My dog has to be the coolest thing on the planet...well at least to me anyway.  Today I was going to take a trip to Best Buy and pick up the new Fight Night boxing game, and so as I always do when I'm about to leave I go to the front gate and tell Vick I'll be back in a few.  I know, it sounds ridiculous, but he's my buddy.  So I go out the front door, round the corner of the house, and there he is at the gate.  I start to tell him I'll be back in a few when this dog comes running up.  I don't know what kind it was, but it was pretty big.  It starts to come up to me and Vick goes ballistic!  He is growling and barking with an intensity I've never heard before...and you know what happened?  That other dog took off.  To me, Vick is my buddy who will always be that same puppy I brought home almost three years ago, but underneath that fluffy exterior is the heart of a killer...and that rocks.  When I got home I figured I would reward his coolness by taking him for a walk.  I swear, he loves going for walks so much that as soon as I grab the leash he runs to the back door (I have to take him through the house because I have one of those invisible fence wires running through the gate) and starts breathing heavier and gets so excited he'll do this thing where he keeps his hind legs on the floor like he's sitting, and then stand up waving his front paws in the air.  Every time I go to hook his leash up, he starts trying to go through the back door...and this is where I crack myself up that probably NO ONE else will laugh at.  Ever seen the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"?  Remember the scene where the dad is driving back to the house and he's got the girl in the truck who's screaming and stuff?  I always imitate a line from that when Vick gets all hyper...I'll do my best imitation of the dad and tell him "now now...you just take it easy...there's no need for all that" and then start laughing at how funny I am.  Also when I feed Vick at night I'll quote the dad from that movie again and tell him "now you just take it easy and I'll get you some supper...would you like some supper?"  Oh man I'm HILARIOUS!

Yeah, I got that game today and it rocks above all things that rock.  See when football season ends it's boxing season for me.  I LOVE boxing.  I have a pretty good collection of fights and documentaries on DVD because I like watching the older stuff...you know back when the guys really fought.  You watch a heavyweight title fight today and the announcers get all impressed when Lennox Lewis throws 6 jabs in a round.  Snoozefest beyond belief.  Even though I personally don't like Ali, I swear man he was unreal.  Of course the man will always be Marvelous Marvin Hagler.  See I have this little thing against Sugar Ray Leonard.  Many years ago, Hagler fought Leonard and it sadly went to the judges' scorecards...and when that happened I knew Leonard was going to win because he was the golden boy at the time...much like Peyton Manning and Tom Brady are in today's NFL.  Well Hagler lost and he never should have...many boxing experts will say Hagler got screwed and I agree COMPLETELY.  So today I went and got Fight Night Round 3 for the PS2, popped it in, and on the main menu was an option called "ESPN Classics" so I selected it.  The description said something like "relive classic boxing rivalries" and had Ali v. Frazier, Jones v. Toney, LaMotta v. Robinson, and then there it was...Leonard v. Hagler.  The last two versions of this game didn't have Hagler in it...but fate smiled on me.  With my hands trembling, I selected that fight and played as Hagler.  I was going to teach that golden boy known as Sugar Ray a lesson in PAIN baby!  So there I am...a 37 year old man controlling a pixelated representation of Marvelous Marvin Hagler beating the crap out of Sugar Ray Leonard to heal the wounds from almost 20 years ago.  In the 4th round, Leonard went down and never got up.  Again I have to say...there I am...a 37 year old man...but this time I'm yelling at the TV "C'MON LEONARD!!!  GET UP BITCH!!!   I GOT A LOTTA MORE FOR YOU!!!"  In my little world, this fight was as important as any other I've watched in real life...I couldn't have Leonard winning this one.  Hagler even went down in the 2nd round, but like the badass he was, he got up and pummeled the golden boy.  See, in MY world the judges weren't going to matter...it wouldn't go the distance...either he was going down or I was...and that scared Leonard...oh I could tell.  When I corralled him into the corner and started a flurry of body shots, I saw that look on his face of "please stop...I can't defend against this" and I poured it on in a relentless fashion.  And in that 4th round Leonard made a HUGE mistake.  He stepped in with a right hook...I blocked it and followed up with two brilliant uppercuts that sent him to the mat....he never got up.  Yes, I smiled when it showed Hagler parading around the ring as Leonard was on the mat, knowing in my fantasy world that Hagler could take out Leonard any day of the week.  So now when boxing historians debate who really won that fight...I can always think back to a Saturday in the winter of 2006 and know in my heart that Hagler truly beat Leonard regardless of what the record books say.

