I'm sure my adoring public has been wondering when the next installment of the Buzz was going up...so have no fear...for I am here.  So why the extended break?  I know, I usually get the thing up on Thursday nights or Friday at the latest...but seeing how Slugfest 2K5 was in full effect, the desire to type just wasn't there...plus there's not a whole lot of cool stories to tell when one just lives on the couch for about a week watching movies, eating, and playing video games.  Speaking of games, I have been trying for a friggin week off and on to get past a level on both "Ace Combat 05" and "Ghost Recon 2"...it's infuriating!!!  In Ace Combat there's this plane I have to shoot down but the thing has a laser that fires to the rear and blows me up almost instantly...I even tried all the tips people have posted...I just can't blow the stupid thing up.  On Ghost Recon there's this stupid North Korean tank that keeps the other members of my team pinned down since I'm the only one with any anti-tank weapons, and as soon as I get into firing rang BAM....I get blown up.  I will defeat it somehow...somehow...  Anyway that's pretty much been my week as one of the ranks of the jobless.  However it's all changed now...I got a job offer last Friday that I took...so this Thursday I enter back into corporate America.  Remember last time when I talked about keeping the faith?  That's what I did...I didn't worry...and everything turned out fine, thank God.  So I still have three full days off and I plan on enjoying them quite a bit.  However I know there will be things I miss about having the time off....I've been rolling out of bed at about 11 every day and staying up until around 2 or 3 in the morning watching concert DVD's or movies or whatever...and I must say...there is nothing like watching all 4 hours of "The Ten Commandments" while eating a half-gallon of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.  What a movie.  I've seen bits and pieces of it before, but never sat through the whole thing.  Yul Brynner is one cool dude...and when he would say something and start to walk out of the room...then he would stop and turn back to everyone and point while saying "so it is written...so it shall be done" was just beyond cool.  You know what?  I wish fat ass Michael Moore had accosted Charlton Heston back in the day instead of waiting until he's old...if he had Heston would have kicked his ass without even blinking.  Serious, who in their right mind would challenge Ben Hur, Moses, and Taylor from "Planet of the Apes" in his prime?  No one with any sense to them...that's for sure.  If Michael Moore can get out there and do the chariot scene from "Ben Hur" as Charlton Heston did, then maybe he would stand a chance...but Moore would be too busy sitting in the stands waiting for the hot dog and cotton candy guy to make the rounds while the race is going on...plus it would take a team of about 12 horses to pull his fat ass around anyway.  Of course with all the pizza and ice cream I've eaten over the last week, maybe I should shut up about that...hahahaha.

Oh check this...I finally feel like I hit the semi-big time.  My band, NoiseCult, FINALLY got our DVD's back from the place that was doing the packaging.  When Chris (our singer) brought them into practice the other night, I just sat there looking at them like "wow".  There it was...a pro shot DVD in actual packaging that I am on.  That, stickers, and t-shirts will be up on the site very soon (www.noisecult.com) along with a complete overhaul of the website.  In fact, next weekend we'll be in the studio for MANY hours finishing up our first full-length CD....I just can't wait to get out there and start playing again.

Ah yes...Spring is in the air...you know how I know?  Skin...and lots of it.  I couldn't help but notice over this past weekend as Nashville hit the near 80 degree mark that a lot of women have been waiting for this time to show off all the hard work they put in over the winter.  So how did I handle this?  I ignored them completely...hahaha.  Seriously, my life is now returning to some sense of normalcy with a new job and everything...I don't need to destroy it.  How do I know?  I had a wonderful confirmation of why to NOT date anyone this past Friday at the video store.  I go in and rent "The Toolbox Murders" because I had heard it was pretty cool...and while I'm in there a married couple is also in there with two little kids.  While I was checking to see if there was anything else in there, the two kids were yelling about wanting this and that...and meanwhile Jill Housewife's cell phone kept ringing.  Johnny Husband said "who keeps calling?" and she tells him "oh now it's so and so...I mean we just got back into town and everyone is already calling...it just never ends!".  All this while the crusty faced kids with runny noses so their faces looked like glazed donuts are crying about what movie they want...and then one starts REALLY crying because some box of a movie scared him.  So now Johnny has to take the kid out of the store and I get stuck in line behind Jill.  While she's trying to pay for a couple of movies, the other kid she got stuck with keeps running and grabbing movies going "can we get this too?" and of course she REPEATEDLY explains "no...we already got one for you" and he starts going "but I want this one TOO!!!!" and then her phone rings and it's Johnny who is out in the car to remind her of what movie the other kid wanted and she's trying to talk to him and I'm sure the kid in the car is screaming over the box that scared him and the other kid keeps grabbing boxes and she would tell him to put it back and then she can't find her card because the kid keeps bringing boxes up and she's talking to Johnny in the parking lot with the other screaming kid and I swear I had never been so thankful to get out of a store in my life.  I mean I wasn't even the one with the kids and stuff and yet I was the one who was about to lose my mind and grab that kid by the arm and go "SHE SAID NO!!!  NOW PUT IT BACK AND SHUT UP!!!!" and then I wanted to grab her cell phone and scream "SHE HAS THE FRIGGIN MOVIES NOW LET HER PAY FOR THEM SO SHE CAN GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!!".  Man I was about to lose it.  But of course, it could just be a lack of discipline on their part.  See when I was a kid, if I had acted like the one kid with his mom in the video store, my mom would have shut me up REAL quick with "if you don't cut it out I'm going to tell your father how you acted".  I truly think that is the one thing that is lacking more then anything in this country...that fear children have of their parents killing them.  Now I'm not saying my parents would have actually killed me or beat me senseless or anything, but I was never quite sure, you know?  And it's that unknown that kept me in line on many an occasion.  I think you've done a helluva job as a dad if your kids are more afraid of you then the cops...seriously.  Again, I'm not talking about child abuse or anything like that at all...but when a father has that kind of fearful respect from his kids, then he's done a damn fine job.  I don't think my parents have any idea of the stuff I didn't do out of fear of them finding out.  I'll never forget when I got in trouble with the cops about 30 minutes into my 18th birthday at 12:30 in the morning and my first question was "are you gonna have to call my parents?".  I was more afraid of facing them then the police.  Why?  I honestly really can't put my finger on it.  But I knew I would have felt like the biggest failure in life for my parents to get a phone call from the cops about anything I did.  Oh, and just so you know, I talked my way out of the cop problem...hahahaha...damn I'm smooth.  Our drummer Kelly has this thing he calls "the disappointed father look" that I do.  When he first started jamming with us...heck even now during practice...when he screws something up I'll look at him until we make eye contact and then I'll purse my lips and look off somewhere else while shaking my head.  He knows exactly what that look means so we laugh about it quite a bit...but I remember getting that look at times and feeling beyond horrible.  It wasn't the fact that I screwed up...but it was the fact that my dad gave me a look of "I have failed as a father because you're such a screw-up" is what would get to me.  See, good dads have that way of breaking you down.

