New to the Rum & coke Buzz Awards?  Well here's how it all began.  Several years back I ran a website for TNA wrestling, and I got SO sick of other wrestling websites doing these "serious" end of the year awards for crap like match of the year, wrestler of the year, blah blah blah.  These guys acted like because they had a pro wrestling website that somehow their opinions were filled with merit.  So when it came to the end of the first year I did my site, I went a different route and gave end of the year awards to hot women, cool actors, great movies, and stuff like that because I am about the last person to take myself seriously with some stupid internet end of the year award.  Anyway, I've kept it going for a few years and now it's time to do it again.  The categories have basically stayed the same since the original one, and these include Lifetime Achievement Award, Man of the Year, Movie of the Year, Babe of the Year, and whatever else I feel deserves an "of the year" award.  So sit back with your favorite beverage and let's get things rolling for this year....

But before I get to the awards, I have to say that 2007 kicked some major ass.  Sure, there were some downs to go with the ups, but in the grand scheme of things it all rocked.  I'm about to complete my first year training in Mixed Martial Arts, my band Noisecult rocks beyond belief and we released our third CD as well as open for two bands I've been a fan of for years  - Trouble and Overkill.  Basically I had a great time in 2007...and I've noticed that each year keeps getting better and better.  You know why I think they do?  It's because I keep taking chances and exploring new things.  Living by playing it safe is BORING.  So what if something doesn't work out...at least give it a shot because then you will NEVER have to wonder "what if".  You can always keep your chin up by trying something you want to do even if you think you failed.  By taking chances, you're already showing a lot more guts than a lot of people have.  So what does 2008 hold for yours truly?  I don't know...I like to make it up as I go...haha.  One thing is that I won't be doing MMA training anymore after January and will focus exclusively on Muay Thai since a new school opened a few miles up the road from me.  Another thing I know is that Noisecult will continue to rock...each gig we had in 2007 got better and better.  Other than that I have no idea.  Maybe this year will be the one I actually meet my dream girl who can fully appreciate all my quirks...yeah right!  Oh...remember when I wrote months ago about the woman I met and I was telling her how much I love video games, and she said that I probably shouldn't mention that the first time I talk to a woman?  I was reminded of Eva Longoria who said that guys who play games are just too immature for her...yet she's now defending her man who's being accused of a big affair.  Hey Eva, I may be an immature video game player, but I HAVE NEVER CHEATED...SO THERE!!!!  I really hate to admit it, but when I saw the story of her dude being accused of having an affair, I was like "huh...what a shame...ok and now back to deathmatch mode on Call of Duty 4".  Ok, enough of this...I know you are all dying to see the awards...so here they are...

The first award for this year is the coveted Lifetime Achievement Award.  Last year it went to Sylvester Stallone for the awesomeness of the Rocky and Rambo movies.  Little did I know at that time he was also doing a new Rambo movie which will be out on January 25th...please someone grab me a towel to soak up the drool.  With each passing year this award gains more and more merit based on those who receive it, and this year's winner is beyond deserving.  Here you go...this year's winner is...

If you don't know who Stan Lee is, shame on you.  This is the guy who is responsible for the greatest superheroes of all time.  Heroes like Spider Man, The Incredible Hulk, The Fantastic Four, Iron Man, and the list goes on and on.  If it wasn't for him, my childhood...heck to be honest...my life would have a huge void.  With all the superhero dork-dom I ramble about all the time, Stan Lee is basically the brains behind it all.  He and Marvel Comics have brought so much great entertainment to SO many dorks like me he needs to be commended.  And what's really cool is if you see recent interviews with him...the guy speaks about these characters with so much passion after all these years as if they were his children...and I guess in a way they are.  Plus his voice is unmistakable.  If you've ever seen any of the old Spider Man, Hulk, Captain America, or various other Marvel cartoons it was him narrating them.  And if you don't think I'm a complete geek about superheroes, ask me what I thought about "The Hulk" movie.  Be ready to hear me go on for HOURS about the travesty it was.  Thankfully in 2008 I have a new one to look forward to...hopefully it will be true to the real thing.  Marvel just rocks...and it's all because of Stan Lee.  Characters like The Punisher, Doctor Strange. Blade, The X-Men...they all go back to Stan Lee.  He is beyond deserving of this award...EXCELSIOR!!!  And if you don't recognize that...you just don't get it.

