New to the Rum & coke Buzz Awards?  Well here's how it all began.  A few years back I ran a website for TNA wrestling, and I got SO sick of other wrestling websites doing these "serious" end of the year awards for crap like match of the year, wrestler of the year, blah blah blah.  These guys acted like because they had a pro wrestling website that somehow their opinions were filled with merit.  So when it came to the end of the first year I did my site, I went a different route and gave end of the year awards to hot women, cool actors, great movies, and stuff like that because I am about the last person to take myself seriously with some stupid internet end of the year award.  Anyway, I've kept it going for a few years and now it's time to do it again.  The categories have basically stayed the same since the original one, and these include Lifetime Achievement Award, Man of the Year, Movie of the Year, Babe of the Year, and whatever else I feel deserves an "of the year" award.  So sit back with your favorite beverage and let's get things rolling for this year....

Oh, and remember my birthday is January 5th, so be prepared to send me MANY well-wishes and everything.  If you want to send money or a gift, just contact me and I'm sure I can arrange it...haha.  Ok, and now to the awards....

First up is the Lifetime Achievement Award.  In the past, people such as Kurt Russell, John Carpenter, Henry Rollins, and Glenn Danzig won this coveted prize.  This year the award goes to -

Honestly this was an easy choice.  Once I knew the movie "Rocky Balboa" was coming out this year, and knowing that Rocky movies have pretty much consumed my life, the only way he couldn't win was if the movie sucked.  Well, if you read last week, the movie was incredible.  Plus, there is no other actor that has starred in two successful movie franchises, did you know that?  Yep, Rocky and Rambo...no other actor has ever done it.  Plus, with all the friggin morons in Hollywood who feel they are SO above us and have to constantly educate us on global warming, the war, and blah blah blah, it's nice to see a guy who plays a man's man role and doesn't spend his free time trying to "educate" us serfs as to what's going on in the world like Ben Affleck or Alec Baldwin or George Clooney, and the list goes on and on.  Stallone is a guy that will easily poke fun at himself for taking crappy roles in horrible movies, and then will sound like I would (meaning close to geek-dom) when a really cool role comes up.  If you haven't seen "Rocky Balboa", you should.  Stallone proved so many people wrong with this movie.  Rocky is honestly one of the greatest movie characters of all time.  And then there's John Rambo.  Here's a trivia bit - originally Steve McQueen was supposed to play Rambo but he turned it down because he was battling lung cancer.  As much as I love Steve McQueen, I can honestly say the Rambo character wouldn't have been as cool if Stallone didn't play him.  Watch "First Blood" again...it's not just some generic action movie...Stallone really shows how damn good of an actor he is in it.  Rocky and Rambo...and one guy pulled it off.  Yes, a very deserving award.

Next is the "Man of the Year" award.  Now I know you might be thinking "Gee Bo, could you be a little more self-serving?"...but here you go:

Yeah, I gave this award to myself, so what.  Hey...name someone else who is the lead singer of a kickass metal band who ALSO ran for the U.S. Senate...I'm looking for the show of hands...huh...no one?  That's what I thought.  I busted my ass over the last year in the Senate race while recording 2 AWESOME metal CD's, and rocked out at some very cool gigs.  If anyone else can boast the same then I will give them this award...but I know no one else did.  Plus, most guys dream of the life I have.  I'm the lead singer of a metal band, watch football on a big screen hi-def TV, have two great dogs, my own house, and even date some hot women from time to time.  Sure, I probably sound full of myself, but if I don't give me props then who will?  Hahahaha.  Also, name me a political candidate who had the guts to say we should have flattened the middle east after 9/11 when they're doing a radio interview.  Huh...can't think of anyone else but me.  This past year while running for the Senate, I did many interviews and said some VERY politically incorrect things with no care as to how it would be perceived.  I don't give a crap what anyone thinks about my opinions...I believe what I believe and value what I value and have no problem saying it.  Am I sappy, sentimental, and even a little sensitive at times?  Sure...but I also know that one great rock show can change the world...hahaha.  You know, I could EASILY go on and on about why I deserve this award, but if you read my blog each week then you can't deny why I should win...hahaha...yeah...hard to be humble, eh?

