DIARY OF A SOULMATE


Pairing: Josh/Justin
Rating: PG-ish�cause there�s death.
Summary: Life without his soulmate is not life at all.

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October 3,2001

I felt you leave today; just like that you were gone. I didn�t need to hear the news or watch Gideon Yago announce your departure to the world. I knew the second you were gone. I even felt it miles away. I felt my heart breaking in two. I always feared you�d leave and now you�re really gone.
November 12, 2001
I can�t live without you baby, I need you so much. Life isn�t life without you. I don�t know what to do. The memories invade my every waking moment and all I can do is cry.
The world didn�t lose just you on that day, the world lost me too. I�m not the same without you. The guys say I�ve become a shadow of myself. I know I have, because without you I don�t think I exist.
January 31, 2002
It�s your birthday baby. I can feel you here. I can almost touch your face. I can almost feel your lips. Unfortunately almost isn�t good enough. I�m trying baby. I swear I�m trying so hard to get to you. Just wait. I�ll be there.
March 7, 2002
I wake up I think of you. I lay down I dream of you. I walk and imagine you. Everything I do involves you. I�m going. I�m on my way. Just keep waiting for me. I�m getting there.
March 26, 2002
They say I talk to myself sometimes. I try to explain to them that I�m talking to you but they won�t hear it baby, they think I�m losing my mind. They�re concerned now. They say this has gone on too long. How could it be too long? I�m still away from you. I won�t stop hurting until I find you again. Where are you hiding? Please just let me know so I can find you.
May 24, 2002
The world is fading out. My family�s concerned. I can�t stop. I�m trying so hard to reach you. I know I�m almost there. Everyone knows I�m almost there and they�re scared. I�m not scared though �cause I can just faintly feel your arms around me and you keep me safe.
May 28, 2002
I have to work harder now. They�re trying to keep me from you. They�ve even got doctors. But I won�t give up baby.  Don�t let me go. I won�t stop fighting to reach you. It�s a little harder now but I�m gonna make it into your arms again I swear.
June 4, 2002
God it feels so good to feel you so close. The world is disappearing and I can feel you baby. I can almost see you. I�m so close I�m on the edge. I can still hear the guys begging me to stay and my mother crying but I can hear you singing our song and I�m driven closer to you.
June 6, 2002
Oh God baby your so beautiful! I missed you so much! Life was hell without you. I needed you so much. Nobody understood, you are me and I am you. One can�t exist without the other. I love you baby. Wherever you go, I won�t be far behind.
June 9, 2002
They don�t understand why I had to go. They don�t see that you are my life and without you life is pointless. At least they understand how much we love each other. My grave is right next to yours, see:
Here Lies
Joshua Scott Timberlake-Chasez
August 8, 1976-June 6, 2002
Beloved Partner, Son, Brother, Friend and Soulful Musician
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