And now it's time for man of the year.  Last year I gave it to myself, and for good reason.  After all, I had just completed my run for the U.S. Senate while fronting a metal band which I don't think too many people could claim to have done.  This year I was tempted to name myself again, but that wouldn't be right.  Granted I still front a metal band and am wrapping up one year of Mixed Martial Arts training, which are both hard-core proof of my manliness, but I found another winner...actually two winners....

Have you watched "The Human Weapon" on the History Channel?  If not...you are missing out.  Now I have to say this is an award that isn't to be taken lightly.  To get it you truly have to be a real man...as in someone that shows no fear and thinks Ben Affleck is a wuss.  Ok, I have to admit that I have no idea if either of these guys think Ben Affleck is a wuss, but I do.  If you never saw the show I'll give you a quick synopsis - These two guys would travel all over the world to study a native form of martial arts in whatever country they were in.  They would train for a week and then fight against some dude who is either some kind of regional champ or a guy who has trained in that style for years.  Now granted, both of these guys have martial arts backgrounds, but to do something like travel to Thailand, train in Muay Thai for a week, and then step into the ring against a dude who has lived that style 24/7 takes a HUGE amount of guts.  To do what they did, and I don't care what all the internet geeks said about it all being a TV show, means your balls have to be huge...so huge you can drape them over a shoulder.  Yeah, I read different martial arts forums where people dissed them because they were all convinced that some dude who trained in whatever style for one week could never hang with a dude who had been training in that style for years...but to that I say "bullshit".  Jason Chambers has been in MMA for years, and Bill Duff was a wrestling champ in college and a former bodyguard.  These guys know all about fighting, and whatever style it was, they could incorporate their backgrounds into it.  Martial arts on the internet is about as bad as talks of pro wrestling...someone is always the "expert".  Each style definitely has merit, and these guys had the balls to try many of them.  Both of these guys were fearless in their training and in the fights they were in.  Whether it was fighting Israeli Commandos in Krav Maga or Russians who studied Sambo, these dudes had no fear in fighting these guys...and that's what this award is all about.

Ok, ready for "Movie of the Year"?  This was a TRUE masterpiece...and that is not some lightweight compliment.  I've seen a crapload of movies this year, and this one was like the "Citizen Kane" of 2007.  Here it is...

Why is this movie THE movie of 2007?  First off, it had Rose McGowan as the lead looking INCREDIBLE...and she later has a machine gun for a leg to kill zombies.  Oh yeah, zombies...any movie with zombies gets my attention....add to that a VERY hot Rose McGowan killing them, Bruce Willis being a badass, and tons of explosions and gunfire and I'm riveted.  This movie is pure escapism...which more movies should be.  There's no "moral" to it, no hidden agenda...none of that.  It's basically a movie about zombies taking over due to a government screw-up, and Rose McGowan looking incredible while killing the flesh-eating zombies.  To describe this movie would drain the vocabulary of superlatives.  Gore, guns, explosions, and a VERY hot chick killing zombies...what more could I possibly ask for in a movie?

And now for CD of the year.  2007 was not the strongest year for new CD's that I gave a crap about.  I did choose to refrain from naming my band's new CD "Volume III - Vociferous" as the CD of the Year because I've done that the last two years with our other releases...haha.  The Donnas came out with "Bitchin", Noisecult had our third release, but this CD was awesome.

Danzig rocks...always has and always will.  This double CD of tracks that never made it to his CD's is incredible.  There's stuff on there that are considered leftovers that completely blow away anything that today's bands are putting out.  Tracks worth listening to are "Warlock", "Bound By Blood", and "Pain is Like An Animal".  Those are my personal favorites, and there are MANY more that kick complete ass.  I mean come on, it's Danzig after all...this guy writes songs that are more timeless to me than anything the Rolling Stones or Led Zeppelin have written.  He honestly should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  Glenn Danzig will NEVER get the credit he deserves for the way he's shaped modern music.  And the fact that he can release what he considers to be "leftover" tracks from all the Danzig CD's and have them all kick an insane amount of ass and blows away the majority of crap being released today  shows what an incredible songwriter he is.  If you like true rock with some thought to it, you have to pick this up.

