Title: Carry On, Part Nine � The Battle of Life
Author: Inca
Speak up at [email protected]
Rating NC 17
Angel/Spike
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, I just like to play with them
Spoilers: Up to 5.22 �Not Fade Away�
Summary: What if this, is all that he is?
Authors notes: Robert Service delivered the title, which is also the title of his poem. I thought of it when I read the transcript for �Not Fade Away�.
Italics indicate something that�s happened in the past.
Angel�s direct thoughts indicated by a tab space.
For more stories by me, come to http://www.geocities.com/slasherphiles
~~~
�And so in the strife of the battle of life
It�s easy to fight when you�re winning;
It�s easy to slave, and starve and be brave,
When the dawn of success is beginning.
But the man who can meet despair and defeat
With a cheer, there�s the man of God�s choosing;�
Part Nine � The Battle of Life
***
Illyria joined Spike�s side, as Angel fended off his own opponent.
�We live on. In one form or another. You will never defeat evil.�
�I had to get the chatty one.� Angel defended another vicious attack. He tried to begin his own offensive but he couldn�t find a rythym. All he could manage to do was block the blade that semmed to be flashing at him from every angle.
Illyria and Spike were holding the axe weilding partner at bay. Angel glanced over his opponent�s shoulder and saw an opening. The axe partner had just kicked Spike and Illyria to the ground and was raising its axe above its head. Angel flipped over his partner�s head and grabbed the axe as he landed, using the partner�s own momentum to drive the axe into its back.
The partner screamed and began flailing about.
�It�s their weapons. Use the axe!� Angel yelled and turned back just in time to block a swipe that would have taken off his head.
Spike distracted the axe partner as Illyria swept behind and grabbed the axe from its back. Spike landed one more kick before Illyria swung the axe around and lopped off the partner�s foul head.
The same shrieking and bleeding and light show ensued, but all the dark light poured into Angel�s partner. The sword partner seemed to expand, get bigger, his eyes glowed and he shook with power.
It howled, and the glass in the lobby shattered to the ground.
�So � you�re the Wolf?�
It effortlessly backhanded Angel to the ground. Angel�s jaw felt dislocated.
�Ow.�
Spike ran behind the huge demon and landed a kick up between the things legs.
Angel rolled his eyes.
Not really registering the kick, the partner swung around and punched Spike square in the face. The sound of Spike�s skull splintering was deafeningly loud and when the partner drew his fist back, Spike�s eyes were swimming, his nose was a mess of bloody cartilage and a trickle of blood was starting to run from his ears.
He turned back to Angel, raising the sword. Illyria kicked from the side, drawing his attention. Angel leapt up and grabbed the elaborate butt of the sword pulling down as hard as he could, trying to pull the sword through the things grasp. As it felt the sword slip, it instinctively tightened its grip, but Angel had pulled enough of the sword to make sure the creature grabbed onto the blade.
It howled again, and Illyria kicked it in its face. It stumbled back and Angel ran its sword through the suited belly.
All the pain of the last few years, all the annoyance and distraction and frustration Wolfram and Hart had caused, built up in Angel�s stomach. He drew the sword out and stabbed it in again. For everything Wolfram and Hart did. For the Black Thorn, for Hamilton and Eve, for Lindsay and Lilah, for Faith, for Darla, for Holland and his special projects, for everyone they hurt, for giving Angel the offices.
He drew the sword out and stabbed it into the sputtering creature�s chest.
Ever since he had stepped into L.A. they had been riding him.
He pulled the sword out and stabbed it in over and over.
For their plan to turn him dark and alienating him from his friends. For losing some of them. For Cordelia, his longest friend since god knows when, spending her last year alive in a coma. For Wesley, dying with the body of Fred, the woman they had killed. For Fred so trusting and Illyria the constant reminder of the good the world had been robbed of. For everyone that had been hurt by them. For Tina. The first victim of Wolfram and Hart he hadn�t been able to save.
For failing.
For winning.
The light started bubbling up inside the partner.
�Evil will live on. In one form or another.�
�Not in you.� Spike gasped out.
Angel pulled the sword out and leant close the decaying face.
�You lose.� He whispered. He swung the sword around and cut the thing�s head off as it exploded into light.
The light slowed for a moment before flinging itself into the sword Angel was holding and slamming into Angel himself.
Flashes of mind bleeding pain flashed through Angel. Every bone in his body felt like it was snapping, all his veins and ateries felt like they were exploding. He felt himself propelled upwards, felt his pain wracked body crunch through the lobby ceiling. Images of death and toture and disease covered his eyes accompanying the boiling of his organs. White-hot pain coursed through his body, instead of stagnant blood. It was hell. He could feel the pain and sadness of everyone Wolfram and Hart had hurt since before time. He could feel it all, taste it, smell it as the dark light swarmed around his brain like angry wasps. He vaguely recognised he was screaming before he felt himself falling. He hit the shattered lobby floor with a sickening clunk.
The light leaked out of him. He felt his eyelids grow heavy. He couldn�t move, he couldn�t even think about moving. He looked out across the floor and saw Spikes heavy boots jaggedly coming towards him. Had a flash of when Spike was very young, timid and red headed. Time seemed to be skipping, like when you watched an old movie. Spike was close, then he was a lot closer. He heard Illyria�s � Angel? � but it sounded like it was underwater. He had a flash of being in that box again in the ocean. A flash of Connor�s face. He saw Spike�s knees before him, his jeans soaking up the deep puddle of blood he was kneeling in.
-That�s my blood... Angel thought deliriously.
He saw Spike�s pale bloodied face fill his vision.
�Spike� It�s hurting�� he heard himself say. It wasn�t him was it? It sounded � weak and pitiful. Spike wiped away the blood that was dripping into his eyes.
His mouth was moving, but it was if the sound had been removed. The world was on mute.
A flash of Cordelia talking on the phone in the Hyperion, far way and Angel couldn�t hear what she was saying.
