Chapter Seventeen
Raven sat in her cell, staring at the wall. She had forgotten about her binding to her Circle. It was the one thing on her past that she hadn’t remembered, and after all the hatred from Outsiders she’d lived through, it was a witch thing
that was taking her down. Right then she would have given anything to have her charm, because she could feel Nick’s agony. She knew he was dying inside,
and there was nothing she could do to help him.
She would have to say good-bye the next day. She knew she would have to tell them that she was committed to her old Circle. She had to marry the boy that had taken her father’s place. She would have to hurt Nick. He would get on with his life without her – he had to. She knew she had to, as well, but she didn’t know if Nick could go on without her. She had to find out
if she could keep living without him. She broke down and burst into tears, burying her face in her pillow.
Cry all you want , came the voice of the old woman said in her mind. You’ll never see the youth again.
Leave me alone! Raven cried. She shielded her mind and fell asleep.
The rest of the Circle had trooped down to AJ’s place after making sure that Nick was safe in bed.
“How could this happen?” Diana breathed, still in shock.
“Maybe AJ knows something about this old coven,” Melanie suggested.
“Will Nick be all right?” Deborah asked anxiously.
Laurel sighed. “I don’t know. Losing your soulmate is probably the worst thing that can happen to a person.” Laurel bit her lip and said softly, “I don’t know if he’ll survive.”
“Let’s try to find out what’s going on,” Adam suggested. The group clustered on AJ’s back porch and Doug rattled the screen door. There was light shining out through the windows so they figured that someone was still awake.
“Come in!” a voice called cheerfully. The screen door slid open and Trey stared out at them.
“What, are you guys planning a pool party in the middle of February?” AJ called from within. “I’ve already had a party, thanks.”
“We need to ask you some stuff about Raven,” Cassie said. Trey stood back and opened the door, sensing something in her voice. The group filed
into the living room, their faces grim.
AJ put down his Playstation joystick and stood up.
“What’s wrong? Is Dove all right?” he asked.
Adam and Cassie exchanged looks before Cassie spoke.
“Her old Circle came to take her back,” Cassie said. “What do you know about this Circle of hers?”
AJ shrugged, shoving one hand into his pocket. “I didn’t know much. I only knew that she was a witch and that she would become part of that Circle when she turned fifteen. They came to take her back? I thought she was part of your Circle.”
“The old woman who came to take her called her Dove and said something about her being bound to her Circle,” Melanie said. “Did Raven say anything about when she would join the Circle?”
“Raven said that her Circle – I think it was called Circle Midnight – was always there and that it was part of her. She was destined to join it. Like the curious kid I was, I asked her what would happen if her family moved away or she ran away from home or something. We’d always planned to run away from home as soon as we were old enough or had enough money.” AJ smiled sadly. “So they found her, huh?”
“You knew about this?” Adam demanded.
“Dove always said that no matter where she was her Circle would find her. I just assumed that they would give up as soon as she joined any Circle.” AJ shrugged. “Dove was given this ceremony where her Power was tested and she was bound to the Circle for life. I just assumed that she could join any Circle and they would be happy.”
“What do you know about the ceremony?” Diana asked.
AJ frowned. Trey was watching, listening curiously.
“I watched it from a hiding place on the beach. I know that Dove didn’t want to do it. It was just before her sixth birthday, on a lunar eclipse.” AJ’s eyes
darkened. “I remember because the moon was a bloody shade of red.” His eyes
were distant, and right then the others knew that he was six years old, crouched on the beach in the darkness watching a coven. “I could remember that Dove didn’t want to join any Circle. I thought that she was stupid because she was refusing to learn more about her Power and she could get really strong.” He smiled faintly. “You know what kids think of Power, that they’ll be like Superman or whatever. But they had her in the Circle, chanting. Dove was struggling the whole time. The leader, a really old woman, was holding this big silver knife. I had to bite my tongue to stop from screaming as the old woman slit Dove’s wrist. There was blood everywhere – the suicide cut, the right way to do it. Dove was just standing there, staring. Then she grabbed the knife and
held it and was yelling these words. The rest of the witches freaked out. A massive sandstorm blew up. It took all of the rest of the Circle to make it stop. Then the old woman gave Dove her blue crystal that she’s always worn. The old woman told Dove some long boring story about the knife. I almost fell asleep during it. But then the
ceremony was over and her parents took her home. I don’t remember what the old woman did with the knife. But I heard her talking. She was saying something about Dove being way powerful and to keep certain things away from her. I don’t remember what those things were.” AJ frowned, then shrugged.
