asked but I could have
said no. Don't blame yourself for not wanting to be alone, it was just as much my fault."
"But you wouldn't have stayed if I hadn't asked - you wouldn't have asked
me to stay the night here if I hadn't asked you over yesterday..."
"And you wouldn't have done that if your dad hadn't died," Kian
interrupted. "And that was no one's fault."
"No but it is my fault I couldn't do one last thing for him when it
mattered most. My aunt was right, I'm a complete failure, I can't do
anything right."
That was the final drop for Kian: "Right, upstairs to the music room
NOW! You're going to sing that song for your dad, Mark, one way or
another!"
Mark didn't dare to protest and quickly made his way up the stairs. Kian
didn't follow him straight away though, giving Mark a few minutes alone while
he tried to ring Nicky's mobile. Not surprisingly Nicky didn't answer, he
had said he needed some time but when the voicemail came on Kian spoke into his
phone: "Nick, it's me. Just wondering when you'll be home so I can
get dinner ready. Let me know. Love you." He then
followed Mark up the stairs, finding the taller lad looking through some of his
piano books as he sat on the sofabed.
"Hey," Kian spoke softly, not wanting to startle Mark as he sat down
next to him. "What are you looking for?"
"My dad's song. Frank Sinatra, My Way."
"I know it by heart, don't worry. My mum loves it," Kian tried
to put his mind to ease but it didn't help.
"Ki, you don't understand. I need to know the lyrics."
"Look, you know we've internet downstairs, we'll just look it up, don't
worry about it. It'll be fine," Kian soothed as Mark seemed to be
going into a hysterical "I can't do this"-fit again. "Shh, it'll be alright," he whispered as he wrapped his
arms around Mark as tears once again started streaming down the taller lad's
face. They sat there in silence for a while until Mark's tears subsided,
Kian never letting off in trying to calm his friend down, assuring him it'd all
be alright. Eventually Kian spoke up: "How about we just leave
this for a bit? It's past lunchtime already, I
think we both could do with some food right now." Mark just nodded,
wiping away the last few tears. After lunch they both sat down in front
of the television, neither lad really watching as they both had other things on
their mind.
"Kian, is something wrong with me?" Mark suddenly spoke out of the
blue.
"Of course not, what gave you that idea? You're a great guy, mate,
there's absolutely nothing wrong with you."
"Then why do only bastards seem to want to be with me? Do I have
IDIOT stamped on my forehead?" Mark asked, a shiver in his voice betraying
his emotions.
"Mark, you'll find someone. Someone just as great as you are who
actually deserves to be with you. Just promise me one thing - don't
settle for less than YOU deserve!"
A disbelieving look on Mark's face was the first clue to what his reaction
would be, then he spoke up: "Less than I deserve? Anyone's better
than I deserve, I'm worthless and that's why I get treated like that."
"Look, the only problem you have is low self-esteem,
you're such a special person. If only you'd learn to believe me, I've
seen you grow so much over the years but you never seem to listen when I tell
you that."
Mark just shrugged: "People put you down enough, you start to believe
it."
"And I'm sorry I didn't stop that back at Summerhill.
But we can't turn back time, Mark, as much as we'd like to. You just have
to trust the future will be better."
"And what if I can't?"
"You can. Just stop worrying so much."
Mark just nodded and stayed silent, his gaze landing on the TV screen again as
he pretended to watch whatever was on. Kian knew he couldn't press Mark
any further at this point, he could only pray Mark would find someone soon and
count the minutes until Nicky got home.
Nicky
was feeling really guilty as he heard Tom rearranging the plans he had made to
take the family out for the day.
“Why don’t you still go out Tom? The kids look really disappointed.”
“Hey Nicky I can take them next weekend it isn’t a problem but they are going
out to the park instead so how about you come along?”
Nicky shrugged. “I suppose so but can I get freshened up first?”
By the time the rest of the family was ready Nicky was down again looking
sheepishly at Anne. The kids bounded over and took Nicky’s hands leading him
out of the door and he couldn’t help but smile. Soon they were all in the park
and heading towards the kid’s area. Nicky decided to have a wander and told Tom
he’d be back in a bit and Tom nodded. As Nicky wandered around he heard his
mobile go and saw it was Kian so left it not feeling he could talk to him yet.
After walking for a bit he listened to Kian’s message and sent him a text to
say he’d be home 6:30pm.
Kian heard his mobile beep and checked it. Seeing it was from Nicky made him
feel a bit relieved and the fact he had given a time made him feel sure he
would be back. After reading the message Kian went over to his laptop and found
the lyrics for My Way and printed them off for Mark.
The afternoon went quickly for Nicky as he got dragged into the games with the
kids and he could almost forget his troubles but they were still at the back of
his mind. He hadn’t a clue what he was going to say to Kian when he got home.
By the time they all got back to Tom’s it was after 5 and the kids were moaning
about being hungry. Tom asked if Nicky was staying for tea but he said he would
be heading home and thanks for today. Whilst Anne started on food Tom saw Nicky
out.
“You know you can come back anytime Nicky but a phone call would be nice
first.” Tom said seeing how worried Nicky looked. “And just be honest with Kian
I’m sure he’ll understand. I’m also sure you’re just reading too much into the
situation.”
“I hope you’re right Tom and thanks for today. You’re kids are great for making
you forget your troubles for a while.”
Nicky got in his car and drove around for a short while before ending up back
in front of the familiar door. It was just before 6:30 but he just locked up
the car and went to the door. Kian had heard a car pull up outside and held his
breath until he heard the door going. Mark was still in front of the TV looking
blankly at the screen.
Nicky heard activity in the kitchen and headed straight there knowing it would
be Kian making dinner. As he passed the living room he saw the TV on and a
figure slumped on the sofa watching it. Nicky entered the kitchen and
Kian had his back to him so he went over but before he could tap Kian on the
shoulder he turned. Nicky could see how hurt he was and lowered his gaze.
“Where have you been?” Kian asked the worry evident in his voice.
“I went to see Tom and old mate.” Nicky said simply.
“I don’t understand why you were so upset Nicky I just…” Kian stopped as Nicky
put a finger over his lips making him shiver.
“Not now Kian lets just have something to eat and I’ll try and explain after.”
Nicky said looking at Kian hopefully.
Mark heard the voices in the kitchen and went to say hi but when he saw Nicky
with a finger over Kian’s lips he went back into the room to wait for them to
come in. It wasn’t long before Nicky and Kian came in with the food and put it
on the table. Mark went up to join them looking guilty. Nicky could see Mark
felt bad too and that made him feel worse, perhaps Tom was right and he had
just blown things out of all proportion he just didn’t know anymore.
Dinner was quiet as no one seemed to know what to say. After they had finished
Mark said he would sort out the kitchen and leave them to talk. Kian nodded and
smiled as thanks to Mark. Nicky and Kian got up and went over to the sofa and
sat down. Kian was going to switch off the TV but Nicky spoke “Leave it
please.” Kian nodded and put the remote back on the table.
Nicky still wasn’t sure where to begin or what to say and ended up sitting
there fidgeting for a while. Kian put a hand on Nicky’s to try and reassure
him. “Nicky just tell me what you’re thinking however bad it sounds.”
Mark had finished in the kitchen and was just coming in to collect the lyrics
and go to the music room when Nicky blurted out. “Are you having an affair with
Mark?” Mark and Kian both gasped. This was what Mark had guessed Nicky was
feeling but it was still hard hearing him say it. Nicky looked at Mark as he
stood rooted to the spot.
Kian looked at Mark and then at Nicky. “Why would you think that?”
“You’re spending more time with him than me for a start” Nicky said in an
almost childlike voice. “Mark seems to only be comforted by you and I’m his
friend too but he seems to want me to stay clear of him most of the time. You
seem very keen on him staying here and helping him all the time.” Once he had
started it all just seemed to spill out of Nicky as the tears rolled down his
face.
Kian looked at Mark as he pulled Nicky to him. “I know you don’t want to go
anywhere Mark but perhaps you could just go to the pub down the road for a bit.
I think they have an open mic there you could check
it out and tell us what it’s like.”
Mark was going to say no but he saw the almost pleading look in Kian’s eyes.
“Okay but just for an hour.” Mark said and disappeared off to get ready. When
he came back down Kian was still holding Nicky who was still sobbing. “I’ll see
you in a bit then” Mark said as he passed.
“You’d better take my door key off the table there” Kian shouted as Mark headed
to the door. Kian put a finger under Nicky’s chin to look into his eyes. He
could see that Nicky really thought all those things he had said were true.
“What am I going to do with you Nicky? I love you and want to be with you so
why would I have an affair with anyone?”
“But you and Mark” Nicky started but Kian interrupted him. “Me
and Mark go back a long way yes but I have never fancied him and I’m fairly
sure he’s never fancied me. He’s more like a brother and you always look out
for family. And as far as Mark not wanting you near him can you blame him after
you suggested a threesome to him? He just isn’t sure how to take you Nicky
that’s all. I know he cares for you so what is really behind all this?”
Nicky held Kian tightly. “I feel so lost when you’re not there now. I can’t
imagine life without you and I suppose I’m just jealous of Mark getting all the
attention and not me.” Nicky said blushing. Kian laughed softly as it was rare
for Nicky to blush.
“You really are a snob sometimes Nicky. I know you’re used to being in the
spotlight but all of us need some space every now and again. We have to help
Mark with his song now as it’s important for him to do this to get over his
grief. So as long as you don’t forget that I love only you can we move on and
put this behind us?” With that Kian placed a gentle kiss on Nicky’s lips and
Nicky responded eagerly.
“I love you so much Kian” Nicky whispered.
“Well you can show me how much later.” Kian replied kissing Nicky once more.
As
Mark walked down the road to the pub Kian had pointed out he couldn't help feeling
guilty. He had been right in thinking Nicky felt left out and he didn't
want to come between his two friends. He couldn't be responsible for them
breaking up, not after all it had cost Kian to allow Nicky in his heart and to
come out. Preoccupied as he was Mark wasn't quite looking where he was
going and bumped into a tall, broad-shouldered lad who was just walking out of
the pub to smoke. Mark nearly lost his balance but a strong hand
grabbed his arm and kept him on his feet, then a deep voice asked: "Are
you alright?"
Mark found himself unable to speak as his own deep-blue eyes met the other
man's clear-blue pair. He also felt those strong hands holding him just
that tad longer than strictly necessary - or was that just wishful
thinking? "Look, I'm sorry, I should have watched where I was
going," the man with the deep voice spoke up again, "let me buy you a
drink to make up for it." Mark just nodded and let the other man
lead him inside to a table in the corner. "Guinness?" the deep
voice made itself heard above the music and Mark nodded, not believing his luck
when the man ran a large hand over his cheek affectionately. Did Kian
forget to tell him it was a gay bar or was this lad just one of the type that flirted with anything that had two legs?
Alternatively Mark's luck had just turned and he might have found someone but
he didn't dare to believe that yet.
"So you here to perform?" the lad asked as he returned with two
pints, pulling Mark out of his thoughts.
"Eh... Ehm, no, just wanted to check it
out, see what this open mic-thing was all
about..."
"Ah go on, it'll be a laugh," the man grinned but Mark wasn't so sure
and muttered something along the lines of: "Yeah that's what I'm afraid
of."
"Stage fright?" the other lad asked as he saw the downcast look on
Mark's face at his suggestion.
"That obvious huh? Brilliant, I really needed to know THAT!"
Mark rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his pint. Great that was, he wasn't
even able to hide something small like that, why not shout out to the whole
world what a failure he was! Tears welled in Mark's eyes at the thought,
he quickly wiped them away but it was too late, the man had already spotted
them.
"Shh, it's alright," he hushed, glad they
were in a darker corner as he knew no one would pay attention to them.
"Listen, I used to have stage fright, I know very well how you're feeling
now."
"But you're performing here tonight, are you not?" Mark asked
incredulously, to which the other man nodded: "I am. You can get
over stage fright, you just have to find it in you to
believe in yourself."
"And if I can't?"
"That's exactly what I used to say. Honestly, I know it seems
impossible now but you'll manage. Anyway, I'm up after this so do you
want another pint before I hit the stage?"
"Please. Oh what's your name anyway?" Mark asked.
"Brian. You?"
"Mark."
"OK nice to meet you Mark. Anyway, same as before?" Brian asked
just to double-check and Mark nodded. With that Brian made his way to the
bar, Mark's eyes following him as he towered above most of the crowd.
Being over 6 ft tall was definitely an advantage for some things. As
he reached the bar Brian looked over his shoulder, catching Mark's gaze which
sent the slightly younger lad blushing and looking down. Brian just
smiled at Mark's shyness, he found it sweet rather
than embarrassing how innocent the lad seemed to be. "Pat, two pints
and can you hand me my guitar please, I'm up after this," he asked the
bartender.
"Sure but doesn't your friend want anything then?" Patrick the
bartender joked, knowing full well the second pint was meant for the
stranger. Brian just stuck his tongue out at him when receiving
the drinks and his instrument and made his way back to Mark.
"You play the guitar?" Mark asked as he saw his new-found friend
return with the instrument hanging from his shoulder and the two pints in his
hands.
"Yeah - I'm not going up there singing a cappella, the few people who do
that are either very brave or very stupid." Just then Brian's name
was called so he didn't catch Mark muttering: "Yeah brill, and what about people
who don't play any instruments?"
"Good evening everyone!" Brian shouted into the microphone as he
jumped up on stage. "How are you all feeling tonight?"
Getting cheers from the crowd he continued: "I hope you all like Bon Jovi?!" The cheers got louder and Brian's grin
grew: "Good cuz tonight I've two Bon Jovi songs lined up for ye's,
how's that?" More cheering was his answer and he grinned:
"That's great. Let's start with It's My
Life then shall we?" With that he started to sing:
"This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a
face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud
It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life
This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky
Got to make your own breaks
It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life
Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down
It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live
forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live
forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life!"
The crowd cheered loudly as Brian finished his song, making his grin spread
even further if that was even possible. "So who's up for another
one?!" He shouted into the mic. Getting
cheers from the crowd once more he signalled for them to quieten down a bit and
spoke: "This song is one of my personal favourites. Years ago I used
to get bullied and didn't dare speak up, never even mind come
up here on stage. This song is perfect to illustrate the
change I've gone through, I hope it inspires you all" - he let his eyes
rest on Mark for a moment - "to find the strength to speak up. Here's
Everyday!
I used to be the kind of guy
Who'd never let you look inside
I'd smile when I was crying
I had nothing but a life to loose
Thought I had a lot to proof
In my life, there's no denying
Goodbye to all my yesterdays
Goodbye, so long, I'm on my way
I've had enough of cryin'
Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'
Hear me when I say
Gonna live my life everyday
I'm gonna touch the sky
And I spread these wings and fly
I ain't here to play
I'm gonna live my life everyday
Change, everybody's feeling strange
Never gonna be the same
Makes you wonder how the world keeps turning
Life, learning how to live my life
Learning how to pick my fights
Take my shots while I'm still burning
Goodbye to all those rainy nights
Goodbye, so long, I'm moving on
I've had enough of cryin'
Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'
Hear me when I say
Gonna live my life everyday
I'm gonna touch the sky
And I spread these wings and fly
I ain't here to play
I'm gonna live my life everyday
There ain't nothing gonna
get in my way
Everyday
Goodbye, so long, I'm moving on
I've had enough of cryin'
Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'
Hear me when I say
Gonna live my life everyday
I'm gonna touch the sky
And I spread these wings and fly
I ain't here to play
I'm gonna live my life everyday
I, oh I, oh I, I'm gonna live my life everyday
I (gonna touch the sky), oh I (spread these wings and
fly), oh I
I'm gonna live my life everyday"
As he wiped the sweat from his forehead he thanked his audience and jumped
offstage to get back to Mark. "God I love performing but it's so exhausting!"
he sighed as he let himself fall onto the very comfortable couch next to Mark.
"What are you gonna do if you ever break
through?" Mark laughed. "90 minute concerts!"
"I'd seriously have to start working on my stamina!" Brian laughed
along. "Anyway I'm hungry now, we can just make it to McDonald's
before it closes, I work there so I get free
food."
"I don't know. I was thinking of heading back really, I'm staying
with friends so it wouldn't be too good to stay out for ages plus I'm supposed
to be working tomorrow," Mark hesitated.
"Ah come on, just a burger, you can still head home after.
Please?" Brian pleaded, throwing puppy dog eyes into the equation,
making Mark give in: "OK but I'm heading back straight after!"
Just as they went outside Mark's mobile beeped, signalling a message which
turned out to be from Kian: "Hey. Just wondering when you'll be back.
Kian"
"Boyfriend?" Brian asked.
Mark shook his head: "Friend. Why did you think boyfriend
anyway?"
"Don't be offended, please. I thought you were gay."
"That obvious huh?"
"Only 'cause I am too. As they say, takes one to know one. So
you are?" Mark nodded. "Single?"
"Why do you wanna know?" Mark asked
"I like you. I won't break up any relationship though so if you do
have a boyfriend, tell me now," Brian explained. "I know too
well what it feels like to find out your lover's cheating on you."
"Yeah, so do I. And no I don't have a
boyfriend but Brian, please don't take this the wrong way but I really don't
want to be rushing into a relationship right now. Is that OK?"
"Sure. So what do you want to eat anyway?" Brian changed the
subject as they reached McDonald's.
Back
at the house Nicky flipped through the channels to see what was on and stopped
when he noticed the last Star Wars movie was just coming on. Kian had to laugh
as he remembered they had gone to see that at the cinema when it first came
out. Nicky snuggled into Kian’s side and settled to watch the film. In the
breaks they kissed softly as if it was their first date again. Kian stroked
down Nicky’s back and they just savoured each other company without anything
getting too heavy.
Halfway through the film Nicky got up and came back with some beers and snacks
and dumped then on the table in front of them. “Do you remember the first time
we saw this?” Nicky asked, kissing Kian softly on the lips as he sat down and made
himself comfortable. “Of course I do and was thinking about that too.” Kian
replied kissing Nicky on the forehead.
The time just seemed to slip away and before long the film was finishing and
Kian looked at his watch noticing that Mark had been gone a while now. Nicky
noticed Kian’s action and could see the concern and he did feel awful that Mark
had heard his accusations earlier. “I’m sure he’s fine.” Nicky commented. “I
know but I’ll just send him a text and we can sort out that question of you showing
me how much you love me.” Kian replied his voice sounding a lot hoarser than
before. “Are you sure you can wait that long?” Nicky whispered in Kian’s ear as
he tried to send a text to Mark. Nicky was trying to distract him by rubbing
his fingers gently over his now hardening groin.
Nicky cleared away the bottles while Kian switched off the TV, leaving the
light on though for when Mark came in. As Nicky came back into the room Kian
heard his phone beep and saw it was from Mark. “Sorry
got chatting to someone in pub am off for a quick McD
then coming home Mark.” Nicky had been reading the text over Kian’s shoulder.
“See he’s fine and sounds like he may have made a new friend.” “Well we’ll have
to find out in the morning” Kian said taking Nicky’s hand and leading him
towards their bedroom.
Once they had got upstairs and into the bedroom Nicky closed the door and
kissed Kian softly on the lips. “I love you so much Kian so now you have to
just relax and let me show you just what you mean to me.”