Darkness started sweeping through the lobby, starting at the sides of Angel�s vision. He tried to shake his head, to clear it away but it just got darker. It kept clouding over until he could only see two clear blue eyes, then the darkness covered them too.
***
�What the fuck do you mean?� Spike growled into his cell phone.
�He�s just gone, Spike. He left.�
�Where�s he gone?�
Trust Angel. Trust him to do something like this. If something�s happened � I�ll just �
�Where?� Spike asked. He was sitting in Bar 24 which was just West of Alpho Way, but a long way away from where Angel was currently sleeping.
�Well, I think he took the post it, so he should be appearing anytime soon.�
�How long ago did he leave?�
�Hours. I thought he�d just gone out or something, but well ��
Shit.
�He�s probably lost.� Gunn said.
�Well Gunn, Here�s not the best place to be lost Gunn.� He said tensely, looking around at the various demons and night creatures that inhabited this part of town. Anyone of them would love to be ripping inside a certain ex-demon slaying vampire.
Spike shook his head, tense. Angel, Angel didn�t smell like a predator anymore. That part of him was gone. He didn�t know how to fight. God, he acted like a human!
�You done there, anyhow?�
�Yep.� The door opened and he jerked his head around, hoping to see a shaggy headed annoyed-looking but very safe and intact Angel. Instead a big sweaty red thing walked through the door. Spike glared at him.
Spike had picked up his money from a demon that owed, and Gunn was meant to meet him here. Then he�d go to the dockyards next to the vamp warehouses on Alpho, and hop on a boat. He�d been hoping Angel hadn�t woken up. Knowing that Angel, Angelus, often slept late after sex, he thought he was pretty much in the clear. Obviously not.
�Look, call me if he comes back right?�
�Right, and you�ll call me if he shows?�
�Yeah. You sure he took the note?�
�Well it was here and now it�s not here.� Gunn replied; sounding just as tetchy as Spike felt.
�Right well, bye.� Spike spat. Gunn hung up in response. They�ll sort it out later.
Spike spun on his bar-stool with his beer, and watched the door like a hawk.
***
Angel was sitting cross-legged on the cot with the sheet pulled up around his shoulders. A look of worry etched into his features and his nose was a bit swollen and very tender.
The big vampire had woken him up, stood him in the middle of the room and dumped buckets of water over him. He�d rubbed him down with a rag, leering and smirking at Angel�s embarrassment as he�d wiped over his butt and cock, and then he�d scraped all the dried blood off his wounds, painfully. Angel howled when the rag was dragged over his nose. � Quit it! He�d snapped before holding his hands up in front of his nose in case he was going to be punched again.
Then he�d left, and Angel was in darkness again. There were no windows down here, and Angel had felt the walls and was pretty certain the light switch was on the outside.
And now, he was sitting on the bed, trying to count how many scratches he had.
He decided to get up and see if he could get out. He kicked the door for a while and screamed until his throat hurt.
Suddenly the door opened, and bright light washed over him. Claud was standing in the doorway.
�Hullo darling.�
Angel realised he was naked and ran back to the bed, pulling the covers up around him.
Claud stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, pulling on the handle to make sure it was closed. He was wearing a knee length brown leather coat, with a blue buttoned shirt. His hair was pulled back from his face.
�Hell-o Claude.� He prompted Angel in a sing song voice.
Angel glared at him.
Before Angel knew what was happening, Claud had plucked a whip from the wall and cracked it into Angel�s shoulders. The many metal edged tips bit into the soft skin and clung there. Angel howled. Claud jerked the whip down and the metal tore through the skin. Angel reeled with the pain, trying to get away from it, and he fell from the bed, a tangle of sheet and limbs. Claud pounced on him, pushed his head away from the bleeding shoulder and licked the torn skin like a cat.
�OW! Get OFF!� Angel screamed hoarsely. A kick landed on Claud�s thigh and the vampire fell to the floor. Claud jumped up and kicked Angel�s form as he tried to curl into a ball to protect himself. The steel cap of his boot left sore spot after spot. Claud stopped, and pulled the string from his hair, smoothing back the strands that had fallen and tying them up again.
Angel growled and grabbed one of the things from the wall himself, a riding crop. Claud looked disappointed. He raised his eyebrows.
�Put it down and sit on the bed.� He said, tiredly, never taking his hard eyes of Angel�s.
Angel shook his head. �I want to go home.�
�Put it down and sit on the bed.� He said, stronger.
Angel shook his head uncertainly again.
�Angel. You might get past me with that, not likely but there�s a small chance. But then what? There�s four vampires upstairs. So put it down and sit on the bed before I call them all down here.�
Angel�s hand shook. �Can I go home?� he asked softly, his eyes darting to the door.
�Put it down and sit on the fucking bed.� Claud growled. Angel�s stomach flipped over and his brain shrieked at him to do what he was told. He dropped the crop and sat on the bed.
Claud was over in a flash, his yellow eyes full of hate; he knelt on Angel�s arms, straddling his chest. He fisted his hand in the back of Angel�s hair and pulled his face towards him. Angel couldn�t focus on anything but the weight on his chest and the pain of his hair being ripped out.
�I just saved your life.� He jerked his head around. �Thank me.�
�What?� Angel screeched. �Let go!�
Claud swung his head into the rough brick of the wall. Angel felt the skin on his cheekbone tear, and his nose throbbed at the impact.
�Leave me alone!� he shrieked. �Help!�
Claude�s eyes rolled. He let go of Angel�s hair. Angel immediately reached up to rub his head.
�It�s going to be like this until you do as I say.�
�Alright. Thankyou for saving my life, even though it wouldn�t be in danger if it weren�t for you. Happy?� Angel snapped.
Claud kicked the cot. �Don�t be smart.�
He chained Angel�s wrist to the wall and left, plunging the vampire into darkness. Angel started to catalogue his new wounds.
***
Noon.
Spike was at Bar 24 again, questioning every barfly in sight. He�d left for a while, at about 6 in the morning.