Now this next award is one that I am MORE than happy to give out.  Rewind back to 1985 when I was a freshman in high school.  Van Halen was on tour for the album "1984" and was going to play Nashville.  I had a chance to go, but as luck would have it, I had a HUGE exam the next day.  My dad told me that there was no way I was going...and then dismissed it by saying "oh it's not like they'll never come back".  Well David Lee Roth left Van Halen, and the next time the band played here it was that bastardized version with Sammy Hagar.  Little did I know it would take over TWENTY YEARS to see the ONLY version of Van Halen to ever tour...meaning with David Lee Roth...and I can't believe I wasn't let down with a wait that spanned a generation.  Man I'm getting old...hahaha.

Yes, the ticket cost me $160, but was worth EVERY FRIGGIN PENNY!  They were flawless...Roth didn't miss a note...Eddie shredded, Alex was beyond solid...and Wolfgang nailed the high harmonies.  They honestly proved that most of today's bands just suck.  I swear, the crowd (which was a sellout at the show I saw...and has pretty much been a sellout on the whole tour) was going nuts to songs that were older than a lot of the people I saw.  Van Halen is timeless...they are truly the greatest American rock band ever...I don't care what anyone says.  Have you ever watched a movie with Tony Jaa?  If you have, that's how much ass Van Halen kicked.  There are good bands, and then there are TIMELESS GREAT bands...Van Halen is definitely the latter...and proved it when I saw them.

And now for one of the most coveted awards - the Babe of the Year award.  I knoww, millions of women anxiously await this to see if they were considered, and believe me when I say that this year was a tough one.  Normally someone catches my eye during the year that I fall in love with from afar and she ends up being the winner.  This year was different.  Now I have to say that many gorgeous women caught my eye...and I credit that to the fact that I'm not emotionally involved with anyone...haha.  For example, I always fall asleep with the TV on tuned into ABC, so when I wake up in the morning my local affiliate has the morning news.  And it just so happens that my alarm goes off at 6:30 which is around the same time the traffic report is coming on...this means that Teresa Weakley is one of the first faces I see in the morning and she is an absolute doll.  And then there's Kimberly Caldwell.  She is STUNNING in every sense of the word.  I first saw her on Glenn Beck's TV show where she would discuss the previous night's episode of "American Idol" since she was once a contestant and now works for the TV Guide Channel.  Then she was cool enough to play herself in "Wrong Turn 2" which is an awesome horror movie starring the one and only Henry Rollins.  She is VERY hot...but sadly is not this year's winner.  The award this year goes to one dark-haired one-legged zombie killing hottie.

If you have ANY doubts of my selection, then you obviously haven't watched the opening scene of "Planet Terror" where Rose plays a go-go dancer.  So the movie starts off with that incredible exhibition, and later on she gets an M-16 as a leg with a grenade launcher on it and turns into a zombie killing machine.  Now come on, if you've read my stuff before then you know how I could give her this award.  Sure, Milla Jovovich is an incredibly hot zombie killer, but does she have a machine gun for one of her legs in any of the "Resident Evil" movies?  No, she doesn't...and that little detail puts Rose a notch above in the babe zombie killer category.  Here's another note that solidified my choice this year...if I ask any guy I know if they saw "Planet Terror", instead of answering a simple "yes" they will always say something to the effect of "man that opening scene was pretty hypnotic".  She's the epitome of a babe, and should be recognized for her babe-ness this year.

Ready for a brand new award this year?  I thought you might be.  Let me be honest...most TV just sucks.  I can't stand CSI or Law and Order or Cold Case or whatever other show wraps up some horrendous crime in an hour.  And as far as sit-coms go, most of them just basically blow.  Plus most of them feel the need to do the "This week, a very special episode where someone learns they have AIDS" or some other socially conscious topic to try and educate us morons since we NEVER keep up with the news.  If I want news, I'll listen to talk radio or check out the various evil right-wing websites I go to.  When I watch TV, I want NOTHING but entertainment, which is why I generally only watch sports or shows about sports, Seinfeld reruns, and South Park.  This year I felt the need to recognize a show that truly understands entertainment, and has for years.  So for the first time ever...here's a new award recognizing excellence in television...

