People really need to lighten up.  Can you believe I got some messages over the last week about what a horrible person I was wasting resources on Earth Day?  Yeah...unreal.  If someone couldn't tell that all the stuff I wrote last week was a big joke, then I really feel sorry for them.  So of course I had to play it up in my responses.  I would tell them things like "it's just been so unusually cool this month I wanted to speed up the global warming because I'm ready for warm weather".  Then there was my personal favorite - "Well, the whole thing was a joke, but sseeing how someone was ignorant enough to actually believe it, I'm actually going to do all those things now because I don't want to be called a liar".  Now what really broke my heart was when I went to the myspace site for The Donnas.  I saw in a bulletin that they have some new live DVD bootleg you can order, so I went to the site to get one.  On their page they had talk about the need to watch Al Gore's stupid movie and blah blah blah.  It killed me.  My dream world was shattered.  Here's a band with some VERY hot women in it who rock harder than a lot of guy bands, and they have succumbed to the preachings of Al Gore.  Sigh...I guess I can cross off Allison and Torrie from my list.  It's such a shame, it really is.  Hopefully Jill Wagner hasn't bought into all the bs, because if she has, I'm going to have to waste a lot of time looking for a new dream girl...haha.  This is just another wonderful example of why I hate it when entertainers feel the need to lead the charge for a cause.  Sure, you could say it's great they use their celebrity status to help spread a message, but so many of them waste their time spreading the wrong message.  Now personally, I really don't care what this band or this actor thinks about politics and world affairs, I really don't...and I don't want to know because most of the time it just makes me cringe.  This is why Elvis was the King.  I think I've mentioned this before, but he gave the response I wish ALL entertainers would give when asked about current events.  Just because someone has a hit song or was in a movie doesn't all of the sudden make them some expert on foreign policy.  Oh I know, hard to believe considering how they act.  Unlike a lot of entertainers today, Elvis actually served in the military, like a lot of the old-school guys did.  Steve McQueen was a Marine, Charles Bronson was a tail-gunner in WWII,  Lee Marvin fought in WWII, even Kris Kristofferson was a complete badass.  Yeah, did you know that?  Kristofferson was in the Special Forces in Vietnam, went to West Point, and if my memory serves me correctly he won the Distinguished Flying Cross as a helicopter pilot.  That's why when I see someone like Ben Affleck or Sean Penn speaking out against the war, it just disgusts me, because they haven't done SQUAT.  Anyway, back to Elvis.  He was doing a press conference about his upcoming series of shows in Las Vegas, and some woman reporter asked him what his thoughts on the Vietnam War were.  Did he use his celebrity status to launch into a rant about how evil it was and how we shouldn't be there or anything close to it?  Nope...instead he gave the best answer he could have.  He said "Ma'am, I'm just an entertainer and my opinion on that really doesn't matter" and then moved on to the next question.  Oh if only today's batch of entertainers would take a page from the King's book.  But enough on this.  Oh, and just so you know, I did order the DVD of The Donna's...hahaha.  It's actually pretty good too for a bootleg.  Their opinions might be skewed, but a couple of them are hot and they rock, so I caved.