His stomach was now a big knot of apprehension. Angel wouldn�t know how to pick a suitable place to spend sunlight hours. What if he wandered into some other demons lair trying to get out of the sun? Or a vampires? Lot of fame to be the one to take down Angelus. Spike was getting cramps from being so tense.
�Nothing?�
The demon shook his head. �I thought Angel was dead.�
Maybe.
Why did he have to leave? God stupid Angel. This is all his fault. He slammed the beer glass down onto the bar, cracking it. The bartender clicked his mandiables.
�Fuck off.� Spike spat.
He came looking for me. Spike closed his eyes. He smiled as he realised that�s probably why he left yesterday evening. To see if Angel had changed. If he cared enough to follow. He realised he was surprised that Angel had.
He woken up at about 4:30 yesterday afternoon. Angel was sleeping and, funnily enough, snoring. A quiet little snuffley snore, but still. His chest rose and fell. He looked alive. Looked human, with his sexed up bed hair hanging over his face, his eyes sweeping back and forth beneath his eyelids, his long fingers twitching with sleep.
He remembered suddenly thinking �He�s shanshue�d after all.� The vampire in him had died, and the human had taken over. That�s what it was about wasn�t it? He�d gotten a fresh start. He�d lost all the demon in him. He�d started over.
Spike had watched him breathe for a good half-hour.
He left Bar 24 through the sewer access and wandered around the tunnels for a while.
***
An indeterminate amount of time later, Angel heard lots of voices outside his cell. He tucked the sheet around him.
The light flicked on and the door swung slowly open.
A group of about six men and women stood with Claude at the doorway.
�Can we go in?� One of the women asked. They all seemed to be wearing formal attire.
Angel shrunk further down under the sheet.
�Sure. He�s chained and he�s weak. If he fights it�ll be fun to subdue him.�
They all giggled. Angel glared at the cot.
�Angel?�
He pretended to be asleep.
�Angel, there�s some people here who don�t believe that you are who I say you are.�
Again they chuckled.
The sheet was ripped away and Angel caught it before it�s protection abandoned him completely.
A few of the people gasped. Claud looked smug. A man, so strong he must�ve been a vampire flipped Angel over onto his stomach.
He huffed. �It�s him. He�s got the griffin.� A finger traced a pattern out on his back.
He tried to sweep it away, but with one wrist chained to the wall it proved difficult. Another one pushed their forearm into the back of his neck to keep him still. A long nail traced a pattern over the same part of his back as before but then continued to dance over bruises and cuts.
�He terrorised us for so long. And this is it?� A man�s voice said with contempt.
�Don�t debase my property.� Claud sniffed.
�Hey!� Angel said, muffled into the cot. He weakly kicked out and the long nail dug into a cut on his back.
�Bad boy!� A woman whispered.
�He�s beautiful.� A man murmured. A hand ran up his calf.
Angel kicked back ferociously.
�Likes to kick.�
�Love it.� Angel spat, happy to be speaking for himself.
Someone slapped a manacle around his ankle. And then round the other ankle. The chains then pulled apart pulling his legs in a v.
Please no one move the sheet. Oh God please, I�ll love you for ever and ever, and spread the word of God and Love and Unity to everyone as long as no one takes my sheet away.
A frisky hand ran under the sheet and fanned out just under his buttocks. He tensed and shifted around as much as the chains would let him. He could hear them all chuckling.
Real bloody funny, you arseholes.
�Can I?� A man asked.
Angel tensed.
�Only a little. I haven�t fed him yet.�
He yelped as a sudden familiar cold burning started to needle high on his shoulder blade.
They�re biting me. Ow!
Whoever bit him took a long pull and left, letting blood trickle down his back. He heard ecstatic moaning and he turned his head and peeked out of the cot to see two of the men kissing passionately, blood trickling down from the sides of their mouths. Angel retched. He looked up to see a raven-haired vampiress, forehead furrowed and fangs bared as she gazed down at him.
She smiled around her fangs.
***
Spike had wandered around for hours, using the tunnels to get into every underground demon bar he knew. It was dusk now. Spike suddenly turned to the sewer wall and started punching it.
He stopped. A flash of Angel sleeping yesterday evening flickered into his head. Then something before.
�Your eyes. They�re all yellow. Like a cats. � Pretty.� Angel, lying on the floor, asking him what he looked like.
Spike let his head fall to the slimy brick.
Angel, kissing him after he�d changed, feeling Spike�s fangs with a na�ve reticence.
Spike sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, swearing he could taste Angel on it.
�Angel when I find you,� Spike declared quietly to the brick wall. �You�ll be alright. And I�m never going to leave again.�
He looked up with newfound confidence to see a small Kahol demon staring at him. When it saw him looking it averted its pink eyes and scurried past him down a tunnel. Spike watched it go. It smelled like booze.
There is a bar around here, but bugger me if I remember it�s name.
An echo of Angel�s lusty, hesitant voice. �What do I taste like?�
He went looking for the bar.
***
Some of the vampires got bored of playing with him. They slowly left one by one. Some of them came back. It must�ve been a few hours by now. He had asked the time � sometime � but no one had answered.
At the moment only two men were in the room. They seemed to spend the time kissing each other, playing with Angel�s hair and kissing each other. And biting him.
At the moment they were whispering in the doorway. Angel couldn�t be bothered eavesdropping. He used the time to think about other things. He hadn�t had a memory flash for a while. He remembered everything that had happened since he woke but he stopped getting those little mind jolts. This was both scary and a relief. It was scary because he was afraid he might never remember who he was. But it was also a relief because he could be him. It was hard to think about. He liked being who he was � well not right now, but he seemed happy.
He still got a jolt of panic when he thought he might never remember. He realised he didn�t remember what his parents looked like. His eyes started to water.
Maybe that�s why Spike left. Because I don�t really have anything of worth. I don�t have any stories about my life, no memories, only what people tell me. I mean, what�s the point really? I don�t even remember my friends. Although Gunn�s nice, and Spike�s very nice. But I�m just there. In their house. I don�t know what I�m good at. What I can do.
