June 30 | |||
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65 DaysI wish I wasn't allergic to so many things, especially flowers. Right now I have a dozen pink roses and one red rose in my room. I love them, the look, the smell....the general presence that these 13 flowers have. The dozen red roses were given to me by my mom last night at my graduation, it's apparently a tradition to give your daughter flowers or something. The single red rose I got today from Edgar (a few days ago "tim" wrote an entry...tim would be Edgar incase you hadn't figured that out yet). i wasn't expecting anything from him, but it's beautiful and sitting right beside me now. I shouldn't be keeping these flowers in my room. Just from sitting here my eyes are starting to feel itchy and watery, I wish I wasn't allergic to something so beautiful. Last night while we were at diggGirl's house I found myself staring up at the stars. I never do that nearly enough anymore, infact I don't do it at all. It's sad. I really would have liked to lay down in DiggGirl's yard and just stare up at the stars for a while...I'm kind of sad that I didn't too. Steve spent last night telling us how short life is, and that we should do the things that make us happy NOW, not the things that MIGHT make us happier in the future because there may not be a tomorrow. I miss lying on the beach staring up at stars, pointing up when I found a constellation. Yet another example of my procrastination, my lack of interest for the now, the here, the present. I should grab my chances by the neck and wring them for all they're worth. Either that or create my own chances...take destiny away from someone else and make it my own. I'm the type that would like to go with the flow, the type that would like to fall nicely into line with everyone else. Now I see, this is not the way to go, not for me, not anymore. Tomorrow I wake up a different Katie...yes, yes I do. Whats brought all of this? Everywhere I turn there are people talking about the past and the future and the now and about how the present is the one thing that is most important. Patrick (who I read daily) inspired this a little with his Retroactive Advice. I should learn from others mistakes right? Steve's valedictorian address also made me realize a few of these things, as I said yesterday. Also, a general lack of satisfaction led me to the only logical conclusion...I must change something....and so I shall....you'll see. |