“Whatever you say” Kian whispered kissing Nicky just behind the ear making him
shiver.
Nicky got Kian to sit on the end of the bed and slowly stripped his clothes off
until he was stood there naked in front of Kian. Kian licked his lips as he saw
how aroused his boyfriend was and gasped as he saw Nicky take hold of his cock
and pump it slowly a couple of times. Kian’s eyes went to Nicky’s and he could
see how dark they were as they watched him. Kian wanted so much to leap up and
shag Nicky right there and then but managed to keep his place even if he was
squirming now as his jeans tightened.
Nicky knew he was teasing Kian but it was all about giving Kian as much
pleasure as he could. Nicky could see Kian was struggling and so he moved
towards him, his cock coming to rest not far from Kian’s lips. “Do you want
it?” Nicky whispered and all Kian could do was nod. Gently Nicky moved forward
and Kian opened his mouth to accept his prize. His tongue looped around the tip
of Nicky’s cock and he could see Nicky found it hard to stay upright. Teasingly
Kian licked up and around Nicky’s cock and finally sucked just the tip into his
mouth. “Oh god Kian how did you learn that?” Nicky gasped as he pulled his cock
away again. “I had a good teacher.” Kian laughed in reply.
Nicky stepped back to gain a bit of control again and offered Kian a hand. Kian
stood taking the offered hand and waited for Nicky’s next move which was to
remove Kian’s clothes as slowly as he had removed his own. Kian grunted as
Nicky finally removed his boxers letting his throbbing cock free from its
restraints. Taking Kian hand Nicky moved around the bed and threw the covers
off so they could lay down. Then after getting Kian to
lie down Nicky straddled Kian’s body but tried not to touch him apart from
resting his hands on Kian’s shoulders and kissing his lips.
“Where should I kiss you?” Nicky asked. Kian pointed to his forehead and Nicky
kissed it, then his nose, then his cheek, then his neck. Nicky kissed each in
turn and waited for the next instruction. Kian pointed at a nipple and Nicky
couldn’t help but nibble and suck it before kissing it making Kian squirm as he
tried to point to the other one. Nicky repeated the action on that nipple and
it was taking a lot for Kian not to come right on the spot. If he had told Nicky
he wanted to be shown how much he loved him Nicky was certainly doing that.
Kian ran a finger along his cock making him groan at his own touch. Nicky
licked Kian’s length and then placed feather light kisses along it until Kian
moaned loudly. “Make love to me Nicky now Nicky or give me your cock to suck
because I can’t take any more of this.”
Nicky moved over Kian’s face and allowed him to take his cock into his mouth.
Kian sucked on Nicky’s cock as Nicky moved slowly in and out of his mouth. “God
Kian don’t ever leave me” Nicky gasped. Kian moved a
hand behind Nicky and found his entrance and started rubbing gently until he
felt it give and allow him access. Pushing a finger and then two into Kian
worked him until it was too much for Nicky and he came hard in Kian’s mouth
almost choking him.
Nicky’s mind was racing as Kian continued to work move his fingers inside him
as he pulled his cock from Kian’s mouth. “I’m not going to leave you Nicky not
for anyone and don’t you ever forget that.” Kian gasped still trying to recover
from the strength of Nicky’s orgasm in his mouth. Nicky rocked on Kian’s
fingers and could feel himself getting hard again.
Pulling away so that Kian could no longer reach Nicky moved backwards, taking
hold of Kian’s cock and lining it up with his entrance before sitting down on
it. Kian moaned as he felt Nicky surround him before Nicky leaned forward and
kissed Kian hard.
“I wish I could stay like this forever” Nicky whimpered as he started to move
on Kian’s cock. “Me too” sighed Kian loving the feel of Nicky rocking on him
like that. Nicky kept the pace somewhere between slow and fast to make it last
as long as possible, occasionally leaning down and kissing Kian. Kian could see
Nicky was hard and went to take his cock put Nicky whispered “No.” Kian was
getting close and he felt like his whole body was going to explode. It never
ceased to amaze him how Nicky could take him to new heights even now. A few
more movements and Kian came hard and was amazed how shortly after Nicky came
again over Kian’s chest without being touched at all.
Nicky gasped for breath feeling on a high like never before. He got off Kian
and offered him his hand. “I want to clean you up now before we go to sleep.”
Kian could see Nicky was feeling weak from his efforts but nodded and let himself be lead into the bathroom and they both washed in
the shower. Kissing and caressing one another but it seemed like it didn’t
arouse them as much as before as they were both feeling the effects of their
lovemaking session.
As they got out of the shower the heard the door go knowing it must be Mark but
neither having the energy to check for certain. They just got dried and went
back to bed, snuggling up to one another and closing their eyes.
The
next morning as Kian and Nicky were having breakfast Kian asked: "You
think he's alright?"
A toilet flushed and Nicky shrugged: "We'll know soon enough."
It turned out he was right as just then Mark walked into the kitchen: "To
all a good morning and good morning to all!"
Nicky laughed and Kian looked confused: "Mark, do you realise it's not 11
am yet? You're not a morning person normally."
"Ah but Kian it's not every morning I'm woken by a text from the most
gorgeous man in
"Glad you enjoyed your night then," Nicky smiled at his tall friend.
"I did. So are you both OK now? I mean,
all that happened yesterday - I really don't want to come between the two of
you."
"Don't worry Mark, you won't," Nicky smiled, taking Kian's hand and
placing a kiss on it. "It was all just a big misunderstanding, I
just overreacted. Honestly, we're fine now, I'm sorry I said those
things. I'm sorry I made you feel guilty for my mistake. Anyway,
all's well that ends well and if it wasn't for our little spat yesterday you
mightn't have met this mystery lad who seems to make you so happy. So why
don't you tell us a bit more about him?"
"What's there to tell?" Mark grinned, knowing Nicky was dying with
badly conceiled curiosity. As Nicky threw him a
nasty look he shrugged, pretending to be indifferent about it: "Alright,
if you really want to know. His name's Brian, he was performing at the
open mic thing. He has a job as a bouncer at
McDonalds, I'm meeting him there after work -"
At that point Kian interrupted: "You going back to work already?"
"Yeah," Mark shrugged. "They told me I could have whatever
time I needed but to come back when in
"Ki don't interrupt, I want to know more about this Brian!" Nicky
exclaimed impatiently.
"There's not much else to tell. He bought me a few drinks, we
talked, he had his turn onstage - by the way, Kian, he likes Bon Jovi too so I'm sure you'd have at least one thing to talk
about - and then we went for a McDonalds and he brought me home." A
disapproving look from Kian made Mark roll his eyes: "I just mean he
dropped me off as he took a taxi home, he doesn't drink and drive!"
"So you're meeting him again after work then? What's the plan for tonight, you wanna stay here again or go home?" Nicky
asked the question he knew was going through Kian's mind, despite the fact that
there was nothing going on between Mark and Kian he knew his boyfriend did care
for the tall brunette and didn't want him to be alone when he was upset like he
had been but Mark seemed to be feeling better now thanks to this mystery man
named Brian. Maybe a bit of time alone could do Kian and Nicky's
relationship the world of good but friends were important too.
"I don't know yet, I might go home but I don't know,
can I just ring you tonight about that?" Mark asked, suddenly remembering
just why he was staying with his friends. He knew as well as anyone that
Kian and Nicky could do with some time alone but despite that he didn't want to
be on his own just yet. Ever since his dad died he couldn't
stand being alone - he knew he would have to get used to it sooner or
later but he'd rather delay that as long as he could - then again he mightn't
need Kian and Nicky's company if things with Brian went well. He didn't
dare to pin his hopes on that yet though, after all he
had only just met the tall Dubliner. "Would that be alright
then?" he added, hoping Kian and Nicky would agree.
"Of course," Kian put a hand on his friend's shoulder.
"You're always welcome here, Mark. Just let us know either way so we
don't have to worry about you." Mark leant into the touch for a
split second and Nicky closed his eyes as a pang of jealousy ripped through him
once more. Mark never noticed it but as soon as he had finished his tea
and left the house Kian went to stand behind Nicky, softly massaging his
boyfriend's shoulders: "You still find it hard, don't you? Mark and
I being so close. But you know he's my best friend, Nick, I can't leave
him when he's hurting."
"I know," Nicky sighed. "You're such a caring person, Ki,
I just can't help being jealous it seems. I love you so much Kian, I'd
hate to lose you."
"You won't get rid of me that easily, babe," Kian placed a kiss on
his lover's blond hair. "I love YOU, Nicky, and no one else!"
Nicky nodded: "I know. I just can't help feeling this way."
"I know that," Kian reassured him. "And we'll work on it
together, OK? Just don't run away like yesterday anymore, anything you
have on your mind we'll just talk it through together."
Nicky just nodded and let Kian wrap his arm around him. They stayed
like that for a little while until Kian reluctantly let go: "As nice as
this is, we should get ready for work."
"I'm not in 'til after noon on Mondays remember. Can't you get the
morning off?"
"Maybe. Louis does owe me for two weekends ago, the least he can do
is give me half a day off - I'll call him now. You get back in bed love, you seem a bit tired still..."
"Join me later?"
"If I get the time off I will!" Kian smiled, then
walked into the living room to find his phone.
Meanwhile Mark had managed to pick his stuff up at the flat and reached the
school where he was told the schedule had changed and his replacement
wouldn't be in until after lunch. He didn't want to go back to his flat
and Nicky and Kian's place wasn't an option as he didn't know when they
were working exactly. Disappointed as he was once again all alone he sat
down on the low wall marking the school's entrance.
Suddenly a thought crossed his mind and he smiled to himself as he went through
his contacts list. An already familiar name popped onto the screen and he
quickly pressed dial: "Hey Brian, I didn't wake you, did I?... Good. Say, do you want to meet me for
breakfast somewhere? I've some unexpected time off... Great, I'll
meet you there! See you in 15 then... OK, half an hour then.
See ye."
Smiling to himself he walked down the road, he wasn't in a rush anyway and the
sun was shining so he might as well enjoy it while it lasted. What a
difference it made just to know someone likes you, he thought, picking a small
flower that was growing on the side of the road. What a difference
indeed... He smiled and took in the fresh air, glad he didn't give up on
life after all when his dad died.
Kian
came off the phone five minutes later and he wasn’t happy. He had done his best
to get the morning off but Louis wasn’t having it as he had some new clients
coming in and wanted Kian there. Kian went upstairs and found Nicky already
almost asleep. Kian kissed his head. “I’ll see ya
later Nicky, Louis needs me in work.” Nicky pouted but could see Kian was as
disappointed as he was. “How about you meet me for lunch before you start?”
“Okay see ya in a bit.”
By the time Kian was ready Nicky was asleep so Kian kissed him on the head and
headed for work. A couple of hours later Nicky woke up and turned over to see
the empty bed and remembered the earlier conversation. Stretching Nicky reached
over and found he had a text message on his phone. “Didn’t want to wake you.
Meet you at The Priory at 12 love Kian xx.” Nicky smiled and thought he still
had loads of time before he had to meet Kian. Picking up his mobile Nicky sent
a text to Mark. “Hey Mark what are you up to? I’ve got some free time if you
want to meet up.”
Across town Mark was almost at the spot he was meeting Brian when he heard his
mobile beep and seeing the message he smiled. “Hey Nicky bored are you? I’m
meeting up with Brian at that café near the Liffey if
you want to come.”
Nicky had just stripped ready for a shower when his mobile beeped. He read the
message and wondered if he should intrude but he was curious to see the man
that had put a spark back into Mark’s eyes so he sent a text back. “Okay see you in half an hour.” Nicky went into the shower and
quickly got washed and dressed. He had a good idea where Mark was and knew it
was not far from where he was meeting Kian so it would work out fine.
Before starting the car Nicky sent a quick text to Kian. “Am meeting Mark and
his mystery man will tell you about it when I see ya
xxx.” Kian had just sat down for a mid morning break and heard his mobile beep.
He had a fair idea who it was from and had to laugh when he read it. Kian knew
Nicky wouldn’t be able to resist a chance to see Brian when he could. He
just hoped Nicky wouldn’t put his foot in it between Mark and Brian.
Nicky parked his car at work and walked the short distance to the Liffey. In the distance he saw a familiar figure stood out
side with a lad as tall as him stood in front. Nicky assumed this must be Brian
as he made his way to where they were stood.
“Hi Mark” Nicky said as he got close “and I assume you’re Brian” Nicky
continued and held his hand out for Brian to shake.
“Yeah I’m Brian” Brian replied shaking Nicky’s hand “You must be Nicky. Mark
said you were on our way.”
Nicky could feel Brian had a strong handshake and a broad smile. Nicky could
see why Mark might be attracted to the lad as he seemed to be hyper to Nicky.
“So what is it you do then Nicky?” Brian asked shaking
Nicky out of his dreams. “I work in a leisure centre now but I used to play
football.”
“Really thought you looked like you worked out anyway” Brian remarked nudging
Mark. “So how do you know Mark here then?”
“Nicky’s going out with my best mate Kian” Mark said blushing.
“So you’re one of us too then. Must have been hell playing football being gay.”
Brian laughed. “Or maybe heaven depending on your team mates?”
“It didn’t make any difference to me” Nicky started. “I only wanted to be with
Kian so they could have been male models for all I cared.”
“Come off it Nicky some of them were good looking and you must have noticed”
Mark remarked knowing he was pushing Nicky but he hoped Nicky would take it as
a bit of fun.
“Nah can’t say I noticed but then again wasn’t there something else or someone
else I was supposed to be interested in.” Nicky countered winking at Mark and
seeing him cringe.
Brian noticed something was going on here and looked at Mark quizzically. “Do I
have a rival then Mark?”
Mark stumbled over his words. “No it was just Nicky
messing around about something but I’ll tell you about that some other time
okay.” Mark hoped Brian wouldn’t try and find out more because he really didn’t
want to go into stuff about his stage fright and his dad just yet. Nicky
laughed and slung an arm around Mark. “It’s okay Mark you need to relax more
you know.”
Brian was sure there was something funny going on between Nicky and Mark but
could see how it upset Mark and that was the last thing he wanted to do. Brian
was sure he could get Mark to open up a bit if they were on their own and he
certainly wanted to get Mark on his own.
The time seemed to fly by and soon Nicky had to get off to meet Kian for lunch
so he said his goodbyes and asked Mark if they’d see him later. Mark said he’d
be at theirs after work if that was still okay and Nicky said fine he’d tell
Kian.
Kian was surprised to see Nicky there before him but he seemed to be miles away
and jumped when Kian put a hand on his shoulder.
“Sorry babe didn’t mean to scare ya. So how was
Brian?”
“He seems like a great guy. Full of energy so I’d say he was just what Mark
needed someone to push him” Nicky laughed.
Kian looked worried this Brian sounded a bit too much for Mark especially at
the moment. “He’s okay though?”
“Don’t panic Kian he seemed a bit jealous when I hinted about some stuff so I’m
sure he’s after Mark for more than friendship”
“You didn’t upset him though Nicky did you?” Kian asked worried now.
“No of course not Kian what do you take me for. I know how far to go with Mark
now. I can see I’ve given Brain a few things to think about and maybe push Mark
into talking about. I’m sure he doesn’t know about Mark’s dad and that stuff.”
“You didn’t say anything about that did you?”
“No. Oh by the way Mark’s at ours tonight if he doesn’t get other things
planned before then that is.”
Nicky leant over and kissed Kian quickly on the cheek before they looked at the
menu and ordered lunch. It ended up being rushed as Kian got a call from Louis
asking him to go back early and Nicky said he’d have to get to work anyway.
Mark
breathed a sigh as Nicky left the café. He'd been careful as if treading
on thin ice after Nicky's initial comment but the lad had been babbling about
everything and anything and luckily never noticed a thing. Brian on
the other hand had noticed Mark was a bit unsettled and put an arm around the
lad as Nicky walked out: "What do you say we head off too, go for a walk
by the river?" Mark nodded, resting his head on Brian's strong
shoulder for a few seconds longer. "Ok let's go then."
As they strolled by the Liffey Brian casually slung
an arm around Mark's shoulders, feeling Mark lean that impossible
inch closer. "So would you mind telling me what he was on about
now?" Brian then asked.
"A lot of things. It's complicated," Mark tried to avoid the
subject and Brian let him, for now. As they walked a bit further Brian
pointed to an apartment building: "My flat's right over there. I
think I've got the second-best view in the whole of
"What would be the best then?" Mark asked. Brian stopped
abruptly, making Mark turn to look at him. The bigger man lay a hand on Mark's cheek and leant closer, softly making
their lips meet.
As he pulled away, a small smile played on his lips as he looked at Mark, who
had a slightly dreamy look in his eyes. "This is," he
then whispered, resting his forehead against Mark's.
"Sorry?" Mark asked slightly confused.
"The best view in
"God, you're so gorgeous," Brian whispered. "Can I kiss
you again?" Mark could only nod. Softly Brian moved closer,
the hand that had cupped Mark's cheek moving through the lad's dark strands of
hair, his fingers playing with the small hairs leading down to Mark's
neck. They were stood in the shadow, to be seen only by the few ducks on
the Liffey which paid no attention to them
whatsoever. Mark closed his eyes in anticipation and he wasn't to be
disappointed as not a second after Brian's lips met his, Brian's tongue
sneaking out asking for entrance which was gladly given as Mark parted his lips
too.
They kissed for a little while longer until the bells of a nearby church rang
12, signalling noon. "I should get going," Brian
whispered. "I start work soon."
"I know, I should head off too. Brian, can
I ask you something?" Mark asked. "Does this mean we're
together now?"
"If you want us to be, yeah. I like you, Mark, a lot. I'd like
nothing better than for you to be my boyfriend. But only if you want
that."
"I do. I want to be your boyfriend," Mark smiled, feeling safe
with the tall Dubliner and somehow knowing Brian wouldn't be like all the
others.
As they walked back together they passed the school. "This is where
I work," Mark told Brian.
"Great job! Well, decent hours at least!" Brian said.
"You finish at 3pm, don't you?"
"Yeah but I do have to correct tests and everything after hours,"
Mark spoke. "At least you don't have to bring your work home."
"So you're a teacher then. What do you teach?" Brian wanted to
know.
"Music."
Just then one of Mark's colleagues walked past and stopped when she recognised
the tall dark-haired man. "Mark, you're back? I thought you
were still in
"He's dead, Clara. I've had a letter sent here and was told it's
been put up in the teachers' room so you'd not have to ask," Mark spat, he
really couldn't be arsed to deal with Ms. Nosey at that moment in time.
He hoped she got the picture when he turned away from her, facing the
wall. He did not need her to go telling the whole school how he'd been
crying just around the corner.
Unfortunately Clara was a tough woman with an elephant's skin and didn't get it
that Mark didn't want to talk about his father: "It's completely normal
for people to grieve about a lost parent, Mark. For most people it helps
to talk."
She hadn't even acknowledged Brian yet, but the tall Dubliner was about to
change that. "Excuse me, Miss? For most people it may help to
talk, you may be right about that, but it doesn't help being pushed into
talking. I'm sure you have a few better things to do than to try and make
Mark talk about things he clearly doesn't want to discuss."