� Oh god, maybe I�m crap at sex. That cant be why he left � can it? It might be, because all the shows say that everyone�s bad their first time. But if I know that then Spike would know that too, he couldn�t blame me for it�
He decided to start thinking about the freckles on Spike�s nose instead.
***
Spike stepped into the bar, Low Blow, and how Spike forgot that name he didn�t know.
�So you heard anything about Angel? Hear he�s back.� Spike asked the barman casually.
�Yep, heard that too. Well not like he used to be is what I heard, likesay.�
Spike almost grabbed the barman by the throat. Instead he took a sip of his Daniels. �Oh yeah, whys that?�
�Heard some old vamps got him, showing him off to his friends. Keeping him as a pet, likesay. Those vamp-cats were talking about it?� He pointed at three vampires surrounded by demons at a table.
�Yeah. Might find out where he is myself. Wouldn�t mind seeing if it�s really THE Angel, you know?�
�You kidding, wanna see him myself.� He laughed and Spike felt like slamming his hand into the demon�s chest and pulling him inside out.
Spike smiled at the thought, and the barman smiled back, and Spike made his way over to listen to the vampires bragging.
***
Angel got sick of lying on his stomach so he twisted over on to his side, showing his back to the two vampires. He legs were twisted apart still. He was trying to remember how many rings Spike wore on his hands on the day they made love. He thought it was four, but it may have been five. One on his thumb. But he couldn�t really remember because Spike didn�t always wear that one.
He was so engrossed in his memories that he didn�t notice the vampires had quit talking. One came over and sat on the bed. Angel looked up in surprise, and then looked away hurriedly when he saw the leer on the vampire�s face.
��Ees so preety.� One said in some sort of accent. French? Angel couldn�t remember what accents sounded like.
��Ees too skinny!� They both laughed.
�Look �ow �ees ribs stick out!� The same one said. They poked him in his ribs. ��Ees not a fighter.�
�Not aneemore.� The other said. This one reached up and stroked Angel�s hair like he was patting it.
�I like �ees tattoo.�
Tattoo?
�It needs to be on a bigg�a man.� Angel jerked his shoulder away fiercely.
�You need to be fatten�d up!� The same one joked. Angel stared resolutely at the wall.
�I have sum�thin� I could feed �im!� The other said, and they both dissolved into giggles again.
The one sitting on the bed was running his fingers along the skin behind Angel�s knee. It actually felt quite nice � if only because a lot of the vampires who can to see him liked to humiliate him by pinching and prodding him. A few of them slapped him, zeroing in on his sore nose. A lot of them bit him and he was really tired. He wanted to sleep. He hoped this vampire was a nice one who just wanted to touch the back of his knees so he could sleep. The other one was running his fingers softly through his hair like he was a huge house cat. They were both purring, and Angel was feeling sorry for himself, and so many people had been hurting him, and his body was sore all over, so he relaxed and let them do it. The hand in his hair smoothed down the back of his neck and a small noise slipped from his lips.
��Ee likes eet.� They snickered. �Slut.�
Angel was too tired to remember what that word meant. One undid the manacles around his ankles, and rubbed the sore skin. It felt very nice. He wanted to ask them to undo the one on his wrist too. The hands moved from his neck to his shoulders and started rubbing.
�You�ve been stuck down �ere. Not good.� One said to him. They started giggling again.
Angel shook his head; over joyed that someone was being nice. And they were talking to him. They rolled him over onto his back. He looked at the vampires, the one who had been rubbing his shoulders had an angular look about him, and his eyes were cold. He didn�t look as friendly as he sounded. The other was a burly man with black hair. He smiled at Angel, and was rubbing his ankles.
�Thee deemon with thee face of �in Angeele.� Angel frowned a little. ��es true.�
��Ee looks sick.� The one at his feet said. He started rubbing his calves. It was strange to see a man he didn�t know do that. He felt weird. He started tracing patterns on the back of his knees again. He didn�t like it as much now he could see the man doing it. It felt too intimate. He didn�t want to tell him to stop in case they left and the ones with the whips came back. They were bad. Or Claud and his nail removers. Angel shivered.
The dark haired man started running his hands up Angel�s thighs. Angel sat up a bit and started shaking his head.
�You�re soo tense, �ee is trying to feex et.� The man standing next to him said. He started twirling Angel�s hair around in his bony fingers. He sat down next to him, and his satiny shirt was rubbing against Angel�s bare arm and back.
Angel tilted his head slightly away from the fingers. The man�s hand dropped out of his hair and circled his waist. Angel was starting to get very nervous.
�I�m tired.� He said very quietly, staring at the wall.
The men took no notice of him. The hands crept further up his thighs and Angel jerked back but was stopped by the man�s arm circling his waist. He suddenly felt like he was back in front of the warehouses being beat up by Cess and Jake, where they�d have all their moves planned out together, and Angel was always about three steps behind.
�Help!� he yelled, but the man sitting beside him clamped a hand over his mouth. The other stood and closed the door.
�That was not nice.� He said. �And were es so nice to you!�
�I know, I�m sorry. I�m like that, you probably want to go, I understand.� He said hopefully.
The man looked at his friend and ripped the sheet from the bed. Angel tried to squirm out of the grip but it was like steel.
�Look, big!�
�Ugh, I don�t care who he �ees, I don�t want to boff this. I want a muscles. Not thees herion shieke junkie.� The man looked down at him with distaste. �It�s hideous.� Angel tried to cover himself up. He felt like laughing or crying. Or both.
Jeez, I�m not even attractive to vampire scum. No wonder Spike went to Amsterdam.
His eyes prickled.
Oh god, no no no no.
He clenched his eyes shut.
Don�t think about Spike.
�Oh you bad man! You �urt his feeleengs!� They both cackled. �Its okay, Angeele, Jules likes your junkee bodee. You�re preety to Jules.� The vampire purred in his ear. He rubbed down his ribs. �I can feel your bone. It feels so fragile. I could snap it.�
Then his hand continued down Angel�s stomach, and then into his lap. Angel tried to jump away, but the other vampire help onto his legs. Angel shook his head from side to side, and both the vampires laughed again. The hand curled around his penis and began to pull.
