Title: Carry On, Part Four � Infernally Mortal
Author: Inca
Come on you can do it at [email protected]
Rating NC 17 *details torture*
Angel/Spike
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, I just like to play with them
Spoilers: Up to 5.22 �Not Fade Away�
Summary: Memories are a bitch
Authors notes: Robert Service delivered the title, which is also the title of his poem. I thought of it when I read the transcript for �Not Fade Away�.
And no, the fact that the boys spend a lot of this story playing with phallic objects was not unintentional.
Italics indicate something that�s happened in the past.
Angel�s direct thoughts indicated by a tab space.
For more stories by me, come to http://www.geocities.com/slasherphiles
~~~
It�s a different song when everything�s wrong,
When you�re feeling infernally mortal;
Part Two � Infernally Mortal
***
A demon, obviously of a high rank, walked over to Angel, his soldiers stepping out of the way. The battle boomed around them, the demons attacking each other ferociously. Angel was lead aside, to ground the newcomers had taken, safe for the time being.
�Angel.� The young demon said, shaking Angel�s hand. �Do you remember me?�
Angel could remember the face but the name escaped him. Then it clicked. �Rieff.�
Rieff smiled.
Illyria stepped forward. �You know this one. How?�
Rieff looked at Angel; �He saved my family once.�
�You saved all these demons?� Gunn asked, looking out across the streets of L.A.
�Just my family. Well he thought.� Rieff nodded at Angel. �But he got us to Briole. And there we found a gateway. To our world.�
He smiled at Angel. �This is our first regiment.� He swept his hand expansively over his armour-plated army.
�Why? Why did you come back from your world to help?� Spike asked.
�I am in debt. You helped me back to my world. You risked your life for us. The Koronus species was in debt. We hope this evens us out.�
�Debt paid in full.� Angel nodded.
�We came through another gateway, a portal. We can call them up using this.� He indicated a glass pendant around his neck, filled with a blue mist. �If we are in trouble, we�ll just jump back through.�
�This is my fight Rieff, Your men will die, some at least.�
�This is a good cause to die for. Better then being hit by a car or falling over and breaking your neck. A noble death is all anyone can ask for. Fight the good fight. Your friend Doyle taught me that.�
Angel smiled sadly. �Thankyou.�
�And thankyou. I never said it before.�
�The time is different here.� Illyria observed suddenly, now that she had time away from the battle.
�Yes,� Rieff frowned, �We noticed that when we stepped in. Time has stopped. That�s why no humans have interfered in the fight. We believe the leaders of the opposition have created this flux.�
Angel nodded. �So we kill them, it goes back to normal?�
Rieff shrugged. �I guess.�
�Then lets get back to it.�
Rieff made Gunn hold back as he, Angel, Spike and Illyria charged to the front line. Fighting alongside Rieff�s well armed people; they pushed their unprepared attackers back easily. The large dragon, which had been peppering Angel�s side with fire, was taken down through flaming arrows and a large catapult like machine, which Rieff called a �Dusenloff�. The dragon�s large orange body lay in the street, wood sticking out of its scaly belly like porcupine needles.
�The Senior Partners thought they were gonna beat us with numbers.� Spike scoffed as he used his sword to slice through the air.
�The Senior Partners were wrong.� Angel stated, stabbing one of the attackers through the stomach.
As their battalion thinned, the Senior Partners growled, their snarls echoing through the air and shaking Angel�s bones.
�What was that?� Spike asked, looking through the retreating demons.
�The Senior Partners. And they�re not happy.� Angel said.
They started following the evacuating demons back to Wolfram and Hart.
***
�So if you were as bad as me, why do you do it?�
The next day Angel had found Spike working in the training area downstairs. Angel had done some reading. In his own pile of things he�d found a book titled �Angelus: Actuality or Allegory?� Once over the fact that he was apparently vain enough to own a book about himself, he opened it. And he realised that vanity didn�t hold ownership of the book, his guilt did. The book detailed the horrible things he�d done. It held early crime scene sketches, eyewitness accounts, his feeding habits, his apparent fondness of sexually dominating his victims, and sketches of the aftermath of that too. Everything, even down to the smallest details of his height and approximate weight.
He couldn�t remember any of the things the book described, and could not imagine himself, his body, his hands doing any of it.
I guess that�s why the gypsies gave my soul back. The world couldn�t handle me without one.
It wasn�t a pleasant thought. The book had also mentioned Spike offhandedly, so they must have been around each other a lot.
One question kept burning in his mind, which is why he�d found Spike to ask him.
�I mean, how can you live with yourself, how can you be alright with what you�ve done, enough to start over?�
Spike had a punching bag in the centre of the room, and he was rhythmically punching it. He was dressed in work-out gear, just a wifebeater and sweatpants, his feet bare as he danced around his punching bag sparring partner.
�You learn. It becomes a need.�
�You need to help people?�
Spike punched the bag one last time before turning to Angel in the doorway. He wiped the sweat away from his upper lip with the back of his hand.
