And the more i deny it
The more it hurts
I feel like a ghost
Hiding in the velvet dark
Crying myself to sleep.
This is my nightmare quest
My eternal trial by fire
Walking down this path
Alone, weak, vulnerable
Needing to get back home
To be safe in your arms.
Working through my head
Pushing aside my problems
Trying to just be perfect
Pretending to be strong
So that you have no excuse
To ever leave me.
Walking away from people
That mean everything to me
Just so they can't notice
The person I'm becoming
Hiding the numerous changes
So they don't ask what's wrong.
Angry words echo in my mind
Feeling inadequate all the time
Screaming silently as i watch
My attempts to get through this
Seemingly fail miserable again
Im just disappointed in myself.
Feeling myself sink into denial
I'm not changing, not moving
watching my reflection mutate
Slipping silently into insanity
As everything i was vanishes
The bitterness almost kills me.
So now I'm hiding, I'm lost
Trying to get back to you
Hiding my fear and doubt
As i quietly fight myself
Trying to accept the changes
As i try to be your girl.
