I grew up watching pro wrestling.  Yes, I know its fake and everything, but watching these epic struggles of good versus evil drew me in every Saturday afternoon.  And as I got older, I still would watch it, because me and my friends had a lot of fun getting together and seeing storylines unfold every week.  I could honestly go on and on about my former love for pro wrestling, but I won't...I'll get to the point.  I'm sure by now you've heard about WWE wrestler Chris Benoit killing his wife and son, then hanging himself.  Chris Benoit was not some wrestler who worked county fairs or performed in high school gyms to toothless rednecks, he was one of the major stars in the business.  Again, I could go on about his career, but I won't.  What he did is just another reason as to why this former life-long pro wrestling fan doesn't watch it anymore.

I remember back in 2002 when a new promotion started called NWA TNA, and they were based right in my backyard.  I couldn't have been happier.  They had a weekly show on pay-per-view, and there was a lot of buzz about another promotion bringing some competition to the WWE.  Me and a friend of mine, Greg, decided to start a website to cover it.  For a couple of years we had THE most popular NWA TNA website.  By running this, we got a lot of backstage access, did a lot of interviews for the site, got to know some of the guys, and from time to time would hang out at various bars and restaurants after the shows when invited.  Some extremely big names were involved in this company, and I got to meet, talk to, and interview many of them.  During this time I met a few really good people, however I also met a lot of complete scumbags.  For example, several of the married wrestlers made hooking up with a "ring rat" their top priority after a show.  There were also MANY rumors about certain wrestlers getting big matches after having a one night stand with one of the promoters...and that promoter was a guy whose behavior was no secret.  And then of course there was the drug use.  Now, I do have to say I never personally witnessed any at all, but there were some strong rumors about a certain person affiliated with the company at that time who would take care of whatever someone might need.  I heard about all this when two wrestlers died of overdoses shortly after signing on with this company.  One was named Malice, also known as The Wall in WCW, and the other was Mad Mikey, who was known as Crash Holly in the WWE.  Both of these guys had gone through rehab and were supposedly clean, but within a couple of months after signing on with this company they both died of an overdose.  But an overdose isn't just affiliated with wrestlers of TNA...Rick Rude, Brian Pillman, Sherri Martell, Miss Elizabeth, the list goes on and on.  And how about the numbers of pro wrestlers who die from heart attacks in their 40's?  There was Curt Hennig (Mr. Perfect), Road Warrior Hawk, and Eddie Guerrero just to name a couple.  The heart attacks are usually attributed to steroid use.  Yes, I know its hard to believe, but MANY pro wrestlers use steroids.  In fact, one wrestler I didn't even think used them in TNA did.  I won't say who, but I knew his girlfriend, and after she left the guy, we kept in touch via email (yes, we were just acquaintances, nothing more).  She told me stories of his roid rages...which led to her leaving him.  And it turns out that steroids were found at Chris Benoit's home...as if it was a surprise he was taking them.  People just don't get that muscular without some assistance.  But again, I could go on and on with behind-the-scenes stories about NWA TNA....yet I won't.  I don't want to air someone else's garbage, which is why I won't name names.  This is just a brief summation as to why I don't watch pro wrestling anymore...I couldn't sit there and enjoy something knowing how seedy and corrupt everything is behind the scenes.  Sure, there were a few I got to know a little who were really solid individuals like AJ Styles and Sonny Siaki, but I think most of the guys are complete scumbags.  Am I being judgmental?  Hey, I just call it like I see it.  Sure, there are a lot of scumbags in rock and metal bands as well, along with people in football and boxing, but since I'm not "behind the scenes" in those realms, it doesn't affect me as much.  Plus, when you compare guys in rock and metal bands who died young to the number of pro wrestlers, the musicians kind of pale in comparison.  I'm sure there may be a lot from local scenes and so forth, but I think you get my point.  I'm not saying its ok by any means, I'm just saying.

