Title: Over The Edge.

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy & 20th Century Fox own Angel and friends, not me.

Author: Lorna Dominey

Summary: Takes place after season 2 and Angel is falling apart after the year he's had.

Spoilers: What has been seen so far, I can't predict the future so who knows. It's basically my own world. (I wrote this during season 2 and had no idea about season 3).

Rating: R to NC 17 for graphic language, and other bad things.

Pairing: Some A/B some A/C.

Distribution: It Stays here.

Author's Note: This is not going to be a pretty story and I recommend tissues be kept near by. Feedback please.

Email: [email protected]

Part 1

Angel sat there on the floor of the shower letting the water flow over him. He ached on every inch of his body and deep into his soul. Angel cried out in frustation. He banged his fists on the tile until they bled. All he wanted was to be free of the torment that was his existence. He felt like such a failure. He had lost souls and causes had caused death when he should have been giving aid and comfort. Angel screamed and yelled at the unfairness of it all. He lay there a broken and bloody shell of the man and vampire that he'd been.

The water grew cold and yet he still did not move. He was drained and just wanted to dissolve and flow away like the water. to end up where there would be no pain. Angel finally shook himself from the stupor he'd been in and turned off the water. He slowly rose to his feet and stepped out of the shower. He stumbled into his bedroom and looked around. A small smile came to his face, he knew what he needed.

Angel slipped on a pair of sweatpants and made his way down to the basement. He was glad he'd told Cordelia and Wesley to stay away and leave him alone. Angel sighed as he removed the small bundle from it's hidding place. He'd put it there when they were trying to help one of Gunn's friends. Angel made his way back up to his rooms. He placed the bundle on the bed next to him and unwrapped it. He sighed he knew how to use the things in front of him. He'd learned from another lost soul at a time when he felt as bad as he did now but for different reasons.

Angel quickly heated up the herion in the small spoon and filled the syringe. He made a fist causing a vein to pop up. He shot the drugs into his arm and sat back to wait for the emptiness to overcome him. That's what drugs did for him. Made him forget the pain and guilt. Made feel nothing but emptiness. Being a vampire made the drugs get out of his system faster, but still he knew that for a few brief moments he'd be able to forget.

Angel slowly woke up he looked around and sighed. He got out of bed and quickly rewrapped the drugs and hid them. Angel felt a little better but he knew it wouldn't last. That he'd turn to his dirty little secret again. Angel chuckled, as thoughts of when Whistler approached him in New York. He thought Angel was skinny for not eating. It was that and also he'd been a drug user for years.

Angel sighed as he drank down some blood before heading out into the L.A. night. He knew where to go to get what he needed. The girl's stuff was of an inferior quality and he wanted the best.

Part 2 Warning Very Dark

Angel had found the good and expensive stuff and had gone home. That had been three days ago and he hadn't come down yet. Angel had kept up a steady stream of drugs into his system. To keep the pain away, to help him forget. Angel was out of his right mind. Even Angelus had taken a vacation. He lay there on his bed, eyes glazed and unfocused. The world around him had ceased to exist.

Cordelia crept into Angel's bedroom. She'd had two visions and no one had been able to get hold of Angel. Thankfully Wes and Gunn had managed to get rid of the demons. Cordelia saw Angel laying on his bed.

She sat down and shook him, "Angel, hey wake up, what's wrong?"

Angel growled and grabbed Cordelia. She struggled to get away from him. The more she fought. The more aggresive he became. Angel growled and hit Cordelia across the face. He bit down on her neck.

Cordelia screamed, "Angel, stop, oh please god stop."

Angel roared and ripped her blouse from her. She pushed against him, crying. Angel ignored her pleas, and tore her pants off and her underwear. Cordelia screamed as he slammed into her. She felt pain like never before. Cordelia lay there as he pounded into her. She wept silent tears as with each thrust her trust of Angel was torn away.

Cordelia had passed out by the time Angel was done. He rolled off her and fell onto the floor. He curled up lost in his own drug induced world unaware of what he'd just done.

Cordelia woke up she hurt all over. She crawled out of the bed and looked around for Angel. She noticed the light on in the bathroom. She carefully approached the bathroom door and peeked in. Cordelia was shocked and saddened as she witnessed Angel shooting heroin into his arm. She felt warm tears as they fell down her cheeks. She knew that the Angel she loved had slipped away to somewhere she hoped he could be rescued from.

Cordelia found her torn clothing and retreated to another room of the hotel. She showered and put on some clean clothes. She knew she had to forget what had happened. That it wasn't her Angel that had raped her but some other creature. Cordelia called Wesley and Gunn she told them that they were needed at the hotel. Cordelia paced the lobby listening for any sounds from upstairs as she waited for Wesley and Gunn to get there. She'd decided not to tell them about the rape. They'd probably stake Angel instead of helping him.

