So, I have to share this office with this being from another dimension (we�ll call her �Kathy�) and she always has to have the lights off. She claims she�s �allergic to light�. Maybe she�s not a hellspawn. Maybe she�s a vampire? I wonder what would happen if I drove a stake throu--Would prison really be that bad? So, it�s raining today and gloomy and overcast and I turn on the light when I come in. After 10 minutes of hard work, I decide it�s time for a break. I leave the office to go gossip with Turtle about KrazyKathy. When I come back, she�s already turned off the light; I flip it back on while I imagine myself flipping her off. Or maybe flipping her out a window.
Kathy: It�s too bright in here. My skin is starting to react.
Me: *mumbling* maybe your skin�ll burst into flames
Kathy: What was that?
Me: I said �maybe the sun�ll stop the rain�
Kathy: What does that have to do with the lights being on?
Me: It has to do with the lights being on because I can�t see until the sun comes out.
Kathy: You�re weird. You don�t make any sense.
Me: *mumbling* Go to Hell
Kathy: What?
Me: Yeah, swell!
Kathy: Whatever. *mumbles* Weirdo.
So, now it�s nice and quiet for about 15 minutes. I spend this quality work time catching up on silly websites that entertain. Then, suddenly, I hear �Watcha doin�?� as if a 5 year old would say it. Kathy looks like a 400 pound baby elephant and is probably 35 in human years, if she�s even human. Speaking in a child�s voice does nothing to change the fact that she is and will always be a grotesque and scary-looking creature of the dark. Maybe the lights being off aren�t such a bad idea. At least it would hide her from my sight. Of course, I ignore her and continue reading about Engrish. �he-ey! Watcha doin�?� Can�t this stupid beast get the point that I am �busy�? Looks like I�ll have to talk to the freak. �I�m working is what I�m doing.�*mumble*...like you should be�. Her oh-so-brilliant reply to that? �Oh�. Genius material, I tell you.
Another 15 minutes of silence, then �hic-UP�. What the hell? Did something just explode? Ooo! Maybe Kathy exploded! I sneak a peak, but no, she�s still in one disgusting piece. Damn! I return to my game - I mean work. �hic-UP�. I jump 5 feet out of my chair. Kathy starts giggling. Except when it comes from her, it�s this wheezing that sounds like a crazed cockroach that needs to be put down. It doesn�t help that this hideous laugh is interrupted with sporadic hiccups. And these aren�t just any hiccups, these hiccups rival Mt. St. Helen�s eruption.
God save me before I break that one commandment about killing!!