November 14

Dear: _____________

          I never meant to hurt you, or myself. I'm sorry that I was ashamed of the way I felt for you, I know now that I shouldn't have been. Maybe it wasn't shame that drove me from you, I think it was more fear. Fear that I might actually be happy.

          I know now that I was wrong. It's a mistake I can't take back, whether I want to or not. There are some things in life that people are too proud to take back. On the other hand, some people ahve been hurt more than they're willing to forgive. Whatever the case, things can't go back to the way they were.

          I remember the first time you hugged me, the first time you held my hand, and the first time we kissed. I remember sleeping with you under the stars, and the way your heart beats while you sleep. I remember walking with you in the rain, and the way you held me tight. All those times you made me feel like I was special, in a way that no one has before, and no one will again.

          Since then there's been others. I've held their hands, hugged them and even kissed them. Somehow it just wasn't right. It hasn't been right since I let you go.

          Now you're happy, and with someone new, so I can't tell you how badly I miss you. How much I want to hear you say those words...How much I might give to hear you say them, even if they werent meant for me.

          I only wanted you to be happy, at the time I know I wasn't right, and I only hurt us both, but now you see why I did what I did. Someday I knew you'd thank me for it, someday I might be happy like you. Just treat her like you did me, and I know she'd be insane to let you go, I know I was.