Diana’s and Melanie’s mouths dropped open. AJ noticed them and gave them a questioning look.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“It was a blood ritual that was used by the Old Coven to make sure that they would always have twelve members,” Diana said faintly, as if she were
in shock. “What did the knife look like?”
“Silver hilt, probably steel blade, carvings of the moon all over the hilt,” AJ said.
Cassie’s eyes went wide. “The Master Tool!”
“There were two covens in the beginning,” Adam said. “Raven must have belonged to the old one that we lost track of at the beginning of the Books.”
“And they’ve reclaimed her,” Cassie whispered.
“What are we going to do about my cousin?” Deborah demanded.
“Raven can never come back – if she leaves her old coven she’ll die,” Melanie said. “We’ll have to find some way to get Nick through this.”
“They gave in to the silver cord,” Laurel said. “Nick will feel everything Raven does. It’s like he’s been torn in half.”
AJ was looking back and forth between the speakers. “All right, you’ve lost me now.”
“Thanks, AJ,” Adam said, sounding suddenly tired. “Come on, we have work tomorrow. And happy birthday.”
The group trooped out of AJ’s living room, various calls of ‘Happy Birthday!’ floating after them. They,were all deep in thought as they crossed the sand, trying to think of something to do for Nick.
When Nick awoke there was complete silence. He sat up and looked around. He was vaguely aware of some dim hunger, but he was feeling empty and exhausted. He
pushed the covers aside and ventured out of the bedroom. He groaned and squinted as the bright sunlight streamed into the den, almost blinding him. He looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost noon. He was way late for work, but for some reason he didn’t care. He sank down at the kitchen table with a mug of Laurel’s herbal tea and sipped it, staring into the distance. He was so sure that the night before had been a nightmare and that Raven was still there. He leaned back and closed his eyes. He could feel her near...
“Hey, where is everyone?”
Nick’s eyes flew open at the sound of the voice. He put down the mug and rose up, shoving the chair back. It scraped against the tiles, but he didn’t care. He went into the den and stopped in his tracks. Raven stood there, her hair loose about her, wearing a white shift like the one Cassie wore for special Circle meetings.
“Nick!” she gasped, falling back a step. Nick ran to her and swept her up in his arms. The silver cord, though unseen, was humming.
“Raven, I thought you’d left me,” he breathed into her hair.
Raven pulled out of his hug. “I haven’t left you,” she said.
Nick’s heart leapt. He reached out to her but Raven dodged back beyond his grasp.
“But I’m leaving you.”
Nick’s world around him shattered. He didn’t know what was real anymore, his mind was numb and his body still as he stared at her.
Raven turned away and went into one of the bedrooms, leaving Nick standing there, frozen. She emerged with the silver knife tucked into the sash at her waist. She headed for the door when Nick suddenly came alive. He reached out and caught her by the wrist, pulling her around to face him.
“You can’t be leaving me,” he whispered fiercely, finding his voice. “We’re soulmates, remember?”
“Think I wouldn’t remember?” Raven challenged. She didn’t struggle, but she didn’t meet his gaze either. “Let me go. I’m leaving now."
“They’re forcing you to do this, aren’t they?’ Nick asked, pleading in his own mind that this was the truth.
Raven didn’t answer, just stared down at the ground.
