Interior of Elaine’s apartment

She enters carrying a bag of groceries. She sets them down on the counter and goes over to check her messages. It is message number 1, George.

George <on answering machine>: Hi Elaine its George, I was wondering-

Elaine pushes the button on the machine to skip to the next message. Her sisters voice rings out in the room

Sister: Hi Elaine its Holly. I just got my test results back from the hospital today and I have to go back in a few days to the hospital again. Anyway I was wondering if you could watch Dara for me for a few weeks or so? I’d really appreciate it get back to me.

Elaine is thinking while frowning, ‘I can’t watch a 4 year old kid for a few weeks, even if she is my niece.’ Elaine’s frown turns into a thoughtful look ‘then again, I could be cool Aunt Elaine. Well it has a certain ring to it’ She picks up the phone

Elaine: Hi Holly Elaine here. Yeah I can watch Dara for a while.

 

George is hitting on a girl on a park bench in Central Park. He is smiling and nodding at her comments.

Just then the lady sees a man off to the side, talking to his little boy. She watches the two for a few moments before telling George

Lady: Excuse me

She walks over to the man and the child and starts to talk to them. George sees that it is all over for him. He wonders what it is about little children that make women so attracted to them.

 

Interior of Jerry’s apartment, Jerry and Kramer are talking.

Kramer: I gotta find a job Jerry, I just gotta.

Jerry <while looking at the Classified adds>: Heres a job as a desk clerk.

Kramer: No no, to boring

Jerry: Well how about this one, it’s a position as a mail carrier.

Kramer: no to much work

Jerry: Newmans one, so it cant be that much work. How about a plumber?

Kramer: To much work

Jerry gets frustrated and lowers the newspaper

Jerry: How about this job as an elephant manager?

Kramer: Oh I like the sound of that

Jerry puts the newspaper on the table and walks over to the counter

Jerry: There is no such thing as an elephant manager!

Kramer: Well are you sure? Somebody’s gotta keep those elephants in line.

Jerry sighs as he hears the intercom go off. He pushes the button

Jerry: Yeah

George: Its me

Jerry: Yeah come on up.

He then pushes the button to ring George in.

Kramer: I hear that you get good life insurance if you work at the zoo. <he frowns> then again most of the life insurance at the zoo goes towards those working with venomous snakes. <he smiles> I could be the American Crocodile Hunter.

George enters shacking his head

George: I can’t figure it out.

Jerry: I’m almost afraid to ask, what is wrong?

George: I was hitting on this gorgeous woman down at the park. Then she left me for some guy with a kid.

Jerry: Yep that will do it for ya

George: Why? What do women see in little kids? They’re like us but only with more screw ups. They can’t even use the bathroom by themselves they need dippers. Why would anyone want to change some big plastic dipper filled with poop is beyond me.

Jerry shrugs

Kramer walks up to George and speaks with an Australian accent

Kramer: Hey Mite.

George looks confused

George: What the hell is wrong with you?

Jerry: Don’t ask

George shrugs

George: Alright

The intercom buzzes again as Jerry answers it

Jerry: Yeah?

Elaine: Its Elaine

Jerry: Come on up

Jerry buzzes her in

Kramer <to George>: Did you know every time the Crocodile Hunter gets bitten his ratings go up?

George: Yeah, people want to see him get killed

Jerry: No, we aren’t that lucky.

Elaine enters

Elaine: You’re looking at cool Aunt Elaine <She smiles>

George: What?

Elaine: My sister Holly called and wanted to know if I could watch her kid for a few weeks.

Jerry: And you said…

Elaine: Hell yeah why not? This is my chance to be cool to someone.

George: You’re certainly not cool to us.

Elaine throws him a nasty look

George: Well I’d better go

Kramer: Yeah let me come, I should go ask Newman if he has any idea.

Jerry: Why you would want to listen to Newman is beyond me.

Kramer: He has Twinkies at his apartment. <he licks his lips> They’re delicious.

George and Kramer exit

Jerry: What in the world possessed you with the idea to take on another life form?

Elaine: Cool aunt Elaine sounds to good to pass up.

Jerry: Do you even know how to take care of another person?

Elaine: How hard could it be? <walks over to the fridge and takes out a bottle of water> You just have to make sure they don’t kill themselves for a few days. <she looks at her watch> I gotta go. I’m meeting Holly at the airport in a half an hour.

