Lost in my own world
Lost in my own world
Lost in my
Getting to the right
Getting to the wrong
Getting high

Slamming his door and leaning against it, Megatron gave a shuddering sigh. He felt like a fool, walking out of there, but he couldn’t stop himself … It was too much, too soon … their happy faces … the songs … Starscream blushing … Soundwave smiling … old enemies now friends … no more fear … Starscream caring about whether he would want to be on his own …
He walked into the centre of his room, and then he gripped his head with both hands, trembling slightly.
What is WRONG with me?! His mind screamed at him … Why …why can’t I handle such things anymore?! Is it … is it because of my emotions? I DON’T HAVE EMOTIONS!
…………… yes I do …………
The part of his mind, the dominant part for the many years he had been at war, was now conflicting against the part of his mind he had locked away for so long; it was tearing him apart. He never knew nor cared for it because the majority of his life had been covered by the war day in and day out, but now that it was gone he was starting to feel it again … and he couldn’t take it.
He fell to his knees, gripping his head. Get out!!! GET THE SLAG OUT OF MY HEAD!!! He let out a choked gasp, shaking, needing to get rid of everything in his mind …
“LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”

Losing your mind
Losing your mind
It's blurring
It's fading
Your soul's on fire
It's black and white

He threw his head back and screamed, finally cracking. He couldn’t deal with this. He couldn’t deal with emotions and he WOULDN’T deal with them!
He stoped screaming, pausing for a moment, and then bringing his head down with a mad glint burning in his optics. If one had seen him now, they would have thought he had seen twenty Optimus Prime’s in front of him.
He gave a deadly snarl, jolting up and running at the wall, slamming his fist into it and creating a deep dent (this was saying something, as the metal was stronger than titanium) and shaking the floor. He gave an insane snicker, looking at the dent, but nor satisfied.
“Get – OUT!” He ground out, spinning around to see his fusion cannon covered by the energon shield. He charged at the wall and slammed his fist into it, breaking the device that held the shield in place, and he grabbed his fusion cannon, ramming it on his arm and once more feeling its power …
“Not going to win …” He spat, growling and spinning around, looking around the room for more enemies …
A flash of images came up in his mind … Optimus fighting him … Autobots cowering before him … Starscream cringing in fear … him blasting other’s heads off with no remorse …
He screamed again, and aimed at the hole in his wall, seeing Prime’s face in it, glaring at him with his azure optics … he powered up his cannon, giving a shiver at the power he had missed for so long, and fired --
His optics widened, and time seemed to slow down tenfold. He saw the purple blast spit out of his cannon, jolting him back slightly, but then it ricocheted off the wall and rebounded upon him, looming upon him like a vast tidal wave of power, and slamming into his chest, ripping though his armour like tin foil. He screamed, although this time it wasn’t from insanity, but from pain. He had not been hit by his cannon directly before, and it threw him back, and he smacked against the side of his bed, landing on the floor.
A ringing silence followed. Megatron’s optics were wide with shock, and he gave a groan, trying to sit up and not happy with finding some severe damage done to his chest. Energon and black fluid leaked down his silver body, startlingly obvious to anyone who would care to look, even if he hid it.
He gasped, touching the wound and wincing as it zapped his fingers. He felt strangely dizzy as he started to lose a lot more fuel … He tried to stand, but his legs protested about it. It wasn’t really the blast that had made him this week, but his mental state was rapidly heading into status mode …
He groaned, and collapsed on the ground, not hearing the door bang open or a familiar voice shout his name …................

Burning inside
Burning inside
Burning into white
Burning inside
Burning inside
Burning into night
Yourself collides
Yourself collides
Yourself into mine
Yourself collides
Yourself collides
Yourself splinters like

***

“Where did he go?!”
“Starscream, calm down!” Soundwave said, emotion actually straining his normally blank voice. “I … I think he went back to the Centre …”
“We need to find him!” Starscream said earnestly, clenching his hands into fists. “You know he’s bound to do something stupid or insane!”
Soundwave sighed. He knew better than to argue with the red seeker when he got frantic and worried about people. He was also worried, but at least he could be more contained than Starscream was acting.
“Okay, we better head back there. Now settle down.”

Blurring the light
Blurring the light
(It's blurring
It's fading)
It's ours for the taking
Flickering colours
It's black and white

***

Starscream nearly sprinted down the halls, Soundwave shouting at him to slow down, but he didn’t listen. He knew something was wrong, terribly wrong, and that he had been the cause of it … how? How could he have let Megatron just go?!
Why do you care so much?
His mind froze. Yes, that was a good question … why?
You still need him … you can’t let him go … to you, he still holds power … and you are drawn to it like a cat to catnip …
Maybe I am … but I don’t care … I think … I think that as soon as he becomes normal, and I help him … I will finally feel free …
Free to start over …
Are you sure of that?
No … but I have to try …

The ominous silence that met his audio receptors as he neared Megatron’s quarters was not a good sign. He sped up, nearly destroying the button that opened the door. He jumped on the balls of his feet as the door slowly opened, anxious, and nearly ripped his wings off when it opened enough for him to run though.
And what his saw made his core turn cold.
“MEGATRON!!!”

I … am lost …
I am so numb
I am so numb
I am so numb
I’m ……so numb …

-------------------

Songs -
Static X - Black and White
Fear Factory - Zero Signal