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| I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head. That way, they'd still be good as watchdogs, but they wouldn't eat so much. |
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| One thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse. |
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| The funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes! Hey, better try the emergency brake! |
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| If you're pretty happy, but you have a little Chihuahua that's always biting your ankles, still that's pretty good isn't it? I'm going to go ahead and keep you in the "happy" catagory. |
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| I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but its just the eggs hatching. |
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| It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man. |
| It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight. |
| When people say that the desert is lifeless, it just makes me want to grab them by the collar and yell, "Why, you stupid, stupid bastard!" Then I drive them out into the desert to where the circus is, and point out the many forms of zebra and clown life. |