�Play with mee!� The vampire cackled in his ear.
***
Spike entered the warehouse. He got the address from one of the bragging vampires. He kicked himself for not thinking of this place earlier. Well this street.
There were a few vampires milling around. They all looked very happy.
I�m going to kill them all.
Spike grinned.
�Hello.� One of the female vampires said.
�Hey.� He greeted her. �Looks like your having a party. I�m a friend of Claud�s.� He said having gleaned the name from the bar.
She looked around. �Hmmm, I don�t know where he is right now. But you can join us.� She said, her words dripping with innuendo.
�So you are having a party?�
�Yes, you must see!� A male vampire walked up smiling.
�So tell me, have you ever heard of Angelus?� the smarmy prick asked.
�Who hasn�t?� Spike answered.
�Well, he turned good a while ago, and started killing vampires.�
�I heard.�
�Yes well, he became quite a nuisance in the vampire world.� The girl said, smiling.
I�m going to kill you bitch.
Spike nodded.
�But Claud captured him. So we�re having a party to celebrate. Paying him back for all he did, that sort a thing.�
�You have Angel here?� Spike asked.
�Yes, downstairs.�
�That�s all I needed.� Spike growled, smile dropping from his face, as his fangs elongated and his eyes turned golden. He whipped a stake from his coat and used it to stake the girl and the smarmy prick. He threw another that landed in the chest of a male vamp and he dusted. Spike launched himself through the air at a huge black vampire with metal in his face. Spike loved piercings. The huge vamp took a swipe, and Spike ducked, and grabbed the ring in the vamp�s nose, pulling it, and a chunk of flesh out. It howled and Spike kicked it back, breaking its neck, and then staking it. An army coated vamp launched out of nowhere, knocking Spike to the ground. They wrestled, until Spike�s teeth clamped around its nose and he pulled his head back, pulling the cartilage with him.
A female vamp was hiding behind a crate and she tried to run, but her legs got caught up in the dress she was wearing and she went down.
Spike ran up behind her. �Dress wasn�t very practical, luv.� He staked her.
He smelt Angel. Angel�s blood. He looked around and saw an open door with some stairs behind it, leading down. He ran over to it and down the stairs.
A muffled scream halted him on the stairs.
Angel?
He leapt over the bar and fell to the bottom floor landing on his feet. He jerked the door open.
***
The men had changed places, and the one who had been holding his arms had stood up. Unable to get an erection from him, the vampire had shrugged and unzipped his pants, releasing his own hard flesh. He spat down a few times onto cock and then headed toward Angel�s feet. Angel started screaming, and the man covered his mouth with his hands. The other grabbed Angel�s feet and pulled them up. Angel yelled into the man�s hand. He jerked his legs closed and tried to pull them out of the man�s grasp. He managed to get one free and kicked the man�s face with it. His nose started bleeding.
HA! Angel screamed in his head deliriously.
The man viciously flicked out a handkerchief, and wiped his nose. He then leant forward pulled the other mans hand and wrenched as hard as he could on Angel�s nose. He screamed. The man let go and jammed his knee down into Angel�s crotch. His body went weak, shuddered, and a wave of nausea built up in his stomach. He was going to throw up. The man�s hand was back over his face. Angel�s body started jerking with panic. He was making retching motions and the hand was over his face and his legs were over the man�s shoulders, and he could feel the dull prod of the man�s cock at his hole and the door slammed open.
A white haired, black coated figure stood in the doorway. Angel almost fainted with relief.
It was Spike.
Spike Spike Spike Spike �
His sharp golden eyes flashed as they surveyed the scene.
He�s here, He came
�Waite your turn.� The man snarled.
Spike directed a vacant gaze his way before pulling a sword from his coat and chopping the man�s arm off.
�Jules!� The one holding his arms yelled. He stood up, and Angel fell backwards. Spike sliced that one�s leg off. He fell, crashing into the table.
Spike turned back to the first man, who was shivering and white, his pants around his ankles. Spike looked down, grinned and rammed the sword through his crotch. He let out a silent howl. Spike stabbed him a few more times and then chopped his head off. He turned to the legless man, and performed the ritual over.
***
After the shriek of the dusted vampire had faded he turned to Angel, who was shivering, naked on the bed, huge eyes staring at him, from a bruised face.
�Spike.� He croaked out.
Spike stepped towards him, grabbing him and pulling him up. He noticed the bruises around his mouth and his swollen nose, and kissed him softly. Angel�s arms wrapped around him.
�I woke up, and you weren�t there, and Gunn told me you were going to Amsterdam so I took the address and I caught a cab, but then I couldn�t find it and then these two vampires beat me up and they chased me, and this other vampire said he was going to pull my fingernails out, and he put me in here, and they all kept punching me, and then more vampires came down and they were all kicking me, and then these two, those two were nice but then they wanted to have sex with me and they took my sheet, and then one said that he didn�t want to have sex with me cause I was a hideous skinny heroin junkie.�
Spike stared at him blankly. �I didn�t get any of that, pet.�
�Why did you go?� Angel asked, his voice a crackle. �Was it because I�m crap at sex? The shows say that everyone�s bad their first time.�
�No. Calm down, you �� Spike shook his head, confused.
�Did you wake up and see that I looked like a heroin junkie? And you � � He croaked softly.
Spike shushed him, hearing a noise up in the warehouse.
�Stay here.� He whispered.
�No! No Spike, please, I can�t stay in here,� He started rambling, his hands clenching on Spike�s leather covered shoulders.
Spike swept Angel�s clinging grasp off him and rested his hands on the bruised cheeks, holding his face firmly. He looked into the wide eyes filled with fear, and held his gaze.
�It�s alright. I�ll be back. You�re safe because I�m here.�
He crept out of the room, hearing Angel�s breathing quicken. He turned back quickly, threw what he hoped was a comforting look at the battered naked figure, and closed the door a little to block out Angel�s strong scent of blood, wincing as he saw his lover instinctively move to stay in the light.