Part 3

Cordelia was so glad to see Wesley and Gunn when they walked in. She was shaking and hurting. She didn't know how much longer she could hang on without breaking down. Wesley took one look at Cordelia and knew that somthing real bad had happened. Her eyes were huge pools of anguish in her face and a nasty bruise had formed on her jaw. Gunn stared at Cordelia. He was shocked by her appearance. No make-up, bruised and shaking, he looked around wondering where Angel was.

Wesley went over to Cordelia, "What's wrong where's Angel, and who hit you?"

Cordelia sobbed out, "Oh god Wes it's bad, real bad, he's upstairs, he's......oh god.....using drugs.....he hit me....he....he didn't know who it was."

Wesley and Gunn both took off for Angel's room. Wesley stepped inside and found Angel stretched out on the floor in front of the bathroom. Gunn right behind Wesley stared at the sight. He looked in the bathroom and spotted the syringe and spoon.

Gunn shook his head, "He's done this before, and I recognize the kit it belonged to Suzy, he must have hidden it from her."

Wesley nodded, "There are so many blanks in Angel's life after he got his soul. Somewhere along the lines he must have did drugs. I guess we should take care of him."

Cordelia stood at the bedroom door, "Can we help him or is he too far gone?"

Wesley could hear the despair in her voice, "Yes, it helps that he is a vampire, I think the best thing to do tho is chain him down, for when he starts to come off this stuff he'll be violent."

Gunn nodded, "Yeah well let's get him downstairs where the chains have been set up in case of an emergency."

Wesley and Gunn wrapped Angel in a blanket. Wesley grabbed the end where Angel's feet were and Gunn took the head. Together they managed to get the huge vampire down to the basement. Cordelia had gone ahead and got the bed ready for them. As soon as they laid him down on the bed she began placing the chains on his arms.

Tears ran down her cheeks, "I promise Angel if this don't work or Angelus is what we get back I'll stake you."

Wesley stared at Cordelia. He was worried she was holding back. She wasn't telling them something. He wished she trusted him enough to tell him what else was wrong. Gunn quietly helped chain Angel up. He'd witnessed humans coming off a high and knew how they reacted he wondered how a vampire would.

After they made sure Angel was secured, Cordelia looked at the guys, "Hey do you mind if I go home, this is a little much for me, I'll be back later, ah call me tho if you need me."

Wesley nodded, "Sure gone on, it might be best if you didn't stick around."

Gunn sighed, "I'll walk you out and I'll go and clean up the mess in Angel's room."

Cordelia shook her head, "Thanks." she gave Wesley's hand a slight squeeze before following Gunn up the basement stairs.

Part 4

Angel felt as if he was on fire. As if the flames were inside his veins. He struggled but could not move. He yelled out in anguish and fear. Darkness was all around. All he could hear were screams and people begging for forgiveness. Begging for their lives. Angel growled and roared out trying to get away from the pain. He couldn't, he was trapped here in his own world of misery.

Wesley watched as Angel thrashed about. He sighed, was he doing the right thing maybe he should just end the vampire's misery. Angel's cries of rage and pain echoed off the walls of the basement, making Wesley wince. No he was doing the right thing, no matter how painful. Gunn stepped into the room and watched Angel he shook his head. He'd been surprised by a lot of things with Angel, but this was the one thing he never expected to see.

Wesley looked up at Gunn, "Cordelia is she gone?"

Gunn nodded, "Yeah and I got his room cleaned up, there was blood on the bed not much, have no idea where it came from though, and speaking of blood I have a feeling he'll need some, I can go get some if you don't mind being alone with him."

Wesley frowned, "Sure that will be fine with me." he was staring at Angel suspesion eating at his thoughs.

Gunn shrugged, "Well be back and is there anything I can get you?"

Wesley shook his head no as he went over to Angel and leaned over him. He was looking for something what he didn't know. Gunn frowned and shook his head as he went upstairs.

Wesley sighed, "What happened Angel, do you even know, Cordelia something happened to her and I think you were involved."

Angel growled and pulled at the chains holding him down. The voices were quieter but the feelings of despair still lingered. Angel moaned as more pain shot through his body. He must be back in hell, this was how it had felt. Nothing but pain and despair. He tried to do what he'd done before when the pain go too unbearable he tried to picture Buffy. But it wasn't her that came to mind. It was Cordelia, his seer. Angel shied away from her there was pain there he didn't know why but he felt such anguish at her seeing her face.

Part 5

Wesley stared at Angel. It had been four days since they's chained him up. Angel was quiet now. He'd stopped struggling and screaming finally. Wesley sighed and rubbed his eyes. It had been him and Gunn watching over Angel. Cordelia had called and asked how things were but hadn't come around. Gunn walked into the room and handed Wesley a cup of coffee. He glanced at Angel and noticed he'd opened his eyes and were wacthing him and Wesley rather intensely.

