Well I'm back in town sportsfans, and what a weird few days it has been.  So, ready for me to give the story of my business trip to San Diego?  Hey, it entertains me so I'm sure someone will find some bit of humor in all of this.

First, it's Monday morning and I have to take the dogs to the kennel before going to work.  Now I have never had to kennel Vick or Jessi, so the whole thing wasn't sitting well with me.  It's hard to explain, but my dogs are my kids...Vick is my best buddy and Jessi is my little girl.  I felt like I was abandoning them, I really did.  So I take them to the kennel and fill out the paperwork, and now it's time for them to go back to their "rooms".  Jessi was first.  This woman took her leash from me and Jessi dropped to the floor with all four legs sprawled out like a non-violent protester.  The lady is trying to coax her and Jessi is whining because she knows something is up.  I had to lift her up to get her started...then she walked back down the hall.  Vick was up on his hind legs at the front door during all this wanting to leave.  It was his turn next and he went easier.  We did have a "strength and honor" before I left.  In case you don't know, I taught him something WAY cooler than "shake".  In the movie "Gladiator" right before the opening battle, General Maximus is talking to another soldier and sticks his arm out while stating "Strength and honor"...the other soldier grabs his forearm and says "yes...strength and honor".  So now when I tell Vick "strength and honor", he holds out his front left leg to "shake"...it's cool as heck.  They take him back, and I swear when I got back in my car I was heartbroken.  Oh I know, it's probably ridiculous to other people, but leaving the tow of them and seeing how they were reacting to me leaving sucked.  No, I didn't cry, but it was depressing.  I will go ahead and say what it was like to pick them up when I got back.  I landed at about 1:00, got my car and then went to get some food.  I couldn't pick them up until 4:00 because of the kennel's hours...so there I was in the parking lot at 3:30 just sitting in my car waiting.  When they re-opened, I went in and stated who I was and what dogs I was there for and all that.  This woman goes back to get them, and after a few comes out and asks me to come back with her to get them because of how freaked they are.  From what she was telling me, they did fine the last few days, but once out of their runs (the "rooms" they have), all the other dogs started barking and it was freaking them out.  I walked down the corridor and saw Vick and Jessi.  I yell "VICK!!!  JESSI!!!" and both looked up and charged at me, and literally tackled me, I have a nice mark under one eye to prove it...hahaha.  They were both so happy to see me they wouldn't calm down.  I kneeled down and they were all over me.  It was so awesome to get them back home.  If you aren't a dog lover, all of this will sound quite pathetic, but there's a good reason dogs are called "man's best friend" and it's because of their unconditional love.  When I took them out to the car, they were both pawing at the back door to get inside because they just wanted to go home.  During the drive home, Jessi kept crawling over the front seat to lick me and Vick kept sitting up, which he never does in the car, and was panting because of excitement.  Yes, my kids were happy to see me and couldn't wait to get home...I was right there with them.

Ok, back to Monday...I get to the airport and check a piece of luggage in to avoid scrutiny going through security.  I knew if I carried my luggage through I'd get pulled aside because of my air purifier.  It really doesn't do much of anything anymore except make noise...and I can't sleep without it running so I take it everywhere I know I'll be staying at.  Did this stop me from getting pulled aside?  Of course not.  Why?  Because the co-worker who booked the flight made the reservation in the name of "Bo Heyward" when my legal name is Emory Heyward.  My parents have called me "Bo" as long as I can remember, and that's what I go by.  Well because of this, my driver's license didn't have the name "Bo" on it, so I got pulled aside for special security.  Some dude comes over to get me, and he has rubber gloves on.  Instantly I thought of something that would suck big time.  Oh I know, I was just jumping to conclusions, but when security and rubber gloves are paired together, what else am I supposed to think?  So I empty my pockets, walk around in my socks, show them my mp3 player, boot up the laptop, get patted down, and finally I'm free to go.  Now you might be thinking I bitched and complained the whole time...far from it.  I know that when it comes to dealing with any police, security, whatever, it's much easier if you just smile and say "yes sir, no sir" because bitching does nothing but complicate everything.  As much as it pissed me off, I knew that if I just went along that it would be over and done with in a few minutes, so I bit my tongue.  And to prove this to myself, some dude who also got pulled aside for something ridiculous was being all confrontational and moaning about everything.  Well guess who was processed in just a couple of minutes...me.  This guy wasted all his time yelling at security which kept him there for a while and accomplished nothing.  You really have to know when to fight your battles.  Oh, and before I got on the plane, I stopped in the smoking lounge which is a luxury the Nashville airport has.  I picked up a book of matches in a shop at the airport since you can't have lighters...and some dude in there had a lighter.  He told me as long as he keeps it in his back pocket, it never gets found.  Meanwhile I get pulled aside because "Bo" doesn't appear on my driver's license.  Right before boarding the flight, you know how they have the sign with the flight number by the door that leads to the plane?  Well as I walked past it, I turned to the guy from my company I was traveling with, started in with my TV announcer voice and said "This Sunday on NBC, the mini-series event of the year - The Doomed Passengers of Flight 582".  He looked at like he didn't want to hear that, so I asked him if he had seen "Snakes on a Plane" yet.  He hadn't, but I told him those were just a couple of tidbits he could dwell on while we were flying...hahaha.  And then the flight started...and man did it SUCK.  I pulled out the laptop after we took off figuring I would work on some song lyrics...and staring at the screen gave me a GIANT headache.  My eyes felt like they were literally about to explode from the sockets.  Well when this happens, there is only one cure - ice.  When my sinuses get inflamed, if I can rub some ice on them for a little bit they shrink and I feel better.  So what did I do?  I took ice cubes out of the drink I got on the plane and started rubbing it all over my forehead.  The pain was beyond intense and I didn't care how it looked.  Then when I was starting to feel better, I was thinking about the dude sitting next to me and wondered what he was thinking about some big bald dude rubbing ice all over his head...hahahaha.  But that flight was a nightmare.  I really like planes and everything, but the whole process of flying drives me nuts.  Plus, the only "watch" I had was my cellphone, and of course it changes when I'm in a different time zone, so I had no idea if 8:30 was Mountain or Pacific time, or how much longer we had to go.  The only gauge I had was my mp3 player that I put about 5 hours worth of tunes on.  I'll say this, there is something about landing at night while "Call of Ktulu" by Metallica is playing.  What was weird is that the airport in San Diego is right next to downtown, and I swear it looked like we were going to collide with a Holiday Inn.

