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I should've known, right? I've probably said those things a thousand times before, but I thought maybe one thousand and one would be the lucky number. I don't know if I'm wrong or right, yet.
I don't think I want to put the effort into trying to do those things. So, because they aren't easy I'm thinking of giving up before i even try. **Thats the slacker attitude, go get 'em tiger** It's not so much the effort that I'm scared of **tiger?** rather it's the probablity of disappointment. The same disappointment that occurs every time i try something like this. **there's my tiger!**
But why should I give up before I start, you never know this just might be the time when everything will just fall into place. **oh please, you've heard that before** What if everything goes haywire and I miss the mark by a few miles? The worst that could happen **and it will** is that I'd be back where I started, no worse off **or so you think**
After trying so many times **FAILURE!** and not succeeding it's hard to just get back up and try again.
Could it be possible that a person becomes used to failure **excuses** such that they refuse to try and succeed? This of course would not apply to me, except for the fact that any accomplishment I have achieved has not been for my own wanting. Is anything that anyone wants purely for their own good?
Are we born with something biological that predetermines success, and if not success, than desire to have success?
Are we ultimately at our own mercy, or the mercy of others?
If i had all the answers than life would be so much easier. **But that takes the fun out of watching you squirm** That's supposed to be the point of life, but i don't want to sit around waiting for answers. I want to live. Having said that, I am being a hypocrite since I fear everything, and question everything.
Confusion! That seems to be the only thing that i have a firm grasp on, that and fear. I have those two things so that i fully understand them, mostly because they consume a good portion of my life. **sigh...just give up...**
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