Gunn nodded to Wesley, "Look he's watching us."

Wesley looked up from sipping his coffee, "Angel, ah can you respond to me?"

Angel licked his lips, before struggling to speak, "Why, why didn't you just stake me?"

Wesley sighed, "Because that would not have been right, you have a purpose even if at the moment you don't think so."

Angel closed his eyes, "I find it hard to believe."

Wesley turned to Gunn, "Go get him some blood, he needs it."

Gunn nodded and placed his coffee on the table and went to get the blood.

Wesley turned to Angel, "What do you remember about your days on drugs?"

Angel shrugged, "Nothing really, I can't tell reality from delusions and the nightmares, where's Cordelia?"

Wesley shrugged his shoulders, "Home, she's upset she's the one who found you and it seems you punched her rather hard in the jaw."

Angel closed his eyes, "Call her for me, tell her I want to see her."

Wesley n

odded, "I'll do that when Gunn gets back, meanwhile let me unchain you." Gunn returned just as Wesley undid the last of the chains, "Here is some blood, I warmed it up slghtly."

Angel sat up, he was very shaky he took the mug of blood and drank it down, "Thanks, I want to go to my room and shower."

Wesley and Gunn helped Angel to his feet and up to his room.

Wesley turned to Gunn, "Stay with him while I go call Cordelia and let her know he's better."

Gunn nodded and watched as Wesley left the room. He turned his attention back to Angel who was slowly pulling off his sweatpants. Gunn sighed as Angel went into the bathroom. Gunn heard him turn on the shower. He wondered what was going to happen next it was obvious that Angel was in no condition to fight at the moment.

Part 6

Angel sat silently in his chair and looked around the room. He had drank some more blood after his shower and was starting to feel more alert. He looked up when Cordelia walked in. He frowned she stood near the door and just stared at him. Cordelia stood there shaking inside. She wanted so badly to forget and forgive Angel. But she was having nightares about what happened and the fear and pain still lingered.

Angel held out his hand, "I understand I hit you, I am so sorry, I can't remember anything that went on, it's all such a blank, I'm sorry you saw me that way."

Cordelia nodded, "It shocked me, and it's ok your hitting me, ah hey I haven't done anything so why don't I run downstairs and get some work done."

Cordelia turned and fled the room and Angel.

Angel frowned, something was wrong with her and he knew it was more than the drugs and his hitting her.

Wesley walked into the room, "So ah how did it go with Cordelia?" Angel laid his head back against the chair, "Is there anything you're not telling me?"

Wesley sighed, "I promise Angel I have told you all I know, she is acting rather odd though but until she is ready to share we will all be in the dark."

Angel nodded, he stood up and went to his bed and laid down, "I need more rest and you can leave me alone, I won't slip again."

Wesley sighed and left the room he so wanted to trust Angel. But for now he'd keep a close eye on his troubled friend. Wesley found Cordelia busily working at the computer. A frown on her face. He sighed he wished she'd confide in him. Cordelia looked up and gave a faint smile before returning her attention to the computer in front of her.

Part 7

Three weeks had passed. Angel was stronger but still silent. He kept to himself unless needed. Then he let his anger and frustration out on whatever evil he had to fight. Cordelia was in her own world. Coming to work each day, she'd huddle over the computer or hide in one of the hotel's many rooms. She rarely spoke except when she had visions or had to answer the phone. Gunn walked around silently helping out where needed. He could feel the tension in the air and knew that things would get worse before they got better. Wesley watched all silently. He read his books and kept track of Angel's whereabouts at all times.

The first sign that things were about to come to a head Cordelia had a vision of a pinkish gang of female demons wanting to mate with male humans before eating them. Angel, Wesley and Gunn went off to fight and returned several hours later injured. Cordelia went about silently tending to Wesley and Gunn's wounds with no problem. Angel sat there shirt off wiping blood from his face and hands when Cordlia walked up. She began to tremble as she took the cloth from Angel and began to wipe the blood from his back so she could see where he was wounded. Cordelia dropped the cloth. She turned and ran out of the room sobbing. Angel glanced over at Wesley who just shrugged and picked the cloth up and cleaned and bandaged Angel.

Cordelia came back into the lobby an hour later and grabbed her things and left without speaking to any of them. Angel frowned, he was worried about Cordelia but could never get her alone to ask her what the problem was.

Gunn stood up, "Look, man I am going home, have to check on my people been neglecting them lately so just call me when you need me."

Wesley nodded, "Of course, I think I'll stay here tonight I am sore and tired."

Angel shrugged his shoulders and stood, "I am going to bed, do as you please."