"And who are you, his baby-sit?"
"My boyfriend," Mark turned around. If this woman was going to
spread rumours among the teachers he'd rather it be about something that made
him happy than about his father's death. They all knew he was gay anyway,
he'd been clear about that from the start and they had accepted it without a
problem.
"Oh" was all Clara managed to reply to that. "Well, I'll
see you inside then, Mark," she still managed to
add and went off quick as lightning.
"So is that what Nicky was on about?" Brian asked softly.
"Your dad died?"
Mark nodded: "Yeah but it's a bit more complicated than that but I'd
rather not talk about all that here if you don't mind."
"All in your own time, Marky, there's no
rush." Mark smiled, maybe Brian would really understand.
"Look," the tall Dubliner continued, "I really have to get to
work now but what say you meet me after work and I'll buy you dinner? We
can talk then."
"Sounds good, what time to you finish?"
"8.30, meet me there! It'll be so great,
Mark, I know this great little Italian place, the food is brilliant but not
many people know it so it's not too expensive or busy yet. You'll just
love it!" Brian spoke, already moving away and with one more wave ran off to work. Mark waited until the tall
Dubliner had disappeared out of sight and then walked off into the school
building to meet his substitute. He couldn't wait for the evening to
come.
Mark
could see the staff whispering and talking when they thought he wasn’t around
and it made him feel uncomfortable. He hated himself for getting so upset when
asked about his father and now he knew Brian wouldn’t let it rest until he knew
the whole story even if he said he could tell him in his own time. Mark felt as
if he was auto-pilot for the rest of the afternoon and by the end of the day
couldn’t remember half of what he had done as his mind was back on his failure
as a son.
Nicky was full of energy at the leisure centre that afternoon and couldn’t wait
to get home to show Kian how much energy he had. Nicky knew such thoughts were
not a good idea at work as his shorts didn’t leave much to the imagination anyway.
Nicky cursed as he went to the toilets to try and calm himself down before his
next session.
Kian couldn’t help but worry about what had happened between Mark, Brian and
Nicky earlier. He knew Nicky could rub Mark up the wrong way quite easily and as
much as he had said he didn’t Kian couldn’t quite believe it. Anyway he would
find out later when Mark got back to theirs.
By some coincidence they all arrived back at Kian and Nicky’s at almost the
same time. Kian smiled at Nicky as he got out of the car and came over giving
his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek. It wasn’t until Mark got out of the car
looking dejected that Kian scowled at Nicky, who shrugged as if to say wasn’t
me. Kian pushed Nicky towards the door and went over and slung an arm around his
friend.
“Are you okay?” Kian asked.
“Yes and no but don’t blame Nicky it isn’t his fault just someone at work.”
Mark replied and went on to explain what had happened and the fact he was out
for dinner with Brian.
By this time Nicky was in the kitchen trying to sort out some food so Kian told
mark to go get ready and he’d sort out Nicky. Kian went into the kitchen and
went up behind Nicky and hugged him. Nicky couldn’t help but lean into the hug.
“Sorry” Kian started. “Mark told me he had trouble at work and is out to dinner
with Brian so it’s just going to be you and me…”
Nicky turned to face Kian smiling. “Now I like the idea of that.” Nicky said
winking. “You can make it up to me for thinking the worse.”
“I know Nicky and I’m sorry but it’s only cos I know
what you can be like with Mark.”
Nicky kissed Kian to stop him saying any more. Kian took the hint and responded
eagerly to his boyfriend. They were interrupted by a cough behind and broke
apart blushing.
“I thought you two were making something to eat not eating each other.” Mark
beamed at them.
“Why are you jealous Marky” Nicky replied licking his
lips. “I could give you some of this appetiser too” he continued winking at
Kian when he saw Mark blush.
“I think Mark’s got that one covered Nicky but he’ll have to wait til later” Kian said laughing. “And besides I want to keep
your kisses all to myself tonight.” Kian could see the look of relief in Mark’s
eye’s at Kian’s comments.
“I just came in to see if you needed a hand anyway” Mark started and then blushed
again at his last comment.
Nicky rubbed his hand over the bulge now present in his trousers and commented.
“Not sure you’ll want to give me a hand with this eh Mark.” He said winking.
“And as far as food is concerned me and Kian have it
sorted but thanks for offering.”
Mark could see that Nicky was in a playful mood and whatever he said he would
turn around into some sort of sexual meaning so he said he would just go and
watch a bit if TV before meeting Brain. When he had gone Kian thumped Nicky’s
hand away from his groin and squeezed it hard making Nicky wince.
“I’ve told you before Nicky about teasing Mark like that” Kian warned. “He
still isn’t too sure whether to take you seriously or not.”
Nicky took Kian’s hand that was still over his groin and squeezed it again more
gently making him moan this time. “Maybe that’s cos
he can’t decide whether he wants me or not Kian so you’d better watch it.”
Nicky tried to say innocently.
“You’re impossible Byrne. Let’s just get some food and then I can teach you to
respect your boyfriend a bit more.” Kian said nipping at Nicky’s ear.
“Look forward to it” Nicky gasped.
Three quarters of an hour later Kian and Nicky sat down to eat finally and Mark
sat with them for the company. He looked at his watch and saw that he’d have to
make a move soon if he was to meet Brian on time.
“So?” Kian started. “Does this mean you are going on a date with Brian tonight
then?”
Mark blushed and nodded and Nicky squealed. “Told ya!”
and got a kick under the table for the comment.
Mark laughed. “It’s okay Kian. I know I said I wasn’t ready for any
relationship but I can’t explain it there’s something about Brian that makes me
feel safe whenever I’m with him.”
Kian placed a hand over Mark’s. “No need to explain I think both Nicky and I
know that feeling. We’re just happy you’ve found someone you want to be with
but don’t rush things if you’re not ready.”
“I won’t Kian” Mark started. “I’ve decided that I might tell him about my dad
and stuff sometime soon maybe not tonight but I think he’ll understand. He told
me he had stage fright too so he may be able to help too with mine even if it
is too late.”
“Mark I’ve told you already it’s not too late so don’t get back into those
thoughts again.” Kian replied.
“You keep saying this but I don’t see how I can but anyway I’ll leave you two
to whatever you want to do and see you either later or in the morning.” Mark
said getting up to leave.
“You’d better take my key with you Mark in case we’re not up when you get back”
Kian said handing Mark his key.
“Okay thanks and have a good evening.” Mark said smiling as he had a fair idea
what Nicky had in mind anyway.
As
Mark reached McDonald's Brian was already waiting for him. "Am I
late?" Mark asked, sounding insecure as he checked his watch.
"Nah, no worries. I finished early is all.
C'mere," Brian pulled Mark close, kissing the
slightly shorter lad softly. "You're so gorgeous," he
whispered.
Mark laughed it off: "You already said that. You're starting to
repeat yourself already."
"Mark, please, I mean it. It's not a joke."
Mark sighed: "I'm sorry. It's just... I don't know, I..."
"You're just not used to compliments, are you?"
Mark nodded. "People put you down enough, you start to believe
it."
"Yeah, I know that one all too well. And the bad stuff is easier to
believe than the good too, isn't it? Anyway shall we get
going? We could have been eating already by now," Brian changed the
subject. Mark just smiled at the tall Dubliner and nodded, thankful for
the change of subject as he let Brian wrap an arm around him and lead the way.
"Ciao bella," Brian waved one of the
waitresses over. "Saoirse, I want you to
meet a friend of mine. This is Mark," he motioned at the other lad,
"Mark, meet Saoirse. She's the one who
helped me over my stage fright, she used to sing at the open mic with me but she left to pursue a career as
a - what was it again?"
"Travel agent. But I'm still doing the course, Bri,
I'm not there just yet!" the girl explained. "And meanwhile I'm
working here to learn some Italian from Luigi in the back. And to pay the
rent of course but learning Italian sounds more interesting!" she winked
at Mark. "So, I guess you want the table in the corner?" she
turned back to Brian.
"It's the best!" the tall Dubliner grinned.
"Go on, you know the way. I'll be right over with the menus - unless
you know those by heart already to tell your friend all about it?"
Brian pulled a face: "My memory's not that good! Bring them over -
who knows, I might even try something new."
"Yeah that'll be the day! I'll tell Luigi to start on the Meat
Special with extra pepperoni already!" she laughed.
"No seriously, I might really try something else tonight," Brian
grinned and charged off to the table in the corner. Mark just barely
managed to catch a glimpse of Saoirse shaking her
head and laughing before he was pulled along.
The corner table that Brian had chosen was in sort of an alcove which
created a bit of privacy for the two men currently at the table. Brian
took advantage of that by caressing Mark's upper back and softly kissing
him, then as the kiss ended he just held his boyfriend close as Mark rested his
head on Brian's strong shoulder, glad of the contact. Saoirse
came to bring over the menus but just smiled and winked as she caught Mark
blushing, apparently she knew about Brian's sexuality already and didn't mind a
bit. Mark had to smile at that, it felt so liberating to just be able to
be who you are without constantly worrying what other people might think.
They had their dinner just enjoying each other's company and chatting about
nothing of importance, Brian being careful to steer clear of the subjects he
knew now Mark was sensitive about. There'd be plenty of time to talk
about those things later, for now he was happy to see Mark relaxing as he was
sure the lad had had a hard time at work after having seen the colleague at
noon.
After the meal Mark picked up the menu once more to look at the desert section.
"Did you fancy a sweet Brian?" Mark asked "Or just some
coffee?"
"I've some coffee at my place and I may have some ice-cream lying around
still too if you want some?"
Mark blushed not sure how to take Brian's comment as he could see Brian was
trying hard not to sound too forward. "Okay how about we skip desert and
go back to yours for coffee and just coffee."
Brian smiled and placed a small kiss on Mark's cheek. "Sounds good to
me," he replied.
Mark knew he may be taking a chance by going back to Brian's but the tall lads
energy seemed to fill him with feeling he hadn't felt in a long time and he
didn't want to lose it. Mark stood and offered Brian a hand. "How about we
take a walk along the river on our way back to yours?"
"I'd like that," Brian stood up too, taking Mark's hand. With his
free hand he then caressed Mark's face softly as he brushed the dark-haired
boy's lips. "Don't be scared, Mark. I'd never try anything you don't
want."
"I I know that" Mark stuttered. "I've
just been hurt too many times Brian."
"I know. I don't want you to be hurt again, Mark, ever. I promise,"
Brian told him, still softly caressing Mark's cheek. "I've been
there too, I know how you're feeling. But whatever
those bastards in the past did, you can't let them rule your life
forever."
Mark turned into Brian's caress and kissed the palm of his hand as they left
the restaurant. It was quiet as they walked along the river. "I don't know
why but I always find the sound of water soothing." Mark offered as they
walked along. "I suppose it could just be the water reminds me of my
favourite place back home."
"Can you tell me about it?" Brian asked, glad that Mark seemed to
start to open up a bit.
"You ever been to
"Pity. You're missing out," Mark smiled, then continued:
"There's a place out there called Hazelwood, out by Lough Gill. I've
always loved it there. My... my dad used to take me there as a
child, we'd go walk the dog there. A bit of father-and-son time he called
it. But I got older and didn't want to go with him anymore, didn't stop
going there but just went on my own. It's so lovely out there, so
quiet. I used to sit on a fallen tree by the water's edge, just sit and
listen to the water, the birds, the wind in the
trees. Then when I got tired of sitting around I'd follow the path a bit
further, first along the water's edge and then further into the forest at the
next junction. It was the only place where I could be at peace,
where I didn't have to pretend. I went there a lot when I was younger - I
could think more clearly there, came there often when it all got too much for me
to handle. God I miss that place!"
Brian untangled his hand from Mark's and instead wrapped his arms around the
lad, holding him close. "We'll go there someday, I'll see when I can
get a weekend off next and you can show me then. It sounds beautiful from
what you've told me, I'd love to see it. Anyway we need to go up there
now if you still want that coffee."
Mark just nodded and let Brian lead him up to the apartment.
Back
at Kian and Nicky’s the pair had cuddled up in front of the TV as soon as Mark
had left. Nicky tried his best to get Kian’s attention but could see he wasn’t
really there.
“You’re worrying about Mark aren’t you?” Nicky finally asked making Kian jump.
“That obvious?” Kian sighed.
“Well I’m hoping he gets on okay too you know but we have to let him do his
thing.” Nicky started and saw that look from Kian. “I don’t mean it in a bad
way Kian just that it’s up to him if he wants to get involved with anyone and
from what I have seen Brian looks like a great guy so stop worrying.”
Kian kissed Nicky softly on the lips. “I know but I can’t help it you know
that.”
Nicky caressed Kian’s cheek. “I know love but I want to talk to you about
something but it can wait until your mind is with me.”
“No you’re right Nicky we have to let Mark get on with his life. Now what was
it you wanted to talk about only I thought I had some making up to do?”
“Just being here like this is all I need Kian. Let’s just spend a bit of quiet
time together for now. We can talk later anyway just noticed there’s footie on.” Nicky pouted at Kian.
“Okay we’ll watch the football if you want as long as you’re happy.” Kian said
raising his eyebrows at how excited Nicky got over a game or was it just that
they were alone Kian sometimes couldn’t tell with Nicky. Kian did wonder though
what Nicky wanted to talk to him about but he assumed Nicky would say something
when he was ready.
By half time Kian had got into the match himself which of course featured
Nicky’s old team. Kian wondered if Nicky missed those days now and wished he’d
stayed on. Kian tried to distract Nicky every now and again by tickling him
behind the ear or pushing a hand up under Nicky’s t-shirt and teasing his
nipples, delighting when he got a response from Nicky’s body. The real
distraction came when Kian unzipped Nicky’s jeans and stoked the bulge there
just as Man U were shooting, causing Nicky to moan and miss the goal.
“KIAN!!” Nicky gasped. “If you don’t want to watch the match why didn’t you
just say.”
“Oh it’s not that I don’t want to watch the match it’s just fun trying to stop
you.” Kian giggled as he reached into Nicky’s boxers and stroked his cock.
“You keep that up and I won’t be responsible for my actions love.” Nicky sighed
enjoying the touches.
“And what are you gonna do to stop me” Kian
challenged knowing Nicky wouldn’t be able to resist and anyway it was half time
now.
Nicky leaned over and kissed Kian hard, sucking on his lip and then moving
toward his ear and licking in just the spot he knew Kian loved the most. Kian
pushed into Nicky’s touch wanting more but knowing he was just teasing him in
the way he’d been teasing Nicky. Nicky pushed Kian’s t-shirt up and nipped at
one of his nipples, feeling Kian lean into his actions.
“Now do you want to watch to rest of the game or go to bed?” Nicky asked his
eyes now dark.
“Why don’t we go to bed and you can tell me what you were on about earlier?”
Kian sighed loving the way Nicky could get him to a state of complete desire
without doing too much.
“Okay” Nicky said and pulled Kian to his feet, then leading him upstairs he
made sure the TV was off and the door locked before continuing up to their room.
They stripped each other naked and got under the covers and just held each
other close for several moments. Both could feel how turned on the other was
but it didn’t seem to matter at that moment just the closeness of their bodies.
They kissed lazily and tongues battled for several more minutes after that
before Nicky finally broke their contact.
“You know how much I love you Kian?”
“You show me as often as you can get away with” Kian quipped and saw Nicky
scowl.
“I’m serious Kian I want to do something to show you and everyone how much I
love you.” Nicky continued.
“I don’t care about showing everyone how much you love me Nicky all that
matters is you do and I love you.” Kian replied.
“Not even if I want us to get married?”
Kian couldn’t quite believe he had heard Nicky correctly. He had read that they
could now get married legally but he never imagined Nicky would consider it.
Nicky looked at Kian and started to worry if he’d ruined it by mentioning the
subject.
“I’m sorry Kian I shouldn’t have” Nicky was stopped by Kian placing a finger
over his lips. “No Nicky I’m sorry for not taking you seriously. Of course I
would love to marry you if you’re asking?”
Nicky sat up and took Kian’s hand and kissed each finger in turn. “Kian I love
you so much and want to spend the rest of my like with you so will you marry
me?”
Kian sat up and kissed Nicky hard. “Of course I will!”
Nicky wanted to run down the street shouting at that point his was so happy but
Kian stopped him before he got arrested for flashing. They both laughed and
cuddled back up together in bed. There was going to have to be party after this
and of course they had to tell Mark first.
Meanwhile
Mark and Brian had reached Brian's flat. As Brian busied himself in the
kitchen making them both some coffee as promised Mark got a chance to look
around. When Brian came back into the living room with two cups he
found Mark looking out the huge windows. "You were right about the
view," Mark spoke quietly as he felt the taller lad come up behind him.
"It's supposed to be even more beautiful from out there," Brian said,
pointing at the balcony.
"Supposed to be?"
"I don't go out there," Brian shrugged. "Don't let me stop
you if you want to see though."
"I'll see it some other time," Mark turned around and smiled.
The trembling of his hand betrayed his nerves as he reached out to caress
Brian's cheek the way the other lad had done earlier. He wasn't used to
taking initiative like this, he'd never been given the chance in the past but
Brian let him take it as slow as he wanted to and it felt so right as he leant
closer, searching the Dubliner's lips with his own as he felt the other man's
large hands on his back, holding him but not trapping him, caressing but not
pressurising.
"Coffee's getting cold," Brian whispered as the kiss ended, not
wanting to break the atmosphere that had built. With that he led Mark to
the couch, handing him his cup which he'd put down on the coffee table before
taking his own. It was something he didn't think twice about but little
things like that meant the world to Mark, who smiled slightly as he sipped the
coffee.
As he finished his coffee Mark leant back against Brian, the taller man's
strong arms wrapping themselves around him lovingly. He was on the verge
of dozing off, cozy and safe in Brian's arms, when
the lightning flashed and the thunder roared as a storm broke loose. He
shot up, his heart beating three times a second as his breath sped up, leaving
him on the brink of hyperventilating in his panic attack. Luckily Brian
knew how to handle that and he sat Mark down, hushing him and trying to calm
him down, then as he found that near impossible he grabbed a paper bag that was
still lying around from the kitchen table, making Mark breathe into it
while he kept caressing the dark-haired boy's back, still trying to soothe him
and call him down.
When Mark calmed down slightly Brian pulled the heavy duty curtains
closed. Those didn't let through any light, he
had purchased them as he had been working nights one summer and found it
impossible to sleep with the sun out. Unfortunately the thunder wasn't as
easily blocked out and each roar still reduced Mark to a shivering
wreck. Luckily he had Brian to hold him and protect him as he curled up
in the bigger man's arms. Tears rolled down his face, he couldn't stop
them as much as he wanted to hide but Brian never said a word.
When the storm calmed and the rain stopped Mark gave Brian a kiss.
"Thank you," he whispered. "I'm sorry I overreacted so
much. I shouldn't be scared of thunderstorms anymore but I am."
"Shh, don't worry. We're all scared of
something," Brian soothed.
"But I'm scared of everything. Even the pigeons scare me.
You're not scared of anything," Mark said.
Brian shook his head: "That's not true, Mark. I'm scared of a few
things, I've managed to fight off a phobia or two but heights scare
the living daylights out of me for one."
"Oh is that why you don't go out there?" Brian nodded.