He�s just waiting for me. He�s putting his life in my hands.
Spike felt a weird ache in his stomach.
�I�m not going anywhere.� He said.
Angel managed a small scared smile.
***
Come on Spike...
Angel was standing where Spike had left him, not willing to sit on the cot. He peered out the crack the door made, and up the stairs. Something crackly crushed under his bare foot and he looked down, realising he was standing in a pile of vampire ash. He jumped back, banging into the cot. A brilliant flash of what Spike had broken up, the cackle of the late vampires filled his head, and he retched.
The door burst open and Spike was holding a bloodied Claud.
�This the one?� he snarled. Angel nodded.
Spike threw Claud into a pile of vampire dust.
�Strip.�
Claud snarled up at him, the noise ending with a yelp when Spike slammed his foot down into the vampire�s chest. Claud began peeling his clothes off. Spike snatched the shirt away and handed it to Angel.
�I don�t want you smelling like this bastard, but it�s only till you get home.�
Angel pulled on the shirt, and then the pants Spike handed over. Spike grabbed Angel�s arm and steered him out of the room, slamming the door behind them, and making sure it was locked, leaving Claud inside. Claud started yelling and banging on the door, the noise muffled through the layers of wood and steel.
�Are you just leaving him there?� Angel asked as he was pushed up the stairs.
�Yep.�
They made their way out of the warehouse and into the freezing night air. Angel shook Spike�s domineering grasp off, but was promptly caught again and steered towards a shiny, expensive looking car parked across the road.
�Is this yours?� Angel breathed. He knew Spike had a car but hadn�t seen it.
�Yep.� Spike smiled, his vampire face melting off. �Viper. Nice?�
Spike released his grip on Angel and watched as he reached out and ran his hand along the sleek curves of the car. The fear and shakiness was fading away.
�Very nice.� Angel couldn�t take his eyes off the Viper. �Wow.�
Angel�s head snapped up, his face excited. �Hey! I like cars!�
Spike smiled at him and unlocked the car. Angel slid into it and starting ravishing the interior with his eyes.
�Can I drive?� He asked as Spike slipped in.
�Maybe later, we kind of have to leave.�
He started the car and they roared away, gravel spitting up behind them.
***
Angel headed into the kitchen as soon as they got home. He opened the fridge and took out some blood.
Spike watched him for a second before snapping, �Take those fucking clothes off and have a shower!�
Angel looked mildly offended as he pulled a mug out of a cupboard and poured the blood into it.
�I�m serious.�
�I�m hungry.�
�You stink like fucking vampire scum.�
Angel popped the blood into the microwave. He keyed in the numbers and took the shirt off. Spike leered at the exposed flesh for a minute, before striding over to him, picking him up and slinging the protesting man over his shoulder and taking him to the bathroom.
�Spike!� Angel said as he was put into the tub.
�What?�
He tried to get up but Spike pushed him back in.
�That fucking hurt.� He grumbled, rubbing at the bruises he�d landed on.
�Well don�t fucking get up again. And you don�t swear so don�t.�
�Well I fucking well swear now.� Angel spat back.
Spike rolled his eyes and started running water into the tub, over Angel�s pants. Angel made some angry noises as he pulled the soaking pants off. The microwave beeped and Angel sat up.
�My blood,� he said, �I�ll stay here and wash if you get it for me.�
Spike nodded and went to the kitchen, sighing at Angel�s yelled � And honey! � And retrieved the mug, returning to the bathroom.
The water was turning a watery pink colour, and the heat of the bath was darkening Angel�s cuts and blemishes. Angel was sitting in the bath head down, knees up making little islands in the water as he wiped a washer over his thigh. His back was the worst. Spike set the blood down, and leaned down to take a closer look.
�Somebody whip you?�
Angel didn�t answer, just kept resolutely wiping his thigh.
�I got there as fast as I could.� Spike said defensively.
Angel looked up at him. �I know.� He smiled.
�Those two, when I walked in, they do anything else?� Spike asked, handing the blood over.
Angel took the mug and stared into it. �Not what you�re thinking.� He sipped the blood.
�There�s no honey in this.� He said quietly.
�What did they do?� Spike asked, handing over the bottle.
He watched as Angel squeezed the honey in, holding the bottle far up from his mug so he could watch the yellow stickiness fall. Spike would always remember that simple insignificant instant as the moment he fell in love. He smiled at the playfulness Angel seemed to have about him now, even after what had just happened.
�I don�t want to say. It was �� He smiled weakly and scrunched up his nose, and then winced as he remembered it was sore.
Spike leant back over the tub and kissed his jaw. Angel�s lip wobbled and he bent his head down further so his hair would fall down over his eyes.
�Can you go now?� He asked, his voice crackling.
Spike kissed him on the shoulder in response. He ran his finger down the wet knobbles of Angel�s spine. He could smell Angel�s blood in the water, and the less refined heavy pig�s blood mixed with sweet honey in the mug. Could feel the slickness of Angel�s skin, water soft.
Angel got out of the tub, and Spike stood up, wrapping his hands around Angel�s ribs and kissing up his chest, feeling the crinkle of Angel�s sparse chest hair as they bent against his lips. Angel and Angelus for that matter had always rid his body of hair, and now that it grew Spike grinned as he understood why. The hair was light across his pectorals with only a spattering of semi curls heading down to his solar plexus. It looked like the growth Spike himself had when he was nineteen.
�Late bloomer� Spike grinned into his chest.
�What?�
Spike shook his head, reaching down to play with the short trail of hair leading up to Angel�s navel. He pulled at it and Angel giggled. Spike pulled off his own shirt and pants revealing a bare chest and stomach. Spike began ridding himself of his treacherous dark ginger body hair as soon as he started to grow it. He hated having red hair. He kept his pubic hair for the sheer sensation, but kept it trimmed because sometimes, he became painfully aware of it. Like now.