Wesley and Gunn wacthed as Angel went up the stairs. Gunn shook his head and left he wanted to put some time and distance between those at the hotel. Wesley found a book and went up to the room he'd claimed for himself. He paused at Angel's room, briefly before going on to his own. Angel put some clean sweatpants on and climbed into bed. He had decided he was going to get answers from Cordelia. He kept having his own nightmares about her screaming and crying.

Part 8

Angel watched Cordelia for several days trying to get her alone. He was worried she looked terrible. Hardly any make-up, and she wore mosrtly jeans and whatever shirt seemed to be handy. Cordelia was aware of Angel watching her> She could feel his gaze as she went about her job. She wanted to forget what had happened but the nightmares wouldn't let her.

Wesley was putting away some books in the room that had been decided upon to be their library.

Angel walked in, "Wes, could you leave without Cordelia knowing, she's downstairs working on the computer and I need to talk to her alone."

Wesley sighed and glanced at Angel, "Do you think it's wise?"

Angel folded his arms, "Probably not but things can't go on like they have been, I have questions that need to be answered and she is the only one who has them."

Wesley nodded, "I know and she is obviously hiding something and it involves you, fine I can leave quietly but if you need me, please call."

Angel rubbed his eyes, "Thanks and sure I promise I will call."

Wesley put the last book on the shelf and gathered his things. He quietly slipped out the back. He hoped he was doing the right thing by leaving Cordelia and Angel alone with each other. Angel waited a few minutes before going back downstairs to where Cordelia was. He watched her typing away at the computer. She looked up and smiled slightly. He sat down near her and waited for her to finish what she was dong.

Part 9

Cordelia finished the last of the invoices to be sent out, she looked up at Angel, "So where is Wesley?"

Angel stood up, "He went home, it's just you and me."

Cordelia felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. She'd avoided being alone with Angel.

She nervously stood up, "Guess I should be going to, ah well, let me get my things."

Angel turned to her, "Cordelia come here and sit down, I want to talk to you and don't run off please."

Cordelia went over to one of the red couches and sat down, she fiddled with the hem of her shirt, "So what do you want to talk about?"

Angel went over to her and knelt down, "Cordelia, what's wrong why are you afraid of me, why do you run when I come into the room?"

Cordelia was shaking, "I......ah....don't know what you mean...I'm not avoiding you."

Angel sighed and reached over and took one her hands. She jumped up and pulled away.

Angel stared at her, "There is something wrong and it's just not the fact that I hit you." Tears started falling down Corelia's cheeks, "Oh Angel I want to forget, I just want to forget."

Angel reached out to touch her she stepped away from him, "Don't touch me please, it makes the nightmares come back."

Angel sighed and dropped his hands to his sides, "I have nightmares of you screaming and begging me or someone to stop, please for both of us tell me what's wrong."

Cordelia hung her head and sobbed, "It wasn't your fault, not really, I shouldn't have come here alone."

Angel shook his head, "What's not my fault?"

In a small whisper Cordelia sobbed, "You raped me."

Those three words echoed through out Angel's mind. The memories he'd been surpressing came back he sank to his knees and began to weep.

"Oh Cordelia, my sweet Cordelia I am so sorry, I am so sorry."

Cordelia sank to her knees in front of Angel with a trembling hand she reached out and gently touched Angel's face, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I have been so scared."

Angel crawled forward and laid his head in her lap, "Cordelia, oh Cordelia what have I done? In my wallow of self pity I have destroyed what I hold so dear to me."

Cordelia began to cry even harder she wrapped her arms around Angel and held him close as they both cried for each other and themselves.

Part 10

Angel slowly woke his head pillowed on Cordelia's lap. Her arms draped around him losely. He shifted slightly and gazed up at her sleeping face in wonder and love. Cordelia opened her eyes and she found herself gazing down into Angel's deep brown eyes, she gave a half smile.

Angel sat up he reached over and gently touched her cheek, "I'm so sorry for everything."

Cordelia sighed, "It's ok, I guess, don't put so much guilt on yourself, we can get through this, I know now that we need each other to cope with what happened that alone we are just miserable."

Angel nodded and took her hand in his and gently kissed the palm, "I feel like such a failure, my father always said I would amount to nothing and I feel as if he's right."

Cordelia stared at Angel, he'd never mentioned or even referred to his past as a human, "Your father was a harsh man?"

Angel shrugged, "He always blamed me for my mother's death, she died giving birth to me, oh he did remarry a few years later, and she did her best to be a mother but she was afraid of my father, he was so stern and unfeeling."

Cordelia gently touched Angel's cheek, "You loved your father despite this and that's all you wanted was his love."

Angel nodded, "If he had shown me any kind of love and respect I wouldn't be here today, when I was a young lad I would bring home letters from my tutors and I was so proud of what they said about me and all I wanted was for him to say good job son but all I got was not now I am too busy."

