Ten unfortunate ways of dying

10. Falling off a building landing in a truck full of medical waste.
9. Ran over by a parade of people in wheelchairs.
8. Actually getting a needle in the eye after breaking a promise.
7. Castration via papercut.
6. Getting kicked in the balls repeatedly by an NFL team kicker.
5. Getting hit by a go-kart.
4. Accidentally bringing your backpack to a skydiving session instead of your 'chute.
3. Getting eaten alive by a pack of rabid hampsters.
2. Getting mortally wounded by a shoe during a striptease.
1. Being buried alive under a display of soup cans at the supermarket.

"Ten things..." is a Copyright of Peter J. Duquette, so if you print, copy or take this document, make sure to include this last line to confirm that you aren't trying to claim it as your own.