Up next is a VERY prestigious award...the award for "Live Gig of the Year".  Oh I know, you're probably thinking I'm going to name some NoiseCult gig to stroke my ego...how wrong you are.  I saw a truly GREAT rock show this year, and the award goes to -

Seeing Alice Cooper at The Ryman here in Nashville a few months back was unreal.  This guy, and his band, really put on a clinic as to have a kickass rock show.  It was a full-on production.  Not only did the music rock beyond belief, but the stage show was honestly like watching some Broadway musical.  One thing I love about Alice Cooper is that he treats shows for exactly what they are - shows.  He knows that the songs are nothing more than 4 minute slices of entertainment, and when a bunch of them are put together for a live gig, they can create a good time.  He takes himself seriously enough to make sure that the shows are kickass, but doesn't waste anyone's time with "messages" or bs political rants.  It was just so cool to see a great rock personality backed up by a great band (even though the bass player didn't down-pick the whole time...hahaha) and just truly be entertained.  It was just a great show...and for a while I was able to escape from the doldrums of life for a little while.  The guy is in his 60's and blew away pretty much everyone around here.  The guy is a showman, and his band rocked.

The next award will probably be pretty easy to guess what won before I even announce it.  This is for "Movie of the Year".  Is there any surprise?

Let me say this - if you read my blog then you know I hate going to the theater.  Well, I have already seen this movie twice is less than a week, and that's unheard of.  Originally I was going to name "United 93" as the winner (Seriously, like anyone gives a crap...it's all just my opinion), but after watching this a thought hit me.  "United 93" is an incredible film and I think everyone should watch it.  But then I thought back to last year when I gave "Cinderella Man" and "The Great Raid" the award.  My point is that "Rocky Balboa" leaves you with a positive feeling...it's a story of triumph like last year's winners.  "United 93" made me want to dive into the screen and be the guy who smashes one of those cockroaches' faces in.  I loved it, but after watching "Rocky Balboa" I felt inspired...like I could make some kind of positive impact with my life.  Yeah, I know, sappy as heck, but individual stories of triumph always sucker me in...especially Rocky.  One of my favorite scenes is when he's telling his son about success...he's telling him that people who fail that want to point fingers and blame this person or that person are cowards.  He also told him that life will beat you down if you let it, and that's it's not about how hard you get hit but about pushing forward after you get hit.  Stallone nailed it in this movie.  And if you don't find yourself choking back a tear while watching this, I really feel sorry for you, the movie is exactly what the character of Rocky Balboa is all about - heart.  It may not have some intricate plot with twists and turns or mind-blowing special effects, but it's got one helluva story to it with an awesome character.  Plus, I mentioned before that the boxing was real...they were really hitting each other pretty hard...and while watching it a second time I really paid more attention to that detail.  Wow...mind-blowing how good that match looked.  This is by far one of the best movies I have seen in years, and I could actually go see it a third time and not be bored.

And now back to my ego stroking.  It's time for CD of the year.  Honestly there wasn't much that blew me away this year at all.  Yes, Black Label Society had a pretty good new one, and Voivod had a good release as well.  But I have to give the award to -

Most CD's I buy have a couple of songs I end up skipping over after a few listens, but this one honestly doesn't.  Like one review of it stated, this CD has almost a different sound and style with each song...and don't forget about the review that said my voice was pure rock...hahaha.  Songs have been compared to sounding like Black Sabbath, Motorhead, good and angry punk, Rollins Band, and even old-school thrash.  It's quite a mix for any CD, and I'm proud as heck of it.  A review said that for fun, get your buddies and some beer, put the CD in, and debate about which song reminds you of what band and revel in the nostalgic trip.  But even in that review, the guy never said "this is a rip-off of so-and-so" except for the 30 second intro track which really wasn't a song.  He would name two or three bands each song reminded him of.  Like I said, a good mix of sounds.  And one thing I've really been working on is my vocal sound.  I'm no singer, that's for sure, but I try to yell in some kind of pitch.  After I read a review that said my voice was a cross of Glenn Danzig and Gene Simmons, I was pretty confident I was doing something right and sounded unique, because that's quite a blend of sounds.  Remember, you can always go to www.myspace.com/noisecult for some tunes and www.noisecult.com for some videos!

And now we come to the two most important awards.  First, the 2006 Babe Of The Year.  This was a VERY difficult choice for me this year.  Yes, I could have stuck with last year's winner, Jill Wagner, because she's pretty close to being a goddess, but I felt that was taking the easy way out.  I needed to find another woman who radiates that "wow" factor.  Well, after a lot of thought and soul-searching, I found a winner.