Cordelia sighed, "I know my daddy loved me but the only way he really knew how to say it was giving me everything I asked for, clothes, jewelry anything but he never hugged me or held me on his lap and read to me, it was here's some money go buy yourself something pretty, it's how he dealt with my mom also."

Angel sighed, "Parents can really mess up a kids life and not even know it, guess it almost makes me glad I can't have kids."

Cordelia gave a small sigh, "Angel I am going to tell you something that only me and my folks know. I might not be able to have kids, that re-bar that went though me kind of did some damage. I know I was knocked up by that demon but that was different it wasn't a true pregnancy."

Angel stared at Cordelia, "You never told anyone, is that one reason you were so harsh to Xander?"

Cordelia nodded her head, "Guess so, I mean it isn't for certain, I may just need some surgery and everything will be fine or as one doctor said in time the damage may take care of itself."

Angel nodded as he stood up, he held out his hand, "Come on Cordelia lets find a more comfortable place to talk some more, we need to rebuild our trust and friendship."

Cordelia took his hand and stood up, "Angel, give me time and I will trust in you fully, tonight has helped."

Angel smiled, "Can I hug you?"

Cordelia smiled and took Angel in her arms they stood there and held each other.

Part 11

The next few weeks were hard on Angel and Cordelia. Repairing the trust that had been taken away was harder to rebuild than they thought. Cordelia still jumped when Angel brushed against her or walked into the room unexpectedly. Angel tread carefully always mindful of Cordelia's whereabouts when she was in the hotel. Wesley and Gunn watched them wondering what was going on between the two of them. When asked Wesley was told it was none of his business.

Four weeks after Cordelia's revelation to Angel, she had a vision, Angel caught her as she began to sink to the floor, "What is it Cordelia what did you see?"

Cordelia shook a few minutes before she answered, "A big vampire with long white hair, beating up on girls at a old night club on Santa Monica Boulevard, it's covered in black and purple paint, Angel he's asking the girls if they know Angelus."

Angel frowned and began to pace, "It sounds like Rufus a vampire that Angelus did not get along with, damn wonder what he wants now I haven't seen him since let's see oh 1885."

Wesley and Gunn glanced at each other then Angel, "So do we all go after this gu or just you?"

Angel turned to Gunn, "We'll all go but I go in first to check things out, Rufus usually travels with just one other vampire, he's pretty powerful, huge I think he may have been a Viking when human, yes he's that old."

Wesley sighed, "Rufus, I read about him, yes he is very old and poweful, he's killed four slayers even."

Angel nodded, "He bragged about that to Angelus and Darla once, Cordelia did you recognize the girls?"

Cordelia frowned, "Honestly no I didn't that was what was so odd I mean why them, if they don't know you."

Angel nodded, "Right well let's go gang." They approached to old club carefully.

Angel's senses picked up the sound of sobbing and the smell of fear and fresh blood, he raised a hand, "Shh wait here for me."

Wes, Gunn and Cordelia nodded their heads as Angel slipped quietly into the club. He paused long enough for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. It was too quiet and easy for him to have gotten this far he figured it was a trap. Angel hugged the wall behind him he sensed another vampire across the room, and another above him to the left. He heard a faint click and the room was filled with light, he blinked a few times and looked around.

Rufus came down a flight of stairs, "Well if it isn't Angelus, long time no see old friend, hear you have a soul and are killing your own kind what a shame."

Angel smirked, "Yes it has been awhile since we last saw each other and I don't consider ridding the world of evil such as you as killing."

Rufus laughed, "Good to see you have maintained your sense of whimsy, well your days of redemption are over, I am here to end it one way or another."

Angel shook his head, "I have learned a lot the last few years and have fought bigger and meaner demons than you."

Rufus laughed, "Ah yes but if anything happens to me these two ladies die and I do believe you know the blonde."

Rufus made a gesture and a cage was rolled out to the center of the room.

Angel looked the two girls over, "Sorry Rufus I don't know either of these girls, who do you think they are?"

Rufus growled, "Don't tell me that the blonde isn't your slayer Buffy Summers, I feel the magic that surrounds her."

Angel shook his head, "She may have magic surrounding her but I can assure you she isn't Buffy as for the other girl I have no clue as to who she is." Rufus stared at Angel, "You speak the truth, it doesn't matter you'll still see them die if anything happens to me."

Angel looked the situation over, "Let them go Rufus this is between us, why bring in innocents this isn't your style or have you gone weak with old age?"

Rufus growled, "How dare you I am still more powerful than you."

Angel smiled, "Prove it, let the girls go, I have friends outside let them have the girls and we can end this here and now."

Rufus smiled, "Agreed, your friends can have the girls."

He made a gesture and a small bent creature came out of the dark and released the girls he led them over to the door behind Angel and opened it up he pushed the girls out then quickly slammed the door shut.