Jerry: alright

Elaine exits. Jerry grabs a bowl of popcorn as he makes his way over to the tv. He turns it on

TV announcer: And tonight its Superman meets Frankenstein on Cartoon network

Jerry: Damn another cheap cartoon crossover.

 

Interior of airport

Elaine is standing and waiting. Suddenly a women and her daughter walk over to her.

Holly: Elaine hi! <they hug> Thank you so much for taking care of Dara for me.

Elaine: No problem.

Holly mentions the girl that’s at her side

Holly: Dara this is your aunt Elaine, shes going to watch you for a few weeks.

Elaine bends down and smiles at the girl

Elaine: Hi Dara

Dara looks at the stranger, her face drops as she grabs onto her mother

Dara: Mommy! I don’t wanna stay with her!

Dara cries

Elaine: Oh great. <Elaine said that sarcaticlly.>

 

Interior of Newman’s apartment

Kramer is sitting down eating a twinkie when he notices Neman’s stuffed crocodile. He thinks for a moment then gets excited.

Kramer: Newman can I borrow that crocodile?

Newman: alright but be very careful.

Kramer nods as he takes the crocodile as he exits the apartment

 

 

 

Interior of Jerrys apartment

Kramer is raiding Jerry’s fridge and Jerry is sitting at the table reading a Superman comic book. Jerry gets up and heads over to the bathroom. When he is in there he notices a crocodile in his tub. He screams and runs out.

Kramer: What? Whats wrong?

Jerry: There’s an animal in my tub!

Kramer: Oh that’s just Crokie. He won’t bite

Jerry: You put that thing in? <sigh> why am I not surprised. I want that thing outta my apartment!

Kramer: Outta your apartment?

Jerry: Outta my apartment!

Kramer: alright if you say so

Kramer walks over to the bathroom and takes the crocodile from the water. He doesn’t bother to ring it out so water drips everywhere. As he exits Elaine and Dara enter. Kramer is surprised and pauses a moment before exiting. Dara looks after him strangely.

Elaine: O…..k….. Hey Jer this is Dara.

Jerry walks over and bends down to the girl

Jerry: Hi Dara.

Dara turns and puts her head into Elain’s leg. Jerry shrugs and walks away. Elaine bends down to pick Dara up walks over to the couch and sets her niece down.

Elaine: Jerry do you have anything for her to eat?

Jerry: yeah sure check the fridge.

Elaine walks over to the fridge as the door opens and in comes George. He sees Dara on the couch he looks confused

George: Where did she come from?

Jerry <looking down from his comic>: Well you see George when a man and a women love each other very much-

Elaine: Alright Jerry, that’s enough. She’s my niece Dara. I’m watching her for a while. <She looks over at Dara> Dara this is George.

Dara looks up from the couch

Dara: Hi.

George begins to think

George: How old are you sweetheart?

Dara holds up 4 fingers. George’s mouth begins to form a smile.

George: Elaine, could I borrow her this evening?

Elaine: What?

George: Yes you see I have a date with this single mom. I told her I had a kid so that she’d like me. She wants me to bring my kid to meet her son.

Elaine sighs

Elaine: alright, I have some stuff to do anyway. Just don’t lose her.

George claps his hands together

George: This is great! These women are like undiscovered gold mines! They’re desperate Jerry desperate. Just waiting for a single dad, like myself, to come and dig them up. I’m in the club! <he grabs his jacket from the coat hanger and closes the door to go out. He opens the door once more> I’ll pick her up at 6:00. <He tells Elaine then leaves. Dara waves bye. Jerry and Elaine shrugs as Elaine sits at the counter and eats her apple and Jerry continues to read his comic>

 

Commercial break

Interior of Elaine’s apartment it is 5:00 and Dara is asleep on the couch when the phone rings.

Elaine: Yeah….alright David I’ll be there in a few minutes.

she hangs up the phone. She sighs as she looks at Dara. Just then someone knocks on the door. Elaine opens the door to see that its Kramer

Kramer: could I use your fax machine to fax my résumé to the zoo?

Elaine: Yeah could you do me a big favor? Watch Dara for an hour or so? David threw out his back again.

Kramer: Sure sure. Can I use your fax?

Elaine: Yeah its in my bedroom. Oh and George is coming by to pick her up for a while. See ya.

Elaine exits while Kramer is stuck watching Dara

 

George’s apartment, bedroom George is getting ready. He thinks to himself ‘How does daddy George sound? Hum, its only for one night. Not like I have to take care of that little kid for the rest of her life.’ He shutters at the thought.

