Four men went golfing together one day: three headed for the first tee
while the other went inside to pay the bill. The three men started
talking about their sons. The first man told the others "My
son is a home builder and he is so successful he gave a friend a new
home - for free!".
The second man said "My son is a car salesman and now he is so successful that last year he gave a friend one
Cadillac."
The third man not to be outdone, said "My son is a stock broker and he
is doing so well he gave a friend a stock portfolio."
The fourth man had finally joined them on the tee after paying the
bill. The first man mentioned that they were talking about their sons
and asked "How is your boy doing?" The fourth man rather sheepishly
replied: "Well, I'm not too proud to say that my son is gay, but he must things are going quite well for him: his last three boyfriends gave him a house, a
Cadillac, and a stock portfolio".
A short one...
Do you know why black peoples have lighter palms of hands and sole of feet?
- Because they were on all fours when they where painted...
And do you know why white people have a darker ass-hole?
- Because the black people were not yet dry!
(I like this one, specially because it was told to me by a Togolese friend...)
Something to think about...
Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.Vampire tale...
A man breaks down in his car in the pouring rain in the middle of the night on a deserted road deep in the woods. He has no idea what is wrong and remembers that the last house he saw was many miles away. He is just getting ready to sleep in the car when a tall dark man appears from nowhere. He offers to look at the car and finds that he could fix it. Before he does he makes a strange proposal: "I am a vampire" he says, "and will only help you if you help me. There are two ways: first you can let me suck a litre of blood or, if you prefer, I can fuck you. You can decide later."
The first man thinks of his appointment the following day which he really must attend and finally agrees. The vampire then mends the car and asks: "Well, which is it to be?". By this time the motorist is already taking down his pants and they quickly get down to it over the bonnet of the car.
After a while the vampire feels that he is not getting a very good bargain and asks: "Say, couldn�t you put a bit more life into it?". The motorist replies: "Hey, I�m not gay!" to which the other replies, "Well, I am not a vampire either�"
Being a parachutist, I do appreciate this one:
A young man joined the Army and signed up to be a paratrooper. He went through the whole training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first real jump. The next day, he called his father to tell him the news.
"So, did you jump?" the father asked.
"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!"
"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
"Not yet, not yet... Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told be to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."
"So, did you jump?"
"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, ``Boy, are you gonna jump or not?'' I said,``No, sir. I'm too scared.'' So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a baseball bat! He said, ``Boy, either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this baby up your ass.'' "
"Then I suppose jump?" asked the father.
"Well, a little, at first."
An appetizing one...
Three friends are in a bar bragging about exploits and abilities. The conversation finally turned to some comparisons. To prove their cases the three men placed the topics of conversation on the bar for measurement.
Just then, a gay man entered the bar...
The bartender asked the man, "What do you take?"
The man replies, "Well, I was going to have a beer but I think I'll have the buffet instead."
A very short one...
Q. What's the ultimate example of trust?
A. Two cannibal men having oral sex.
Some gays have troubles with their mother...
A closeted gay man yeilds to pressure from his suspicious mother and invites her to visit his home. He and his partner Jeff decide to tell her they are just friends and set up the spare room as Jeff's bedroom.During dinner, noticing Jeff is also a handsome and single man, she begins to ask probing questions. The son says "Mother, I know what you are thinking but Jeff and I are only friends, nothing more." This stops her questioning for the rest of the visit.
The next week Jeff notices that their prized silver soup ladle that they used during the visit is missing and he tells his partner. The son writes to his mother "Mother, Jeff has noticed the silver soup ladle is missing. I'm not saying whether or not you took it but it has been missing since your visit."
His mother writes back "I not saying whether or not you are sleeping with Jeff, but if he had been sleeping in his own bed he would have found that silver soup ladle by now!"