�Yes.� He said, �Now I can remember all the people I�ve helped.�
�Do you think it will ever balance out?�
Spike shook his head slowly. �No, I don�t think taking a life will ever balance out, even if I save ten thousand people. It�ll never add up, I�ll always be in debt.�
�Then why do you do it?� Angel asked again.
�Because I want to. Because someone has to, and I�m better suited to the job. Because it�s important, to save people, because I wish someone had been there to save me.� Spike said, his words echoing off the brick of the walls and the wooden floors, �Because I like being a man who tries to help, who tries to stop the kinda things I became.�
Angel nodded.
�Is that why I helped?�
�Yes, although at first I think you did it to redeem yourself.�
�At first?�
�Yeah. Then I guess you realised life doesn�t have a big payoff at the end.�
�Did I fight? Up until the end? Until whatever happened?�
Spike smiled. �You went out fighting.�
�Teach me.�
�You don�t remember?� Spike asked, concerned.
Angel shook his head.
Spike walked across the padded mats and pulled a broad sword off the wall. He walked back towards Angel.
�Take off your shoes. Well Gunn�s shoes.�
�Now?�
�No, next week, Wednesday 10:30.�
Angel kicked his shoes off.
�Socks too.�
He plucked them off.
�Anything else?�
�Yep, the hoodie. Can�t move around in it properly.�
Angel didn�t move.
�What?� Spike asked.
�I don�t have anything on underneath.�
Spike crinkled his brow in bemusement. �And what? You don�t want me to see your tits?�
Angel made a face and pulled the sweater off over his head. Spike glanced at his chest, much thinner because of the coma, light hair dusting across, and down along his sternum. He nervously dropped the sweater to the floor, now dressed only in low slung sweatpants.
�Okay, now what?�
�Here,� Spike said handing him the sword. �Swords always fun to learn. Show me how you�d use it.�
Angel took hold of it uncertainly. It felt heavy and strange in his hand. He held it up and made a weak stab in the air. Spike looked unimpressed.
�Try again, but this time, get a firm grip and be sure of what you want to do.�
Angel tightened his grip on the sword, but made no further moves. Realising Angel was going to need more direction; Spike motioned him over to the centre of the room, and grabbed a sword off the wall himself.
�Now we�re just gonna do gentle moves, left to right, till you understand how to control it.�
Spike stood next to him, slowly slicing the blade through the air. Angel copied.
�Good. Now put two hands on the hilt, like this,� Spike instructed, showing Angel how to cup one hand further down than the other, �And draw a sideways eight in the air.�
The movement they were now doing, by twisting their wrists, was a fluid motion from left to right, also including up and down. Spike started changing his motion so that the sword was slicing up the side of him. Angel caught on to this quickly, mimicking each move well.
�This isn�t too hard.� Angel commented, keeping his sword steady.
�Course not, you already know it.�
�Right.� Angel frowned, unsure.
�Now, I�ll just quickly run through some routines.�
Spike showed him how to do a few defence moves, blocking mostly, and Angel�s gaze never left his sword blade. He numbered each move.
�Now when I call out the numbers of each move, I want you to do that, okay?�
�Right.�
�Four.�
Angel immediately brought the sword up in a cross body block.
�Good. Seven.�
Angel tilted the sword down so it ran parallel to his body.
�Very good.�
�Six � One � Three � Four again � Ten.�
After Angel had successfully completed each move three or four times, Spike decided to step in.
�Now I�m going to attack you, slowly, and I�ll call out the numbers of the moves I want you to do. That way, you can get an idea of what someone looks like when they�re attacking, and hopefully, remember it.�
Angel looked a bit worried, but Spike stepped in front of him anyway.
�Alright now slow�� Spike brought his sword up and stepped slowly forward, �Ten.�
Angel swept his sword from left to right, taking Spike�s sword with the momentum. Spike attacked again, quicker this time.
�Five.�
Angel successfully parried.
�Okay, now try seven.� He stepped forward, but Angel hesitated, confused. He held his sword at a 45 degree angle over his chest, but Angel knew it was too weak. Spike stepped forward and tried to move Angel�s arm into the right position. After a few unsuccessful attempts he swapped his sword to the other arm and stood behind the bigger man. His arm over Angel�s, he showed him how his posture should be. Smiling behind the safety of Angel�s shoulder, he noticed that Angel was very uncomfortable with Spike being so close. He pushed his knee between the older vampires legs �Your legs should be like this� he said, as he kicked them further apart.
After a while Spike stopped saying which block to use. Angel made a few mistakes but on the whole was pretty good.
Spike decided to run through a few Kata. Simple, tranquil ones that would just move him in a line or two, and back again.
�How do you know all this?� Angel asked when Spike was showing him how to correctly position his feet.
�Angelus taught me.� he answered, tapping Angel�s foot with his own to move it.
As soon as his name crossed Spikes lips, Angel�s mind stuttered � and landed on a memory.
He could see the back of Spike�s head at first. He was very close to it, his hair was a reddish brown, not the white blond it was now, but it was definitely Spike. His face turned to look back over his shoulder, his blue eyes wide and smouldering, his lips flushed and parted. He turned back around and stared ahead. As Angel drew back he could see Spike�s back was bare, his skin caressed by a flickering light. His gaze moved left and he saw a huge fire, burning away in a fireplace. They were in a room, a very expensive looking room, filled with plush chairs and gleaming wooden furniture.