“Tell me that you’re not really doing this,” he ordered in a cold voice that he only used for arguing with Adam.
“I’m doing this, Nick, get over it,” Raven snapped, jerking out of his grip. “I don’t love you.” She’d turned away as she said it, heading for the door, and Nick felt the tug in the silver cord. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled
her around to face him again.
“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me,” he yelled at the averted face.
Raven lifted her head defiantly and shook her hair out of her eyes. Nick gazed down at her in astonishment – there was no way she’d be able to pull it off.
Raven could feel the silver cord tightening, but she resisted it. She lifted her head to look at him. There was an agonizing wrench in her chest at the sight of his face – he looked like a child who had just realized that no one wanted him but was still willing to hope. Nick was hiding his terror now – he’d always been good at masking his emotion, but even though his face was as dispassionate and uncaring as it had been before, she could see the pain and terror in his eyes. His eyes were giving him away. He’d always been so cold, but
Raven had been so much colder. None of the others had ever really noticed it, but Nick was about to see it.
Raven looked him straight in the eye, her gaze unwavering, her heart stone and cold. In the back of her mind, part of her was screaming and crying, dying at the thought of leaving him, but the rest of her was immune to the screams. Raven steadied her breathing, knowing her face looked as wintry as she could get it. Nick was about to realize what he looked like to other people. Raven could feel the silver cord drawn taut and prayed that he wouldn’t know the truth from it.
Then she told the biggest lie that she would ever say in her life.
“I don’t love you, Nick.”
He gasped and staggered back. Raven spun on her heel, walking away as fast as she could to leave the sound of his sobs behind. And so that he wouldn’t see her cry...
Nick felt the tears running down his face. His heart was breaking all over again. He heard the door slam and sank back onto the couch, his head bowed as tears streaked down his face. His body was wracked with sobs and he did nothing to stop them. It hurt, it hurt so much, and he had no idea how to stop the pain. His head was throbbing and there was a dull ache in his chest. He curled up and the couch, just crying, letting out all the pain that he’d been trying to keep inside.
Nick had no idea how long he’d been crying, but suddenly the tears stopped. He lay on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling, his mind numb, physically and emotionally drained. For a moment he’d forgotten why he was even crying – there was just pain burning in the depths of his soul, threatening to consume him from the inside out. Then he thought of Raven. He would go to her, she would ease the pain...and then he remembered it all. Just when he’d thought the tears were gone, they came flooding back. He sat up, clutching the charm around his neck and desperately trying to stop the tears. The metal froze in his grip,
burning into his palm.
He wanted it to stop. He wanted the pain to just stop. He wanted to forget it all, make it all a dream. He just wanted to sleep. His body ached and he was exhausted, and sleep would bring oblivion. He stumbled into the kitchen and groped through the cupboards. Where is it? he thought angrily, opening
and slamming the wooden cupboard doors. I want it – I know it’s here. Through his tear-blurred vision, Nick could just make out the word ‘belladonna’ in Laurel’s handwriting. He pulled out the bottle and uncorked it. He poured a few of the little golden pellets into his palm and went over to the refrigerator. He got some of Laurel’s tea bags and put the kettle on the stove. Still half-sobbing, he went through the cupboards in search of a mug. He pulled
open a cupboard and groped out blindly. There was a crash! as a mug
shattered on the floor. Nick ignored it and grabbed another mug. He waited impatiently until the water came to a boil. Then he poured the water into the mug and dropped in one of Laurel’s tea bags along with a few of the belladonna pellets. He swirled the water around with one finger, not caring if he was
scalded, until the pellets dissolved and took a few mouthfuls. He waited for a
few minutes, and nothing happened. He put in a few more pellets and dissolved them again. Nothing happened. Frustrated, he dumped in a whole handful and then finished the whole mug of tea. He felt his senses dulling and dragged himself into Adam’s room, sprawling out on the unmade bed. His eyelids grew heavy and he got in one last thought of total oblivion before he drifted away...
