Ten signs that your wife/girlfriend doesn't love you anymore...

10. She runs over your dog with a carpet Shampooer.
9. She puts you on a strict diet of arsenic.
8. She buys you a one-way ticket to Guam for your anniversary.
7. She puts a bomb in your egg salad.
6. She replaces your toothpaste with Ben-gay.
5. You came home to realize she left you... a house full of land mines.
4. You come home to realize she left you... and took the house with her.
3. She hurls a railroad spike through your chest.
2. She replaces your belt with a King Cobra.
1. She straps you to the hood of your car and drives 90 miles an hour into a cinder block wall and doesn't even say sorry.

"Ten things..." is a Copyright of Peter J. Duquette, so if you print, copy or take this document, make sure to include this last line to confirm that you aren't trying to claim it as your own.