I got this as an email forward. After reading it I realized that it has obviously been written by [1] a Mauritian [2] Living in the UK [3] of either Hindu or Muslim faith.

But still I think for a large part it does apply to all Mauritians. So….

 

Part A – which apply to me or to many Mauritians.

**When you tell your parents you got 98% marks in an exam, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent.

**When your parents insist that as you understand creole, you should  get an A* in GCSE French

**Your parents never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.

**You turn up at terminal 3 at the Air Mauritius check in with everything but the kitchen sink

**Everyone is a family friend.

**You like the meat in your ladobe well done

**On an appliction form, you state your ethnic origin as no.39 "other" and put down Mauritian <<< Actually it’s 0 not 39 for me, lol

**You teach Westerners swear words in your language 

**You go back to Mauritius and people treat you like a member of the  royal family by stuffing your face with gateaux Piments, Dhall puri (from Dewa & Sons), Eski and gateaux Neapolitan <<< VERY true, lol.

**You have annoying nicknames but they all tend to be foul names <<< My cousin was called Ti Cok for ages [small dick!!] I’m also known as big turd.

**No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.

 

Part B – Which apply to many Maurtians but not me!

**Your house smells like rougaille, briyani or carri poule

**Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years. [my aunt’s – by marriage – like that]

**You call an older person you've never met before "Ton ton" and then have to kiss him and his wife – “Tantine” (coz she remembered you when you were so high)

**You hide everything from your parents including the bottles of Green Island and bottles of Phoenix [GP is like that!]

**Your relatives alone could populate a small city. And we’re not just talking Rose Hill

**You went to a university as far away from home as possible and felt dead proud when you cooked rougaille for the first time

..BUT You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.

**You use chilli sauce (mazavarou) instead of tomato ketchup.

**You say you hate Indian films(/songs) coz you're Mauritian but secretly watch(/hear) them with your Parents.

**You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex in case “Tantine” sees you and tells your folks

**You're walking out of customs with your trolley t the Sir Seewoogsagur Ramgoolam and you see all possible members of your  family who have come to pick you up AND because the guys at customs are "famille" they let you through anyway with all your excess luggage as long as you slip them a bottle of Teachers

**You get very upset when Air Mauritius refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs overweight and so decide to bribe Vel with a pressie.

**You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how he had to walk miles just to get to school.

**You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go in order to not put dirt over Tantine and Tonton’s new carpet.

**Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try to demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting.

**Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids AND they are always doing better than you ("garcon la enna un top job") <<< my parents *never* do that. They always say “don’t compare yourself to others, you are not them!]

**Your parents drive a car with a big red ribbon on the mirror to “tire moffin”

**If you’re a bloke the likelihood is that you will be called one of the following: Jason, Kevin, Reuben, Steven or Darren

**And if you’re a girl; Vanessa, Sabrina, Pamela, Priscilla, Sabina or Lorna

 

Part C – Which apply to certain ethnic groups only, definitely not me!! [I mean arranged marriages, hahaha!]

**You do all the housework and cooking if you are female and your Mum  insists on singing your praises, once you’ve graduated so she can  marry you off or worse still, puts your graddie pic in Mauritius News  [NO WAY!]

**You study medicine or engineering at university

**But your parents came over [to UK, mostly Hindus]  in the 60’s to either do:

a) psychiatric nursing and then go on to own a nursing home

b) accountancy

c) work for British Airways

d) work for London Underground

**You were not that intelligent so you studied Computer science or business instead. [Pure shit]

**Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor or engineer. <<< yes, Indo-Mauritians are obsessed by engineering and medicine. This is very true!!

 

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