"You know what, I'll help you with your fears if you help me with mine,
what do you say?"
"Deal!" Brian grinned, giving Mark a full-on kiss and hugging the
other lad.
They relaxed in each other's arms for a little while longer, then at about
a quarter past eleven Mark made to get up: "I should be heading
back."
Brian pouted: "Do you have to?"
Mark nodded sadly: "Early start again tomorrow and I'm still staying
with my friends, I've Kian's key with me so I can't just not
go back and leave him without his key for tomorrow."
"I guess. D'ye need
to go far?"
"A few minutes by taxi, not too far."
"I'll drive you," Brian offered, "save you the money."
Mark just smiled and nodded as he went in search of his coat.
Neither of the lads said much as they drove towards Kian and Nicky's
place. As they came to a halt on arrival Brian forced a smile:
"You're here."
"I'm here..." Mark spoke, not really wanting to get out of the car
yet but knowing he'd have to get inside sooner or later. "Are you
working tomorrow?" Brian shook his head. "I am,"
Mark continued. "I have one free hour after lunch though so two
hours to fill, do you wanna meet for lunch?"
"That'd be great," Brian smiled, placing a hand on the back of Mark's
neck pulling him close for a soft, leisurely kiss. "I wish it was
tomorrow already..." he whispered as the kiss ended.
"I know, Bri, so do I. But I really have
to go inside now. Meet me at the school at noon, will you? We'll
have a bit of time then."
"I will. Sweet dreams, Mark."
"Goodnight babe, I'll see you in my dreams."
That night the dark-haired lad slept better than he had in a
long time and it was a well-rested, happy-looking Mark who appeared at the
breakfast table the next morning. Kian and Nicky were already having
breakfast, looking somewhat excited about something in Mark's opinion:
"OK, what's up with you two?"
Kian bit his lip to keep back the grin as Nicky spoke: "We're getting
married..."
For
a moment Mark wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly. “I thought you just said you
were getting married.”
Kian and Nicky grinned and nodded. “We are” Kian said finally.
Mark leapt up and pulled Kian into a hug. “Congratulations!” After squeezing
Kian almost to death Mark let him go and repeated his action on Nicky who
beamed at Mark. “So you’re happy for us.” Nicky managed to gasp as Mark let him
go.
“Happy of course I’m happy it’s the best news ever!” Mark exclaimed feeling
like he had just won the lottery or something. “When did all this happen?”
“I asked Kian last night” Nicky said quietly.
Mark looked surprised as he thought Kian would be the one to have to ask Nicky.
“I take it then everything’s sorted between you two?” Mark didn’t want to
mention the about him bit.
Kian hugged Mark. “Yes we’re all sorted on that front so you don’t have to feel
you can’t be here Mark but from the looks of things you might have found
someone else to keep you company anyway?”
Mark blushed knowing they were talking about Brian but changed the subject.
“Anyway you’ve gotta celebrate this somehow. How
about I see if Brian if is up for a meal somewhere?”
Nicky grinned. “That would be when you see him I would say for lunch then would
it?”
Mark just opened and closed his mouth making both Kian and Nicky burst out
laughing and Mark had to join in. “Am I that obvious?”
“Only to us.” Kian laughed.
“So what do you reckon then? Are you up for celebrating?” Mark asked once he’d
finally managed to stop laughing.
Kian and Nicky looked at one another. Nicky had a look of ‘can’t we celebrate
alone’ but Kian looked at him with ‘please’ eyes and so they both nodded.
“We’re up for it.” They said together.
Mark went to work feeling great and was just hoping that Brian would be up for
celebrating Nicky and Kian’s good news when they met up at lunchtime.
As they were both working all day Kian offered to drop Nicky off on his way to
work and Nicky wasn’t going to refuse the offer as it meant they got some extra
time together whilst travelling.
“Are you really bothered that Mark wants to celebrate with us?” Kian asked
Nicky out of the blue in the car as they were stuck at traffic lights.
“No not really I half expected as much it just would have been nice to
celebrate on our own.” Nicky said with a wink.
“It doesn’t stop us doing something on our own.” Kian started. “Like say a
weekend away soon.”
Nicky’s eyes lit up at the suggestion. “You mean when I next get my weekend
off?”
“Yes that’s next weekend isn’t it?”
Nicky thought for a moment then smiled. “It is! It’ll be great Kian but what
about Mark?” Nicky was worried about how Mark would cope without them.
“I think he’ll be okay with Brian as it sounds like they have a lot in common.”
Kian said squeezing Nicky’s leg for thinking of Mark.
Nicky wanted to tell the world their news but Kian insisted they kept if quiet
and got a pout from Nicky for his suggestion but Kian was firm. Nicky agreed
reluctantly and gave Kian a kiss before getting out of the car, a huge smile
still fixed on his face. Kian had to laugh as he watched Nicky almost skip into
the leisure centre.
Kian too went into work full of smiles and a few around him noticed but when
asked he gave nothing away. One of the assistants mumbled that it must be love
to have him so happy and they all wandered around making fun of Kian for the
rest of the morning.
Mark too had a big smile on his face as he took his mornings classes making all
his kids laugh and nudge one another and joke about it. Mark didn’t care though
as he had Brian for one thing and now the Kian news so today nothing could go
wrong. At lunchtime Mark raced out to find Brian already waiting for him. Brian
saw the huge grin on Mark’s face and couldn’t help but smile back.
Brian gave Mark a quick kiss on his cheek and took his hand as they headed off
for lunch. “You’re really happy today Mark and something tells me it’s more
than just the fact you’re meeting me.”
“You’re right and wrong Brian. Of course I’m happy to be meeting up with you
but I also had some good news this morning but I’ll tell you all about that
whilst we’re eating.”
Brian led Mark to a quiet bar for lunch and after they had ordered, got a drink
and found somewhere to sit Brian questioned Mark again. “So what’s made you so
happy?”
“It’s Kian and Nicky. You’ve already met Nicky but Kian is my best mate and
well the two of them have just got engaged.” Mark managed to spit out still
beaming.
“Well I guess that’s a good reason to celebrate then!”
“Yeah and talking of celebrating I suggested we could all go out for dinner
that’s if you’re okay with that?”
Brian hugged Mark. “Of course it is Marky. So when do
you want to do this tonight?”
“I hadn’t thought about it but yeah if you’re free I can see if they are up for
it.” Mark replied pulling out his mobile and dialling Kian’s number.
Fortunately Kian was on lunch too when Mark called and after Mark stuttering
and laughing while he talked Kian got the message and said it would be fine.
“That’s settled then Brian but where shall we take them?”
“How about we try the new Chinese near where we went before?”
“Great we all love Chinese so yes would you book a table for say 8pm?”
Mark sent a text to Kian to give the time and potential venue and Kian sent one
back to say fine he’d let Nicky know. Kian then sent Nicky a quick text so he
knew what was going on before he picked him up later.
Nicky heard his phone beep but was busy so it was half an hour later before he
got a chance to read it. Seeing it was from Kian made him smile before he even
opened it and then he just laughed when he saw what it said. “Mark and Brian
taking us to Chinese tonight so don’t be late. Love you loads Kian xxx.”
That
evening Mark was the first to arrive at the restaurant. After his last
class finished he'd gone shopping for something to wear that night and
eventually bought a blue shirt of which the shop assistant had said it brought
out the colour of his eyes and a pair of black trousers which, also according
to the shop assistant, looked great on him. As he had thanked the girl
for her help he hoped Brian would agree with her opinion, he knew Brian had
seen him wearing worse but he had really wanted to make an effort without
looking like he was trying too hard. He had also passed on the directions
Brian had sent him to Nicky and Kian and was now waiting for his friends to
arrive.
Brian's tall, well-built figure walking up the road was the first Mark noticed
coming up. As the Dubliner approached he suddenly stopped dead just a few
feet away from Mark. Looking the lad up and down he
gasped: "God Mark, you look amazing!"
Mark blushed in reply: "You don't look so bad yerself."
Brian did look gorgeous in his navy trousers and white shirt and Mark held his
breath as the tall Dubliner approached him, wrapping his strong arms
around Mark as he leant closer for a kiss. Just as their lips met a
shout startled them apart: "Oi! Get a
room!"
A blush crept up on Mark's cheeks again as he turned towards the sound only to
come face to face with Kian. Nicky stood by his fiancé's side grinning:
"Nice to see you both again! Mark, why are you blushing?
Tomato doesn't suit you!"
That comment sent Mark blushing even more and Brian pulled the lad close:
"No worries, he's only teasing, you look amazing." Then he turned
to the newly engaged couple: "Hey Nicky, nice to see you again. And
you must be Kian," he reached out a hand to the shorter lad and was
surprised by the blond’s strong grip as they shook
hands.
"So you're the famous Brian then," Kian smiled at his best friend's
new boyfriend. The smile sent Brian weak at the knees, even more so as
his own deep blue eyes met Kian's clear blue eyes. He immediately kicked
himself inwardly for even the thought of how good the blond looked, he hadn't
just got together with Mark to leave the lad already and besides, Kian was
newly engaged anyway. Still he felt guilty almost as much as if he had
acted on the feeling and he pushed it to the back of his mind as the blond
loosened his grip and Brian's hand was released only to be met with Mark's
again. He smiled at the dark-haired lad, no he
was definitely not going to lose this gorgeous man over a silly thought!
"Well, shall we?" Mark suggested smiling and he and Brian led the way
into the restaurant.
Mark, Nicky and Kian were impressed as they took in their surroundings once
inside. Brian couldn't have picked a better place to celebrate the
blonds' engagement. Instead of hard wooden chairs the tables were lined
with couches, red velvet covering them and giving them a very soft feel as the
lads found out when they sat down. There were candles on the table and
soft music playing in the background. On the whole it was really romantic and
Kian and Nicky thanked Brian for choosing such a perfect place for them.
The meal went fine apart from one small incident where Kian's hand accidentally
touched Brian's hip as he lost his balance getting up to go to the
bathroom. Just before dessert Nicky stood up and took Kian's
hand: "Kian, will you stand up too for a moment?" Kian did
as asked and Nicky continued: "We both know why we're here and I know I've
asked you this before but I feel I didn't do it properly then." With
that he went down on one knee and took out a small jewellery box: "Kian
Egan, will you marry me?"
Kian smiled: "Yes! Of course I will, ye deutz!"
With that Nicky slid the ring on Kian's finger and placed a small kiss on
it. Then Kian took his fiancé's hands and pulled him up for a proper
kiss. Mark smiled at the scene before him and leant in to Brian who in
turn wrapped an arm around the dark-haired man, thanking his lucky stars for
letting him meet this gorgeous lad. So what if Kian looked good, Mark
looked a thousand times better and he wouldn't trade the younger lad's love for
anything.
The two blonds sat down again just as the waiter showed up with their desserts,
ice cream which Kian and Nicky ate while holding hands under the table.
Mark noticed the small gesture and as they all finished their desserts he spoke
up: "Lads, I'm not coming back to yours tonight, you both deserve some
time on your own, without me interfering."
"You're not interfering, Mark," Kian protested. "As I
said, you can stay with us as long as you need to."
Mark smiled: "I know. Thanks for that. But hey, I have to
go back to my own place sometime, might as well bite the bullet and go
now. I'm sure you two can think of nicer things to do than baby sit me."
At that Nicky grinned but Kian was still hesitating: "You know you're
always welcome though, Mark. You don't have to go home if you don't want
to."
"Kian, believe me, it may be a long time yet before I'll really want to go
home to that empty flat without your loud voice and Nicky's constant banter but
if I don't go now maybe I'll never get the courage and it'll be even harder to
face that. You and Nicky here are getting married,
I can't be staying at yours forever."
Kian stood up and pulled his taller friend into a hug. "Just as long
as you know you're always welcome."
Mark nodded: "I know."
As Brian and Nicky watched that scene Brian almost without thinking commented:
"They're really close aren't they?"
Nicky smiled, he knew the feelings he heard in Brian's voice all too well as
he'd gone through them just a few days ago. Luckily all that was sorted
between him and Kian and he could now with certainty say: "They're just
best friends, they've known each other practically forever."
"I guess, if you say so. You've known them
for longer than I have."
"Don't worry Bri. I know what you're
thinking, I've thought it too but surely you don't think I'd have asked
Kian to marry me if I wasn't sure of his love for me?"
"You have a point," Brian smiled. Just then the two lads pulled
out of their hug and joined their respective partners at the table.
"So does anyone still want to go for a drink?" Kian suggested.
"No, I have to head off, early shift tomorrow," Brian shook his
head. "Some other time maybe."
"Alright. I guess Nicky and I will head home too then," Kian
spoke and was rewarded by Nicky who ran a hand over his lover's leg, leaving no
doubt as to what he wanted to do to Kian as soon as they got home.
As the two blonds and Brian stood up Mark took the tall Dubliner's hand:
"Brian, wait." Kian hesitated at hearing Mark's voice but Nicky
took him outside: "Don't, Kian. I know you want to protect him but
you have to let him do some things on his own. He'll be fine. We'll
just wait here until they come outside too."
Soon enough their patience was rewarded as Brian and Mark made their way out of
the restaurant holding hands. "We should get going. Nicky,
Kian, pleasure to meet you and I'm sure I'll see you around," Brian
spoke. Mark just smiled and waved goodbye, a happy gleam shining in his
eyes which set Kian's mind at ease as he watched the pair walk off together.
"You wanna walk back or take a taxi?"
"Taxi." Nicky smiled at the reply, he knew well that the sooner
they got home would be the sooner he could show Kian just how much his
acceptance had meant to him.
It
seemed to take an age as far as Nicky was concerned before the taxi arrived to
take them home but finally it turned up. Kian could see Nicky was getting
frustrated by the lack of speed from the taxi firm and couldn’t help but smile
as he had a fair idea why Nicky wanted to get home as soon as he could.
They got into the back of the taxi and Kian told the driver where the wanted to
go and then he took hold of Nicky’s hand and squeezed it. “You know I couldn’t
be happier than I am right now don’t you?” Kian
whispered in Nicky’s ear and noticed how he shivered as Kian’s breath brushed
over his neck as he spoke.
Nicky squirmed slightly in the seat trying desperately not to jump Kian right
there and then. “I aim to please.” Nicky whispered back and then started as the
car stopped. Nicky paid the driver as he ushered Kian out of the taxi. Kian
laughed as he wandered to the door and opened it, waiting for Nicky to catch him
up before they entered the house.
Across the city Brian had accompanied Mark back to his house and although he
could see from the look Mark gave him he wanted him to come in Brian apologised
and repeated that he was on the early shift. Brian could see the disappointment
on Mark’s face so he promised he would come over the following night and they
could spend it together. Brain said he would even make sure he brought a change
of clothes so he could stay late. Mark smiled knowing that by late Brian was saying
he would stay with Mark the following night if he wanted.
Mark sighed as he watched Brian walk away leaving him alone once more. Mark had
come to hate being alone since his dad died but he knew Nicky would want some
time alone with Kian after his proposal so he had to give them their space.
Brian hated having to leave Mark alone but he couldn’t afford to get another
warning from work for his time keeping as much as he wanted to stay with Mark.
Thoughts flashed back into Brian’s head about Kian and he shook himself saying
he couldn’t go there again. Brian sighed as he walked home wishing life wasn’t
so complicated.
Once inside it didn’t take Nicky long before he had Kian pinned against the
wall in their hallway and had kissed him hard. Kian moved his hips so they
rubbed against Nicky’s already hard groin making him moan.
“I want you upstairs and naked on our bed in 2 minutes.” Moaned Nicky as Kian
made it hard for him to concentrate.
“I can’t do that if you’ve got me pinned down here now can I?” Kian said innocently
as he rubbed his hand along Nicky’s hardened length and squeezed gently.
“Oh god if you don’t move now I’ll take you right here.” Nicky moaned now
feeling any romantic idea he had had going rapidly out of the window.
Kian took his chance and ducked out of Nicky’s grasp and ran up the stairs
leaving Nicky standing there, his breath hard as he tried to gain control.
Noticing something was now missing Nicky looked around and then after adjusting
himself he made his way up the stairs. When he got to the bedroom door the
sight before him made him wish he could just captured the moment for eternity.
Kian had done as instructed and had stripped naked and was now lying on the bed
spread out and waiting for his fiancé.
Nicky stared at Kian as he tried to remove his clothes but for some reason they
didn’t want to be removed. Kian had to smile as he saw Nicky become more and
more irate with himself. “Come here.” Kian ordered softly and Nicky stumbled
over to the bed.
Kian sat up and pulled Nicky close so he could undress him, making sure he did
it as slowly as possible. Nicky wanted Kian to hurry up but could see he was
trying to get Nicky to think straight again before they continued. “I love you
so much Kian.” Nicky said as Kian removed his boxers leaving him naked as well.
“I know.” Kian said as he pulled Nicky on top of him as softly kissed his lips.
Both Kian and Nicky were now hard and as they jostled for position whilst they
kissed it seemed as if it wouldn’t take long before either of them came. Nicky
moved to stop the friction between them but continued to kiss his way down
Kian’s body. Nicky paid particular attention to the places he knew Kian loved
but avoided the one place they both needed attention on. Kian could feel the
love with every kiss, suck, lick and nip Nicky made on
his body and knew he had made the right choice in saying yes.
Finally Nicky stopped and looked into Kian’s eyes. “Make love to me.” Nicky
whispered. “I’m not sure I have the energy left in me.” Kian whispered in
return as all the attention had made him feel quite weak with joy. Seeing the
look of pure joy on Kian’s face Nicky just nodded and moved back on top of
Kian. After stroking Kian’s cock a couple of times Nicky moved so that his
entrance was positioned over it but before he could move Kian stopped him.
“You’ve not been prepared.” Kian said as he shuffled and pushed Nicky to the
side.
“I don’t care I just want to feel at one with you.” Nicky replied making his
normal pouting face.
Kian smiled. “Turn over.” Nicky didn’t need telling twice but found it hard to
lay flat as his cock felt it was going to explode any second. Kian could see
Nicky’s discomfort and pushed him back on his back. Quickly taking his cock in
his mouth, Kian sucked it hard and fast making Nicky scream as his orgasm hits
shortly after.
“I wanted us to come together.” Nicky gasped as he tried to control his
breathing.
“We will. Kian said as he kissed Nicky letting him taste himself. “Now turn
over.”
Nicky did as he was told and Kian put a pillow under Nicky to raise his bottom
up slightly and give Nicky’s groin a bit of space for growth. Kian kissed his
way down Nicky’s back and as he reached his entrance he gently nipped Nicky’s
cheek’s making him squeak. Kian then licked around Nicky’s hole and was
rewarded by Nicky squirming as he realised what Kian was going to do to loosen
him.
Kian knew he hadn’t done much rimming with Nicky but he wanted to show Nicky
how much the proposal had meant so he continued. Slowly licking around Nicky’s
entrance Kian pushed his tongue into his and started to move it in and out.