I remember one wrestler who quit steroids and drugs was telling me how he got started on it.  The steroids were because a pro wrestler, if he wants to make any serious money, usually has to have a pretty good physique.  There are exceptions, but that's pretty much the way it is.  Then there's the unreal schedule they have to keep.  They have almost no time to recover from various bumps, bruises, and pains, so painkillers enter their lives and before they know it, they're hooked.  Missing a show means missing a paycheck, and possibly means being written out of a storyline.  This guy wrestled for WWE, WCW, and ECW, so he knew what he was talking about.  And it was through him I learned how pro wrestling really worked.  The wrestlers aren't really employees.  Sure, they work for whatever promotion, but their pay is solely based on how big the match is that they are involved in.  Well, you could imagine what this leads to.  You get a bunch of guys all wanting to be a superstar and make the big bucks, and back-stabbing is not an uncommon thing.  So there's just a little bit on why I refuse to give any money to a business that just seems completely morally bankrupt.  Think about it, I was a die-hard lifelong fan and witnessed enough to make me never want to really watch it again...that should say something.

Now on to Chris Benoit.  What amazes me is that I've been going to some pro wrestling forum sites over the last few days because this story intrigues me beyond belief.  Remember, I studied a lot of criminal psychology in college, and stuff like this catches my attention...especially when it involves such a known figure.  While many people have been discussing this on the forums, I really don't see much outrage over what Benoit did.  In fact, I've seen a lot of "Let's just remember how much Chris Benoit entertained us" kind of crap!  Oh spare me...so Chris Benoit's horrible actions should just be glossed over because he brought some joy to people?  Ted Bundy worked a suicide prevention hotline...so should I just forget he brutally killed a bunch of women?  John Wayne Gacy was considered an upstanding member of his community, helping out with the local chamber of commerce, so should I just overlook the bodies buried in his crawlspace?  Give me a break.  How in the hell can someone just overlook the fact he killed his wife and seven year old son???  I honestly feel no pity for the fact he hung himself...I really don't.  Yes, that may be horrible of me...but it's how I feel.  I only feel bad for his extended family having to deal with this.  I think suicide is the ULTIMATE act of cowardice and selfishness.  But this was more than just a suicide...Benoit killed his wife and child as well.  So the question is why?  Why did he do all this?  We may never know, but the news is filled with the fact that steroids were found at his house...which should be no surprise.  And of course when this hit, the WWE was VERY quick to release a statement saying how people shouldn't jump to the conclusion that steroids had anything to do with it.  Gee...now that took me by surprise CONSIDERING JUST ABOUT EVERY PRO WRESTLER ON THEIR ROSTER TAKES STEROIDS!  Oh yeah, they can't have the substance that makes their wrestlers look how they do be blamed for this...whatever.  I've studied and done weight training off and on for a good number of years.  I know for a fact that people don't get as big as the average pro wrestler without a little help.  The biggest evidence of this is when I would see someone that would wrestle for another promotion get signed to the WWE.  Their first appearance on WWE would make them look like they had done intensive weight training for 10 years.  Of course the WWE is going to try and say steroids had nothing to do with this...that's like a smoker saying that cigarettes had nothing to do with him getting lung cancer.  Steroids make people insane beyond just the bits of roid rage.  Again, I've studied a lot of psychology and have a good grasp on how things affect people...so I can say with confidence that when someone chooses to inject massive amounts of hormones into their bodies, it will have a permanent affect on their behavior.  And if that is coupled with other things like painkillers...that's a recipe for disaster.

I really don't know if I made a point in all of this or not.  Basically I think that the "business" of pro wrestling is about as bad as the porn industry as far as morality goes...and it's because of the greed it creates stuff like what Benoit did happens.  These guys get wrapped up in a "business" where you have to do everything to stay on top...and if that means living off of steroids and painkillers then so be it.  I don't say that to excuse what Chris Benoit did at all.  I was a big fan of his for many years, but now his name just disgusts me.  He made his own decisions to go down that road, and I truly hope that other pro wrestlers will see what happened and re-evaluate what they are doing with their lives.  But let's just remember, like the WWE said, steroids probably had nothing to do with this.  Right....