The bedroom door shifted open slightly in a breeze stirred up. There was no response from the boy with the tear-stained face on the bed.
The front door swung open and the rest of the Circle entered the house quietly.
“Think Nick’s up?” Sean asked.
“Sure, the belladonna must have worn off by now,” Laurel said. They changed out of their uniforms in silence, noticing that the bedroom door where Nick was sleeping was still shut.
“I’ll start dinner,” Diana said. She pushed open the kitchen door and stopped in her tracks. “Oh my gosh!”
“What happened?” Adam cried, rushing in. The two of them stared at the kitchen. It looked as though a madman had ransacked it. All the cupboards were open and
there was glass strewn across the floor. The kettle was overturned and water everywhere. Diana noticed something else lying on the table that wouldn’t have been out if a thief had been in. A glass potion bottle...
“Oh!” Cassie cried. “Was there a robbery?”
“Nick would have heard,” Adam replied. Diana stood by the table. She reached out and picked up the glass bottle.
“Unless Nick made this mess,” Doug joked, poking his head into the room.
“Laurel!” Diana shouted.
Laurel poked her head into the room. “Oh my heavens! What happened here?”
“How much belladonna did you give Nick last night?” Diana demanded.
“Four pellets, why?” Laurel looked puzzled.
“The bottle is empty,” Diana said, holding it up.
Laurel frowned. “That’s impossible – there were several hundred left in there.” She crossed the floor carefully to see the bottle.
“Someone go wake Nick,” Diana ordered, tapping one foot angrily. When no one responded, she gave Sean a sharp look.
“I’m not going on my own,” he said defensively. Laurel went to get the broom to start cleaning up the mess.
The others approached the room warily. The door was open a few inches. Chris opened the door silently and poked his head in. Nick lay on the bed, still wearing his jeans from the day before.
“Nick’s still sleeping,” he said doubtfully.
“Wake him,” Diana ordered from the back of the group.
“Hey Armstrong, get up!” Chris whispered. Nick didn’t stir. Chris approached the bed, leaned over and put his head right over Nick’s ear.
“WAKE UP!” he yelled at the top of his lungs. Nick didn’t move.
Chris reached out and grabbed Nick’s hand to yank him off the bed. Nick’s hand lay limp in his. Chris scrambled back in horror.
“He – he’s dead,” he stuttered, backing towards the door.
Laurel burst in. “What’s going on?” she asked.
The others were all screaming. Cassie was in Adam’s arms, sobbing. Melanie was going for the phone to call 911. Chris and Doug huddled together, shooting glances at Nick’s body, terrified.
“The paramedics will be here any minute,” Melanie announced, coming back into the room. Deborah had joined the scene. She was leaning against the door frame for support, gasping and staring at her cousin. Suzan seemed to be the only one with her head on. She pushed through the crowd of people at the door and went to Nick’s side.
Deborah lunged for her. “Don’t touch him!” she screamed, but Chris and Doug held her back. Sean hid his face, cowering behind the others. Suzan reached out and gingerly took Nick’s hand.
“He has a pulse!” she cried excitedly, and some of the crying stopped. Then she frowned. “It’s fading...”
The wail of sirens met their ears. The front door burst open and Melanie led the paramedics to the room. They loaded Nick onto a stretcher and carried him to the ambulance.
The others got into Adam’s jeep and followed the ambulance.
At the hospital, Nick was rushed into ICU while the others sat in the waiting room, gnawing their knuckles anxiously. Trey and AJ had heard and come along. Trey was holding Deborah while she stared in shock.
A doctor came out of the ICU room.
“Are you all family?” he asked.
“I am,” Deborah said in a low voice. “We all are.”
“Where are your parents?” the doctor asked.
“Dead,” they chorused in dull voices.
The doctor looked a little alarmed but said nothing. He beckoned and they came in closer to hear.
“Have there been any recent stressful times in Nicholas’s life?” he asked.
