I turn over and flick on my cd player just letting my music softly caress my skin as i let the tears slide down my cheeks, i never noticed how cold they were, and so salty as they slide over my lips, i sing softly with the music trying to soothe my heart so i can write this for you to see that i love you and i do think of you in every way but all i want is you to be here beside me now I'm sick of waiting sick of feeling like I'm drowning, sick of feeling like i will never hold you in my arms and be able to tell you that you fill my heart, that you complete me in a way that i have never known.
The cat walks up my legs and flops onto my chest licking my nose, Tiggy the cat that always knows how to make me laugh when all else fails, my companion when i have no one to sleep with, not that i do except the kids. Willow stirs suddenly in her cot whimpering in her sleep, she's so precious love, so gorgeous like a little angel. I thumb away my tears and smile softly as i remember that you do love me and that you miss me as much as i miss you. My mind flitting to when we meet, i don't know what I'm going to do wether i should just run into your arms and smother you in kisses until you realise that my love for you is eternal, until you realise that my heart is yours, that i am yours. I move the cat onto the spare pillow and lay with my fingers laced across my bare stomach.
I let my icy fingers lightly trace my nipples, running over the hardening nubs making them ache in wanting, pretending that your hands are mine, that everything i do is what you want to do to me. I tease at my nipples, whimpering as my icy cold nails rasp over them roughly, cupping my small breasts in my hands and squeezing them hard. I arch my back as i knead my soft breasts, my thumbs flicking over my nipples slowly. teasing myself deliberately. Feeling a familiar tug in my pussy, i ache for you so bad all over baby.
I run my nails down my flat stomach whimpering at the pain, noticing that i have drawn blood, watching the crimson blood trickle slowly on my ivory skin smiling softly to myself, running the palms of my hands back up my body, letting my fingers tangle in my short ebony locks, giggling as i remember i didn't tell you i had dyed it again. Yanking hard on my curls then raking my nails back down my neck, the tip of my tongue sliding along my full bottom lip, moistening it. Suddenly i get an idea and i slip from the warmth of my bed and pad naked across the room looking at my naked body in the mirror the pale moonlight making my pale skin gleam silver. I tilt the mirror so that i can see the bed then walk back to the end of my bed crawling up onto the silken eiderdown.
My ass looks weird from this angle, so tiny, so spankable, man your gonna love that, i giggle at myself in the mirror, a tiny little naked chick on all fours looking at herself in the mirror over her shoulder, normal people would think i had lost my mind.
"Fuck 'em" i whisper aloud giggling at the way i look when I'm trying to be defiant.