Oh, remember my story from last week where I got the phone number of that Hooter's waitress?  Well she never called me back so let the laughter begin...hahahaha.  No big deal...her loss.  Serious, it is.  I mean what girl wouldn't want to be with a guy who puts his life on hold so he can settle the debate over who really won the Hagler v. Leonard fight in 1987 while acting it out in a new videogame?  No big deal...wasn't the first and I'm sure it won't be the last.  But I can tell you this...I have something planned for this upcoming week that will become a very entertaining story I'm sure.  No, it doesn't include me sending a girl a letter where all the words are made out of letters cut out of various magazines with various grainy black and white photos of her that she didn't know I took...even though one might think a girl would appreciate that kind of effort...hahahahaha!   Trust me though...it's going to be a funny story regardless of how it turns out.  I need some excitement next week anyway, especially considering I had to sit through a training class in corporate America all last week. Oh man it was AGONIZING!  The only thing missing were the small wooden desks from my college days.  Assigned break times, assigned lunch times, I was about to lose it.  Now remember, I'm A.D.D. guy to the nth degree...so an 8 hour class is excruciating.   After ten minutes I'm like "what the instructor just said reminds me of this movie I saw last year...that reminds me of something someone said last week...that reminds me of a CD coming out next month...maybe they'll have a song that sounds like something off their last CD from a few years back...wow I remember this girl I knew back then...she always watched this TV show...I hate that show...but that one dude that was in it starred in a movie I saw once...he sucked in the next movie...but hat movie had a song that sounded like one I heard back in high school when I liked this one girl...I wonder what ever happened to her...oh yeah she liked this other guy...he was a jerk like this other dude I knew once...I saw him at the ten year reunion...man that club the reunion was at sucked...I remember going in there once before the reunion even happened...man the job I had at the time sucked" and on and on and on.  That's where my brain takes me during this stuff...it's like Charlie Brown's teacher up there going "wah wah...wah wah wah".

Senate stuff...I had a guy who's a reporter from a TV station in Memphis contact me last week.  He needs a photo for his story.  You know what this means?  I'm going to have take a photo looking like a "real" candidate.  The only one I have is on the front of my website at www.boforsenate.com and I guess that wouldn't do.  So now I have to get a picture of me looking like a "politician".  I'm still debating...do I go with a traditional 8x10 headshot or do I make one where I'm in a button-down and khakis sitting on an older couple's front porch listening to their concerns?

But guess what...I am a rock god.  I am...serious...don't deny it.  My band NoiseCult is getting ready to head into the studio next month to record the follow-up to our smash debut "End of Days" and wee needed one more song.  So this past week I sat down and wrote one...and it rocks!  Well of course it does seeing how I wrote it.  I can never write lyrics that don't mean anything...I wish I could.  If you listen to old Judas Priest or any of those types, the lyrics are ridiculous...yet they fit.  Oh no...mine have to mean something...like they're all important.  I have to be like Bono of U2 and change the world through the power of my music...hahahahahaha.  So I write this tune and we now have all the songs we need to go into the studio next month to record our sophomore effort...and I have to say these tunes rock the crap out of the last stuff we did...and of course that's because I'm doing the vocals now...hahahahaha.  Oh the song I wrote?  It's called "Incinerate" and is basically about all those pricks that use people to get what they want.  I mean not like I would know about anyone that does that....uh huh...like we all don't.  I just need a good "I'm pissed off and need to scream" kind of song.  To me the mark of a great song is one that makes me want to start smashing stuff...hahahahaha.  Serious...when we're jamming and we hit a killer groove and I feel like taking a baseball bat to fine china...then I know we've come across a special riff.  I just want to play stuff that gets the blood pumping...nothing wrong with that.   Ok...more in the next few days including news of the upcoming horror convention and the story I talked about earlier...stay tuned Sportsfans!