Ten signs that you are having a pretty shitty vacation...

10. You fly with "I think I can" Airlines.
9. You and your family are seated beside some people that continuously shift their eyes from their watches to the exit, and to their lead suitcases and back again.
8. The stewardess chokes to death on the emergency air mask during demonstration.
7. You finally arrive at your destination - Mosquito Swamp, Louisiana.
6. The best restaurant in town is called 'Ol' swampy's houce of tobbasco sauce'.
5. Your oldest son visits the local whore house and contracts 47 different STDs.
4. The hotel you are staying at is cleverly named 'The Gator Baits Hotel'.
3. Coming back into Canada, customs checks you "inside" and out because you look suspicious.
2. The only photos you managed to take are of your wife having sex with the room service guy.
1. You come back to realize that your house has been stolen.

"Ten things..." is a Copyright of Peter J. Duquette, so if you print, copy or take this document, make sure to include this last line to confirm that you aren't trying to claim it as your own.