Nicky grasped at the bed, trying not to thrust back to much as he knew Kian was
doing this for almost the first time. After a short while Kian removed his
tongue and continued opening Nicky up with his fingers until he could see he
was ready. “Turn over.” Kian ordered. Nicky quickly turned over and Kian could
see he was hard again. Stroking himself to spread the pre-come over his
throbbing cock Kian positioned himself at Nicky’s entrance but Nicky was too quick
and pulled Kian down hard so he thrust hard and deep inside Nicky. Nicky winced
but kept hold of Kian as he tried to relieve the obvious pain he had caused
Nicky by the intrusion.
“Let me move.” Kian gasped breathing hard after being forced into Nicky a
little faster than he had planned.
“In a minute.” Nicky responded as he pulled Kian into a kiss.
As they broke the kiss Kian spoke. “You’re gonna
suffer in the morning Nicky.” Kian was now concerned that he had really hurt
Nicky even if it had been Nicky that had done the main pulling.
“It’ll be worth it.” Nicky gasped as he released Kian so he could make his own
pace and thrust in and out of Nicky. Kian kept his body low so he caused a
friction on Nicky’s cock as he moved in and out. Moving slightly Kian caught
Nicky’s prostate and Nicky moaned loudly. Before long Kian could feel his
orgasm building and from the look in Nicky’s eyes he too was close again. A few
more thrusts and they both came together calling each others names.
After a few moments Kian slipped out of Nicky and slumped next to him, pulling
him close. “Promise me you won’t do that again.” Kian said as he could see
Nicky’s eyes drifting closed.
“If you don’t want me to I won’t.” Nicky said yawning and kissed the end of
Kian’s nose.
Soon the pair were fast asleep.
Unlike
Kian and Nicky, Mark spent the night tossing and turning, occasionally dosing
off but waking up shortly after from some or another nightmare. He dreamt
he was back at his father's funeral, only when he went up to the casket (or
coffin) it wasn't his father in there - instead he dreamt it was Kian, Nicky or
one of his kid-brothers. He'd had those nightmares when he was at home in
Here in Dublin he didn't wake up to comfortable hugs and soothing movements of
his mum going about her daily routines - a bit changed now she didn't have to
make coffee for her husband before he rushed off to work but still
familiar. Here in
Across town in his own apartment Brian was up as well. He'd slept better
than Mark had but still it felt like his alarm clock had gone off way too early
as he stood up and stretched his muscles. He wondered how Mark was.
The lad had looked so sad as he realised he'd have to
go in alone and Brian doubted he'd made the right decision in leaving him there
on his own. He'd had no choice though, had he? He'd had too many
warnings at work already, he couldn't afford to lose
his job. Still he felt guilty for having left the dark-haired lad
alone. Reaching for his mobile phone he startled as it signalled a text
message. He quickly opened the message, smiling as he saw it was from
Mark. "Hey. Hope I didn't wake you. Couldn't
sleep. Can I see you before work?" Biting his lip Brian texted back: "Can't. No time." His
finger hovered over the send-button, then a thought crossed his mind and he
added: "You can meet me at work tho - i'll get u breakfast. Bxx" With that he sent the message and threw his uniform
in his bag as he went out the door and started his way to work.
It was the longest five minutes Mark had ever had to wait as he arrived at the
McDonald's where Brian worked. Seen as it wasn't technically open for
customers yet he sat down on the pavement, making sure to avoid the spilt
ice-cream someone must have dropped during the night. As he felt the
tears sting in his eyes he pulled the hood of his sweater up, not wanting the
few passers-by to see he was crying. He didn't look up until someone
kneeled down beside him and a familiar voice broke through his thoughts:
"Hey you. You OK?" Still teary-eyed Mark looked up at the
person and shook his head. "Oh honey," a pair of strong arms
pulled Mark up and into a hug. "It's OK now, I'm here."
"I needed you so much last night, Bri,"
Mark sobbed on the taller man's shoulder.
"It's OK," Brian hushed him, "it's OK, I'm
here now." Then as he let go he ran a hand over Mark's cheeks:
"Come on, go get yourself freshened up, I'll go change into my uniform and
then I'll get you some breakfast, OK?"
As said as done but the two lovers weren't granted much time together as Brian
was asked to help in the kitchen as one of the lads there was off sick and the
replacement couldn't make it for another hour. Still it meant a lot to
Mark just not to be alone, surrendered to his own thoughts and fears. All
too soon it was time for Mark to leave for work and as Brian noticed his
boyfriend getting up and getting his jacket he handed his stuff to one of his
colleagues and ran out of the kitchen: "You're not leaving without a
goodbye are you?"
"I'm not now!" Mark smiled at the bubbly Dubliner.
"Look, I'm sorry for not having been there for you last night but can I
still come over after work?"
"Don't you dare not come!" Mark smiled.
"I'll be there. 8pm OK for you?"
"Can you make it sooner? 'Round 6 maybe? I'll make us some
dinner?"
"Sounds good to me!" Brian smiled. " I can't wait."
"Me neither. I really have to go now Bri -
I'll see you tonight."
"See you then babe."
The day dragged for both Mark and Brian but finally it was home time for Mark
and not long after he was on the phone to his mum for cooking
instructions. At first he'd heard her laughing on the other end of the
line - no wonder really as he'd been in
With just fifteen minutes left before Brian was due to arrive Mark was having
to deal with vegetables that just wouldn't get cooked, chicken that was turning
to ashes and potatoes that were falling apart. Just then the phone
decided to start ringing as well, having Mark in a complete panic.
Checking the caller ID he picked up the phone: "Bad timing Ki!"
"Why? You can't be in bed with loverboy
just yet!" Kian laughed.
"Ha ha, not funny. Actually I was cooking
dinner - well trying to anyway" he added as he heard the water of the
vegetables boil over. Great, NOW they decide to start cooking!
"Ki, I really have to go."
"You cooking for loverboy?"
"No, I'm going through a culinary hell for the dog downstairs!" Mark
spat as he lost his temper. Too much had happened in the last hour for
him to stay calm and then the doorbell rang as well: "Ki, I have to go -
Brian's here." Then he threw the phone down not waiting for Kian's
reply and ran to the buzzer to let Brian in and then ran to save what he could
of the bird in the oven. The knock on the door announcing Brian had
reached Mark's floor came too soon and Mark rushed to open the door, not even
taking the time to check his appearance.
Brian smiled as the door was opened, only to burst out in fits of giggles as he
noticed Mark's looks. Somehow the lad had got smudges of flour on his
face and all the way up to his hair, which didn't look as styled as it had that
morning.
"You know, if you're just gonna laugh at me you
can just turn around and leave!" Mark spoke as he walked back into the
apartment, leaving the door open though to show he wasn't really angry.
By the time Brian made it into the apartment Mark was back in the kitchen,
throwing the charred chicken into the bin as he wiped the tears from his
eyes.
"Shh, it's OK..." Brian gathered the crying
lad in his arms. "Hey, why don't you go take a shower, I'll go get
some take-away. How about some KFC? Seen as you were trying to cook
chicken anyway, I'll get us some from there, the vegs and spuds seem alright so your efforts won't be
a total waste."
"Thanks Bri," Mark smiled, sniffing away
the last of his tears.
"It's no bother." Then, loosening himself
from the hug and running a large hand over Mark's cheek he spoke: "Go on
then, go take a shower, I won't be long."
"Here, take my key, in case I don't hear you ring. And while you're
there, bring us a tub of Malteser ice cream will
ye? I haven't really had a chance to think about dessert..." Mark
blushed.
"Of course I will. I'll be back as soon as I can, yeah?"
Mark nodded and with that Brian was off.
Fifteen minutes later as Mark stood under the shower letting the water cascade
down his body to wash away the tension the phone went
again. Choosing to ignore it Mark turned up the power of the water -
it had been a good idea for Brian to suggest the shower. The ringing
stopped eventually and Mark could hear a voice penetrating from the living
room. Brian must be back, he realised, so he turned of the shower and got
out to dry himself. Putting on a bath robe that was hanging from a small
hook on the door he then made his way out of the bathroom.
"Kian, he's in the... hold on, he's just here," Mark heard Brian say
before he was handed the phone: "Yeah Ki?"
"You alright? You sounded a bit off earlier." Kian's
voice sounded worried and Mark could hear Nicky in the background asking:
"Is he OK then?"
"I'm fine, just a bit of trouble in the kitchen. Speaking of which,
I better go or else the food Brian brought to save our dinner will be ruined
too."
"Alright, enjoy your dinner so and have fun," Kian's voice sounded on
the other end of the line.
"You too. I'll call you tomorrow, alright?"
"OK talk tomorrow," Kian agreed. "Have a nice
evening."
"Yeah goodnight." With that Mark hung up the phone and gave in
to Brian as the tall lad caressed his back through the bathrobe. As the
strong arms sneaked to Mark's front Mark somehow found the willpower to stop
it: "Brian, as much as I like this, we'd better get our food first."
"Of course, you're right," Brian placed a small kiss on the back of
Mark's head, then took the dark-haired lad's hand and led him to the kitchen
where he'd laid out the table and lit two candles he'd discovered in a drawer
in his search for cutlery.
"Impressive," Mark smiled.
"Well you did most of the work, I just laid the
table and got take-away chicken. Now, I guess we better put this all to good use before our dinner's completely gone off..."
Kian
sighed as he put the phone down and turned to Nicky who pulled him to him in a
tight hug.
“I told you he was okay didn’t I?” Nicky whispered.
“I know but I still can’t help worrying about him in his current state of mind.
I’m sure Brian can only be good for him but I still wonder if he’s well you
know.” Kian started and blushed at his thoughts.
“Look Mark’s a grown man Kian with needs like all of us and it can’t be much
fun for him around here with us two at times can it?”
Nicky said kissing Kian softly on the lips.
“I know Nicky but he’s like a member of the family in a way but I guess you’re
right he’s got to make his own way and Brian does seem to be making him really
happy at the minute.”
“That he is and if how nervous and agitated you said he was getting over a
dinner is anything to go by our Mark could be feeling the pangs of love.” Nicky
said winking at Kian and making him smile.
“You know how to get a smile out of me even when I’m grumpy don’t you?”
Nicky just nodded and kissed Kian again. “Now we should think about when we’re going
to have this big party and you are mine forever.”
Nicky joked.
“I’m yours!” Kian said, digging Nicky in the ribs. “I may have said I’ll marry
you but that doesn’t mean you’ll own me right.”
Nicky laughed. “And I can wind you up almost as easily as cheer you up can’t I
lover?”
“Okay fair point so how about we go watch that movie you promised me you’d
watch with me earlier then?”
“Anything you say.” Nicky said with a slight bow in Kian’s direction, ushering
a slap from Kian as they laughed their way to the sofa and switched on the TV.
Back at Mark’s they both sat down and started to tuck into the chicken Brian
had bought together with the veg Mark had managed not
to ruin earlier.
“So you’re not too disappointed?” Mark asked after they had eaten most of the
first course.
“Of course not Mark. It was great of you to go to so much trouble for me.”
Brian said a touch of sadness in his tone which Mark picked up on.
“Hasn’t anyone cooked or well tried to cook for you before then?” Brian shook
his head.
“Well I shall try again to cook for you Brian I promise.”
“You don’t have to Mark I really don’t mind having takeaways or going out.”
“I’ll make sure I ask Nicky about something easy to cook that I can’t ruin. He
seems to have a way with food.”
Brian smiled he had to admire Mark for trying. It was true he hadn’t had
someone make so much of an effort so soon in a relationship but it made him
proud to think someone cared enough about his thoughts to try something they
weren’t good at. Brian got up and took Mark’s empty plate and was heading for
the kitchen.
“I’ll do that.” Mark said standing but Brian shook his head.
“No I can manage dessert and you’ve done so much already tonight so relax.”
Brian said with a big grin.
Mark watched as Brian almost skipped into the kitchen and then he heard a
crashing sound and Brian cursing. Mark was almost up on his feet but didn’t
want to seem as if it was such a big deal if Brian had broken something out
there. After all Mark thought to himself I can buy more dishes. Brian came out
a short time after carrying two bowls of ice cream and still grinning broadly.
Mark raised an eyebrow at him but smiled. He had forgotten he was still only
dressed in a bath robe having not had time to get dressed before Brian had got
back. Brian placed the bowls down and kissed Mark on the lips before taking his
seat.
“And before you start I didn’t break anything.” Brian offered but he had
noticed that the robe Mark was wearing had started to open showing more thigh
than he thought Mark might want to but not wanting to embarrass Mark he said
nothing but tried to shuffle himself slightly on the seat as the glance of
flesh had made his body react. Mark noticed Brian fidgeting but just carried
on. As he looked down at the bowl in front of him which had a good portion of Malteser ice cream in it he noticed his robe and pulled it
back together blushing. It then struck him that Brian may have noticed which
made him blush even more.
“Euro for them?” Brian said innocently having a good idea why he was blushing
anyway.
“I just feel a bit under dressed that’s all.” Mark replied looking into Brian’s
eyes which seemed to be a darker blue than normal.
“I don’t care what you’re wearing or not as long as I can spend time with you.”
Brian said without thinking making Mark blush even more.
“Brian I was saying earlier about wishing you had stayed last night and I um
wondered.” Mark stopped cursing under his breath but he needn’t have worried as
Brian came over and pulled him into a tight hug. Mark could feel how much his
state of dress had affected Brian but leant into the hug that made him feel
safe from everything around him.
“Ssshh now I said I’d stay tonight and I meant it. I
want nothing more than to be curled up in bed with you right now.” Brian said
knowing part of Mark was worried that the invite might make him assume more
than Mark may want right now. Brian knew Mark was in a fragile state over
something which Kian and Nicky knew about and he just hoped Mark might take him
into his confidence one day. Brian felt Mark sigh in his strong arms.
“Thank you. Mark whispered kissing Brian softly on the lips. Brian responded
eagerly and soon the pair had tongues duelling for dominance as the kiss was
rapidly getting out of control. Mark was the first to break the kiss causing
Brian to moan. Mark could feel Brian was very hard now and the kiss had not
left him without an obvious bulge either.
“Now how about we relax and watch some TV before I take you to bed.” Brian said
suggestively but also jokingly.
Mark settled down on the sofa and Brian excused himself to get his overnight
bag out of his car. He was soon back and snuggled up next to Mark.
“I want you to know Mark how much I want you but don’t feel pressured into
anything until you feel its right okay.” Brian said looking deeply into Mark’s
eyes.
“It’s not that I don’t want to Brian, it’s just there are other things I need
to get sorted as well.” Mark replied honestly. Mark then gently placed a hand
over Brian’s bulge and gently squeezed it ushering a deep moan from Brian. “I
will promise to sort this out when we go to bed though.”
Brian kissed the tip of Mark’s nose. “And I’ll do the same for you.”
Later
that evening while they were watching TV Mark was on the verge of dosing off as
he rested his head on Brian's chest. The last few weeks had been
exhausting, more so emotionally than physically but he was beginning to feel
the strain and now feeling so safe and protected as he lay in Brian's arms
sleep began to overcome him. Brian noticed that and softly shook his
boyfriend: "Mark, wake up love, we gotta
get you to bed."
"Mmm, comfy here," Mark mumbled, not
opening his eyes.
"I know babe but it'll be more comfortable in bed. Come on love,
open those gorgeous eyes of yours for me."
"They're not gorgeous," Mark mumbled but forced his eyes open
none-the-less, even if just slightly.
"They are. You are. But I'll convince you of that some other
time, right now I need to get you to bed before you fall asleep
completely," Brian said and stood up, lifting Mark up and carrying him to
where Mark had said the bedroom was earlier on. As he laid Mark down he
softly caressed the dark hair, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
Mark shuffled further onto the bed a bit and patted the space beside him:
"C'mere." Brian did as told and lay
down on the bed, placing a soft, lingering kiss on Mark's full lips. As
Mark responded the kiss got deeper and left neither man unaffected.
Mark's robe fell open because of the movement apart from where it was fastened
but at that point in time he couldn't care less. Brian was distracted too
as he was more concentrating on Mark's face than anything else just then.
Slowly his lips moved away from Mark's mouth only to create a trail of kisses
along his jawbone. It was only when Brian's hand made its way down and
came in contact with Mark's bare thigh that Mark startled and pulled
away. He sat up on the edge of the bed, facing away from Brian as he felt
tears welling in his eyes. Brian knew then that something was wrong and
sat up as well, kneeling behind his boyfriend. He pulled Mark into his
arms: "Shh, it's alright. I told you before, I won't be pushing you into anything you don't
want."
"It's not that I don't want it, Bri. It's
just... I've just got a lot of my mind at the moment - you understand
that, don't you?"
"I do and I wish I could help but I don't know how - not until you tell me
what exactly is wrong."
"I don't know where to start," Mark sighed.
"Anywhere," Brian suggested, "if you think you forgot a bit you
can always add it."
Mark nodded, sniffing the last of his tears away. "OK. But I'm
going to get changed for bed first, alright?"
"Alright love, take your time. I'll just go in the other room and
change too, I'll wait in there until you're ready,
OK?" With that Brian got off the bed and gave his boyfriend a soft
kiss, then left the room as he felt Mark needed a few moments to compose
himself.
He got his overnight bag out of the living room on his way to the guest room
and sat down on the single bed. As he bent down to change his boxers he
noticed a glimps of something lying under the
bed. He picked it up, finding it was a folder when some of the papers it
contained fell out. After pulling his fresh pair of boxers up he knelt
down to clean up the mess. While picking the papers up off the floor
Brian couldn't help skimming them with his eyes and
what he saw blew him away. Mark had never mentioned writing poems or songtexts before but still that was exactly what was on the
papers. With the papers still in hand Brian sat down and started reading
them, suddenly drawn to the paper somehow even though he felt he shouldn't read
these.
Just as he was about to put the papers in the folder again Mark walked in,
stopping in his tracks as he saw Brian holding the folder. Suddenly
feeling exposed Mark quickly turned around, but not fast enough as Brian had
seen the look of vulnerability on Mark's face and was on his feet in a second:
"Mark..."
"Brian, don't," Mark shrugged off the hand as soon as it landed on
his shoulder.
"Mark please, listen to me. I found these by accident,
I didn't mean to read..."
"But you did read them, Brian," Mark stated the obvious, his voice
slightly faltering as he tried to hold back the tears. "No one has
seen those, Brian, ever. That folder is for me and me alone, not even
Kian has seen those - he's seen some of my stuff but not those..."
"But they're good, Mark, the few I've seen. They're..."
"Personal, private. They're personal," Mark interrupted,
walking past Brian and took the folder, placing it in the bedside cabinet and
locking the drawer.
"Mark, please. You can keep those poems locked away but you can't
lock away your heart forever."
"I can. I don't want to be hurt again, Brian," Mark sobbed and
sank down on the bed.
"I won't hurt you, Mark. But you have to let me in.
Please?"
"Look, Brian, I told you about my stage fright, you remember that?
The first night..."
"Yeah. And?"
"And you know my dad died. But there's something you don't
know." Mark took a deep breath as he tried to compose himself, Brian
meanwhile wisely kept quiet. Eventually Mark continued: "My...
My dad... He wanted me to sing at the funeral."
"Didn't he know? About the stage fright I mean," Brian asked.
"He knew. Kian reckons it was his way of trying to help me - you
know, as he couldn't while he was... well, here..."
"He's still here, you know? He's still with you, in your heart."