Part 12

The battle between Angel and Rufus was long and hard on both vampires. Angel managed to get the first blow in with a kick to the other's jaw shattering the bone. Rufus with a bloody mouth slammed Angel against the wall banging his head several times before Angel was able to get away. They pounded on each blow for blow, kick for kick, both were bloodied and tired. Angel knelt on the floor and stared at Rufus who was barely standing. Angel slowly rose to his feet and lashed out at Rufus sending him to the floor. Rufus may have been the larger vampire but that was more to Angel's advantage he also was more in shape having been fighting evil for some time now.

Rufus lay on his back staring up at Angel. He tried to move as Angel quickly brought his booted foot down on Rufus' throat crushing the bones. Angel leaned down and grabbed Rufus by the hair and dragged him across the floor to the staircase he broke off a piece of the wooden ballastir and plunged the jagged broken edge into the heart of the vampire Rufus.

Angel staggered out of the club to find Wesley, Gunn and Cordelia waiting for him with the two girls, "He's gone."

Cordelia wrapped her arms around Angel and helped him get in the car, "This is Tammy and Michelle, they live in Sunnydale next door to Buffy they were in Buffy's back yard when they were grabbed."

Angel nodded and looked at the girls and smiled slightly, "Call Buffy when we get back to the hotel and let them know they are safe."

Wesley got in the drivers seat with Gunn in the passenger seat. Angel was curled up almost in Cordelia's lap in the back with the two girls huddled together.

Part 13

Once at the hotel. Gunn took care of the two girls while Wesley called Sunnydale. While Cordelia took care of Angel's wounds. Other than a few cuts and bruises the girls were fine. Scared and somewhat in shock though. Gunn made them some hot cocoa and grilled cheese sandwiches. Wesley informed Angel and Cordelia that Buffy along with Tammy's mother were on their way to L.A. to pick up the girls.

Angel lay with his head pillowed in Cordelia's lap. He hurt all over from the fight with Rufus. Cordelia sat there and held Angel she was fightened she'd seen the injuries and knew how close Angel had come close to dying. The girls had eaten and drank the food and cocoa that Gunn had made for them and had drifted off to sleep. Gunn covered them up and sat down near them.

Gunn glanced over to where Angel lay, "Poor girls only 16 and this happenes it's something thay won't ever forget."

Angel moaned slightly, "I can't believe Rufus didn't know that it wasn't Buffy, he knows his slayers, he must have been desperate to pull such a stunt."

Wesley sighed, "At least he didn't hurt the girls too much, but it does make you wonder why he assumed one was Buffy."

Angel sighed, "He said that the blonde, Tammy had magic around her and I even felt it."

Cordelia squeezed Angel's hand, Well we'll know more when Buffy gets here, Tammy's mom might have the answers."

Angel sighed and closed his eyes, "Hope so, it's a mystery to me."

Gunn sat back and closed his eyes, Wesley went into the small office and began reading through some books while Angel and Cordelia rested. All waiting for Buffy to arrive.

Part 14

Buffy entered the hotel followed by a tall slender woman. Willow and Tara were right behind them. Buffy spotted Angel asleep with his head pillowed in Cordelia's lap.

Cordelia looked up, then gently shook Angel to wake him up, "Hey Angel, Buffy's here."

Angel opened his eyes and slowly sat up, he grimaced in pain from a rather large slash on his right side, "Buffy good you're here."

Buffy nodded, "Yes, this is Maureen she's my neighbor and Tammy's mother, so what happened?"

Angel looked the woman over, "It seems someone mistook your daughter for Buffy simply because she is blonde and was in Buffy's backyard, he took her to get to me."

Buffy shook her head, "Oh, so what heppened?"

Angel shrugged his shoulders, "Cordelia had a vision of two girls in trouble we went over to where she saw in her vision, I fought the guy and then brought the girls back here."

Maureen went over to her daughter Tammy, "Sweety moms here."

Tammy opened her eyes and yawned, "Mom, hey, wow."

Maureen smiled, "Had some adventure, you ok and want to go home?"

Tammy sat up, and smiled, "Yeah, hey Michelle wake up."

Maureen stood back and stared at Angel, she frowned, "Can I speak to you alone?"

Angel stood up, "Sure my office is over here, we can talk there."

Once in his office Maureen folded her arms, "You're a vampire, so why are you being so nice?"

Angel sighed, "I have a soul due to a Gypsy curse and I don't feed off humans, I help save the good guys from evil, it was a vampire, an old enemy of mine who took the girls he's dust."

Maureen nodded, "Yes now that I have taken a second look I can see the curse and it's attachments, hmm how interesting."

Angel frowned, "Now I've answered yours answer mine, why did Rufus mistake your daughter for Buffy, he said she had power around her?"

Maureen smiled, "It's simple she is from a long line of very powerful witches, each generation has a different specialty, so far hers has been dealing with the elements and animals, but she is getting stronger, so why would her power make him think she's Buffy?"