Oh man...the WEATHER!  I'm coming from a city where it was around 20 degrees the night before to a place where it was about 55 at 9:00 at night.  And the next day was sunny and close to 70.  Yeah, it would be a great place to live if it wasn't for the fact that California is like living under some Nazi regime.  First you have the special blend of gas which costs about a dollar more a gallon, you can't smoke anywhere...not even in my hotel room.  Yeah, I had to sign this thing saying it was a $500 fine for smoking in the hotel.  I tell you what, if I had that kind of money I would chain smoked in my room like there was no tomorrow.  Oh, and my favorite was a sign by the front counter at the hotel.  It stated something about a warning and how some materials used in construction of that building cause cancer and blah blah blah.  It struck me as a little weird.  Well after checking in, we went to eat and there was a TGI Friday's about a block up.  I walk inside, and by the front there's the exact same sign.  So when we got back to the hotel, I was asking the girl who worked the desk what it was all about.  She rolled her eyes and said there was some stupid law that all the places built during a certain period of time contained something in the materials and showed me a stack of pamphlets they give out if you want to be a better informed eco-freak.  Oh, and in my room there was a card laying on the bed that said something like "Choose to conserve" and stated that they will make my bed in the morning, but if I leave the card on the bed they won't change the sheets if I'm staying another night.  In the bathroom there was the same type of card that said I could put whatever towels that needed to be cleaned in this area, or I could use the same towel for more than one day.  Me personally, I have always thought it was a little ridiculous to have all new sheets and towels if you're staying someplace for more than one night, but I guess since the sun is on a collision course with the earth, we need to NOW start saving resources.  I swear, the fact there was some stupid card explaining this with pictures of trees and butterflies on it really made me want to throw every single towel in the "to be washed" pile and have new sheets every day while I was there.  Sometimes people act like if you aren't out working at a recycling center and driving a hybrid car, then you must be driving down the road throwing chunks of styrofoam out the windows, and it just pisses me off when I see cards like this because it just has this snooty little attitude on it.  "Oh thank you mister eco-freak...I NEVER would have thought about not wasting resources if you hadn't spread awareness about the environment...I'm a better person now".  Speaking of which, have you seen this concert Al Gore is putting together to raise awareness about global warming?  Yeah, this idiot is going to have bands fly in from all over the place burning fuel and then wasting electricity to "raise awareness" of how bad the environment is.  I am hoping beyond hope that in the new season of South Park they have an episode where Al hosts a concert to raise awareness of manbearpig.  I have never seen a more ignorant person who is heralded as some kind of genius.  Wow...that really gives me hope for mankind...hahaha.

Anyway, the whole reason for the trip was a presentation of this new software project I've been working on to a company we're designing it for.  Now, originally I was going to only provide backup while someone else did the presentation.  This kind of changed about an hour before it was supposed to start when I was informed I would be doing it.  I have never done a presentation for a company in my life, and this project is a potential cash cow...and now it was all on my shoulders...haha.  But I did it, everyone loved it, and I was showered with praise when I got back in town.  It was all quite bizarre.  Then again I shouldn't be surprised, after all I'm pretty darn charming...haha.  The only thing that sucked about the trip outside of the flight was that I had to miss an entire week of Martial Arts class.  When I got back, I planned on going that night but considering I slept about 5 hours total on the trip, I was walking around in a haze and knew I couldn't go.  I have no clue why...I couldn't sleep at all.  I mean I know I'm a chronic insomniac, but it was ridiculous.  I was so out of it that when I was going through security at the San Diego airport, I got pulled aside again.  Not because of the name difference, but because I didn't take the laptop out of the case.  The dude asked me why I didn't and I told him I didn't know I had to.  He asked if I had flown before with it, and I told him I had coming out to San Diego a few days before.  So he looks at me all weird and asks me if I had to take it out of the case then...I told him no.  I was so out of it I forgot I had to go through the special screening in Nashville and they took it out.  He's looking at me like I'm lying about something and tells me to have a seat.  Then it hit me about Nashville, and I tell him about how security there checked it, but it's too late, I'm a terrorist.  Seriously, I was telling the guy and he basically is like "Sir, just remain seated!"  I was thinking "what-the-heck-ever"...I just wanted to get home so again I bit my tongue.

But now I'm home, I have heat in my house, I'm no longer sick, and I don't have to miss any more martial arts classes.  Oh, and if you haven't seen the movie "The Departed" yet....WOW!  Seriously, it was a movie I didn't want to end.  It was so friggin good that I honestly wanted it to just keep going and going....and it's pretty long as it is.  Although every time Alec Baldwin was on screen I couldn't help but laugh thinking about Kim Jong from "Team America" where he goes "I've got Arec Bardwin"...hahaha.  "Uhhh...global warming...evil corporations"...hahahahahaha.  What an idiot.