December 27

I'm still having my sleeping problems, and yesterday was a prime example of why I feel that I jsut shouldn't sleep at all.

I first went to sleep around 2am, which is significantly early by my standards, only to wake up about a half hour later shaking. It kinda shook me up, literally, but I dozed back to sleep. Again, I awoke shaking, only this time I was also crying.

What worried me most, was that I didn't know why I was shaking and crying. I couldn't recall a dream or a reason, so it unnerved me inside.

I tried to sleep a few more times, and after waking up in a similar state a few times I just gave up, until I finally just passed out early this morning.

As it was I really disliked sleeping, for many reasons, but this has given me yet another reason. I've run out of sleeping pills so, I'm not sure whether sleep is an option tonight or not...

Being home has really taken a toll on me emotionally. It's been a wild roller coaster that surely won't end until I return to university.

I wish I could sleep all day to avoid the interaction I'm required to ahve with my (disfunctional) family.

Since I've been home, it's just like I never left. It's back to the yelling and blaming Katie for everything, even my sister's starting to catch on to how to do it. Someday she'll be the leader of the pack.

Augh, I'm just yearning for my little room, where I have some privacy, my own life, and control over the heat.