Angel smiled, "You live in Sunnydale next to Buffy and you don't know?"

Maureen sighed, "We have been there for only a couple of months I know that very odd things happen there."

Angel rubbed his eyes, "Sunnydale is sitting over a hellmouth and Buffy is a slayer, has been since she was 15."

Maureen stared at Angel, "Hellmouth, oh great and a vampire slayer both, she's been one rather long they don't usually last past their 18th birthday, I'm impressed."

Angel nodded, "She is special, she's one tough little girl."

Maureen sighed, "You care about her very much."

Angel shrugged, "That's in the past now we are just friends, I can't be more than a friend to any woman no matter what my feelings are."

Maureen nodded, "Yes the curse, your soul is only hanging on by a thin thread, if you want I can anchor your soul, take away the attachments and turn the curse to your advantage, wouldn't want the evil that dwells deep inside to emerge again."

Angel turned and stared at Maureen in disbelief, he frowned and sat down, "You can do this?"

Maureen nodded, "Yes, it won't take long I can do it right now, here in this room, do you want me too?"

Angel sat there in thought for a few moments, "Yes, please."

Maureen walked over to Angel and gently placed her hands on him. One over his brow the other his heart. She closed her eyes and softly chanted. Angel felt some pain then a lightheadness over came him and he slumped back into the chair.

Part 15

Angel opened his eyes and stared at Maureen then he smiled slightly, "I feel different, not so weighted down, the demon is quieter also."

Maureen smiled and nodded, "The curse had many layers, one was to restore your soul, another to cause you to feel the guilt of your crimes ten fold and the clause that you refered to as the happiness one. The demon is caged he cannot escape unless you want him too and then he'll be fairly tame and under your command."

Angel stood up, "Thank you so much you have made things easier for me, it doesn't mean I will be a slackard in the fight against evil though."

Maureen smiled, "You saved my daughter I needed to thank you for that and what better way than to ease your own pain and guilt, I could see that things have been rather rough on you of late."

Angel shook his head and opened the door of his office, "You are so right, now let's go tell the others."

Maureen followed Angel out to the lobby of the old hotel. Everyone looked up wondering what had gone one between the two of them.

Angel smiled, "Maureen here is truely a wonderful person, she has done what I thought was an impossibility."

Buffy stared at Angel, "Oh and what's that?"

Angel smiled, "She removed the curse or at least reworked it so that my soul is anchored and my demon under my complete control."

Buffy ran over and hugged Angel, "Oh that's fantastic, we no longer have to worry about Angelus."

Willow and Tara stared at Maureen, "We have been trying to figure out how to do a spell like that, wow you must be pretty powerful."

Maureen smiled, "I have been tught by some ofhe best in my field, if you want I can teach you some of the ways of true magic."

Willow and Tara both grinned and nodded their heads in agrement, "That would be so cool."

Angel looked around and frowned, "Where's Cordelia, she should be here for this, it's a celebration?"

Wesley cleared his throat, "She ran out right after you made your announcement, she seemed upset."

Angel frowned, "She should have stayed this is important for both of us, all of us."

Buffy watched Angel closely. She could tell he was very agitated about Cordelia leaving. He had such a sad look to him. Buffy felt a tightness deep inside as she realized that Angel just might be in love with her old rival from Sunnydale High.

Part 16

Buffy looked at Angel she sighed and hoped she was about to do the right thing, "Angel can we go somewhere to talk privately?"

Angel nodded, "Sure my office will do."

Buffy followed Angel into his office and looked around, "Angel I want you to be truthful to both of us, do you love Cordelia?"

Angel sat down and placed his head in his hands, "Yes, I think, no I am in love with her, I am so sorry Buffy, I still have deep feelings for you but it's her that fills my thoughts."

Buffy fought back the tears, "I think she loves you too, I think she left cause she figures you'll turn to me now, but it's not me you want to be with is it?"

Angel sat back and stared at Buffy, he shook his head, "No, it is her I want, but Buffy something bad happened between us I don't know if she could give herself to me that way."

Buffy frowned, "What could be so bad that she wouldn't want to be with the man she loves?"

Angel fidgited with a pencil, he looked up at Buffy, "I am telling you something that is only between her and me, well some of it anyway, I got to a point where I couldn't cope with things and fell back on a old habit I had before Sunnydale. Buffy I....god this is hard but I used heroin and that's what I turned to again. Cordelia found me and I was so out of my mind, I....raped her."

Buffy gasped, "Oh god Angel, I...don't know what to say...wait she seemed comfortable with you when we first got here."

Angel nodded, "We have been working on trying to get back some sort of trust, I am afraid that it might be too much though for any kind of relationship."

Buffy sighed, "Angel don't give up, she is worth it, and I can't believe I am encouraging you in this."