I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but this woman really does it for me.  First, she is a woman, not some bimbo sorority chick.  Second, she has this mix of sexiness and girl next door that drives me nuts.  She strikes me as a positive person that also doesn't sit around thinking about how hot she is, unlike Eva Longoria (I can't stand her).  One of my biggest turn-offs is when a girl thinks she's hot.  Even if she is, it's just a giant turnoff when they act like they know they are.  Whenever I go grocery shopping, there are a lot of hot women around...I guess it's the location.  Anyway, I always see Rachael's pictures on various cookbooks at the store along with pictures on boxes of Wheat Thins and stuff like that.  That smiling face is everywhere as I stroll up and down the aisles.  See, when I watch "Gilligan's Island", I know Ginger is supposed to be the sexpot, but Mary Ann was my girl.  Why?  She was this really hot woman with that "girl next door" quality, plus she could cook and enjoyed doing it.  Come on guys, how many of us would love to come home from work and see this in the kitchen preparing us a great meal -

Ok, and now we come to the final award of the year - Jackass Of The Year.  I made a HUGE mistake last year giving it to Paul Walker.  I thought the guy was a worse actor than Keanu Reeves, but when "Running Scared" came out, I was completely wrong.  This year I did more research and put more thought into it so I wouldn't repeat the same mistake.  So after many sleepless nights pondering this, I came up with a winner...one I KNOW I won't have to change my mind about.  So, without further adieu, this year's winner is -

If there is one person besides Michael Moore that just disgusts me when I see them, it's Al Gore.  He is one of THE most self-righteous condescending jerks I have ever heard in my life.  That's why when South Park did the episode where Al is warning everyone about manbearpig (pictured above), I was laughing so hard I was about to cry.  If you didn't see it, shame on you, it's HILARIOUS.  The show just completely ripped on this pompous jerk for the entire episode, and then even made fun of him for making a movie.  Oh yeah, his movie - "An Inconvenient Truth".  What the heck ever.  I'm SO sick of hearing about global warming, and then Al comes out with this movie showing what a crisis it is.  What cracks me up is that in a speech he gave back in the early 90's (when global warming started to become a fad), he said that we basically had about 15 years before we were doomed.  So now 15 years later he comes out with a movie saying how in 20 years we're doomed.  So which is it?  Basically this guy has NOTHING he can stand on...he has no concept of foreign policy or a basic understanding of the Constitution, so he has to hook on to the buzz term of "global warming" and act like Paul Revere warning us that the British are coming.  And he does this while flying around in his private plane...don't you love a good hypocrite?  Two things he has said really crack me up.  First he has talked about all the glaciers melting and causing the oceans to rise and makes it seem like in a few years you might as well call this country Atlantis because we'll all be underwater.  Do this tonight - take a glass of water and put some ice iin it.  When you get up in the morning and the ice has melted, is the water all of the sudden pouring out of the glass?  No, it isn't.  The solid has now changed to a liquid yet still occupies the same space.  That's basic science I learned in grade school, yet Al is heralded as some sort of friggin intellectual.  Another deals with hurricanes.  Remember all the hurricanes last year and people like Al screaming about they were a result of global warming?  And then this year there aren't anywhere NEAR the number of hurricanes...but don't worry because Al can explain that too - global warming.  Yep, we have too many hurricanes because of global warming and then we don't have many because of global warming and the infamous "shifting weather patterns".  What an IDIOT!  Sure, temperatures may be on the rise, but back in the 70's they were on the decline and a Newsweek article quoted leading scientists saying we were heading towards another ice age.  The truth is, no one really knows, and when some self-righteous jerk like Al Gore starts telling me I'm destroying the planet when he himself loves his own plane and limo and huge house that burns more electricity than I could conceive of using, he deserves a pop in the mouth.  Al needs to stick to hunting for manbearpig...he would be just as useful.  And another thing, if Al thought the election in 2000 was "stolen", why didn't he run again in 2004 to prove to everyone he should have won?  Huh...could it be he knew deep down he really lost?  Yeah, I kinda think so.  I'll be so happy when a day comes where he and Bill Clinton are no longer news items...both are just despicable scumbags.

Well there you go, another year in the books.  Yes, these awards are very important...hahaha.  Don't you love these websites that come out with year end awards like anyone really gives a crap?  I do it because I have the time...I don't honestly think people are debating the merits of my choices...they are all just one man's opinion.  However, I do place importance on the Man of the Year for this year considering I won it...hahaha.

Stay tuned sportsfans...2007 already has some BIG news I'll talk about next time.  Hope everyone has a very safe and happy New Year.  And now back to Slugfest 2K6 playing "Marvel - Ultimate Alliance" on the Xbox 360.

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