Ness: Welcome Inca, thank you for coming today.
Inca: Thanks, but it's not like I could escape it... we are in English class. And I do sit next to you... every lesson.
Ness: Yes well... let's get started shall we?
Inca: Did you do your homework? I finished it last period, but I don't think it makes sense. Spots tape recorder. Are you recording me?
Ness: It's for the interview... for the site. You know... Slasherphiles?
Inca: Oh, that's right. Ok, I'm ready, ask away.
Ness: When did you fall in love with slash?
Inca: I can't remember... I think it was sometime around this year and last year.
Ness: Right, right, fascinating. What time were you born?
Inca: I don't remember exactly... but I think it was sometime in the day that I was born on. Coz, well, here I am...
Ness: Have you always been an Angel and Spike fan?
Inca: Ever since I was born.
Suddenley a commotion. Inca and Nessa's english teacher is having a fit because apparently, they're doing a test and they shouldn't be talking... or recording each other.
Ness: Yeah, I think she wants us to stop... anyway, do you have any hobbies?
Inca: Probably. I like writing slash... I love making Spike beg for it... I like shopping, reading, drama, writing, I watch all sorts of shows, movies and I listen to music sometimes. I LOVE Mills and Boone, because... well, have you ever read one? Not the smelly ones though, because they smell. I like beating people in Business, and I love my ILC's. As you should. And I love Disney stuff. Go Disney Pop Dreamers.
Ness: Any dislikes?
Inca: Yeah, Britney Spears and all that she stands for... and some people in general.
Ness: Have you ever been in an elevator? What about a monorail?
Inca: A few times in an elevator and a few in a monorail.
Ness: Well thank you for coming, you may go home now.
Inca: No, Ness, I really can't. We're still in English.
Ness: Oh yeah...
It's English again. Ness takes out her tape recorder oblivious to the angry stares from the teacher, who knows the back row girls are planning to disrupt her lesson for another 50 minutes. Ness is contemplating trying to throw her pens into unsuspecting peoples bags, when she sees Inca, coming in late, again. Ness starts wondering why she's always late, then realises she doesnt care.
Inca: Sorry I'm late, I was here before, but you weren't here, so I left.
Ness: Well, it's alright, I spose... I've only been waiting to interview you...
Inca: Alright, well here I am... so go on.
Ness: So you say you've always been interested in slash... how has it affected your view on life?
Inca: I think it's affected me a lot. I mean, I now know... sort of... the darker side of life? Like, I know it's not all sunshine and roses... in fact, in many ways, it's all darkness and coffins. And sex. Lots of it. And I realise that Riley is a whorecake.
Ness: Oh I agree. What would you say is the most fun about writing for Angel and Spike?
Inca: I think... probably the power to make them do whatever I want. If I want Angel to be a bitch, and Spike to be a pimp, I can make that happen.
Ness: Is it intentional to make Angel the more... pardon the expression, but the raging homosexual? Or is it a role playing thing, or have them take turns?
Inca: I think it is more likely that Angel would be the dominant one... after all, he is the sire. No matter what Joss is trying to tell us now. Growls.
Ness: Do you ever think that maybe Joss just doesn't write down all his storylines?
Inca: Yeah, he's gone really downhill. But a pat on the back for killing Jenny off. Nice work.
Ness: Ok, so you're in a forest...
Inca: I'm in a forest... right... go on...
Ness: And you see two paths... one happy, safe one, and the other dark and evil. Which do you choose to walk down?
Inca: I feel that seeing as I would not be in the middle of the forest for no reason, that this is a slightly unfair question.
Ness: Just make something up...
Inca: Ok, I'd go through the middle, in my car, and wave to all the losers who were walking.
Ness: Well that's one way to look at it... to choose something that wasn't a choice. Anyway, have you ever licked or had your own eyeball licked for arousal?
Inca: I swear we did that last night... didn't we?
Ness: Yeah, I think so... I can't remember much from last night though.
Inca: Neither... should we be worried?