SDtrip001

"Variations & Experimentations on the proverbial HOW MUCH FUN IS TOO MUCH FUN Query"

9/22/01-Time to hit the road. First stop on the roadtrip: big shindig at THE MOMO LOUNGE inside HARLOW'S in Sacramento. "Monty the Magical Manatee" (my imaginary friend) keeps the tapes of G. Love, High Llamas, Stereolab and R.L. Burnside roaring out the shpeaks while I gargle on green tea and frozen waffles. We're tearin' into Sacto. We're a little late. No time to eat. Check into the room, order some faux porno, wriggle into a loud shirt, zoom to club and order up a bucket of bread and a bathtub of Stoli & tonic. Downbeat. Johno Livia Newton Johno has his crew o' babes there, "Rocky", "Looraw" and "Suzette". P-Trickle has "Bree from Paree" in tow. The music is kickin'...the Stoli & tonic is kickin' in. It's fun. It's festive. It's a Saturday night at HARLOW'S! Back to the room in time to pull a muscle in my low back building a keen fort with the two king size mattresses.

9/23/01- Bakersfield? Bakersfield California? Who knows why...but...THE SILVER FOX COCKTAIL LOUNGE, THE TOWNHOUSE LOUNGE, THE ALLEY CAT BAR and closing time at THE MINT. This town has some cool bars. And the Econo Lodge on Oak has a real loud carpet cleaning machine that starts up around 8 AM. "Mabshood, there's a naked man screaming in room #21!"

9/24/01- "Monty the Magical Manatee" is singing along with Sammy Davis Jr. as I pull into San Diego. "Sock it TOWARDS me baby!" I make the scene in a big way in Little Italy. I soak my low back and scrub my 12 rubber heads in a Super 8 jacuzzi while watching the little frightened faces in the little steamy windows on the jittering jumbo jets as they land at Lindburgh Field.

9/25/01- It's BLIND MELON'S Blues Jam in Pacific Beach featuring "Slam Buckra"! Special thanks to Zak-Man! And by golly, looky there, it's the literary and drink pourin' legend ED DECKER behind the bar....ruffled feathers are being quickly dampened and smoothed....AND I AM DEFINITELY sporting a handful of ruffled, twisted and bent feathers thanks to the sadly familiar facist blues society vibe, on this evening eminating from "San Diego Blues Society Joe". Ed's beverages, Zak's graciousness and re-meeting Chet Cannon make all thangs swell. I cozy up to the spot on the stage where I had stood and sweat over 250 times before and debuted a brand new tune called "Blizzard of Boom-A-Rangs" written earlier that evening on the roof of Hennessey's Tavern. I stormed and plowed my way through 2 more tunes, and called it a night. Deed done, I scramble to THE SILVER FOX to visit REUBEN (thanks you for the Rooskie Blancos!) and then to PATRICK'S II to say howdy to MICHAEL, JONNY VIAU, BILLY SEWARD, Marco & Greg Willis. What a slick band of pros! Back to the Super 8 jacuzzi with "Monty the Magical Manatee" to test my inflatible dinosaurs and rinse out Manny's polka dot bow tie.

9/26/01- This day was filled with an amazing assortment of events that irrevocably altered the course of my life. Most of which my spirirtual advisor advises me to not share with y'all. But I CAN tell ya, I met "Sudsy" the female trapeze instructor in the Super 8 jacuzzi. And she was more than happy to assist me in writing my web address on a dozen rubber heads. Later, I gave her a tour of La Jolla Shores (my old stompin' grounds). We went to the door of the house I grew up in at 7926 Paseo Del Ocaso posing as San Diego County Health Department officials. No one was home, except "Juanella" (used to be Juan) the maid. We let ourselves in,, and helped ourselves to the fancy ass tequila. "Sudsy" and I spent the evening hours shopping for industrial strength cleaning products in an all-night supermarket across from the Sports Arena. (Bite mark impression samples available upon written request. Contact Sal Goldstein Attorney at Law.)

9/27/01- As I roll into the strangled and sublimely sterile community of Carlsbad, Nick Cave, Roland Kirk and Burt Bacharach are blarin' on the auto hi-fi! It's time for our annual show at "The Coyote Bar & Grill". The Groove Palookas arrive from distant and varied locations looking well scrubbed and ready to eat. As usual, everyone working at "The Coyote Bar & Grill" is absolutely professional and courteous. The grub is way yummy and the beverages are scrumpt-de-licious. We begin to awaken and disturb the mumified yuppies with some funk & grins. We are THRILLED to see the smiling faces and dancin' feets of LINDA, JO, JEANETTE and Larry arrive! Things begin to sass-i-fy. A "FREE BOOZE BETWEEN 8 AND 8:30" drink special helps to fuel the fire! (Now THAT'S a drink special!) By 11:11 I'm rollin' outta Legoland on my way to the RED FOX LOUNGE with Chris Montez, Deano and Lullabye Baxter serenading on me the cassette deck. At the RED FOXX LOUNGE "Chantelle" the stauesque red-head swede with a French accent is serving some knockout Rooskie Blancos....TILL 2:22 am!? Can you say "HAPPY SLAM"?