�Your hair, it�s ... red.� Angel smiled goofily as Spike felt his body trying to blush. �Before � It must�ve been too dark��
Angel stepped forward and tugged lightly on the curls like Spike had done to himself the other night. Spike felt his cock twitch.
�Does that mean you have red hair? It looked red-dy in my memories.� Angel trailed off, and knelt down, his knees dropping between Spike�s feet.
�Red-brown.� He answered, not sure why.
Angel pulled lightly at the hair over Spike�s sac and Spike�s knees almost buckled. He lifted his cock towards Angel�s mouth, and almost snorted as Angel looked a little confused. Realisation lit his eyes. He stared for a moment longer, before hesitantly sticking his tongue out and laying a lick along the tip. Spike shivered as large eyes looked up to measure his reaction.
�That�s good, baby, do it again.� Spike murmured down to him.
He could see Angel swirl his tongue around in his mouth, testing the taste. He leant forward and licked from the base to the tip.
�Mmmmmm�� Spike tangled his hands in Angel�s hair.
Angel, encouraged, wrapped his hand around the base, licked again and swirled his tongue over the head, teasing at the foreskin. Spike restrained the urge to grab Angel�s hair as leverage and pound harshly into the sweet mouth. Instead, he left Angel to go at his own pace. He couldn�t take his eyes off Angel�s face, watching as every now and then guileless eyes would look up as if to check he was doing well. Angel wrapped his lips around Spike, and he felt his wet tongue lashing at his cock. He groaned.
�Now suck a bit.� He whispered, his eyes rolling back as a gentle suction started obligingly around him. He could feel his mouth hanging open. He felt Angel tentatively take him deeper, and then start the gentle sucking again. His thigh muscles were spasaming. He groaned. Cool damp fingers reached up and tugged lightly at the hair over his sac and he gritted his teeth and tightened his grip on the moist hair. He opened his eyes and looked down.
Angel, naked, wet and on his knees, pink lips stretched around his cock, damp hair falling back as he looked up, brown eyes proud and lustful as they looked up. He came, his hips jerking forward involuntarily, and his cock pushed down into Angel�s throat, spilling his seed. He fell back against the bathroom wall, leaning on it as his orgasm wrapped around his face like a thick blanket. The flash faded and he heard Angel gagging, then breathing very heavily.
He knelt down, pulling himself free from the viscous clouds of his climax, and knelt down in front of Angel. His eyes were watering and his thin chest was shuddering as he coughed. Spike couldn�t help but start giggling.
�I am sorry pet.�
Angel frowned at him in a playful way, and Spike pushed his hair back from his face and kissed him. Then he licked along his top lip tasting the salt trail, ending with a nip on the side of his mouth.
�Was it good?� Angel asked hopefully, glancing down at Spike�s still hard cock.
�Your mouth, your hands, I thought I was going to die.� He whispered into his ear. Angel looked smug. He reached over, grabbed his mug, and swirled the honey into the blood with his finger. He drank the rest of the blood and Spike watched, becoming aroused by the mesmerising throat muscles.
�You look pretty.� Angel said. �When you � . Like there�s nothing else in the world.�
Spike ran his hand over the bottom of Angel�s ribs then moved down, sweeping over the pubic hair to his penis. He wrapped his hand around it, but Angel knocked it off swiftly.
�What?� Spike asked, surprised.
Angel sat tense for a moment. �Not tonight.� He stared at the doors, his eyes making little jumps to Spikes face. He tried to smile. �Not that.�
Spike stared at him, then cocked his head and narrowed his eyes. Angel stood up.
�I�m cold,� he left the bathroom, and then his voice came, huskily, needily echoing from the hallway, �Come to bed?�
Spike stood and followed him.
***
Angel walked, hearing Spike get up from the floor. His stomach had twisted when he felt Spike�s hand around him. He headed to his bed, and climbed in under the covers. He shivered a little. He heard Spike pad in, and the door closing.
�You alright?� came the voice.
Angel smiled. He felt the bed dip as Spike climbed onto it. After a second, he felt nails dragging gently up his skin.
�Spike?�
�Yeah?�
�Do you love me?�
There was a beat. �Yes.�
�Good.�
The only sound was Angel�s breathing for a minute or two before he rolled over. �Thankyou for coming for me.�
�Don�t mention it.�
Angel reached out and traced over Spike�s lips. He shifted over to kiss him. Spike stubbornly reached down for his erection again, staring at Angel�s face as he did, but Angel caught his hand and rested it around his hipbone. Spike raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Angel fidgeted under Spike�s silent scrutiny and rolled over so he was straddling Spike�s waist. He bent down and kissed him, then moved his head so it rested in the crook of skin and muscle that joined Spike�s neck and shoulder. He breathed in the smell of Spike�s gelled hair, and then licked the patch of skin behind his ear. Spike lay unmoving, just staring at Angel�s face, trying to figure out why Angel had become so tense. He moved his hands to rest on Angel�s thighs.
�Don�t.� Angel whispered into his ear, pleadingly.
�I�m not.�
Spike smiled and ran his hands up and down Angel�s thighs. Angel tensed, then relaxed a little. Spike continued up, skated his hands in wide circles around his groin, and rested his hands on Angel�s hipbones.
Angel smiled. �You like my hips.�
Spike wiggled his thumbs against the pointy bones, tickling him. Spike drew one hand back to his mouth. Angel watched horrified, as he bit the fleshy part between his forefinger and thumb of his own hand, and then let his long white fingers dangle so the blood would drip down them.
�What are you doing!?�
Spike just smiled, and pressed near the wound with his other hand, making the cuts bleed profusely. He put the un-bitten hand back around Angel�s hip, and sat up a bit, reaching around Angel�s back with the bloody hand.
�What are you �� Angel�s question got cut of when he felt the sticky digits pressing at his hole. Spike smirked up at him, and Angel felt his mouth open and his face scrunch as two of the fingers breached him at once. Spike dragged him forward by the hip so he was kneeling, and thrust the fingers back in. He pulled Angel down, so he was on all fours above him. Angel watched him lick his other fingers, and he moved those round, and exchanged the fingers in his hole.