Guess what May 1st is?  It's my little buddy's birthday!  Yep, my faithful companion will be 4 years old which blows my mind that I've had Vick that long.  Seems like yesterday I brought him home from the breeder and could carry him with one hand...this is where the song "Memories" kicks in...hahaha.  So this weekend I decided I'd take some time from my busy schedule and take my two kids to the dog park.  It cracks me up when I'm getting ready to take them.  I'll pop my trunk to get the blue blanket out that I use to cover the backseat to cut down on the hair and also just in case one of them has an accident, and they're watching my through the gate and start freaking out because they know they get to take a trip.  I'll go into the garage to get their leashes on and they can barely contain themselves...it cracks me up.  I remember telling this girl I work with about going to the dog park and she was asking me who I went with.  I told her it was just me and the dogs, and for some reason she thought it was strange I would go by myself.  I tried explaining that I wasn't going by myself, I had my best-buddy Vick and my little girl Jessi, but she didn't get it.  While I was at the park today, I went to throw a cigarette away.  Now if it was Earth Day I would have just thrown the butt on the ground, but since it wasn't, I walked to one of the trash cans to extinguish it and throw it away.  When I was walking away from all the dogs, Vick and Jessi walked right next to me.  So yeah, I wasn't there by myself...I have the two best companions I could ask for.  As a quick aside, I swear it was like being at The Lillith Fair when I went.  There were SO many butch flat-top sleeveless flannel shirt fat women there it was hilarious.  You know what I don't get?  Why is it that gay men who are outspoken about gay rights are more feminine and prissy than just about any woman I ever see?  And why is it that a lot of lesbians all have the same look and image?  And I'm supposed to believe they're born that way...riiiight...lloks like an image choice to me.  Did I offend someone?  Too bad, get over it.  Oh, my point in all this.  You know what amazes me?  I can't believe how few people at the dog park know how to control their dog.  For example, I watched as this one girl tried to get her dog who was wrestling around in a pack of dogs so she could hook up the leash and leave.  The whole time she's like "Now Sunny, come here girl...come here Sunny...hold still girl..." and the dog is acting like some kid with A.D.D. who has eaten a box of Pixie Sticks.  It took her quite a bit of time to get her dog.  I take after my dad when it comes to dogs.  We had dogs when I was growing up, and I was always amazed at how my dad could command the dog because I couldn't...but now I know.  Now it's no secret I love my dogs to death, but at the same time they know I'm the boss.  Granted they don't obey my every command, but as far as control goes, they know who's in charge.  For example, there was a dude there today who's dog kept getting into fights...and this was to a point where a couple of guys cussed him out to put the dog on a leash.  He couldn't get the dog to stop going after some of the others.  With me...I was sitting on a bench and saw Jessi staring a dog down.  Now Jessi may only be about 60 pounds, but she is fearless.  Well dogs don't dig being stared at like that, so I got up and walked over to her.  The other dog turned and snapped at her, and she snapped right back.  What did I do?  Did I go "now Jessi, stop it...don't do that"...no.  What I did was grab her by the back of her neck and hold her to the ground for a second while yelling "JESSI...NO!!!"  Guess what...she stopped.  If you don't learn to be in control of your dog, that dog will control you...plain and simple.  Yes, Vick could rip my throat out if he wanted to seeing how he's a 110 pound German Shepherd, but he won't because he knows I'm in charge...plus he's my buddy...haha.  Now what REALLY sucks is my buddy's birthday is tainted.  How?  It's because I'm reading about all these law-breakers called "undocumented workers" are planning rallies to yell and bitch about how it's their right to break the law and leech off of the rest of us.  If I was in charge right now, I'd have INS ready with TONS of paddy-wagons ready to load people up and ship their sorry asses home.  I am SO sick of hearing people who broke the law yelling about how they have a right to be here.  I really don't give a crap what country they're from, if you are here illegally GET THE HELL OUT!  You don't have a right to be here!  There are plenty of people who went through proper legal channels to become citizens because they wanted to.  There aren't short-cuts in life...if you want something you have to work for it.  Don't have the money to file for citizenship?  Then work and save your money.  Another thing I'm sick of hearing is how people are trying to make a better life for themselves and their families.  Yeah, people rob banks for the same reason too, so is robbing a bank ok?  Breaking the law is breaking the law...plain and simple.  And you know what's really appalling?  I read a statistic the other day that more people are killed in this country each year by illegals drunk-driving then are killed in the war on terror each year.  Where's the friggin outrage over that???  Oh, wait, they're only trying to make a better life for themselves.  I swear, I wish one of the victim's family members would sue the government for wrongful death.  But they couldn't...if you do some research you'll come to find that basically the government can't be sued unless they say it's ok to do so.  If someone in my family was killed because of some scumbag law-breaker, I swear I'd probably go full-on vigilante.  Ok, I'm getting really worked up...

