Ummmm, spontaneous pneumothorax. A very interesting diagnosis. you would think that they would just call it a collapsed lung. Mostly happens to accident victims and people in vehicle accidents. Not to someone like me. I was asked once, "how did you know your lung had collapsed"?Actually I was sleeping and it woke me a 5 o'clock in the morning. Pain, pain so bad I thought I was having a heart attack! Then I couldn't breathe. The chest pain went away and all I could do is cough and not breathe. I ran downstairs and tried to catch my breath. If I wake my husband, (like I have so many times before) for nothing. No, I couldn't do that. You see I have a lot of health problems and spent alot of my time in the ER. My husband came down and said whats wrong? He could tell right away that this is real. He hurried and got dressed and sped me to the hospital that was only about 4 miles away, thank God. The doctor in the ER took blood and waited till the x-ray tech came in at 7:00 a.m. It was only 5:30 a.m. No need to panic I guess. After all like I said, I had been there often. The x-ray tech got to the ER around 7:15 and did the chest x-ray. In the meantime they gave me something for pain. The doctor said," I see no changes in your blood work".Thank God," I thought at least I am not having a heart attack. The doctor continued," There is something with your x-rays though that I can't pinpoint. Do you feel comfortable going home because I think you have pneumonia. I said, "sure I want to go home". I mean who wants to stay in a hospital when you can't even smoke? Not me! So, the doc let me come home for about 1 hour. He called back and informed me I had to get back there as soon as I could. My lung was 30% collapsed. Imagine my surprise! They always did call our hospital a band-aid station.
My husband rushed me back to the ER and the doctor that made the boo boo (to be kind) showed me the x-ray and ask me if I saw where it had collapsed and I said you have got to be kidding, right? I can't read x-rays. With a glance at me he said under his breath (hoping I didn't hear or anyone else for that matter), apparently, neither do I!
Well enough of the capabilities of the phyician or the hospital because it turned out that I had the best surgeon and our hospital it turned out wasn't just a band-aid station. The nurses were the best also!
Here I am. I can't breathe! I mean really can't breathe. The doctor told me I had to have a chest tube inserted. My first question would be "Is it going to hurt real bad". Only a little. A surgeon does this work. Funny, I thought they would do this in an operating room. No way! We can torture you anywhere we want to. They took me to my hospital room and I waited and waited thinking all the while all the cigs I could've smoked while I waited. Finally, the surgeon came in and told me that they could numb the outside but they can't numb the inside! What? You mean this is going to hurt?
I'm afraid so, he tried to be so calming. About all I remember is the screaming and thinking about all the patients that must be hearing all this and thinking that I was having a colonoscopy done without sedation. Well, I had that done and it was a piece of cake compared to this and so was childbirth!!!!!!!! I have to tell you right now, he said, "You have to quit smoking or this will happen again and it could very well happen to the same lung or the other one"!I said,"No Problem"! Just give me the patch and right now some more demerol!!!!!! The nerve of this guy, telling me I have to quit smoking as if I am that stupid to want to go through this again. He didn't tell me not to move too much because it might need pushed up there again. I think it was worse the second time because he didn't numb anything. Well, it's been about 1 week and I am still laying here with this tube in my chest and luckily for me the patch worked and I didn't need a cig although the pain might have had something to do with it. Hey, I thought I can handle this. Are you ready to quit yet? You know, the doctor said everyone had these blebs they call them that can rupture any time like mine did. You have to have a cat scan to pick them up because an x-ray doesn't. Make you feel better?
Pneumothorax is suppose to heal itself most of the time, for awhile anyway. Most people that heal themselves without surgery usually end up back in the hospital having surgery done on them eventually. Mine didn't heal on it's own. I had the surgery. I cannot explain the pain and the agony I went through. Eight days later my lung collapsed more and they did the surgery for me the same day. My hell had just begun! I woke up from surgery and felt as though someone had boiled my lung and skin around where the surgeon had to cut. I had a spinal for anesthesia along with being put out, but the anethtesist put it in the wrong area and I was in hell when I awoke until the anethtesist that was better at that procedure found out that I was in total pain and fixed what was wrong all along up until that time, I had wished I were dead. I couldn't even explain the pain. I had nothing like it before. It burned so bad I couldn't breathe. I did find out that the surgeon attached the lung to my chest wall and that had alot to do with what I was going through.It is now 11 months since that happened and I am still not better. Actually, my nightmare continues. Would you believe that my cravings for cigs got really bad 4 and 5 months later. I still get cravings but everytime I think of my lung collapsing again I get so scared and I could kick my ass everytime I want a cig cause I know this will happen again if I smoke. I am not even allowed in smoke filled rooms. I am still on pain meds and nerve meds. I might be on them a long time to come. Then I have to live with the fear that this will happen at any time again. That doesn't stop the cravings for the cigs though. I am dying for one right now. Oops, wrong choice of words, wouldn't you say?
I have some time to think about what my life means to me now. See, this event in my life brought on some new feelings in me that I never had before. One of them.Fear. Fear of the simple things in life. Fear of leaving my house and fear of going anywhere by myself in case some thing happens to me. What if I am shopping and I lose my breath? Panic attacks!!!! Do you know what a panic attack is? I could tell you and alot of people could. I never had them before this happened to me. I had to stay in the hospital over night a few weeks after that episode for another reason and I didn't sleep all night. I was so fearful and all I could do is remember the nightmare I had just gone through. This I can't change anymore. I have to start over. I was an out going person that wasn't afraid of too much. Just a regular person till this happened to me. I am a different person. I don't know if I will ever really recover. I am thankful to God. I have a lot to be thankful for. I don't have lung cancer and I pray I never will. I have to worry about this disease I never heard of before. I don't have to worry about it, but after having this, you can't help but worry. I am 40 years old. I should be enjoying my life. I am lot of people don't understand what this does to them and it takes along time to heal and some never do. I never will. I damaged my lungs for good because I had to follow the crowd. When I was young the warnings weren't there. I wish they would have been. At least I would have had a choice. You do today. Please listen to your body. It's the only one you have. Take care of it!!!!!! I didn't and I am paying now. Those cigs had such a hold on me and I probably wouldn't have quit if this didn't happen. If I could only explain how much pain there is. You would quit. Because I was too weak to quit, my lungs are now too weak and damaged to work.I was weak and now thanks to my smoking so are my lungs!!!!!!!!!!!
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