 

Interior of Elaine’s apartment Kramer is sitting at the counter watching Dara sleep. As he watches her an idea forms in his head. He smiles

Kramer: I got it! I’ll open up a daycare!

Dara stirs on the couch but doesn’t wake up. Kramer moves over towards the phone and dials a number

Jerry <on phone>: Hello?

Kramer: Jerry hi. I just had a brilliant idea! I’m going to open up a day care!

Jerry: Who is this?

Kramer: Very funny

Jerry: What possessed you to think about opening a dare care?

Kramer: Well Elaine asked me to watch her niece. Its easy Jerry. Imagine, 50 a week per child.

Jerry: Alright.

He’s not excited. There’s a knock at Elaine’s door.

Kramer: Listen I have to go someone’s at the door.

Jerry is saying something but Kramer hangs up anyway. He opens the door to George who has a woman with him. George begins to scan for Dara.

George: There she is! My little angel!

He walks over to the couch and wakes Dara up. Then he picks her up in his arms and brings her over to his date.

George: Madelyn, I would like you to meet my daughter. <he pauses as he forgets Dara’s name> Um sweetie, why don’t you introduce yourself to my new friend?

Dara: I’m Dara

Madelyn: Hi Dara. I’m Madelyn. <She steps aside to revile a boy about Dara’s age> This is my son Chase.

The two look at each other for a moment before George says

George: Lets go.

They head out but Kramer grabs George

George: What?

Kramer: Well you haven’t paid me for watching your daughter yet.

George: What?

Kramer: Come on, it’s the end of the week and I’ve watched her everyday so far. I need to be paid.

George sighs

George: later

Kramer: Oh no, I’m sorry but I need the money now.

George frowns, he asks Madelyn to hold “his daughter” while he pulls out his wallet. He hands Kramer a 10 dollar bill.

George: Here.

Kramer: I’m sorry but I need all of it right now, got some hot plans for tonight <he smiles>

George: Fine. <he pulls out 2 20s> Thank you so much. <he frowns so only Kramer can see>

Kramer: No thank you.

Madelyn, Dara, George and Chase exit. Kramer walks over to the coffee table where he picks up a sign he made then exits

 

Interior of Jerry’s apartment and Elaine enters. Jerry puts down the comic he was reading

Jerry: Ready?

Elaine: Yup, movie should start in a half an hour

They exit and outside they see Kramer tapping up a sign on his door. The sign reads ‘Kramer’s Kiddy Kare’

Jerry <after reading the sign> KKK? That can’t be good for business.

Elaine: That can’t be good for anybody.

Kramer: No no, I think its catchy.

Elaine and Jerry shrug

Jerry: alright see ya later.

Kramer nods bye as Jerry and Elaine walk away.

Jerry and Elaine are standing in a line outside the movie theater

Jerry: I knew we shouldn’t have stopped for the coffee, I apologize.

Just then George, Dara, Madelyn and Chase come out of the theater. Dara sees Elaine and walks over to her

Dara: Aunt Elaine, where’s mommy?

Elaine: She’-

George interrupts

George: In haven, we’ve talked about this before sweetie.

Dara looks at George strangely

Dara: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

George <to Elaine>:I’m sorry about your sister, sister in law Elaine.

Elaine: What? Oh yeah that.

 

Kramer is at a grocery store when he sees a sale on Twinkies and Kool-Aid. He stumbles upon them as he starts loading up his cart.

Kramer: And now for lunch <he looks around and notices big cans of beans for a very good price he snaps his fingers> Bingo. <he grabs some cans of beans and leaves>

 

George. Madyln and the kids are walking down the street. They all see a street vendor. They decide to stop and have a snack. Dara tugs on George’s sleeve

Dara: I’m thirsty.

George: Ok <he looks at the vendor> two tall Pepsi’s.

The vendor gives him the Pepsis’ and George gives one to Dara. She stars at it for a minute and then George

Dara: Mommy says soda makes me to active

George: Just drink it! <she notices Madelyn giving him a strange look> kid still is in denial about her mother. <he looks sad> poor Annie. <Dara sips her 20 once soda>

 

 

 

 

It is late and Elaine is sitting on the couch with a very active Dara running around. Elaine looks at her watch

Elaine: Dara its 3am, aren’t you tired yet?

Dara: NO!

Elaine sighs

 

On the bottom of the screen, it reads 6am. The room is dark and Elaine is asleep on the couch, snoring. Besides the couch Dara is just starting to nod off. She finally falls over asleep.