For example, I'm a little kid and we're at the store and I keep asking for this or that and whining about who knows what...what does my dad do?  He gives me the "serious dad look"...that look where the eyes just burn into you and the rest of the face just reeks of frustration.  It's at moments like those that you think the life you have had is over.  Yep, you really hope you have made the most out of those 8 or 10 years you have been on planet earth because it's all over now.  But because you're in public, dad can't just go off right then so you get to dwell on it.  You get to spend who knows how much time walking through this store with him knowing once you're in the privacy of your own home that death will soon follow.  So you walk around in silence the rest of the time in the store hoping that maybe your good behavior will warrant a reprieve on the death sentence.  Well guess what, that's exactly the effect the dad wants.  Because what would usually happen is I would be a model citizen the rest of the time and we'd get some ice cream on the way home or something.  Even though I got something cool...I was broken down.  Now the stopping for ice cream wasn't all the time because then you can just con dad into it...screw up...get the "dad" look...act ok...get ice cream.  Sometimes the drive home would be in silence just to make sure I wasn't lulled into a false sense of complacency...that has to be done because then you never know what the outcome will be....which is a beautiful way to keep the rugrats in line.  Again, before anyone thinks I was an abused child or anything like that, I wasn't.  I'm just saying that the key to parenting is not screaming at your kids or anything like that at all...it's all about getting them feeling bad because they made YOU feel bad...at least that's what I think...and also thinking that they might kill you even though they never would...hahahaha.  And it's also about not spoiling them to death too...because kids do need to learn they can't have everything and there are some things in life they will have to work for.  But going back to the original story...if Johnny Husband knew the "dad" look...none of that other stuff would have ever happened...the kids screamed and got their movies so what did they learn?  Nothing.  I had times where I would throw a fit as a kid and whatever I was going to get all of the sudden became something I wasn't going to get...and I would be told that if I had acted better then maybe I wouldn't have lost out.

Wow...ok...didn't mean to get on all that.  My point was that I'm still keeping the blinders on during the skin season...it has to be this way.  For instance, with the time off I've been on the internet a lot while at home and started reading some stupid article on the women of "Desperate Housewives"...you know the show where a bunch of 40 year old women try to replay "Sex In The City".  Yeah, amazing what you can start checking out with a bunch of free time.  Anyway, the article was talking about all the bitching that went on during a recent photo shoot which I found humorous.  I mentioned to someone that I thought Eva Longoria was the one I thought was the hottest...but not anymore.  No, I have one person I can count on to show me the shortcomings of any of the celebrity women I say might be hot, so I was told one little tidbit about her that has now truly turned me off.  Eva said - " I dated a guy who was into video games, and I wanted to shoot myself".  Well forget her then.  Hey Eva, you know what?  I bet maybe if you had been able to keep him a little busier maybe he wouldn't have spent so much time on the video games.  But of course with me there is not only the video games, there's the horror movies, football, and heavy metal...no woman will tame me...NONE!  Yes, I will remain a role model for all guys out there because we sorely lack one in today's world.

Enough for this week...I have some video games to play and I can take comfort in the fact that someone who guys desire like Eva Longoria would be just SO pissed off by that.....GOOD!  I will come to you next from the world of being a corporate Joe.  Until then...