| Turbo: A Power Rangers Parody ZORDON<voice over>: On a distant planet a little runt named LERIGOT is possising as a wizard. Unfortantly sence he is just an oversized puppet with a desprate need for a haircut, everyone is after him. He is the keeper of a greater magic, that is, if he had any idea how to use it. He holds the great universail key, only 2 are in the universe. The other one was sold on EBAY a long time ago and has never been tracked down. A visuious space pirate with big boobs named DIVATOX wants the key to go through the sometimes feered nemesis triangle. Once inside she'll marry a ton of rocks and unleash a great evil on the world named MALIGOR, a pile of rocks that is always in a bad mood. Don't worry if you don't understand this-I'll be sure to always repeat it. <on the screen a pironitron is holding a bow and arrow> PERONITRON: Sesh! I'm hunting wizard! <just then LERIGOT pulls out a comminicator and teleports to Africa. He looks around> LERIGOT: Damnit! next time I'm reading a map when I travel to other planets. Alpha? <a nice lion aproaches LERIGOT is frightened and runs away. The lion gets bored and goes off somewhere to eat a mouse. LERIGOT then runs into a bunch of monkeys> LERIGOT: Alpha? MONKEY #1: ooohhhh ahahaha <tanslation: Lets take him to sacerfice to our Gods> MONKEY #2: ahahahahahahahahahhhhaa <Translation: Yes I agrree, Bulk and Skull will be so pleased> <LERIGOT goes with the monkeys> <A submarine passes by in an ocean. It is a long one and on the back is the bumper sticker that reads "Enemies of the power rangers lives here". Inside the sub DIVATOX is plotting> DIVATOX: You idiots!! You can't even catch a puppet!!! ELGAR: You're right Auntie Dee. DIVATOX: Shut up! They're idiots ELGAR sighs: Yes but they're my idiots. DIVATOX: Will you guys shut up! You're giving me such a headache! <phone rings, DIVATOX answers it> RITA on phone: Quit stealing my lines! <DIVATOX hangs up, walks over to a tin can where she picks up an eel> DIVATOX: Aiight now I have to come up with a plan for getting through the nemesis triangle, but I first need that overgrown hamster. Hum... RYGOT: Why don't you steal his wife and kid? DIVATOX: I've got it! I'll dystroy his home planet! ELGAR: Uh Auntie, why don't you just steal his wife and kid. DIVATOX: Even better! Elgar! Send the preonitrons to capture his wife and baby. ELGAR: done and done. DIVATOX laughs evily. <On a charter bus is the orphanage. One the front of the bus it reads LITTLE DEVILS HAVEN. KATHRYN is stupidley walking up and down the aile trying to make the kids sing. One girl sings differently.> LITTLE GIRL: Row row your boat gentally down the stream! Push Kathryn and Tanya overboard listen to them scream! <KATHRYN sees that JUSTIN is not singing. She bends down besides him> KATHRYN: Why aren't you singing? I know you know the words. JUSTIN: This song sucks, and I'm an orphan-well except that my father ditched me but still wants me to cry over him. KATHRYN: I understand, but you just have to put up with it. For example, see my shorts? They're so short that if I move the wrong way, everyone can see my Snoppy underwear. But I'm not complaining because I push aside those feelings so that others don't know my pain. Believe me kid, everyone does it. So suck it up. <KATHRYN walks away. On the other side of town TOMMY, ADAM and ROCKY are being trained to fight in a karette match. ROCKY is having a bad day and it shows. He can't do anything right. Just then he jumps over the ring and lands on his back> ROCKY: OW! my back! TOMMY unmoved: call an ambulance. Just then all of the orphans walk into the fight arina and they see that an ambulance is there helping ROCKY. ORPHAN: Darn it! I was so looking forward to beating the tar out of everyone! JUSTIN: Why am i supposed to care about you when i don't even know you? Oh no! ROCKY! KATHRYN: Back off kid-hes mine! KATHRYN pushes JUSTIN aside to go to ROCKY at a ball park BULK and SKULL are wearing their uniforms when LT STONE walks up LT STONE: Might I remind your idiots that you nearly got me fired, again? BULK: Whats our assinment chief? LT STONE: Listen up boys this is your big shot to get into the movie. You must drive along the back roads at night aimlessley and look for UFOs. <He notices that SKULL is trying unsucessfully to squirt mustard onto his hot dog. He then squirts it on his pants in the groin area. A little boy walks by> BOY: ha ha, you peed on yourself! BULK: All right sir, we're on it. LT STONE walks away SKULL: Shouldn't we check on our monkey friends to see if they have any more sacerfices for us? BULK shacks his head and walks away. SKULL follows. JUSTIN walks into ROCKY'S hospital room JUSTIN: ROCKY? Are you alive? I want to steal your girlf- <Just then he hears others comming in. Since hes out past his curfiew he hids under the bed. TOMMY, ADAM, TANYA, and KATHRYN enter.