 

Jerry’s apartment 10am, George enters

George: Jerry it worked! I’m in!

Jerry: So you just pretend to be a father and she fell for it?

George: Like a rock! I’m so in!

He takes a seat on the couch. Elaine enters, her hair is frizzy and she looks tired.

Elaine: You!

Both Jerry and George look over to see Elaine is angry with George

George: What me?

Elaine: I am going to kill you!

She walks over to him arms stretched out. George backs up as Jerry stands in the middle of them

Jerry: As much as I would like to see George decapitated, I have to say not in my apartment.

George: What did I do?

Elaine: You gave Dara soda! She was up half the night, which kept me up, and I couldn’t get any sleep! You are so dead!

Jerry: Elaine not in my apartment

Elaine: Oh I’ll get you George, some day when you least expect it. You may be at home or walking down the street but I will get you.

Elaine exits

George and Jerry shrug

Krmaer is in his apartment cleaning up stuff and putting stuff away when he sees his stuffed crocodile from the bathtub looking at him. He thinks it is scared so he grabs a white sheet and puts it over the crocodile. Then Kramer goes into the kitchen to make a batch of red Kool-Aid.

 

Outside of Kramer’s apartment an African-American women walks up to the door with her son. She sees the KKK sign but thinks its just her imagination. She knocks on the door. Kramer opens the door holding the stuffed Crocodile under his arm with the white sheet over it. The women looks horrified as she looks down to see that whatever is under the blanket is dripping what appears to be red liquid-the Kool-Aid. The women screams, slaps Kramer across the face then grabs her son and leaves.

 

Kramers apartment, a few hours later.

Kramer offers the children a snack of twinkles and Kool-Aid.

 

10 minutes later…

The children are all going haywire and jumping around everywhere, breaking things.

 

Elaine’s office

A very tired Elaine is sitting at her desk. She yawns a bit and then falls forward, asleep.

Jerry’s apartment-later that afternoon

Elaine and Jerry are in the apartment with Jerry in the kitchen and Elaine in the chair besides the sofa. Kramer comes in with his hair all messed up and his cloths torn and he looks tired.

Jerry: What the hell happened to you?

Kramer: Those little monsters. They wouldn’t stop bouncing and I kept telling them to get down and off of this and that. They’re terrorist Jerry! Terrorist!

He sighed as he sat down on the couch

Kramer: I never want to see another kid again as long as I live

He then notices Dara sitting right next to him. He screams then hops up and runs out of the apartment.

 

Street

Kramer is walking down a street when an add in a store window catches his eyes. The add says ‘Dozzy Doggie’ there is a picture of a dog sleeping then the words ‘Are you tired of taking your dog on a long trip and then having him bark all the time? Then just give him some of these pills and he’ll fall right to sleep!’ Below is a add that it is 30% off-Kramer thinks to himself a moment before going into the shop and buying Dozzy Doggie.

 

George’s apartment

George and Madelyn are sitting on the couch. Madelyn looks around the apartment

Madelyn: George it doesn’t seem like you have a four year old daughter at all, this place is to clean.

George: What? Oh yeah, my little angle loves to clean up. In fact, we don’t need a maid anymore.

Madelyn: That’s great George; maybe she can show my Chase a thing or two about cleaning up. What is it that you do again?

George: I’m an architect.

 

Elaine’s apartment

Elaine steps out of the spare bedroom, she just put her niece to bed. Elaine looks very tired.

She comes up to the door 20 minutes later and hears sleeping noises from Dara. Elaine is so happy that the girl is asleep that she does a little tired dance and mouths the word ‘Yes!’

 

Chimerical break

 

 

Kramer’s apartment-next day

Kramer puts the doggy sleeping pills into the twinkies to give to the children. They each eat one

 

Later on…

Kramer is very happy that they are all asleep. A very strong stench comes from one of the children’s bottoms. He plugs up his nose as he runs into the bathroom and gets a can of Febreeze. He walks over to the kid and sprays the kids’ bottom with the spray. He then walks away and hopes the smell will go away.

 

Jerrys apartment

Kramer comes in to find that Jerry is playing checkers by himself. Jerry sniffs the air then covers his nose

Jerry: What the hell is that stench?

Kramer smells himself then backs off

Kramer: That must have been from the kids. I gave them beans for lunch and they were just going everywhere then.

Jerry: Yuck, didn’t you change them?

Kramer: Are you kidding? I used the febreeze spray in the bathroom; it is now my best friend. You know it must be a nightmare to have a real family.