9/28/01- Planned recording session is scrapped. Squeegie didn't come through with directions. And my wallet says "like hell...". Instead, it's FUN DAY with the Palookas! Shoppin', eatin', drinkin', gettin' lost in my `ol home town with Soul Coughing pounding outta Johno's car stereo. We run into Terry (the legendary doorman from the legendary Bacchanal) at CHEETAHS and score some "complimentary passes". Many tall glasses of pineapple juice and a steamy lap or two later....shoppin', eatin', drinkin'...etc.

9/29/01- It is ADAMS AVENUE STREET FAIR time! We score our "Hollywood Suites" (I'm in the "HUMPhrey Bogart Room", the Palookas are in the "Fred MacMurry Room", Mojo Nixon is in the "Charles Nelson Reilly Room"). I quickly (yet carefully) fill my binoculars with "happy juice" and we're off to the street fair! Phil the stage manager at the 33rd Street Roots Stage was fabulous. What a pro! Vinnie the soundman was apparently suffering from some acute genetic malady, but we didn't let it slow down our raging grins! There were lotza happy and vaguely familiar faces in the crowd....Stretch, Jose Sinatra, Ann, MB, Johnny Ingram, Dano & Suzanne, Babs, Marta Gee, Owen Burke, Larry Czoka, Rick Wlkins, Linda, Jo.....We barreled through our set hittin' alot of smile spots on the musical map. We played all the hits and a new one titled "Stick It In (Break It Off)". Patrick & Johno were groovin' and gigglin'....and I was as happy as a man with "happy juice" in his binoculars! The bewildered and bitter "rock-a-billy" musicians were sneering at us.. Everything in nature was in it's perfectist place! Rubber heads were tossed, CDs sold, encores were executed. It was now time to help Mojo Nixon apply some lime to his gin and roam Adams Avenue in search of hard liquor, soft Louisianna sausage and the amazing Jose Sinatra Show!

There's more below!

After hittin' all the stops at the Street Fair we all gather at the Red Fox Lounge to join in the piano bar fun! The Rooskie Blancos are flowin' freely. Johno and Patrick are cozied up to the piano digging the happy ambience! Suddenly I heard Mojo Nixon gagging on a t-bone in the dining room. I scurried to the rescue with an attempted heimlich manuever, but Mojo's just TOO BIG for me to get my arms around. So I used my legs. The leg postion was so succesful the t-bone AND a violet colored velvet doll shoe BOTH came flying from Mojo's mouth (in addition a wee bit of Rooskie Blanco came foamin' outta mine). Mojo was helped to his room. Back to the piano! The cello player who had been sittin' in had taken my seat next to the brunette at the piano bar. There was a brief scuffle that involved yet ANOTHER heimlich manuever by "yours truly". I got my seat back, AND a peace offering of either 10 free cello lessons or free drinks for the rest of the evening. I ordered a double Rooskie Blanco and TWO big fat bendy straws. Around 5 AM we had a skinny dippin' seance in the swimming pool attempting to reach the late great Beach Boy Dennis Wilson. Dennis did not respond, but drummer Patrick seemed certain the ghost of Groucho Marx goosed him with a cigar.

9/30/01- I'm up and in the pool by 9 AM calling out for Groucho. I send the Palookas to "Rudfords" for grub while I swim around the pool drain looking for cigar remenants. We convoy to PATRICK'S II to load-in. All is running smoothly. Maybe a little too smooth. When I return to my room I find every one of my 14 little "travel size" bottles of "Listerine" broken to bits and pieces all over the bathroom floor! There's a message on the shower wall scribbled in parakeet blood (I'll explain later). The message says "play misty for me, asshole!"...I'm beginning to think the seance wasn't a good idea. Was it Humphrey? Mojo? The cello player? Dennis Wilson's father Murry? No time to investigate. I need to bandage my feet and get to PATRICK'S II for the show!

It looks like another wild one at 428 F Street! Michael is behind the bar, and a "6 minute" kami is being chilled just for me. Drummer Patrick is muttering something about Groucho's rough ways....bassist Johno has a wet soggy cigar hanging out of his mouth, and "Misty" is playing on the jukebox. As we begin funkin' & boppin' I notice lotza familiar faces in the house...Gary Schnieder, Rob, Zak, Babs, Lucky, Dano, Linda, Dottie, Jeanette, Patrick Burke and the ghost of the late great Blonde Bruce. The butt, "Manny" the mannequin, the black widow spider glove, and the inflatable dinosaurs all contribute to the show! Seemed like we had JUST began and Michael is signaling for "one more". I sing "My Way" (interupted momentarily by a heckling business man from Finland) and it's time to say goodnight. The lights come up to reveal some very "cheery" people who don't seem to want the party to end! I do what I can to get the situation under control.... unfortunately there's only room for 5 or 6 in the SlaMobile. The next thing I remember is waking up in a hallway, on the 7th floor of the Holiday Inn in Bakersfield, on Wednesday evening (3 days later), wearing a "walkman" blaring "You Light Up My Life" by Debbie Boone....in a "Buck Owens" red white & blue nightgown.. Bakersfield......it's sort of a second home to me now.