This episode was absolutely brilliant.  To parody George Romero zombie movies to show how annoying it is to be asked for change by homeless people was pure genius.  Oh I know, I'm some cold-hearted bastard because I won't give money to people asking for it, right?  I've said before, I have causes and charities I support, and because of that I am not about to give money to some dude wandering the streets.  Why?  Because working in downtown Nashville has shown me that it's always the exact same people asking for money.  Seriously, for the last couple of years I have literally seen the same people asking for money so they can get gas, catch a bus, whatever.  I'll never forget once when I stopped at a gas station and was going inside.  Some dude asked for money for food.  I told him I'd just buy him something and to come inside to get what he wanted.  Did he accept?  Heck no, he kept saying "oh man, don't go to the trouble, I'll just take the money" so I didn't give him anything.  I get asked at least a couple of times a week going to and from my car to where I work, and I don't give out a dime anymore.  When you see the same people all the time, you know they don't just need a little help to get on their feet.  If they did, they would walk two blocks to the homeless shelter where there are people who volunteer to not only provide food, but to help them get their lives back on track.  The ones wandering the streets that you see all the time, day after day are bums...and this episode of "South Park" reflected that to perfection.  In fact, after I saw this episode, the next day some guy asked for change and I literally started laughing because of watching this episode the night before.  I've seen the same pregnant woman off the exit for 4th Avenue for WELL over a year now...maybe she's not pregnant and is looking for money for booze or drugs?  Hmmm....could be.  This show was nothing but pure genius, and makes some great comedy out of the people who want to stay bums instead of trying to better themselves.  That's why I give money to the causes that help homeless people, and not to the individuals themselves.

And now for the final award...Jackass of the Year.  This one caused more sleepless nights when trying to determine a winner than any of the others.  I thought maybe Michael Vick should get it, but he's already in jail.  Granted he's a complete dumbass for what he did, but he's not out there in the public eye still having an impact on things.  Then I thought maybe Bobby Petrino should get it because of how he screwed over the Atlanta Falcons, but they are WAY better off without that jerk.  This award needs to go to someone who is a complete and total idiot who still has some influence in world event.  Like last year when I gave it to Al Gore, this moron is STILL being heralded as a demi-god because he spouts off a bunch of crap about man-made global warming that has ZERO basis in fact.  But because so many people are sheep and buy into his crap, products are coming out now proclaiming that they buy green energy credits...whatever in the heck that means.  I swear, they might as well tell me that the products were developed while snipe hunting for all I care.  I needed a winner this year that captures the true essence of being a jackass...basically someone who is a complete idiot yet has influence over our daily lives for whatever reason.  Once that bit of criteria hit me, I came up with a tie for this year's winners...

Last year this state had a tax surplus.  This year cigarette taxes were raised to pay for education.  What happened to all that surplus money from last year?  Oh I forgot...it was divided up and given to each representative to use in their area however they saw fit.  Gee, maybe the surplus should have carried over into the budget for this year and used responsibly?  I know, there I go "thinking" again.  Now we also have a state lottery that was supposed to be used for education.  Huh, seems to me that outside of a surplus tax revenue from last year, this lottery should be picking up the slack for education since it's new money coming into the state, right?  Well I guess not since cigarette taxes had to be increased to pay for education.  Wait...wait...wait...smoking has now been banned in all restaurants and bars that aren't 21 & over which our state government hopes will lead to less people smoking...at least that was their rationale.  After all, they care a lot about our health.  But didn't they base the extra money they needed for education on the higher cigarette taxes?  Doesn't that mean if more people quit smoking or don't smoke as much that the state  won't get the tax revenues it needs?  And our governor wants to build a $21 million underground banquet hall at the governor's mansion that will supposedly benefit all Tennesseans...because I'm sure my life will be SO much better once it's built.  Where is this $21 million going to come from?  Huh, can you smell the odor in the air of a state income tax?  I can.  You truly wonder what the heck is going on.  It wasn't that long ago the Tennessee Waltz sting went down here where many state legislators were busted for taking bribes.  I know corruption is RAMPANT on all forms of government...but when I see how incompetent people are with my friggin money they take from me, I have to wonder if something else is going on or are they really just all that stupid?  Either way it's ridiculous.  But hey, at least The Predators are staying here for a few more years and I'm sure no state money is going into that *cough* bullshit *cough*.  If I was as irresponsible in my budgeting and spending like this state is, I'd be wandering the streets asking for change.

That's it sportsfans...the big winners for 2007.  Have a safe and happy New Year!