> ALL:Hey ROCKY! ROCKY: Ow! not to loud! Did you remember the weed? TOMMY: Sorry dude we can't sneak it in here. and if ZORDON found ou, he'd kill us. TANYA: Are you kidding? ZORDON'S gotta be like the heavist weed smoker ever. ADAM ignoring the subject: Here we brought you some ballons. ADAM lets them go and they float to the roof. ROCKY appearently high on pain medication laughs: Ohhh the bueatiful colors! TOMMY: To bad the shelters closing down. KATHRYN: Yeah you would have thought that old man BURNS whos a millionaire would have contributed to this cause ADAM: Uh KATHRYN, BRUNS is a cartoon charactor. Honestley when have we been stuck with a stupidier teamate? ROCKY: KIMBERLY....... ADAM: Yeah she was dumb. I guess its the blond hair. ROCKY: Yeah dumb....thats what I meant..... KATHRYN: JUSTIN's taking this pretty hard. He lost his mom his dad and now the shelter. TOMMY: I'd hate to see all of the kids living on the streets. KATHRYN: What about SCROGUE MCDUCK or LOGAN CALE? i bet they'll help us! TANYA: Those are also TV characters. KATHRYN: Well how about ALL: SHUT UP! communicators go off. TOMMY answers it: Yes Zordon? ZORDON: I could just tell you what is wrong here but I want to show the audience the cool new comand center. You must report here imidantly. Or, you know, whenever you want to.Hell I'm always saying everythings an emergancy. This time I'm gonna sit back and relax. TOMMY: Got it. ROCKY: You heard Zordon, go! Tanya: Whats up with Zordon? Tommy: He must be on weed again. ADAM: We'll be back here soon. <The rangers teleport. JUSTIN sees that and tries to get up but hits his head on the metal frame> JUSTIN: Ow! ROCKY: Ha ha serves you right for spying. Who's there? JUSTIN comes out from under the bed: You guys are the Power Rangers? I guess I shouldn't be to surprised. That explains why TOMMY and ADAM hang around those hot lossers. ROCKY: Ah shut up you little twirp. JUSTIN: Sorry ROCKY: Ah no, I need to piss. Get me the urinal. <Where JUSTIN was standing we see a cloud of smoke for the kid took off so fast. Rocky smiles now that Justin is gone> <At the Power Chamber> Zordon: A little runt named Lerigot escaped from his home planet. I am assuming that he meant to come to the Power Chamber but as you know no one can come in here without a power coin. Alpha: Except if they are made of oze. Zordon clears throat: Yeah well, that was a mistake. Anyway rangers, this runt has a powerfull plastic stick that he can use to unlock the Nemesis Triangle. Adam: Where is that? Zordon: Well...the second star to the right and straight on till morning. Tanya: Isn't that to never, never land? Zordon: Well where do you think the author for Peter Pan got his inspiration? All: OOOOHHHHHH Tommy: And here I thought he was just a pedafile. Kathryn: Who's Peter Pan? Alpha, ignoring Kathryn: There I found Lerigot. Hes in Africa but he has taken great pains to hide his exact location. Zordon: Someone must be after him. Tommy: Really? Duh. Zordon: Tommy you and Kathryn will travel to Africa with the Power Boxes and hope you find Lerigot before you dehydrate and die. Adam and Tanya you will stay here and just hang out for a while. <Tommy and Kat go over to get the Power Boxes, which are just backpacks.> Tommy: Ready? Kat: Lets do it! <They both are teleported away to Africa. Meanwhile Bulk and Skull are crusing along on their motorcyckle.> Skull: This doesn't look right Bulk: What are you talking about? Theres a UFO right there! <He points up. He screams as he kicks the bike into full gear as Skull hangs on tight around Bulks waist. They are headed straight for a fishing supply store. They crash into it. They both land on the ground, holding hands. A bright light appears over them as they are teleported away.> <Kat and Tommy are walking around Africa> Kat: Parts of this reminds me of Africa. Tommy: Really? Wow, Africa is the same as Australia. Kat: Sigh. I need a rest. <Kat sits down on a log. As Tommy is checking out her boobs and smiling he notices a harmless tree snake crawling around her.> Tommy: Kat don't move. <Kat is suddenly friaghtened> Tommy: On the count of three jump and let me take care of it. 1...2....3 GO! <As Kat jumps up Tommy pushes her in the river and laughs. As Kat is falling Spider Man swings out to resuce her.> Tommy: Hey Spidey! Get your own movie! Spidey: Oh sorry. <Kat falls into the river and starts screaming like a little school girl. Tommy watches from above> Tommy: Geez Kat. Its just a little water. <Spidey stands besides Tommy> Spide: Maybe you better go save her. Tommy: sighs, I guess so. That seems to be my role in these movies. <Tommy does a perfect dive into the water and swims towards Kat. He gets her then he puts a life jacket around her and they go to shore.> Kat: My leg. Tommy: Just a flesh wound. Deal with it. <He walks off leaving Kat to try to walk by herself. All Kat can do is walk close to the ground and hold her gapping flesh wound. They walk for a while then spot some monkeys leading a large puppet.> Tommy: Yoda? I mean.......um.... Lerigot: Alpha? Tommy: Your name is Alpha? No kidding, that't the robots name too. Kat: Lerigot? Thanks monkeys for finding him for us. <Tommy leads Lerigot away> Monkeys translated: That was our dinner! Bring him back you assholes!!! Tommy: Thank you so much. Bye <They teleport away leaving the monkeys cursing.> <In Dematox's sub Elgar is proudley showing off Bulk and Skull who seem high> Eldgar: Check it out Auntie Dee. I even scrambled their brains to make for comic relife. Dematox: The idea was to capture two humans of purity and streangth not to make them puke! Go find me two more humans! Elgar: You dumb robots! Go get two more humans! <They arrive at the command center. Alpha tends to Kat's wounds while no one cares about her but takes care of the big puppet.> |