“Why?” Adam asked, drying his eyes with the back of his hand. Cassie nudged him in the ribs and handed him a tissue.
“Well, his system was loaded with a sedative, possibly sleeping pills,” the doctor said. “He overdosed. We had to pump his stomach but he’s now in stable condition.”
“You mean he tried to kill himself?” Sean whispered in horror.
“No!” Deborah cried fiercely. “Nick would never do that!”
“Deb,” Trey soothed, “Raven left him.”
“He lost a pet?” the doctor asked doubtfully.
The others shook their heads, and the doctor looked miffed.
“I suggest you find him psychiatric help,” he said.
Ten jaws hit the floor.
“He needs a shrink?” Doug gasped. Laurel shot him a look.
“We’ll have him see a therapist until he’s released. You also have to report this to the police,” the doctor said.
“Hasn’t he gone through enough already?” Deborah growled.
“Can we see him?” Suzan asked.
The doctor nodded. “If you want, but two at a time. He’s not awake yet.”
Deborah and Trey went in first. The others were shaken up after what they had just heard. Nick must have been hurting more than they had thought.
Laurel felt the worst. “I knew I should have kept that bottle in a safer place,” she whispered, her eyes haunted.
“Hey, you know Armstrong,” Doug offered, trying to console her. “He would have looked until he found it anyway.”
“But I should keep it in a safe place,” Laurel insisted. “What if we have kids in the house?”
She didn’t notice Doug’s surprise when she said ‘we’. He blinked his surprise away and tried consoling her again.
“Nick’s eighteen, he can think for himself,” he soothed.
Nick opened his eyes and saw a strange woman standing over him. She had dark curly hair and a blond guy stood with her.
“Who are you?” he asked.
The woman gazed down at him. “Nick, it’s me, you dope!” She
looked as if she were about to cry. “Why did you do that, you idiot?”
Nick recognized that tone of voice and realized that it was Deborah and Trey in the room.
“Do what?” he whispered, his voice hoarse.
“Try to kill yourself, jerk,” Deborah muttered, and Nick realized that she was trying not to cry.
Nick’s brow furrowed. “I didn’t. I just wanted to sleep.”
“More like sleep forever,” Deborah replied. Then she threw her arms around him and hugged him.
“Ow,” Nick moaned, and Deborah loosened her grip on him.
“The others will be in,” Trey said, and led Deborah away.
Nick felt the faintest trace of a smile curve his lips. Deborah was actually letting a guy put his arm around her in something that wasn’t a headlock.
The others came in, and they seemed to have the same idea that Nick was trying to kill himself. He just explained that he’d wanted to sleep, and then the doctor made them leave.
A woman in her early thirties came into the room. She spoke to the doctor in a hushed voice just outside the door and then entered the room with a big smile on her face. She was pretty, but not exactly a future pageant queen.
“Hello, Nicholas,” she greeted him.
Nick eyed her warily. “You can call me Nick if you want,” he said.
“All right.” She sat on the edge of his bed. “I’m
Adrienne. I’m here to talk to you.”
Something in her voice made him immediately suspicious.
“Talk.”
“Tell me about this girlfriend of yours. The others said her name was Raven.” Adrienne gave him another smile.
Nick looked away, a lump rising in his throat. “I don’t want to talk about her.”
“Come on, Nick, you have to talk about her,” Adrienne urged.
“No I don’t,” Nick answered like an obstinate child.
“You tried to kill yourself over her,” Adrienne said.
Nick glared at her. She was just as confused as the others were.
“I didn’t try to kill myself, for the millionth time,” he growled through clenched teeth. “I wasn’t feeling good, so I went to get some belladonna but it didn’t work fast enough and I guess I took too much.”
Adrienne didn’t look convinced.
“It’s true,” Nick insisted. Adrienne wrote something on her clipboard and then left to talk to the doctor.
Nick settled back against the pillows, irritated.
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