"Maybe. But then why do I feel like I failed him even though
everyone tells me it's not too late?" Mark asked, tears threatening
again. Brian carefully moved closer, sitting down on the bed and letting
Mark cry in his arms. Then as Mark calmed down he untangled himself from
the hug. "Look, those poems you found earlier, I'm not ready to show
anyone them. I know you saw a few," he added as Brian opened his
mouth, "but I'm really not ready for that at all at this point so please,
don't ask."
Brian nodded. "Thanks for trusting me. The stuff about your
dad I mean. But can I ask how you got your stage fright?" Mark
shook his head. "Alright, no worries. I'll tell you about mine
then if you want to know."
"If you want to tell me, I do want to know."
"Alright," Brian shuffled a bit on the bed until he had his back
against the wall. Mark sat down on the bed crossed-legged.
"For me it started at a school musical. I must have been about 6 and
at an all boy school and of course I HAD to be picked as one of the
'girls'. The leading girl even - can you imagine me as Snow White?
During all of my school years I never saw the end of it, especially not when
someone I went to school with then saw me kissing another boy in Leaving Cert
year. Said something like: oh now I know why you wanted to play Snow
White so bad! My then-boyfriend pushed me away when he heard that and
wouldn't let me near him. I was bullied a lot then too - well, more than
before and once I got my Leaving Cert I moved to the other end of the City and
thankfully no one's come near me again from there. With the bullying in
the past I went to an open mic night in some pub -
same pub where we met by the way - and I just felt drawn to the stage. I
was dead-scared of embarrassing myself but one quiet night I risked it and the
people there loved it so now I'm playing there every week I'm not working the
late shift. So that's my story."
"Wow" was all Mark could say.
"Not wow. You can do it too, Mark. You just need a bit of
confidence. But you're tired, let's just go to bed now and we'll take
care of the confidence bit some other time, OK?"
Mark nodded and the pair of them made their way back to the master bedroom and
cuddled up together under the sheets. "Thanks Brian. For
everything."
"Don't worry about it. Goodnight love," Brian whispered.
Soon both men were fast asleep...
Nicky
had spent ages trying to think of a good place to take Kian to celebrate their
engagement and then it hit him that Kian wouldn’t really care where they were
as long as they had time together. From time to time Nicky and Kian had talked
about a visit to the
Kian had been told by Nicky to make sure he could get the Friday and Monday off
work for their trip away but hadn’t got a clue where they were going. He had
started to put a few things in a case ready and was starting to get excited
about the prospect of time alone with Nicky. A small doubt nagged at the back
of his mind about Mark but he knew Brian was there for Mark now and that both himself and Nicky were just on the other end of a phone if
all else failed. Kian also knew it was important for him and Nicky too even
though they had now been together a while.
Thursday evening came and Kian was putting the final few things together in his
case and had noticed that Nicky’s was already packed and locked which surprised
him knowing how many times Nicky had left things to the last minute. Kian still
had no idea where they were going but it didn’t matter anymore to him as he
would find out the next day.
Kian picked up his phone to give Mark a quick call. “Hi Mark you got a few
minutes?”
“Sure Kian you all packed?”
“Yeah just hope I’ve thought of everything.”
Mark laughed “I’m sure you have Kian. Do you know where Nicky’s taking you
yet?”
“No idea but don’t care I suppose it will just be good to see somewhere
different for a few days.”
“You both deserve the break Kian and I’ve not helped.” Mark said a slight sadness
in his tone.
“Don’t say that Mark. You know we both wouldn’t have had it any other way and
one of the reasons we’ve picked now is that you’re feeling better about stuff
now.”
“It doesn’t stop me feeling a bit guilty though especially as I nearly broke the
pair of you up.”
“Well if you had it would have proved we weren’t meant to be together anyway.”
Nicky had been listening to the conversation without Kian knowing and feeling
like he shouldn’t be really but it brought home a few things to him about him silly
he had been as it was obvious Kian felt deeply for Mark. Nicky was almost
tempted to tell Kian where they were going but loved the sense of control he
had for a little while anyway.
“Any Mark will have to go but you know if you need to just call us don’t you?”
“I know Kian but I can cope without you you know.
Have a great time and can’t wait to hear all about it next week.”
“Yeah will do Mark. You and Brian will have to come out with Nicky and me next
week so we can tell you about it – well maybe not all the details.” Kian said
laughing.
Mark coughed knowing full well what details Kian meant. “See ya next week then.” Mark concluded. “Anyway gotta go Brian and I are off to the cinema.”
“Okay bye.”
Kian could tell by the tone of Mark’s voice that he was happy. Before he could
turn around he felt two arms around his waist and felt a kiss on his neck.
“How long have you been there?” Kian asked turning to face his fiancé.
“Long enough to guess you were talking to Mark.” Was all Nicky replied.
“I’ve invited him and Brian out with us next week when we get back.”
“Fine we can make them blush with our tales of lust
and love making.” Nicky joked.
Kian gave a look at Nicky that was half is he serious and half of course love.
Nicky kissed Kian softly on the lips. “Anyway we better have an early night as
we have an early flight in the morning.” Nicky said.
The next morning Kian and Nicky only just made it to the airport on time and it
was then that Kian found out they were off to
A couple of hours later and Nicky and Kian were waiting for taxi to take them
to their hotel. Kian still had not idea where they were staying or what Nicky
had planned but he couldn’t wait to find out. When the taxi pulled up outside
the Hilton Hotel Kian gasped. It was one of the more exclusive hotels in
When they were inside and alone Kian pulled Nicky to him and kissed him gently.
“Thank you so much.”
Nicky smiled. “I’m glad you like it.”
Kian looked around at the massive area they had. “How could I not love this
Nicky? You shouldn’t have spent so much you know.”
“I know.” Nicky started. “But I wanted to make this something to remember and
spoil you for a change so get unpacked and we can decide what to do first.”
It didn’t take long to unpack and soon Kian and Nicky were curled up on the
sofa in their living area looking through the literature Nicky had arranged to
be there on what to do and where to go.
“Okay.” Nicky said. “It’s your choice Kian. Whatever you want to do for the
rest of the day. Then tonight we can have a nice meal and either the cinema or
soothing if you’d like or maybe a club.”
Kian kissed Nicky once more. “I just don’t know Nicky. I hadn’t realised there
was so much to see here. I knew there were shops but all these other
attractions.”
“Anything for you love. So what do you fancy?” Nicky
said with a wink.
“Well we could just stay here and explore the rooms we have.” Kian said
cuddling closer to Nicky. “But that would waste a nice day so how about we try
and get on the London Eye and then have a bit of time here to get ready before
going out?”
“Sounds great to me.” Nicky replied, happy that Kian had finally decided on
something.
There was a long queue when they got to the London Eye but it looked impressive
and seemed to be moving quite quickly so they waited. Finally it came to their
turn an hour or so later and the entered one of the capsules. Kian had brought
a camera with him and as the wheel slowly turned was taking pictures and
gasping at the view they got across the
“This was great idea of yours.” Nicky whispered as they reached the top.
Once they finally made it back down to earth again. Kian had suggested they go
back to the hotel via
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Kian asked as they walked hand in hand through
the park.
“If I’m with you I don’t care where we are.” Nicky replied wistfully.
“I love you Nicky Byrne.”
“And I love you Kian Egan.”
“Okay let’s make track back to the hotel to get ready.” Kian said a short while
later. “Then perhaps you could show me around our large room.”
“I’d rather just direct you towards the large bed.” Nicky whispered huskily.
At
that precise moment on the other side of the Irish Sea Brian stood waiting for
Mark, who was due to finish work any second now - it had been his turn for
detention duty so when Brian finished his shift at 4 PM he had decided to go
meet his boyfriend at the school and start the weekend properly, especially as
Brian himself also had a rare weekend off. He hadn't been
prepared though to see Mark come outside looking pale and about to cry -
something must have happened.
As Mark reached Brian the tall Dubliner wanted to put his arms around him and
comfort the other lad but Mark shook his head: "Don't touch."
Just then a boy came riding out of the school
gate. As he drove by the pair and spotted Brian he shouted: "Hey
mister, don't stand to close to Touchy Feehily, he'll
infect you too." With that he rounded a corner and was out of sight.
"What's the kid talking about?" Brian asked.
"Forget it," Mark shook his head.
"No Mark, he upset you, I can't just forget about that."
"Brian, please," Mark pleaded. "I will tell you but not
here, alright?"
"OK, wanna come to my place so?" Brian offered. Mark nodded to
that and the pair of them made their way to Brian's place.
"So now will you tell me what all that at the school was about?"
Brian asked as he handed Mark a cup of tea.
"'t Was nothing," Mark shrugged.
"If it was nothing you wouldn't have been upset, Mark," Brian
reasoned. "Please babe, tell me what's wrong?"
"His parents saw us in the restaurant - let's just say he found out about
me being gay and then he and some other kids started taunting me about that,
saying I was a queer and a... a disgrace to my father."
"Fuckers!" Brian swore.
"They didn't know any better," Mark shook his head. "They
didn't know my father died, they didn't know why I wasn't at school for over a
month. But as you can imagine it did hurt so they came up with me being
touchy, hence the nickname he gave me."
"You didn't let them get away with that, did you?"
"I almost did," Mark admitted, "but one of my colleagues had
witnessed the scene and put them all for detention for the whole of next week,
then took over the class so I could go calm down and freshen up before the next
class came in."
"Nice colleague."
"Yeah she is," Mark smiled. "She also told the class what
happened to my father and a lot of them came to apologize afterwards, they
hadn't known. But O'Reilley had detention today
and he used the whole hour to try and make me cry, making all sorts of comments
of how my being gay was the cause of my dad's death. I didn't cry in
front of him but if it had lasted just a minute longer..."
Brian had a fair clue what would have happened from the tears he saw
threatening in Mark's eyes earlier and just wrapped his arms around the younger
man. "He doesn't know a thing."
"But he's not the only one who's said I'm a failure. My aunt got so
angry with me when I couldn't sing for my dad - I've not even forgiven
myself for that, I can't help feeling I failed him so how can I expect anyone
else to be OK with it?"
"Mark," Brian sighed, "it's not too late yet. Look, we'll
just take it step by step but you will be able to sing for your dad. It's
only me here, why don't you try singing something for me?"
"I can't," Mark shook his head.
"Of course you can. You just need to relax. When do you feel
comfortable singing?"
"When there's no one around."
"I'll just disappear then," Brian smiled and stood up, flicking off
the light to bring darkness to the room.
"Brian? Brian! This isn't funny, Brian..." Not
getting any reply Mark figured that was Brian's way of disappearing.
He sighed. "So you really want me to sing then huh?"
Again no reply. "It's not that easy, Brian. Turn the light
back on, please?" Brian did as told and sat down next to his
boyfriend again, pulling him into a hug.
"I think Kian was right," Brian spoke up after a few moments.
"I think your dad did want to help you with your stage fright and that's
why he asked you to sing."
"How do you reckon?" Mark asked.
"Well, I'm sure you love singing or you wouldn't get so worked up about
it, I've never heard you use the excuse of hating to sing, and you wouldn't
have written those songs if you didn't have some sort of feel for the
music."
"Songtexts, poems. I can't put them to
music so they'll never really be proper songs."
"I can help you with that?"
"Kian's already trying. We wrote some stuff together in the past..."
"So that means you can sing for him,"
"I've known Kian practically forever," Mark explained. "He
was practising the piano once and I found myself singing along. It happened
by accident when we were alone at his house. He was trying to write songs
himself but he was struggling to put words to them. I've always had
a feel for words so we just tried to work on something together."
"So you don't trust me enough?" Brian asked, feeling hurt.
"Don't take this the wrong way, Brian. It's not that I don't trust
you, it's just... I don't want to let you down."
"The only way you could let me down, Mark, is by giving up. Just
promise me you'll give it a try," Brian pleaded.
"I will. Now can we please stop talking about this?" Mark
asked.
"Of course. You had anything specific in mind you wanted to do
instead?" Brian asked, running a hand up and down Mark's thigh having a
fair idea what the lad might have in mind.
"I think you know" - Mark gasped - "what I mean."
With that Mark pulled Brian closer for a kiss, making their lips hungrily crash
together. Brian's large hands roamed Mark's body, touching as much skin
as he could manage with Mark still having his clothes on. He didn't want
to rush things and scare Mark away so just kept the touch light and
concentrated on kissing the dark-haired lad. Soon the eroticity
became too much for both men and Mark, lost in the feelings, was begging Brian
to bring him off.
Brian ran a finger along the edge of Mark's trousers. "You sure this
is OK?" Mark nodded and Brian eased the button through the hole,
slowly opening the fly of Mark's trousers, giving the younger lad plenty of
time to reconsider but all it got him was that Mark impatiently thrusted his hips upward and hissed: "Move
please." It was all Brian could do to lower Mark's trousers and
boxers and wrap his hand around the other man's penis as he kissed him
deeply. It didn't take long for Mark to reach the edge and topple over
it, feeling better than he had in a long time.
Brian meanwhile took matters into his own hands and came soon after as he
looked at Mark's breathless figure lying on the couch. As the pair of
them came down from their highs Mark couldn't help smiling and softly kissed
his lover. "Thank you," he whispered as the kiss ended.
Brian looked up at the other lad just to see him trying to stiffle
a yawn but failing so Brian stood up and wordlessly led Mark to the bedroom
where they snuggled up to each other as sleep claimed them both.
As
it turned out by the time Kian and Nicky got back to the hotel there wasn’t
much time for anything other than washing and changing before their evening
out. In a way Nicky was disappointed but they had two more days so they had
plenty of time and after all it was partly about what Kian wanted to do as
well. Kian and Nicky walked along the main street looking at various places to
eat and finally found an Italian that looked great and was close to several
clubs they could go onto later. Fortunately they had a few spare tables so Kian
and Nicky were able to go straight in.
“I forgot we’d probably have to book in advance.” Kian said as they sat down.
“We’ll have to think about that for the next few days.”
“Tomorrow’s all taken care of” Nicky replied. “And on Sunday we can eat in the
hotel.”
“Mmm sounds like you are fairly organised already.”
Kian chirped. “So what do you fancy?”
The wink from Nicky made that obvious but Kian ignored it and continued to look
at the menu. Finally they decided and ordered. They chatted about various
things and plans for the near future. Nicky avoided several subjects which made
Kian a little anxious but he let it go as they were having a great time.
A couple of hours later they left the restaurant to check out the clubs but as
they had no idea which one they decided to check out a pub down the road and see
if they could pick up on anything from people in there.
Inside the pub was crowded with mostly men it seemed and it didn’t take the
pair long to realise they had managed to find a gay pub much to their amusement
which got strange looks as they burst out laughing. Actually though for Kian it
was a first and he was pleasantly surprised at how comfortable he felt with
what other gays couples were doing there and in a way
it just made him feel closer to Nicky. Kian kissed Nicky on the lips surprising
him a little at the public display of affection from him but he responded
eagerly.
When they parted Nicky asked. “So what was that for?”
“Just because I love you.” Kian replied a goofy smile on his face.
“I’ll show you later how much I love you.” Nicky said with a wicked grin on his
face.
“Promises, promises.” Teased Kian.
“You know better than to dare me now Kian.” Nicky warned and Kian tried to look
innocently back at him. Then they both burst out laughing again which attracted
the attention of a couple close to them who came over and started chatting.
After an hour it was suggested the go onto the GAY club so Kian and Nicky said
why not and followed the couple there. Even though they were expecting it to be
a GAY club the pair hadn’t reckoned on there being live bands playing or it
being so crowded.
Both men though enjoyed the evening and were still relatively sober by the time
they made their way to the hotel in the early hours of Saturday morning. As
they made their way to their room both gave each other soft kisses but neither
making it sexual just full of love for the other. By the time they got to their
room both men were clearly affected by each others attention.
Nicky made sure the door was firmly closed and the “Do Not Disturb” sign hung
and took Kian’s hand and led him to the large bed. Slowly Nicky undressed Kian
and pushed him onto the bed so he could watch him get undressed. Both kept
almost constant eye contact and it was clear both men loved each other deeply.
Nicky had made plans for this weekend which he hoped Kian would also feel ready
for and tonight though he just wanted to make Kian feel special. Kian had
shuffled up the bed and was now laid on the pillow watching Nicky removed his
final bit of clothing to stand naked in front of him. Kian couldn’t help but
let his eyes wander up and down taking in the sight that he knew was going to
be his for a lifetime.
Nicky lingered, allowing Kian to look at him before moving to the end of the
bed and slowly kissing his way up Kian’s legs feeling his body shiver at his
touch and loving every minute. Avoiding the one area that both needed release
for he kissed his way to Kian’s lips and kissed him still gently but with
enough passion to show his desire. Nicky ground his hips against Kian’s causing
friction on both their groins. Kian couldn’t help but growl in an almost animal
manner. His whole body felt like it was going to explode.
Nicky continued kissing Kian whilst moving his hips against Kian’s feeling that
both weren’t gong to last much longer. Still no words had been spoken and none
were needed as Nicky worked their bodies until both men tensed and gasped as
their orgasms hit almost simultaneously. Keeping up the momentum a while longer
Nicky could feel Kian relax as he came down from his high. Carefully Nicky slid
off Kian and got some tissues to clean both of them up.
As Nicky got back in bed beside Kian, Kian turned. “I didn’t think that I could
feel so loved and wanted as I did just now with you.”
Nicky kissed Kian. “Well this is just the beginning. And if you’re ready I want
to take you to a new high.”
Kian looked puzzled for a moment but then realised what Nicky was asking. He
was surprised that the thought of full gay sex wasn’t filling him with a dread
anymore more a sense of wonder at how it would feel.
“I’m ready.” Kian sighed as he yawned feeling tired
after his long day.
Nicky kissed the end of Kian’s nose. “Then my love I
promise to make you feel like you’ve never done before but now sleep.”
Almost immediately both men fell into a deep sleep. Nicky was dreaming of what
was to come later that day and Kian well Kian was wondering what it was going
to feel like and if the rumours about feeling at one were really true.
It
was early morning when Brian woke up - well, early for the rare chance he got
to sleep in, it was 8AM. As he wanted to turn around he felt someone else in
the bed so more carefully he moved around so as not to wake Mark who was still
fast asleep. Again he couldn't believe how lucky he had been to find the
younger lad as he took in the other boy's features, the long dark lashes, the slight pink tinge that coloured up the lad's cheeks, the
dark hair all so gorgeous. He kept watching a while longer but then he got
restless, not used to staying in bed once he was up. Careful not to wake his
boyfriend he got out of bed and into the bathroom to freshen up a bit. When he
came back from his shower Mark was still fast asleep so as quietly as he could
manage he padded to the kitchen, putting on the kettle for some tea and then
trying to decide whether or not to wake the other lad. Knowing full well Mark
could probably do with the sleep he decided to give him just that and closed
the bedroom door before taking his guitar and rehearsing the songs he had
planned to sing the next day.
It was a while later when Mark woke up from the soft sound of a guitar being
played in the next room. He stayed in bed a while longer listening to the music
before he decided to get up and join Brian in the living room. Quickly putting
on his t-shirt and boxers he went in search of his jeans too, finding them in a
crumpled heap next to the bed. He quickly put them on, then
went to the bathroom to wash his face before he walked into the living room.