�Angelus�� Spike�s husky whisper drew his attention.
�Hush.� He answered in an Irish accent, �Hush now.�
His gaze continued down Spike�s back until he realised that Spike was naked. His hands were clasped around the top of the couch he was bent over, his arms holding his weight as he rocked back and forward slightly. Angel�s gaze continued down until he was looking down his own naked torso to see his hands wrapped around Spike�s pale hips as he thrust himself brutally into Spike�s tight channel.
�Oh you�re so tight Willy, always � so tight,� he muttered, whispering into Spike�s ear, feeling his body tremble at the words. �You love this, the way I take you? Always wanting. Are you my whore Willy?�
�Yes�� Spike rambled as his body smacked into the couch, �Anything � Angelus��
�Yes my whore, my tight, ready whore.� Angel started thrusting faster, making Spike howl and grip the couch tighter.
�My beautiful William.�
�Angel, your foots still not right.�
Angel stared at him, Spikes eyes steadily watching Angel�s feet. Angel moved it.
�Perfect, now start the Kata.�
***
Later that day, Angel was sleeping fitfully.
He was towering over a woman in a filthy alley. She wore a huge red dress, and he could hear horses trotting in the background.
�Please don�t �urt me sir! Please, I ain�t never done an�thing to ya! PLEASE! Have mercy, I�m beggin� ya!�
Angel pulled a long thin knife from his patterned coat. She began to sob hysterically.
�Ah, me darling, it�s not about mercy. It�s an experience. Tell me, do you believe in God?�
She didn�t answer so he kicked her, hard, smiling when he heard her rib crack. She nodded tears running down her face. He kneeled down next to her, covering her face with his gloved hand. He pulled her skirts off, tossing them to the side, watching the filthy garbage stain the fabric.
�Well then, aren�t you glad you�ll be seeing him soon?� he asked, as he began to needle his knife into her thigh.
Angel woke in a sweat.
What was that? Practical Sensible screamed in his head.
He got out of his bed and stared at the crumpled bed sheets, as if they had a hand in his nightmare.
Was it a nightmare? Or was that a memory.
Angel shook his head.
I couldn�t have done that, oh, that woman, she was so scared! No!
He breathed quickly through his nose. As he was trying to calm himself another memory crept in.
He was talking to a tall woman with long brown hair.
�I love children, don�t you Dru?�
The woman began to dance. He turned his gaze to the girls and boys huddled in the corner. The youngest was about five.
�I make her dance you know. I taught her that music. Do you want me to teach it to you as well?�
One girl ran for the door, but he caught her by the jaw, breaking her neck.
�We�ll all learn the music. It will ring in your ears long after you�ve been buried and mourned. You�ll hear me forever.�
Dru continued to dance.
Angel ran down the hall, trying to flee from the memories.
�Seventy six�
The man howled as Angel plunged the sewing needle into his stomach.
�Seventy seven� Angel counted as he used a different part of his body as a target.
Angel started screaming as he ran blindly, like a horse trying to outrun pain. He crashed into the kitchen table, falling to the floor.
�Willy, watch, you can count how many bones are in the human body.�
He approached the young girl who was lying strapped to the table. He cracked her finger. She screamed into her gag.
�Count, Willy.� Angel growled.
�One.�
�NO!� Angel screamed as he backed up against the wall. �NO! NO! It wasn�t!�
Spike ran into the kitchen, his eyes bleary from sleep.
Angel saw him and tried to back away forgetting he was up against the wall. He stood and fell, scraping his face open against the kitchen counter top.
�Angel! Calm!� Spike ordered. He bent down and grabbed his shoulders. �Calm down.�
Angel kept trying to back away; he was in shock, not understanding what was being said to him.
�No, no, wasn�t me, I didn�t � no� He was rambling, quietly now, shaking his head, his body shivering, his eyes flicking all over the kitchen.
�Angel listen to me, you�ve probably just had a memory. They might be seeping back in, like. It�s all right. I know its probably bad stuff you�re seeing, but it will get better. I promise.� He kept talking as Angel fidgeted.
Sighing, knowing Angel wasn�t going to calm down, he did the only thing he could think of. What he used to do when his victims got hysterical and started shrieking. He put his hand across Angel�s face, pulled his head forward and slammed the back of Angel�s skull fiercely against the wall, knocking him out. When Angel�s body slumped into his arms, he picked him up and carried him back to his room.
He opened the bedroom door and saw the bed sheets in disarray. He put Angel on the bed, pulling the sheets up over him. Sweat slicked strands of Angel�s hair were sticking to his forehead drew Spikes attention. He brushed them back tenderly, as Angel started twisting in his sleep.
He sat on the bed staring down at him. �It�ll get better. I promise.� He said, stroking Angel�s hair back over his ears.
Angel frowned and let out a low whine, his body relaxed again. Spike realised what he was doing and bolted up, quickly walking out the door.
He lay down on his bed, listening to Angel wavering between whimpers and growls in the next room.
Time passed and he slept.