�Oooh Spike �� Angel could her himself whimpering. His face was scrunching with the penetration and he could see Spike�s leer beneath him, enjoying every second. The blue eyes danced over his face. The fingers pulled out, and traced around his hole for a moment.
�Sit back, pet,� Spike crooned.
Angel rocked back obediently and felt Spike�s cock prodding at his hole. He looked round and saw the blood covered flesh behind positioned by Spike�s bitten hand.
Spike locked eyes with him, blue eyes mesmerising him. Spike reached up with one hand, slowly pushing him back by the shoulders. Angel heard little noises escaping from his throat as he felt Spike�s cock entering him, opening him up as he sat back.
He stopped when he started feeling too full, but Spike rubbed his thighs encouragingly and he pushed back further.
�Good, baby, you�re so good.� Spike murmured, letting his lithe body fall back on the bed.
Angel could feel Spike, hard inside him. He stayed, unsure and tense. Spike looked up at him, blue eyes darkened, his eyelashes thick and black, his skin pale in the dark room. Spike kissed the air at him, and he could feel a smile edging onto his face.
�Rock, pet. Rock for me.�
Angel started a gentle motion that moved Spike inside him. His inner walls were being prodded electrically by the hard length inside and Angel was whimpering and biting his lip. Spike took hold of his hips and circled them around, and Angel yelped as Spike came in contact with that magic spot.
�You�re beautiful, so pretty, like this, with me inside you.� Spike purred. �Your body straining, the look on your face, I never want to leave.�
Angel nodded erratically, the pressure in his body building.
�Look at me. When you come. I want to see your eyes.� Spike grunted out as he began to thrust into the body above him. �Don�t close them. Don�t be shy.�
Angel looked at the ceiling and then down into Spike�s face. His pink lips were parted as his body moved, slipping into Angel�s in a dance he�d perfected over centuries. He couldn�t leave this beautiful creature underneath, couldn�t imagine being without.
�Will you be here � when � tomorrow?� Angel asked between thrusts.
�Yes, pet, right here. Come.�
�Promise?� Angel said, falling forward, holding himself up with his arms, as Spike�s thrusts became fiercer.
�Yes, luv, Come now, for me.� Spike grunted, liquid gold swirling into his eyes.
�Spike?� Angel stopped thrusting back, letting Spike pound into him, barely holding off his climax.
�What?� Spike growled, fangs gleaming, as his own barred orgasm clawed painfully at his balls.
�Do you love me?� he asked softly.
Spike grabbed Angel�s face and rolled them over, kissing him brutally drawing blood, and scraping fang against tooth. Angel came with a cry, a painful sounding yelp into Spike�s mouth as he covered them both with his spend. Spike came as well, thrusting as he filled Angel with his own, feeling it start to leak out around his cock and onto his sac.
�Yes, I love you.� Spike breathed into his hair.
Angel panted into his shoulder, feeling himself drooling onto Spike�s skin and not stopping it. His heart felt like it was burning. He could feel Spike�s arms around him, stroking his sweaty skin.
�I love you.� Angel said dreamily. "You have good hands."
"Thankyou, pet."
He rolled off and lay on a cool part of the bed sheets. He looked over at Spike through sleepy eyes. He still had his face on. Angel didn�t care, he really did look like a cat, and it suited him, it matched his feline grace. Angel meowed and then giggled at Spike�s confused face. He felt very loved right now. Spike loved him, so it didn�t matter what had happened. A sudden sickening thought struck him.
�Do you love me or who I was?�
Spike looked at him. His mouth turned up at the corner. �You.�
�What if he comes back? Will you still love me?�
Spike came closer and stared into his eyes.
�Cause I�m different. I wouldn�t be me if I was him.� Angel continued.
�No you�re not him.� Spike agreed quickly, smiling.
�But you love me right?� He could hear a desperate tinge to his voice.
�I love you.�
Angel felt weight slipping off his shoulders. He moved closer to Spike.
�It�s scary. I�m scared I�m going to get my memories back.� He rambled softly. �And then you wont like me. Will you remember me?�
�Yes Angel, I will remember you now, just as you are, and I love you and only you, and I wont go anywhere before you wake up.� Spike rattled off.
�Spike?�
�What.� It came out as a statement.
�What if I never am him again?�
�What?� came the tired question above his head.
�What if I never get the memories back?�
Silence answered him, so Angel got up and looked at his face worried. �Would you be sad?�
�Would you?� Spike asked.
�No. Because I only know me. You knew both of us.� He frowned. �All three of us. Including the evil one.�
Spike chuckled. �I like you best.�
�Thanks.� Angel said and wiped his hair back off his forehead.
Spike laughed. �You are like the other one though, ducks. You think too much. But not about depressing things. You�re just him, but happy.�
�Oh.� Angel felt happier and lay back down. �Well that�s good. Because Spike?�
�Yep?�
�I don�t think the memories are coming back.�
Spike shifted under him. �Why?�
�Not getting dreams anymore.� He yawned. �Not getting little flashes anymore. It was really strong when I first woke up, like I could almost remember who I was. But now, I haven�t a clue about him.�
Spike was silent for a long while.
�Spike?�
�You�re still him.�
�Yeah�� Angel said not convinced. �Would you miss him?�
Spike snuffed. �No, not really, it�s just � I knew him for a long time. But you�re better. Sleep.�
Angel yawned again. His nose still hurt. He closed his eyes. He wondered if Spike was missing the other Angel. He hoped not. Although, the other Angel looked a lot bigger than him. He frowned.
�Am I too skinny for you? Do I look like a junkie?�
�We just had sex Angel, I find you attractive. But you�re even prettier when you sleep. Try that.�
�Shut up.�
He closed his eyes, and felt the hard muscles beneath his cheek. He relaxed and threw his arm over Spike�s waist. Angel had almost drifted off to sleep, when Spike suddenly tensed up.
�Oh bugger. I should probably take you to meet your son.