"'Morning," he greeted his boyfriend.
"Top o' the morning to you too," Brian put his guitar down and
smiled, getting up to give his lover a proper good-morning kiss. "I didn't
wake you, did I?"
Mark shook his head: "Not really. I heard the guitar when I woke up but it
was about time I was up anyway I reckon, don't know what time it is
exactly."
"Quarter past eleven," Brian spoke. "You want breakfast?"
"More like brunch now but yes please. You didn't have to wait for me to
eat though," Mark commented, now feeling guilty for staying in bed so
long.
"I wanted to. I'm afraid I've not got much in the house though but if you
want we can go out for breakfast, I know a very nice little place not too far
from here," Brian suggested.
As said, as done and soon the pair found themselves in a small café by the Liffey having their breakfast. It was only a tiny little
place but Brian had chosen well, the staff were friendly and the atmosphere was
nice, reminding Mark of home as for some reason the café seemed to belong in a
smaller town instead of in the capital. It was nicely decorated too in warm
friendly colours instead of all white and metal and glass like the more modern
places. Mark didn't know how the other lad did it but Brian seemed to have a
nose for the nicer old-fashioned places where anyone could feel at home rather
than be afraid to break the glass table by putting down their cup.
"So what's the plan for the rest of today?" Mark asked as they
finished their breakfast.
"Well, you've got me curious with your talk about that place in
"I'd like to go home if you really don't mind -" Mark started but
Brian interrupted: "I wouldn't offer if I did mind, Mark. So you want to
go back to
"Yeah, just let me call mum and see if it's OK with her, then we can
go." With that Mark took his mobile and went outside to call his mum.
By the time he got back Brian had gone to pay and the pair of them made their
way back to Brian's place so he could pack some stuff for the night and a
change of clothes for the next day, then they went to Mark's so he in turn
could change his clothes and grab a small bag with the necessities before
heading over to Connolly train station.
About four hours later the pair landed on the Feehilys'
doorstep. Marie Feehily opened the door just seconds
after the taxi had pulled in the driveway and hugged her eldest son. Eventually
Mark managed to break free from the hug: "Good to see you again too mum!
Anyway, this is Brian," he gestured to the man beside him. "Brian, my
mum."
"Nice to meet you ma'am," Brian reached out his hand to the woman.
"Well it's nice to meet a young man with some manners for a change. The
last lad my Mark brought home was..."
"MUM!" Mark interrupted. He did not need to be reminded of the
cheating bastard that was his ex-boyfriend.
"Anyway," Marie just smiled, "it's good to know there's someone
looking after my boy in big bad
"She's a real mother hen isn't she?" Brian commented smiling as he
and Mark made their way inside.
"Just a bit," Mark shrugged. Opening the door to the living room he
smiled as he spotted his youngest brother Colin playing on the PS2. He closed
the door again quietly: "He doesn't like to be disturbed when he's
playing. I'll just go tell my mum we'll be up in my room." As said as done
and soon the pair found themselves in Mark's bedroom at the back of the house.
For a little while Mark just stood staring out the open window, breathing in
the clean country air. As he felt Brian moving closer and wrapping his arms
around him from behind, Mark leant into the touch: "Ye
know, I love this view. Have done ever since I got this room. You see
that green barn in the corner of the yard? It used to be just plain wood but
one summer dad let me and Barry paint it - he did most of it himself I have to
admit but at the time Barry and I told everyone we did it ourselves and he let
us, thought it'd do us good to get recognition for our work."
"Your dad sounds like a great guy," Brian smiled. "And he did a
great job raising a son like you too," he added as Mark turned around.
With the two lovers being so close Brian's lips caressed Mark's cheeks as he
spoke and Mark tilted his head slightly to meet the touch.
Before the pair could get too comfortable though there was a knock on the door
and someone announced: "Dinner's ready!"
It
was after 10am when the Nicky started to wake the next morning but he didn’t
mind that they might miss most of the morning as Nicky knew it was going to be
a very late night tonight. Seeing there didn’t seem to be any stirring from
Kian Nicky decided to write a small note of instructions ready for later when he
disappeared. Nicky knew Kian might worry when he did but he had one final thing
to do before tonight and it had to be done alone. Sliding out of the bed
quietly Nicky went over to the table and took the paper provided and began to
write out his instructions. When he had finished he placed it in an envelope
and put Kian’s name on it and slipped it into his case for later.
Kian started to stir from his sleep almost forgetting that they were away.
Turning he felt a cold space next to him and almost jumped up.
“Morning sexy.” Nicky called from the chair he had been watching Kian from
since he had finished his letter.
“Why didn’t you wake me?” Kian said when he noticed the time.
“You looked so peaceful there it seemed criminal.” Nicky said softly coming
over and kissing his fiancé.
“So what shall we do today?”
“How about we take in a few sights for a few hours and get back early so we can
get ready?” Nicky suggested.
“Sounds good to me.” Kian said pulling Nicky on top of him for a leisurely
kiss.
When they finally broke Nicky had almost changed his mind about going out. “Now
what was that for?”
“Can’t I give the man I love a good morning kiss?” Kian said innocently knowing
full well how much it had affected both him and Nicky.
For the rest of the morning and afternoon Nicky and Kian took in the sights and
had light lunch so that the meal later would not be spoiled. It wasn’t until
later when they got back to the room that Nicky started to feel guilty about
what he just about to do.
Kissing Kian on the lips Nicky spoke. “How about you go have a nice long bath
first and I’ll lay out yours stuff?” Kian was going to argue but saw the pout
on Nicky’s face and agreed.
Almost as soon as Kian had gone into the bathroom Nicky laid out Kian’s suit,
shirt etc and the note on top so that he was sure Kian would find it. Then
quickly gathering his stuff and laying it on the bed he quietly left the room
to finish off his surprise. Once downstairs he talked to the manager to
organise the special surprise and make sure he would keep Kian occupied whilst
Nicky nipped back to their room and showered and changed.
Kian came out of the bathroom half an hour later to find no sign of Nicky and
his face fell. He could see Nicky’s stuff on the bed but it didn’t make him
feel any better. Then he spotted his stuff and the envelope. Picking it up Kian
saw it was in Nicky’s handwriting and opened it.
**I know this is going to look bad Kian but believe me I wouldn’t have left you
alone if it wasn’t for an important mission. Please forgive me and just get
ready and head downstairs. If you ask for the manager he will take you to our
special room for our special dinner. I know this doesn’t make any sense to you
but I have a surprise for you and now was the only time I could organise it. I
know that sounds daft me telling you but now I don’t want you to think I’m
deserting you far from it. Now I’m rambling so please Kian for me just get ready and I’ll be with you before you know it.
Love you forever
Nicky
xxx**
Kian wasn’t happy but he knew the only way to find out what Nicky’s surprise
was was to follow his instructions so as much as he
wanted to kiss Nicky and make him wish they hadn’t arranged dinner he just got
dressed and went downstairs. Kian asked for the manager as instructed and when
he told him who he was the manager smiled and went in the back room, telling
Nicky it would soon be clear for him he got the key and took Kian to their
private dining room.
Kian couldn’t believe it when he was shown inside. It was lit by some low
lights and had a small table in the centre which was far too big for the tow of
them but had been laid out like it was fit for a king. Kian had to smile Nicky
had gone to a lot of trouble. The manager asked if he could get Kian anything
and Kian decided a pre meal drink would be in order so went for a beer as he
didn’t want to get too drunk.
Meanwhile Nicky had braved the lift to get upstairs quickly to out his surprise
in place and get himself ready. The bedroom was
transfixed into a low lit sensual room with candles around that Nicky had asked
to be lit just before they came back up. Once satisfied Nicky quickly showered
and dressed and went to meet Kian.
As Nicky walked in Kian wanted to tell him off but on seeing how gorgeous he
looked in his suit he just pulled him close and kissed him. The meal was
fabulous and both felt like they wouldn’t be able to move after it. A special
cake had been brought with their coffee to celebrate their engagement and Kian
thought this must be what Nicky was organising earlier but Nicky shook his
head.
“So what is the surprise?” Kian asked as they danced slowly to some music in
the room.
“Patience my love.” Nicky replied. “All will be revealed soon.”
Finally Nicky took Kian’s hand and led him towards the reception and back to
their room. A sign from the manager showed that by the time they got back all
would be ready. Kian saw the looks and raise an
eyebrow at Nicky who just smiled. Kian was then surprised when Nicky went
towards the lift as he knew how much he hated them.
Once inside Nicky pulled Kian to him and kissed him slowly and sensually until
they reached their floor. All Kain’s thought of early
disappeared as his fiancé was more than making up for his earlier absence.
Nicky guided Kian to the room and as soon as the door was closed, the do not
disturb sign on it Kian was led to the bedroom. Nicky could hardly keep his
excitement hidden as he opened the door and stood back for Kian to see inside.
Kian was struck dumb at the sight. So this was what Nicky was up to earlier. “I
love you so much.” Kian whispered as Nicky took him inside and closed the door.
Breaking contact for the first time Nicky turned Kian so that he could watch
whilst he slowly removed his clothes and stroked his already hardening cock.
Nicky could see Kian’s eyes darken as he took in the sight. Nicky then moved
and slowly removed all of Kian’s clothes before kissing him once more on the
lips.
Nicky then led Kian around and guided him to where he wanted him on the bed.
Then reaching in the drawer for his supplies Nicky turned his attention back to
Kian. Whilst fingers caressed parts of Kian’s body Nicky’s lips kissed, sucked
and licked at others until Kian’s moans were almost animalistic. Nicky knew he
didn’t want things to end too soon so he stopped before Kian was to far gone.
Leaning back Nicky wondered what Kian was thinking right now but didn’t have
long to wait as Kian repeated the treatment he had just got on Nicky until
Nicky thought he was going to come on the spot.
At this point Nicky made his final demand. “I want to make love to you Kian.”
Kian sat up and shivered worrying Nicky. “What’s up?” Nicky asked.
“You know I’ve never done it.” Kian replied softly and then he felt two arms
encircle him from behind. Nicky noticed that his suggestion seemed to have
dampened Kian’s state of arousal.
“Do you think I want to hurt you Kian?”
“I know you don’t but..” Kian felt himself be pushed
back down on the bed and Nicky started once more to kiss Kian.
“I will make sure you are ready and if at any point you want me to stop you know
I will.” Nicky encouraged as he kissed and sucked Kian’s nipples making them
hard. Moving down Nicky’s attention turned to Kian’s cock as he sucked and
licked it until it hardened. Nicky moved back to Kian’s lips.
“Okay.” Kian gasped.
Nicky took the lube and covered the fingers of one hand. With the other he
gently lifted Kian’s legs to give him access to his entrance. Bending down
Nicky’s tongue came out and licked around Kian’s balls and then lower to his entrance. Kian could feel Nicky’s toungue circling him until he felt it push deeper. Kian
tensed and immediately Nicky removed his tongue and rubbed Kian gently to sooth
him. When he felt Kian relax again Nicky moved his fingers to Kian’s entrance
and slowly rubbed them around until he was sure Kian was relaxed again then he
slowly pushed one finger in. Kian felt so tight Nicky wasn’t sure he was going
to last.
Nicky moved the finger in and out until he could feel Kian start to move with
him. He added a second and scissored them hearing
Kian scream when he hit his prostate. Kian wasn’t quite sure about the feeling
which was half pain and half pleasure but he trusted Nicky. Nicky added a third
finger and could feel Kian opening for him and knew he was ready. Keeping up
the movement Nicky leaned forward. “You’re ready Kian so it’s up to you?”
“I want you inside me.” Kian gasped now feeling as if his cock was going to
explode any second.
Nicky quickly removed his fingers and placed his cock at Kian’s entrance.
Slowly he pushed a short distance inside and stopped to give Kian time to
adjust. Kian’s head buzzed at the feeling. Nicky was inside him and although it
was a little painful he felt as if they were truly one now. “Move.” Kian
sighed. Nicky didn’t need telling twice and slowly began to thrust into Kian
each time going deeper until he was completely inside.
Nicky felt amazing. He had waited so long for this but could never have
imagined how it would feel to be one with his lover. Once he had got a rhythm
Nicky took hold of Kian’s hard cock and pumped it in time with his thrusts
wanting so much for them to come together. Keeping the slow pace Nicky could
feel Kian started to tense which brought him close too. With a loud shout Kian
came hard over Nicky’s hand and his stomach followed closely by Nicky.
Both men panted heavily as Nicky thrust a few more
times and then slipped out of Kian pulling him close as he flopped on the bed
beside him. Kian suddenly felt empty and almost disappointed. Nicky kissed Kian
on the lips softly and whispered. “Thank you. I love you so much.”
“Love you too.” Kian replied and yawned his body suddenly feeling drained.
“Sleep now.” Nicky said and cuddled close.
It was the next morning early that the pair awoke stuck together from their
love making the night before. “We’d better have a shower.” Nicky said with a
wink.
Kian didn’t need telling twice as he followed Nicky into the bathroom. It
wasn’t long before the washing was forgotten and the kisses and strokes took
over. Kian felt confident now as he pushed Nicky against the wall and lowered
himself until he was level with his groin. Taking Nicky in his mouth Kian
sucked and licked and teased Nicky until he was on the edge and then he
stopped. Nicky grunted. “Tease.” But before he could say anymore Kian took him
once more in his mouth and sucked him until he came hard. Kian spluttered a bit
as he tried to take what he could.
Nicky pulled Kian up and kissed him hard so that he could share the taste. For
the rest of the morning they continued teasing and playing with each other, making
each other come until the felt completely spent.
“Do you want to bother going out at all today?” Nicky finally asked.
“We’d better get some fresh air I think.” Kian said.
So for the rest of the day they wandered around in the sunshine, occasional
kisses when no one was looking until it was time to eat. They went back to the
hotel had another shower and went downstairs to eat. Kian made sure they packed
once they got back back to the room as they had an
early flight the next morning. As much as both didn’t want the weekend to end
it had and it had brought them closer together.
The alarm went off too early for Nicky but he was glad they didn’t have to pack
and could spend a bit of time with each other before going back to the daily
routine. For the first time both wondered what sort of weekend Mark had had.
“So we’ll have some storied to tell to Mark then.” Nicky joked as they sat on
the plane.
“Don’t you dare go into details Nicky.” Kian warned.
“Spoilsport.” Nicky said pouting.
“Look there are some things only we should share.”
Kian said noticing the smirk on Nicky’s face and thumping him.
“You are so easy to wind up sometimes Kian but that why I love you so much.”
“And you can be so infuriating sometimes but I wouldn’t change that.”
A couple of hours later they were home once more.
That
same Sunday morning over in Sligo Mark was woken up in the nicest way possible
as he found Brian placing small kisses on his face. "'Morning,"
he managed to say before pulling Brian close for a proper good morning kiss.
"I missed you," Brian whispered as the kiss ended.
"I haven't been gone," Mark said confused.
"Well, no but I missed you while you were sleeping."
"I didn't sleep that long, did I? What time is it?"
"Quarter to 11. I've been up since 8," Brian answered, which
resulted in Mark jolting up in the bed and getting out faster than he'd ever
had, cursing as he went in search of his clothes. "Whoa there, hold yer horses, what's up?"
"I overslept, Bri, thought I'd set the alarm
clock..."
"You did, it's what woke me up."
"What?" Mark asked, "Why didn't you wake me then?"
"It's a Sunday, thought you might like to sleep in," Brian explained.
"God Bri..." Mark sighed. "Any
other Sunday that would have been so true but today I meant to get up early,
show you some places around here."
"We've still got time. The last train's at
7 tonight, we've got the whole afternoon."
"But then you can't go to the open mic
tonight," Mark said, feeling guilty for sleeping in and thereby messing
everything up.
"I can miss it once, I've been to plenty of
these. Right now I'd rather just spend some time with
you," Brian said, sitting down on the bed. "C'mere."
Mark willingly obliged and went to sit with Brian, who in turn pulled his
boyfriend into a comforting hug. "Shh,
it's alright," he hushed as he felt Mark was down and on the verge of
crying. "Don't think you messed anything up, you didn't. Look,
why don't you just take a nice shower, calm yourself down, we'll go for
breakfast somewhere in town and then we can go see those places you'd planned
to go to. Does that sound good?"
"But what about you?"
Brian shrugged: "I'll be fine. I'll go downstairs,
your mum should be back from mass soon anyway. Don't worry about
me."
As said, as done and like Brian had guessed Marie was back at home when he
came downstairs. With Mark being in the shower Marie had taken the time
to have a quick chat with Brian, telling him to be careful and not to hurt her
little boy, he'd been through enough of that already as it was. Brian was
thoughtful enough to say he would make sure to take good care of Mark, and to
put her mind at ease he mentioned having met Kian and Nicky as well and having
promised them too that his intentions were good and that he was serious about
this. They'd chatted about the boys' plans for the day as well so Marie
was fully up-to-date on those by the time Mark came downstairs.
It wasn't long before the pair of them were off into
town to find some food. They ended up at the Carlton Cafe, where as Brian
soon found out a friend of Mark's worked. Shane had been on the early
shift and was just about to finish as the pair came in. As his sister
came in and took over he went over to where Mark was sat: "Hey mate, long
time no seen. How've ye been?"
"Grand," Mark smiled. "Glad you could join us, it's been a
while. By the way, this is Brian. Brian, meet Shane, he along with
Kian was one of my best friends back at Summerhill."
"And I'm not now?" Shane pouted.
"Well, seen as we haven't spoken in ages," Mark started, sounding
slightly sad as he trailed off.
"Yeah I meant to talk to you about that. I guess I didn't react too
well when I found out about... And then you moved to
"You never told me why you reacted like that, Shane," Mark spoke
softly, his voice slightly wavering and Brian took his boyfriend's hand under
the table.
"You wouldn't believe it if I told you," Shane sighed.
"Try me," Mark told him, grasping Brian's hand tighter unnoticed
to Shane.
"You asked so don't hate me. I had a crush on you."
"But you're with Gillian, you're not..."
"I'm not, and I do love Gillian, she's fantastic but what can I say?"
Shane tried to explain. "We were out one night and you looked so
hot, it was like lightning struck and I couldn't get you out of my head.
And then the next day you come and tell me you're gay - which I had actually
already guessed years ago - and that you've a boyfriend. It broke my
heart at the time and that's why I reacted the way I did. I told Gillian
the truth and that I did love her with all my heart and she forgave me - she actually
said there was nothing to forgive as nothing happened between us, I told you
she's fantastic," Shane got a dreamy look in his eyes. "I'm
actually thinking of asking her to marry me," he continued after a
moment. "But don't tell anyone yet, not even Kian."
"OK. Anyway we should get going, I promised Brian I'd show him
around some places around town," Mark said and stood up. "Keep
in touch this time, will ye?"
"I will. Take care, both of ye's."
"See you again sometime, Shane," Brian smiled at the shorter lad as
he stood up as well and followed his boyfriend out the door.
As they exited the Café Mark asked Brian: "Are you up for a long walk or
you prefer a taxi?"
"Taxi might be best, timewise."