Jerry: Go take your smell somewhere else.

Kramer shrugs, grabs some stuff from the fridge and leaves.

 

Movies

George and Madelyn go to see a movie. They are in the theater.

Madelyn: To bad Dara didn’t want to come with us.

George: Yeah well she loves her aunt.

Madelyn: George, lets make out.

George: Well ok if that’s what you want.

They make out.

 

Elaine’s apartment-next day

Elaine can’t find a babysitter for Dara. So in a last resort she takes Dara to Kramer’s Kiddie Kare. Elaine is hoping that Dara will be alright and Kramer will not do anything stupid. Dara shows her rag doll to Elaine

Dara: Her name is Emily can I take her?

Elaine: yeah sure whatever.

Dara is happy.

 

Kramer’s apartment

Kramer passes out the twinkies. Dara doesn’t want one so Kramer eats it. He forgets about the pills. A few minutes later Kramer and all the kids except Dara are asleep.

 

Kramer’s bathroom

Dara goes into the bathroom but out of the corner of her eye she sees the crocodile. She sets her rag doll on the side of the tub to look at the crocodile. She accidentally bumps her rag doll in. Dara looks horrified

Dara: Emily!!

She looks down to see that the crocodile looks like it is going to eat Emily for lunch. Horrified Dara looks around for anything that she can use to get Emily out of the tub. Dara notices a sharp knife on the counter. She grabs the knife and climbs into the tub to attacks the stuffed crocodile.

A few minutes later the stuffed crocodile is all torn apart and little bits of stuffing are floating around in the tub. Dara starts crying and sure enough Kramer comes in. He looks horrified. He reaches in and pulls Dara out of the tub.

Kramer: What did you do? Do you know how much Elaine’s going to kill me for this?

 

Hallway outside of the apartment

Mothers start arriving to pick up their children. The doorbell rings and a child opens the door. The mothers smell the awful stench of Kramer’s apartment. One mother grabs her son by the arm.

Mother: I’m so sorry I let that awful man take care of you! Come on, we’re going to Chuckie Cheese.

Son: Yeah!

Dara comes out of the apartment screaming, crying and dripping wet. Elaine bends down and picks her up. The other mothers look horrified. One of the single fathers looks at Dara as he speaks to Elaine.

Single dad: Oh I’ve got some extra cloths for my daughter, maybe your daughter will fit in them.

Elaine turns: Why thank you-

She sees how handsome he is.

Kramer comes out. A lady shakes her fist at him

Lady: You’re going to pay for this you will!

The other mothers shout their own threats of vengeance at Kramer before they leave.

 

Hallway

Once all of the mothers are gone, Kramer decides to go out for a walk. He leaves all of the fans on in his apartment to get rid of the stench.

 

Kramer’s apartment

Newman comes in to find that his stuffed crocodile is no more. He swears vengeance under his breath as he searches the apartment for something of Kramer’s to destroy.

 

Street

Elaine is carrying Dara wrapped up in a blanket while the single father is walking them home. He has his daughter in his arms. George and Madelyn are walking in the opposite direction.

Madelyn: Isn’t that your sister with your daughter?

George: Yes it is.

They walk over to Elaine and the other guy.

George: Thank you for taking care of my darling for today. <he holds open his arms> Come here angel!

Dara looks at George but holds on tighter to Elaine.

Elaine: Oh give it up George.

Madelyn: What is going on here George?

Elaine: I’ll tell you what. George what’s your daughters name?

George: Uh…..uh

Elaine: Her birthday is?

George <shrugs>: Today?

Elaine to Madelyn: This is my sister’s daughter. My sister wanted me to take care of her daughter for a few weeks. George just saw you and thought that if he pretended to have a daughter you’d like him.

Madelyn is furious: George is this true?

George sighs: Sure I guess.

Madelyn slaps him across the face and walks off.

 

Kramer’s apartment

The phone rings and Newman picks it up. It is the angry mothers on the other end. Newman reviles the location of Kramer. Then the mothers hang up without thanking Newman for the information.

 

Street

Kramer is walking down the street when the angry murderous mob of mothers rounds the corner.

Mother: There he is! Lets get him!

The mothers start to chase Kramer and he runs for his life.

End of episode

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ending Credits

A very beaten up Kramer is taking down his Kramer’s Kiddie Kare sign from his door. Jerry walks out and says hey to Kramer. Jerry notices Kramer is beat up. Halfway down the hall Jerry stops

Jerry: Damn I forgot to make out this weeks shopping list.