Ten signs that you are the living DEAD
10. Vultures follow you everywhere.
9. You think you've gone blind until you realize that you left your eyes in your other pants pocket
8. You keep cursing BurgerMania because they don't sell a "brain burger"
7. Your left arm keeps falling off while you're vacuuming the dead skin off the living room carpet.
6. The fastest you can run is just a shuffle comapred to a living person.
5. People in military uniforms and a group called S.T.A.R.S keep trying to blow your head off.
4. Stray dogs chase you for blocks at a time.
3. You think your intestine makes a lovely jump rope.
2. Your vocabulary consists of "uugh" "aargh" "uuuuuuh" and "Brains!"
1. You find your girlfriend's spleen would taste better with a little salt.

"Ten things..." is a Copyright of Peter J. Duquette, so if you print, copy or take this document, make sure to include this last line to confirm that you aren't trying to claim it as your own.