Mark nodded to that and dialled a taxi: "Hi, can we get a taxi for outside
the
"Wow! It's amazing out here," Brian gasped as they stood on the
grass overlooking
"I know," Mark smiled, "but I know somewhere even more amazing
in there," he pointed to the woods. Both went in following the
Nature Trail walking by the lakeside. As they came to a bend in the path
Mark pointed out a fallen tree: "That's been there forever. I used
to sit there and write stuff, or just listen to the wind and the birds and the
waves and let them take my worries away. I once even engraved my initials
here, right about... here," he pointed to an engraved M and F.
"So is this what you wanted to show me?" Brian asked, not very
impressed.
"No. Come on, it's a bit further still," Mark smiled and walked
on, suddenly leaving the path and pulling Brian with him between the bushes to
a small clearing. As Brian went to speak Mark placed his index
finger over his lips. He then placed a soft kiss on Brian's lips before
taking the taller man's hand and pulling him through some more bushes.
Stumbling and trying to push away the branches with his free hand Brian did his
best to keep up, never losing Mark thanks to their linked hands.
Eventually they made it through and found another small clearing, this time
with a wooden structure in it. "Come sit with me?" Mark asked
Brian as he climbed up on the structure, sitting down on something that
looked like steps. Brian obliged and Mark continued: "Sorry we had
to get through all that just to get here, there used to be a path here but as you
can see Mother Nature reclaimed some territory. It's so private now
though, most people seem to have forgotten this is even here. I like it
here. What do you think?"
"It's nice. Quiet."
Mark just nodded, glad that Brian seemed to understand him without too many
words.
"So this is your special place then." Again Mark just
nodded. "Did you ever come here with anyone else?" Brian asked.
"My dad" was Mark's simple answer.
"Oh..." Brian didn't know what to say.
"It was our special place, what was said here he wouldn't take against me
and it would stay here, he'd not even tell my mum. I told him about my
sexuality as we sat here, he just smiled and said he'd already guessed, said mum had her suspicions too but that it was up
to me if I wanted to tell her," Mark explained. "He was such a
great guy, Brian, I just wish you could have known
him."
"I'm getting to know him, Mark. You'll just have to keep telling me
about him." At that Brian hesitated for a second, then continued:
"So what was the song he'd wanted you to sing?"
"My Way. He loved the Rat Pack stuff, Sinatra most of all."
"My Way? As in: And now," he started singing, "the end is
near, and so I face the final curtain... That My Way?"
"Yeah that one," Mark sighed.
"Good song, that. Real classic."
"It's not easy to sing though."
"I've sang it on karaoke a few times, I know the lyrics," Brian
spoke. "Look, I've an idea. I won't make you sing alone but if
I sang, would you sing with me?"
"I... I..."
"There's no one else here, Mark, you don't have to be afraid."
Seeing Mark still hesitating, he shifted himself on the wooden platform and
held his arms open, inviting Mark wordlessly to sit between his legs. As
Mark obliged he put his arms around the lad. "You know what, I'll
just start, you sing along whenever you feel ready, OK?" Feeling
Mark nod he started singing softly:
"And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case
Of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I've travelled each and ev'ry highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Regrets I've had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exception
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all
When there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way"
Mark felt the words go through him and the melody lift him up and without
really realising he started to sing along, hesitantly at first, barely audible,
and then as the music carried him his voice got stronger as he sang along with
Brian:
"I've loved I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way"
Then came the part where he got self-confident enough to stand up and face
Brian as he sang the last bit with a smile:
"For what is a man, what has he got
If not himself, then he has not
To say the things he'd truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way
Yes it was my way"
As Mark finished Brian smiled broadly and applauded: "Brilliant,
Mark. You've such a great voice." Mark started blushing and
opened his mouth to protest but Brian wouldn't hear of it. "Someday,
Mark, someday you'll go up in front of a crowd, amaze them with your voice and fulfill your dad's wish. We've got all the time in
the world but someday it WILL happen. Anyway," he checked his watch,
"it seems we've been here longer than we thought, we should get back to
your mum's, she said she'd cook dinner for us 'round 5 so we could eat before
going back to Dublin. It's past 4 already." As said as done
and they made their way back to the Feehilys'
house, walking this time as they had just enough time and weren't that far away
from it anyway.
Another few hours later the pair found themselves in
The
next morning Mark didn’t really want to go to work but somehow managed to make
it. His thoughts were on the weekend and what had happened. By lunchtime mark
was hoping the day would soon be over and picked up his mobile and dialled
Kian’s number and within a few moments the call was answered by a laughing
Kian.
“Hey Mark you okay?”
“Yeah and you sound like you’re having fun. I just wanted to check it was still
okay for me and Brian to come over later?”
“Yeah sure Mark it’s what we were just laughing about as Nicky had remembered
you two were coming tonight and I hadn’t so we’re just having a panic but don’t
worry its fine so see ya later.”
“Great and try to relax Kian. We’ll see ya later.”
Nicky laughed as Kian came off the phone. “I guess we’d better go shopping
before we do anything else then?”
“Looks like it.” Kian replied kissing Nicky softly on the lips.
An hour later Kian and Nicky were back at home unpacking the food and unpacking
the cases and busy sorting out ready for their visitors later. When they
finally sat down it was already half past 4.
“So did you enjoy your weekend?” Nicky asked a bit worried that Kian may not
have.
“Of course I did silly. You couldn’t have given me a better surprise.” Kian
replied cuddling up close to Nicky. Nicky sighed as he got up to start
preparing a light meal for later. The pair had decided that as the weather was
so nice they would have some salad and eat it outside on their patio. While
Nicky started the preparing in the kitchen, Kian set tables and chairs up
outside.
A short while later it seemed as if most was ready so Nicky suggested they took
a shower before mark and Brian arrived.
Back in
“Bet you called Kian.” Brian commented as he got close.
“How did you know?” Mark said quickly kissing Mark on his cheek.
“Well I know you’d hate to turn up and find they’d forgotten anyway let’s get
back to yours to change.”
By quarter to 7 they were on their way to Kian and Nicky’s and when they got
there they found everything set out on the patio and Kian and Nicky were
smiling broadly as they let them in.
“You two obviously had a good time.” Brian commented as he grabbed a beer from
the table and handed one to Mark.
“Oh yeah we did.” Nicky said with a wink and Kian jabbed him in the ribs.
“We don’t want to know.” Mark announced knowing that look in Nicky’s face.
“Are you sure?” Nicky replied leaning in close to Mark’s ear and continuing.
“You’ll love the description.” He whispered sexily and laughed as Mark blushed.
“Cut it out Nicky.” Kian said laughing. “Anyway from the look of things Brian
and Mark didn’t have too bad a weekend either.” Kian said noticing how the pair
seemed to be standing closer than normal and holding hands.
“We sure did!” Brian exclaimed. “Mark took me to
“Wow and how was exciting
“The place is great but could do with a bit more action in the evenings.” Brian
joked.
“You have to make your own action.” Nicky countered grinning naughtily.
“Not to easy when you’re staying in your boyfriend’s parent’s house.” Brian
laughed.
“Tell me about it.” Nicky continued. The more he talked to Brian the more he
liked the guy as he too it seemed had a bit if a wicked sense of humour too.
The chat stayed light for most of the evening but Kian could tell that there
was something Mark wasn’t telling them about their trip and so finally he
managed to get Mark on his own to ask him.
“What really happened?”
“Nothing really Kian”
“Don’t give me that I’ve known you long enough to see when something isn’t
right.”
“It’s not that Kian the opposite in fact. Brian is helping me with my stage
fright and we sang together.”
Kian smiled and placed a hand on Mark’s shoulder. “I know it seems as if it’s
an impossible task but now you can see its possible can’t you?”
“I suppose so I just well feel so scared about what people think.”
“You’ve got a great voice Mark and I’m sure Brian thinks so too. I think it’s a
shame more people can’t experience the feelings you portray when you sing. Wish
I could do that but you have a gift.”
“Thanks Kian.” Mark said hugging his best friend.
At this point Nicky came in. “Okay spilt if up you two Brian is mumbling about
an early start in the morning so I guess he’s hinting at going home.”
Mark looked at his watch. “Shite hadn’t realised it
was that late. Anyway great evening guys will have to love you and leave you
though.”
Both Kian and Nicky couldn’t say they were sad to see the pair leave as it had
been a long day and they were both ready for bed before they went back to work
the next morning.
As
Kian and Nicky decided to have their wedding the next summer the next few
months in the Egan-Byrne household were filled with the preparations along
with day-to-day duties such as work. Meanwhile Brian and Mark spent as
much time together as they could and as they were spending the night together most
of the time anyway Brian moved out of his flat and into Mark's. On their
days off Mark became accustomed to waking up to soft guitar music as Brian
rehearsed for the nearest open-mic night. More
than just once he found himself singing along with Brian there in the privacy
of their flat. As time passed Mark grew more confident so one quiet night
when Brian asked him to come sing with him, Mark
agreed without thinking.
Later that night, after Mark and Brian had amazed the whole pub with the way
they sounded together Brian took it upon himself to
show Mark just how much it had meant to him to have the younger lad on stage
with him.
As soon as they got back to Mark's he took Brian into his arms and kissed him
softly before gently leading him towards the bedroom. Brian could see Mark was
on a mission and dared not get his hopes up that it was what he had wanted for
so long now. Once in the bedroom Mark slowly undressed Brian, whilst still
kissing him softly and after he had stripped him naked he went to remove his own
clothes but Brian put a hand over his.
"Let me" Brian said softly and Mark just nodded. So taking the same
care that Mark had, Brian slowly removed Mark's clothes and then led him to the
bed. Once they were both laid holding one another Brian spoke again. "Are
you sure about this Mark?"
"Never been more sure." Mark responded as he
kissed Brian whilst tweaking his nipples with his fingers.
After a while Brian could take it no longer. "Make love to me." Brian
sighed as he pulled Mark on top of him and kissed him hard.
Mark was now nervous and hesitated but Brian gently rocked his body to cause a
friction on his now rock hard cock and gently rubbed Mark's back to encourage
him. "You know I love you don't you?" Brian said softly taking Mark
aback for a moment as it was the first time it had been said.
Mark took some lube from the nearby drawer and coated his fingers whilst he
kissed his way down Brian's body. When he reached his groin he avoided touching
it but could see Brian was close already from the way his cock leaked pre-come.
Brian adjusted his position so Mark could prepare him but really all he wanted
was to feel Mark inside him. Mark started with one finger and it seemed as if
he could quickly add a second and then a third. Brian could take it no longer.
"I want to feel you inside me." Mark looked Brian in the eyes and
could see the pure love there and nodded, removing his fingers he positioned
himself at Brian's entrance and slowly entered him.
Brian pulled Mark down for a kiss before Mark started to slowly thrust in and
out of Brian. Brian rocked under Mark wanting to keep him deep inside him.
Brian moaned as Mark moved and hit his prostate. Mark wasn't sure he could hold
out much longer as the look on Brian's face was almost enough to send him over the
edge. Brian took his cock and pumped it hard and soon came calling Mark's name
over and over. This was all Mark needed to come himself, whispering Brian's
name.
The pair snuggled up together and Mark whispered with a naughty smile: "If
it's going to be this good every time I go onstage with you, I might be tempted
to go more often..." Brian just wrapped his arms around the younger
lad and gave him a small kiss on the forehead before sleep claimed them both.
The months seemed to fly by after that with Brian helping Mark to practice the
song he wanted to sing at Kian and Nicky’s wedding having in mind an extra
dedication for the song. Brian couldn’t believe how well Mark sang the song and
wished he’d consider recording it professionally as he was sure it would be a
hit.
A few months before the wedding Kian and Nicky sat talking. “We’ve not seen
much of Mark recently.” Kian remarked. “I know love but he says all will be
revealed soon so we know he’s okay and Brian said he’s doing great why the
comment?”
Kian thought for a moment. They hadn’t talked about best men but he had hoped
Nicky wouldn’t mind if he wanted Mark to be his but hadn’t mentioned anything
yet. Nicky looked at Kian and had a feeling he knew why Kian had started this.
“You want to ask Mark don’t you?” Kian nodded. “So what’s the problem Kian?”
“I just didn’t know what you’d think Nicky after you know.”
Nicky pulled Kian to him and kissed him softly. “I wouldn’t have expected you
to choose anyone else Kian.”
“So you really don’t mind?”
“No so why not call him now?”
Kian picked up his mobile and dialled the familiar number, getting a quick
response. “Hi Kian what’s up?”
“I want to ask you something Mark.”
“Sure.”
“Will you be my best man?”
Mark could hardly contain his excitement. He knew he dared not hope Kian would
but with what had happened with Nicky he thought he didn’t even stand a chance.
“Try and stop me.” Mark said laughing.
“Thanks Mark it means a lot to both of us. So we’ll talk soon over details.”
Putting his mobile down Kian turned to Nicky. “And what about you?”
“I hadn’t really thought.” Nicky sighed knowing he didn’t really have anyone.
Kian hugged his fiancé and smiled. “We could just ask Brian as he will be there
anyway?”
So after another call to Mark it was settled. Over the next six weeks the final
things were coming together for the ceremony and still unknown to Kian and
Nicky, Mark had finally got his song sorted.
Finally
the big day arrived and both Kian and Nicky were nervous as they got ready for
the ceremony. Taking their marriage vows was a big step for both of them as it
showed their commitment for life to one another. Kian had told Nicky they
should write a few words each to say to one another and Nicky had said he
agreed but Kian wasn’t so sure now that was a good idea as every time he had
seen Nicky writing he seemed to be laughing and this worried Kian slightly.
Shortly before 3pm Mark and Brian turned up so that they could all go to the
registry office together. Kian was dressed in a black suit with white shirt and
Nicky in a white suit with black shirt so they complimented each other. It have
been decided that mark and Brian should wear navy suits and white shirts.
By 3:45pm they were all stood outside the office waiting for their turn. A few
other friends and family had turned up even though they weren’t expected to,
including Kian’s parents which almost made him cry. The ceremony started and
the standard words spoken by both Kian and Nicky. Then they were asked if they
wanted to add their own words of commitment and both nodded.
Kian and Nicky looked at one another and took out bits of paper from their
pockets. Kian was going to start but Nicky shook his head and Kian nodded in
reply.
“Kian I know we may not have started off on the right footing but as time has
past I’ve grown to think of you not only as my friend, and boyfriend but also
as my soul mate. You have helped me come to terms with things I have tried to
forget and for that I want to thank you. I love you Kian.” Nicky said and
stopped there.
Kian took Nicky’s hand. “I want to thank you for coping with me even though you
knew deep down my feelings for you were deeper than I was prepared to admit
initially. You have taught me so much and I can think of no one else I want to
spend the rest of my life with.”
Both were now close to tears after each others touching speeches and so too
were the rest of the room. With both men finished a cheer went up from the
gathered crowd and the registrar told then they were now officially married.
They all moved from there to the club that had been booked for the celebrations
and food. Kian and Nicky got separated quite quickly as they mingled amongst
the people, thanking them and taking all the comments.
Everyone was soon called to the tables and found their places for the meal.
This was the first chance since they got there that Kian and Nicky had a chance
to talk to one another. Kian turned to Mark who was sat next to him.
“Thanks so much for today Mark and Brian too of course we couldn’t have done
this without you.”
“Don’t thank us yet you’ve not heard Brian’s speech yet!” Mark said even though
he knew part of it had been written by Nicky and that was what Kian had seen
him laughing about over the past weeks.
The meal was eaten and speech time came so Nicky stood. “Okay I just want to
thank everyone here today for coming. I know some of you have found it hard to
accept us but I just want you to know that it means a lot to both of us that
you are here today. I’m now going to hand you over to Brian.”
Brian stood and winked at Nicky. “Thanks Nicky. I know most of you don’t even
know me and as I haven’t known Kian and Nicky that long I have had a bit of
help writing this. Some of you have known Kian a long time and I bet the last
thing you’d expected was for him to have a same sex relationship.” A few
mumbles of agreement could be heard around the room. “From what I’ve been told
I couldn’t blame you but it seemed though that there was something special
about Nicky that even Kian couldn’t resist and as you say the rest is history.”
A few laughs and giggles could be heard. “Oh and in case any of your lovely
ladies is after me I’m taken to by this gorgeous man sat next to me.” Brian
added tapping Mark on the shoulder and making him blush. “Well we have a small
presentation to make to Kian’s mum who I think may have made sure of their
support today.” At this point a young girl took a large bunch of flowers over
to Kian’s mum and presented them to her, the tears evident on her cheeks. “Both
Kian and Nicky love you both.” Brian continued. “Finally before we start the
serious dancing and drinking, a toast to the grooms!”
“The grooms” everyone repeated raising their glasses.
The plates were cleared and some background music played until everything was
set. Kian and Nicky knew it was now their time and hoped they remembered what
tune they were dancing to. To their surprise Mark and Brian went up on stage to
the DJ. Holding Mark’s hand, Brian encouraged him to speak.
“I know it’s supposed to be Kian and Nicky’s song now but I hoe they won’t mind
a slight change in plan.” Mark spluttered as all eyes were on him. “A short
while ago I broke a promise to someone special and I hope he’s looking down on
me now as I’d like to sing this for him as well as Kian and Nicky.”
Most had no idea what Mark meant but for Kian and Nicky it was more than they
could have hoped for. The music for “Yes I will” started on the backing track
Brian had brought along and he stayed close to Mark as he took the mic and Kian and Nicky took the floor tears in both their
eyes:
“I open my eyes I see your face
I cannot hide I can't erase
The way you make me feel inside
You complete me girl, that's why
Something about you makes me feel
Baby my heart wants to reveal
I'm down on my knees, I'm asking you
So these three words I wanna hear from you
Yes I will, take your hand and walk with you
Yes I will, so these three words I promise to
Yes I will, give you everything you need
And someday start a family with you
Yes I will, take your hand and walk with you
Yes I will, baby I promise to
Yes I will, give you everything you need
And someday start a family with you
Oh yes I will
This is no ordinary love
And I can never have enough
Of all the things you've given to me
My heart , my soul , my everything
Every night I thank you lord(I thank you lord)
For giving me the strenght to love her more
And more each day I promise her
As long as I hear those three words
Yes I will, take your hand and walk with you
Yes I will, so these three words I promise to
Yes I will, give you everything you need
And someday start a family with you
Yes I will, take your hand and walk with you
Yes I will, baby I promise to
Yes I will, give you everything you need
And someday start a family with you”
Couples joined Kian and Nicky on the floor as Mark’s strong voice sang the
words. With each line he seemed to gain more confidence and strength in his
voice and everyone couldn’t help but listen to the words he sang.
“I
stand beside you, in everything you do
Wherever you go, whatever you do
Baby I'll be there (oh baby I will be there)
As God as my witness
I will carry this through
Till death do us part, I promise to you
Yes I will, take your hand and walk with you
Yes I will, Baby baby yes I promise to
Yes I will, give you everything you need
And start a family with you, baby
Yes I will
Yes I will
Yes I will, I promise you
Everything's gonna be all right
It's gonna be all right
I will
As Mark finished he almost collapsed at his effort but Brian’s strong arms and
lips were there to reassure him. Everyone on the dance floor applauded and Kian
and Nicky went over to him.
Both hugged mark and Kian spoke. “Thank you Mark this means more to us than
anything and I’m sure your father would be proud of you.”
THE
END