"I do hope that this Christmas Message thing will not be happening every year! It is rather bothersome. But, I am sure my loyal fans will be pleased that their idol will be saying one last thing before the year is out.
Although I am not exactly excited about Christmas, I do know that a lot of other people are. Some of those people have asked me for my wisdom. Some of them were polite, some of them were not and most were just plain weird...
This year was rather eventful for Skul. He has started the now smally popular 'Teh crap MuD'. I know what some of you are thinking. Do not bother asking me if I will join that mod team! Me? The GARGAT Guru? Join a mod team dedicated to poor quality addons? What an insult!
Those of you who are not thinking that, you are wise, indeed. But... not as wise as the Guru, of course.
While I know that many of you maggots will miss me, I also know that you can get through the holiday season without your infinitely wise and devilishly handsome idol.
As I look into 2005, I see more strange questions coming my way, more imbeciles who would rather ask me about mortal past-times than the wonders of the universe. I also see that there will be a rather significant event next year, but I am not going to tell you what it is. You will have to see for youreslf. That is all I will say on that matter.
As you party and have fun over the holidays, do not forget to give your favourite Guru a thought in the middle of it all. But I am sure I do not need to tell you that. I know how much you admire me. Aah, the life of a Guru...
I am tiring. Just because I am a Guru does not mean I have a limitless supply of energy. Be gone, for I need my beauty sleep.
Before any of you ask; no I do not have a favourite Christmas song; I will not wear a 'Santa Hat', because I am a powerful Guru; I do not like snow, it soaks through my robe; I have no want for any Christmas presents; no, I don't have a Christmas Tree or any other 'festive' decoration in my hovel; I do not own any reindeer; I am not going away for the holidays; I am not going to be surrounded by little elves at any time of the year; my robe will not turn red with white, fluffy edges on Christmas Day, despite what my picture shows; I do not believe in Santa Claus and for Gurus sake, I am not Santa Claus himself!
Oh, and... Merry Christmas....."