I want to talk about superheroes...and vigilantes is a great segue.  I've had some women call me immature because I play videogames, so add to that the fact I love superheroes and one of my favorite games is "Marvel - Ultimate Alliance" where you can choose a team of superheroes to battle Doctor Doom, and I'd be considered an immature child.  In fact, I'll never forget reading something with Eva Longoria where she said guys who play videogames are too immature for her.  I find that funny considering her man plays a friggin playground game for a living...but he's rich so I guess that makes it ok.  I can't stand her...I really don't find her attractive at all.  In fact, I'd love to run into her somewhere and act like I had no clue who she was...hahaha.  Anyway, I love superheroes.  Why?  Because it takes me back to a childhood innocence.  Seriously, when I play a game or watch a movie or cartoons about superheroes, I feel like a kid again where I get to completely suspend disbelief and forget about how much crap is in this world.  But I don't get into just any superhero.  To me, the greatest of them all come from some kind of tragedy.  I'm not a Superman fan at all.  So a guy comes from another planet and has powers...yippee.  I like characters like The Punisher, a man who's family is wiped out by a crime boss and he turns into a vigilante to exact vengeance on lawbreakers.  Look at Batman...his parents are killed so he becomes Batman to enforce laws his own way.  Blade was born as a half-human, half-vampire because his mom was bit while she was pregnant, and because he was born this way, he has an intense hatred for vampires and is hell-bent on wiping them out.  The Hulk is my favorite.  He's a creature of pure rage, and gets stronger the angrier he gets.  Doctor Bruce Banner despises his alter-ego, and lives in fear of it, always trying to figure out how to stop the transformation.  Spiderman was thrust upon Peter Parker...he didn't ask for it, it just happened...and he has to live with it.  The X-Men were born mutants...outcast from the general population...yet want to do the right thing and be productive.  The Fantastic Four, especially Ben Grimm...The Thing...were all transformed due to cosmic radiation on an exploratory space voyage.  They came to grips with their new powers and used them for good.  And Daredevil...as a kid he was stricken blind but at the same time the rest of his senses were strengthened.  The great superheroes all have some sort of tragedy that fuels them because it adds depth to the character.  Look at Aquaman...he comes from the sea and can talk to fish...oh please someone calm me down from all the excitement.  How about Wonder Woman?  She comes from an island where the women have special powers.  Gee, a lot of thought went into that.  Compare that to someone like Iron Man who made the first prototype suit to act as a sort of pacemaker for a damaged heart, and then he also battled alcoholism.  What's so different in being interested in cool stories like that or sitting through crap like "Titanic"?  Plus, because of my knowledge of comics, I made a kid's day this past weekend.  I went into work Saturday afternoon, and this woman I work with brought her son (her husband works there also and they don't have day-care on the weekends).  I was working with her on a new report, and the kid was showing me his Venom and Spiderman figures.  So instead of working on the report and being all "serious" and "mature", I spent some time with the kid explaining to him the origin of Venom and his feud with Spiderman.  He was fascinated, and his mom told me yesterday all he could talk about was how he can't wait to see the new Spiderman movie to watch Eddie Brock turn into Venom.  The kid is four and is very bright.  She also told me he keeps explaining to her how Eddie Brock became Venom...hahaha.  See, he didn't know his Venom figure was another character...he thought it was a bigger Spiderman in a black outfit.  When I explained it all to him, he thought it was one of the coolest things ever and spent the rest of the afternoon acting out fights between Spiderman and Venom.  That's why superheroes are so cool...they appeal to that childlike innocence where you can get caught up in an adventure.  Some people dig "Lord of the Rings" which I found QUITE boring, and then there's those of us who love forming a team on the game "Marvel - Ultimate Alliance" composed of Moon Knight, Deadpool, The Hulk, and The Black Panther to take on Doctor Doom.  And you know what?  If someone thinks I'm all immature because I love that stuff, then go have fun reading your stock quotes for entertainment and being permanently attached to your Blackberry.  It goes back to what I said at the beginning...people really need to lighten up.  I LOVE that I'm 38 years old and get excited when a new Fantastic Four animated DVD comes out.  Speaking of, I can't WAIT for the new Fantastic Four movie this summer.  And I also read that a new Hulk movie is starting...oh yeah.  That last one SUCKED bad.  This one not only stars Edward Norton as Bruce Banner, but the guy who directed both Transporter movies is directing this instead of Johnny Gay Cowboy Movies Ang Lee...so I have a pretty good feeling this will kick some major ass!

Well I'm going to go spend time with the birthday boy...and remember...NoiseCult LIVE this Friday at The Muse!!!