Ten signs that your wedding/marriage is just gonna get worse...

10. Your brides maids pass out from their sweltering 40 lb aquamarine dresses.
9. The priest starts a telethon for those who object to your marriage to call in.
8. The cake says "Happy Birthday, Timmy!" instead of "Congratulations"
7. Your husband books the honeymoon in Alaska.
6. Your husband-to-be is caught having sex with the best man.
5. The old lady playing the organ spontaneously combusts.
4. The church you booked for the wedding is named after Charles Manson.
3. The ring bearer is a 62 year old drunken holmless man.
2. The father of the bride suffers a fatal heart attack while escorting the bride down the aisle.
1. The church turns out to be built on an ancient indian burial groundand suddenly collapses on itself.

"Ten things..." is a Copyright of Peter J. Duquette, so if you print, copy or take this document, make sure to include this last line to confirm that you aren't trying to claim it as your own.