A knock on the door interuped their conversation. Buffy opened the door to find Willow standing there, "Buffy we have decided to stay here for the night, Wesley said it would be ok."

Angel stood and smiled, "Great, let me get you some keys to the rooms that can be used."

Buffy sighed. She wanted Angel to be happy she waited until everyone was occupied she turned to Gunn.

"Look I have an errand to run I shouldn't be gone long, oh and what's Cordy's address?"

Gunn smiled and wrote down the address, "I know what you are doing, hope things go ok."

Buffy smiled, "Yeah me too."

Buffy quickly left the hotel and headed for Cordelia's place. She wiped the silent tears that fell down her cheeks away as she drove through the dark streets of L.A.

Part 17

Buffy knocked on Cordelia's door. She heard movement then the door flew open no one was there she felt a rush of wind and a push from behind. Buffy frowned and looked around. The wind kept swirling around her as if propelling her she went with the flow.

Buffy found Cordelia sitting on her bathroom floor crying and holding a broken glass, "Cordelia what are you doing?"

No response just tears and mumbles of " He doesn't love me he doesn't want me."

Buffy took the broken glass from Cordelia and checked for any wounds. When she didn't find any she lifted Cordelia up and took her to her bed and laid her down on it.

Buffy gave her gentle shake, "Hey, snap out of it we need to talk, come on Cordy it's me Buffy come on let me see the bitch that told me off plenty of times back in high school."

Cordelia blinked several times and stared at Buffy she frowned, "What, are you doing here? why aren't you with Angel?"

Buffy sighed, "Beause he don't want me he wants you it's that simple."

Cordelia shook her head, "No he loves you it's all he has thought of is you and him being together."

Buffy frowned, "Not any more, he told me what happened he doesn't think he has a chance with you and it is making him very sad, he told me he loves you and I am here to well let you know it's ok with me as much as it hurts all I want is for Angel to be happy."

Cordelia lay there and stared at the ceiling, she frowned, "I don't know if I can, the nightmares of what happened still haunt me."

Buffy took Cordelia in her arms, "Trust him, he loves you, and if you love him as much as you say you do, it will work out, he needs you, me well I am bad for him, my life is crazy I can't give him the stability he needs."

Cordelia sighed, "Oh Buffy, I love him I don't know when it happened and I am sorry."

Buffy shook her head, "Don't be it's been over between us for some time now we just both needed to let go of the fairytale and I think we finally have."

Cordelia pulled away from Buffy and wiped her eyes, "I will be ok, go back to the hotel I promise I won't do anything stupid."

Buffy stood up, "Oh by the way what or who let me in and practically shoved me into your room?"

Cordelia smiled, "Oh that was my ghost Dennis he's cool."

Buffy smiled and nodded, "Good, well later."

Buffy left Cordelia's place and headed back to the hotel. She was still hurting but not as much. She had a good feeling about things. Cordelia sat there a few minutes before she got up and went into the bathroom to take a shower before going to bed she had a lot to think about.

Part 18 Angel sat in his room worrying about Cordelia. Buffy knocked and entered the room she went over to Angel and leaned down and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek

. Angel looked up at her and frowned, "What was that for?" Buffy smiled slightly, "I love you Angel and always will but the fairytale is over and the only way the handsome prince will be happy is if he goes to his true love and let her know how much he does indeed love her."

Angel stood up and hugged Buffy, "I love you too and you're right about the fairytale of Buffy and Angel being over, I guess my princess is waiting for me. I'll never forget you, please find someone and be happy."

Buffy nodded, "I will give it a try and if I get lucky and find someone in time, I'll be happy this time I won't let a fantasy get in the way."

Angel smiled, "See you later, love you."

Buffy stood there and watched Angel grab his coat and walk away. She wiped the tears away.

Willow stepped into the room and went over to Buffy and put her arms around her, "You did the right thing." Buffy only nodded and buried her face on Willow's shoulder and cried.

Part 19 Angel knocked on Cordelia's door. She quickly opened it and smiled softly when she saw Angel. He smiled and took her into his arms and kissed her gently.

Cordelia stepped back, "Come on in Angel." Angel followed Cordelia into her place, "Buffy and I said our final goodbyes."

Cordelia nodded, "She came over here and we talked, about you and other things."

Angel reached out, "Cordelia I love you and I am so afraid of not having you in my life, your are my guiding light and I so want to be with you in every way."

Cordelia stepped into his arms, "I love you too Angel, I have been so miserable lately and have missed our closeness, I want to be with you also, but I am afraid."

Angel held her close, "It's ok I understand, we can take things slowly."

Cordelia looked up into Angel's eyes, "Come on let's go lay down together and just hold each other."

Angel smiled, "That would be nice." He followed her into her bedroom and took off his coat and shoes.

Cordelia laughed lightly, "You are so wondeful, come here."