Now the subject of tonight's tale has been touched on before: our previous drummer Kelly.  I believe I have mentioned previously that a few weeks ago we just stopped hearing from him and we had to scramble to find a replacement because we had two gigs booked.  Then the singer quit and I took over.  Before I go on, I do have to say that everything could not have worked out better.  I have never had more fun than I do getting to play bass and do lead vocals, and the drummer we got is WAY better than Kelly could ever be.  Anyway, Chris had told us he was quitting but might do the two gigs we had booked just to finish them out.  Honestly, Don and I both knew he wasn't going to so I started doing vocals in practice as a just in case.  It was during this first practice with me on vocals that Kelly started acting tentative about the upcoming gigs, saying things like "we probably shouldn't do these without Chris" and stuff like that.  But before I go on, here's a little background to the story.  Kelly hooked up with some chick last Spring, and as a lot of guys do when they hook up they just stop coming around and forget that they have a life.  Their lives become completely wrapped around every single time the girl breathes...they feel they need to be there for every inhale and exhale.  It's quite pathetic...I know this because I've done it a long time ago and thankfully learned my lesson.  The first sign of the chick controlling his life was when he asked if we could only practice two nights a week instead of three.  Honestly, I was ok with this because I know the songs and racing home from work and then off to practice and everything can be a little draining sometimes, but him just getting more comfortable with the songs was important, yet we were like "yeah that's cool".  I started joking with him at this time that his woman was controlling him and he was going to flake out and quit the band, to which he always replied with some macho statement about how he controls things and blah blah blah.  We spend the Spring and early summer getting the songs down and bringing him up to speed and then recording our first CD and all that.  The goal was to finish all this junk up and start playing in July.  Making CD's isn't exactly cheap, so we all agreed to chip in on it all...and of course Kelly never paid.

So now it's the week before July 4th.  Chris announced he was leaving and we had a gig booked on the 17th.  Now this gig wasn't something we could just back out of.  It was at a club in town called The Basement, and the dude that owns it was basically doing Don (our guitar player) a favor because he never books rock/metal acts.  I mean the guy is trying to run a business so backing out would be a very crappy thing to do, not to mention give us a bad name.  Don's mom was even flying up to Nashville from Miami to see the gig...she came up for the first one we did last summer too...she's a cool lady.  With all this, we couldn't cancel which is why I stepped in to do vocals.  Kelly knew we couldn't back out too, yet was all "man, without Chris we shouldn't do this show" but we kept saying we had to and we would make it work one way or another.  We're setting up practice times for the next week, and Kelly was going out of town with his chick over July 4th weekend...no problem on the surface...but that was the last we heard from him until today.  He said he'd call when he got back in town and we could schedule practice then, but he never called.  Don and I kept calling and emailing his chick (he doesn't have a computer) and we never heard a damn thing.  Thankfully Don was able to find another drummer and in two weeks this guy learned all the songs and we did the gig on the 17th.  Now I've already written about that show and how well it went...Vinnie the new drummer rocked.  And of course we played that West Memphis 3 show and we all kicked ass as well.  During this whole time Don and I kept trying to contact Kelly and/or his chick wondering what the heck had happened.  I mean I honestly thought maybe they got in a wreck or something because Kelly's drums were still over at Don's and I would think he would want them back.  So for weeks we wondered what had gone down...then I found out.

I was on instant messenger the other night and our old singer Chris was online.  I started chatting with him just to say hey and see what's up...no bad blood...I knew he wasn't digging the stuff anymore and am glad he left because now I get to do vocals...hahahaha.  Anyway, I told him the saga of Kelly and that we never heard from him, and Chris tells me he got a call from Kelly around July 10th.  I was like "what???"  Chris goes on to explain to me that Kelly had called him to talk him out of doing the show on the 17th if Chris was still planning on doing it.  Kelly figured if Chris wasn't there then we couldn't pull it off and he could back out because he wanted to do his country music thing with his little chick instead.  Isn't that so sweet?  What Kelly didn't count on was me being a metal god and friggin ruling on vocals that night...hahaha.  I was pretty shocked over this...I mean to a degree anyway...I had a feeling he didn't want to do it and like a lot of people do when something comes up they don't want to do, they avoid the whole thing hoping it will somehow magically work itself out instead of having the guts to confront it.  I have never had at any time in my life a situation that was improved by ignoring a problem...they all have to be dealt with at sometime and the sooner the better.  Anyway, I relayed this new information to Don and we're both a little peeved.  Kelly knew we couldn't back out of this thing without being complete jerks and like I said, Don's mom was even flying into town.  Selfish?  I seem to think so.

Ok, the other night at practice we're talking about all this and Don says he's going to email Kelly's little chickie.  He copied me on it, and in the email it said that unless Kelly came over to pick up his drums by August 16th that we were going to sell them to get the money he owed on the CD...and a few references were made about Kelly not having the balls to say he wanted out or let us know what was going on and all that.  Well guess what happened today...we finally heard from Kelly!  Wow....he couldn't be considerate enough or respectful enough to ever call us back over the last several weeks, but threaten to sell his drums and he appears out of nowhere.  Don got a reply from the little woman saying how she shouldn't have to be threatened while at work and blah blah blah...what the hell ever.  You know what I love?  I love it when you call someone on their BS and they get ALL mad and defensive and try to turn things around to make it sound like you are the one who is doing something wrong....I LOVE it.  I used to get pissed off when people did that, but now I find great joy in watching someone waste so much energy in trying to make themselves feel better and justify their bs.  So she tells Don that Kelly will be contacting him by one o'clock.  Did he?  Heck no...he called around 5 and was supposedly at Don's with some buddies to get his drums.  Two things here - Don stated in the email to not just show up but to call beforehand to make sure he would be home to avoid the whole "I told you I'd come by" crap...and another is that fact that Kelly felt the need to bring some buddies with him...like a rumble is going to break out...hahahaha.  So Don is going to call him tonight and tell him he'll be home tomorrow about 6 and to come then...and I'll be there because we have practice.  I mean jeez...just get your drums and leave, you know?  I don't need excuses, justifications, lies, whatever, just grab your crap and leave.  I seriously doubt it's going to result in violence or anything at all...but I would like to be there because no one wants to get into a battle of any word games with me.  However, I will be a good boy and not provoke anything because fighting is stupid.  Seriously, unless your life is being threatened or some jerk just will not let up, fighting is about the dumbest thing you can do.

So there you have it...a guy who is so gutless he wouldn't face his problems and hid hoping they would just go away magically.  I can't stand it when people act like cowards.  There is no greater thrill in the world than confronting a challenge head on and overcoming it.   If he didn't want to do it anymore then fine, just say so and be a friggin man about it and not a little kid.  Oh, my favorite remark was when his little woman said in her email that Kelly didn't want to do the show without a capable singer.  I have one thing to say to her - honey you should have seen the show because I was MORE than capable baby.

So there you have it, the tale of a wuss.  The saga of a guy who was too much of a coward to face up to his responsibilities and keep his word...and his true colors shined...he's just a little baby.