You know what?  There's part of me that wishes "Land of the Dead" didn't come out this weekend.  I know...unreal huh?  I know what you're thinking - "what on earth would make you think that way?" and I would say "I know, I know, it's crazy talk" but it's true.  Well to answer your question, I will say that next week's buzz was going to contain the mention of two movies, but due to circumstances that transpired last night I felt the need to devote an entire week to one movie, and the part of me that wishes "Land of the Dead" didn't come out for another week wants to still bask in the glow of one of the greatest movie experience I have had in a loooooong time.  The movie?  "Batman Begins".

Now when I say "movie", I only use that term because that is what it will always be commonly referred to.  However I would place it with such masterpieces as The Sistine Chapel or the Mona Lisa...mere words can not possibly do it justice.  Let's take a look back for a moment to just a couple of weeks ago where I stated the following -

"I'm going to go out on a limb here.  Remember weeks ago when I was talking about the lack of cool and macho actors?  Christian Bale may be the one of this generation...no lie."

You know I really hate to keep pointing out how right I am, but again, I hit the bullseye here.  This guy is the one that was destined to play Bruce Wayne/Batman.  Any dude that can wear the Batman outfit and still convey so much emotion and anger and everything the way he did when you really can't even see his face deserves a friggin Oscar.  One of my favorite parts was where he's got this crooked cop hanging upside down and is asking him about this drug shipment and everything, and after the cop tells him everything the cop goes "swear to God"...and Batman adopts one of the most menacing tones in his voice I've heard in a long time and states "SWEAR TO ME!".  Man that's one of those break out in goosebumps kind of scenes.  But before this turns into too much of a ramble, let me sit back for a moment, take a deep breath, and collect my thoughts.

Let me start off by saying this movie is a guy movie in every sense of the term.  It starts with a big fighting scene so you know it's going to kick serious ass.  You've got car chases, guns, explosions, fights, crooked cops, mafia, an evil villain, everything.  Oh, and also you don't have some stupid lovey-dovey romance side story to worry about either.  It hints at it for a minute, but like the red-blooded male that I am I was quickly relieved to find out it wasn't going to go anywhere...it would take away from fight scenes and guns and explosions.  The movie goes through Bruce Wayne's beginnings, the murder of his parents, his training in different fighting styles, the birth of the outfit and gadgets, everything you would expect.  But the WAY it does it was so friggin awesome.  Christian Bale is such an awesome actor he did an unbelievable job of putting on his "rich boy" persona but you could still see him brooding underneath it all.  I could literally go on for pages on how good he did citing specific scenes, but that would ruin it.  Forget Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney and Adam West...Christian Bale IS Batman.  Michael Caine as Alfred was unreal...he added such a sense of class to that role and wasn't some bumbling buffoon butler used for comic relief.  Morgan Freeman...what is it with that guy?  I swear that dude could be on screen and read the ingredients of a bag of Dorito's and it would sound interesting, like the fate of the world hangs in the balance.  Gary Oldman as a "not yet Commissioner" Gordon was awesome as well...and it's very weird seeing him as a good guy.  What's weird is that the only comic relief moments of the movie were probably times when he was being a little quirky, but because it's Gary Oldman it wasn't stupid...it was done very low key.  Oh man, plus Rutger Hauer was in it.  That dude is always cool.  Ever since I saw "The Hitcher" YEARS ago he adds a bit of mystery to whatever role he plays because you just don't know what he's thinking.  Cillian Murphy was in it, the dude that starred in "28 Days Later" and he was perfect for the role of Dr. Crane and.....ahhhhh....I shouldn't say....but the way they did his alter-ego was sheer brilliance and whoever came up with how to transform him deserves a Nobel Prize.  And Liam Neeson...could anyone else ever play a better "sage-like" character in a movie?  I mean where was this guy when I was in high school having trouble in math?  I bet he could have taught me all sorts of cool ways to remember Trigonometry.  It's like every thing he would say just oozed wisdom...much like his character in Episode One of Star Wars.  I can see it now...for some reason we both have kendo sticks in some oriental looking training room facing off, and he goes "remember, to master the variables present in these equations you must always remember at any time you can multiply or divide" and then we start wailing at each other with the kendo sticks.  Man that would rock.  Oh yeah, Katie Holmes.  Honestly I would say she's the only shortcoming of the masterpiece.  It's not that she was horrible, but she was just kind of "there".  In fact I already read that for the next one they're going to cast someone else for her role because they want someone who is a little more dynamic.  However I must say that the final scene she is in you can definitely tell she's not wearing a bra...so that was cool.  Hey, I said it's a guy movie remember?

One shortcoming of all superhero movies is some reference to the campiness of it all...like in "Spider Man 2" when Peter Parker is walking down the street and some Japanese woman is singing "Spider Man...Spider Man...does whatever a spider can..."....stuff like that.  This movie had NONE!  Let me repeat that....THIS MOVIE HAD NONE!  If it did...I didn't catch it so that means it was subtle enough to where it didn't matter.  Now one might think with the star power this movie had oozing cool in every celluloid frame that Christian Bale would be overshadowed.  HAHAHAHAHA...perish the thought!  This guy definitely proved he can outdo the big boys and this movie should make him the bona-fide superstar he should be.  Serious, after I saw "Equilibrium" a few years back, I knew this guy was badass.  Like I said a couple of weeks back, the first thing I saw him in was "American Psycho" which was very well done.  It was a lot different from the book which was probably for the best.  I say that because that book was one of the most twisted and demented things I have ever read in my life.  At the time I was studying a lot of criminal psychology and heard about it so I picked it up.  I would never suggest anyone read it unless you have a cast-iron stomach...it is truly disturbing.  In fact, it completely obliterates the saying "truth is stranger than fiction" because every story of a serial killer I ever read had nothing on the character of Patrick Bateman.  But back to Batman...I said my favorite superheroes are ones that rise from some sort of tragedy or whatever, like "The Punisher" for instance.  I love the story of a regular dude thrust into a role he doesn't really want but it's what he has to do because that takes guts.  Screw all this Superman stuff where he comes from another planet...yippee...I want a dude who is fueled by tragedy and vengeance.  Batman is about the epitome of all that, and Bale played it perfect....no flaws at all.  Every encounter he had with someone was done to perfection while he was figuring out how to channel his rage.  The look he has when he confronts the head mafia guy is amazing...he looks completely devoid of any care or fear...and the way he says stuff echoes it perfectly.  Oh, and you remember how in the first Batman movie, Michael Keaton added a little gruff to his voice to disguise it when he was the caped crusader?  Well in this one the voice he uses as Batman is completely void of traces of Bruce Wayne....it's quite amazing.

Bottom line is this movie isn't just a movie...it's an experience.  In fact, I was online earlier at work today on Instant Messenger with a dude I used to work with who's a big comic book fan and asked him if he's seen it yet.  He said he's going to wait for DVD because he already saw the new Star Wars and he's married and everything so he can't go out much.  I told him to get a divorce and go see it...hahahaha.  When I left the theater I was ready to race home, make a crude costume and go fight crime in my own little Gotham City called Nashville.  To sum it up, if you're a guy and this movie doesn't get your blood flowing then you really need to analyze your manhood.  And the best part?  They left room for a sequel at then end!  YES!!!  Oh the next two years will creep by...oh yes they will while I wait for it.  I plan on seeing this more then once while it's in the theaters...and that is an unbelievable statement from someone like me who loathes theaters so much.  Yeah, in a few days is "Land of the Dead", but I have this horrible fear that I'll be watching it thinking to myself "man...I should have gone to see 'Batman' again".  I hope not, but we'll see....