“Good work Soundwave,” Megatron growled. “Now, never question my orders again like you did to me the other day, or I might reconsider not destroying you for it.”
The Cassette holder remained silent. Being able to read minds was one thing he could do, but not many knew that he could also project thoughts into ones mind also. He had just done it to Starscream, with Megatron ‘along for the ride’ so to speak. But that hadn’t stopped Megatron from almost blasting the blue transformer for saying, in his own way, that’s a stupid idea.
Megatron then left the control centre, satisfied with the way things had gone. Oh how he longed to crush the red seeker in his hands! But … but …
Deep, deep down in his spark, Megatron felt a tinge of regret. He stoped dead in his tracks, shocked. He was Megatron! He did not feel regret! But here it was, a tiny glimmer of emotion in his mind. Starscream had been his friend once; outgoing, strong … and loyal.
It was then a question burned inside Megatron’s mind: Why did he hurt him so? He snarled out loud, annoyed at the petty emotions that for some demented reason had arisen from his spark.

***

As the red seeker sat on top of a nearby hill, he felt disgusted with himself. Firstly, he had cried like a protoform baby, secondly, he did it in front of the Autobots! Nothing could disgrace his nature more than that. He thumped his fist into the ground, but suddenly, tears began to flow again … he couldn’t get the torture out of his head.
“Tears,” Starscream muttered, touching one and looking at it on his fingertips. “... Tears are useless...what will they do for me?” He laughed bitterly. “Maybe I am useless...I’m crying like one of those pathetic Autobots …”
He wiped the tears away angrily. “I’m a decepticon! A d-con seeker!”
So why did you rip the insignia off as soon as you got to the base? His mind questioned.
The tears kept falling down his face, glistening in the low light from the earthen sun.
He punched the ground in anger. “But Megatron doesn't seem to think so, does he? .... To him, I’m just a useless piece of slag … Always have been, always will be, right? Just a useless piece of slag that deserves to be ejected into space...”
He whipped away his tears, glaring at his damp hand. “I’ll show him he's wrong! YOU"RE WRO...” Suddenly, memories of what Megatron said to him came back. “Even in your new army, you still are a worthless piece of slag!!”
Most of the Autobots still hated him, not that he could blame them. He only wanted to get the Aerial bots on his side so that they would not shoot him on the way back. After all, they were the only ones who stood a chance against him really … at least in the air. But the others …
Maybe giving into his desires to end his life was appealing …
He stood, and wondered how the best way to do it would be. Blowing off his head seemed appealing, but he thought about something else. The volcanoes …
He took off.

The guilt has lasted, you still cry,
It was all planned out,
Why was I last to know,
Don't you trust in me?
The table's cold, it's too late,
To make up for these mistakes,
Maybe you can't understand (how it feels)

***

“Where did Starscream go?” Optimus enquired to Skyfire, who looked worried.
“I have no idea …” Skyfire said, his optics dim, “He flew off after you saw him dry. I don’t think he liked being seen like that.” He sighed. “He’s still got that streak of Decepticon pride in him …”
“I still don’t see why you care about him.”
Brawn and most of the Autobots had entered the room. Most were glad the seeker was gone.
“I mean, he’s a Decepticon!” Brawn continued. “Who should -“
“That enough, Brawn!” Skyfire said angrily. Everyone in the room looked shocked. Skyfire very rarely got angry with anyone.
“Starscream may have been a Decepticon, but he was a scientist long before that, my companion!” He said. “I know him better than anyone, and he was different back then; kind, confident, caring – it was Megatron who did the damage to him. I believe that he is starting to get his old self back, but he needs time. Sure, he’s done many terrible things in the past, but he’s left Megatron now. And I believe we should give him a chance, crimes or no.”
His words were greeted with silence. It was clear that Skyfire’s words had at least some impact on them.
“How can you be sure?” Bumblebee asked quietly.
Skyfire sighed, “I’m not, but I think he deserves at least one chance …”

***

Starscream stood on the edge of the volcano. The lava looked beautiful as it bubbled and burst, throwing up tongues of flame in its wake. No one would guess that this hell would be so magnificent in the eyes of a fallen angel.
Starscream placed one hand out in front of him, and formed an empty energon cube. The gases here could create a toxic energon, and that was exactly what he wanted.
Slowly, energon flowed into the cube. Unlike the usual pink as its colour, this energon was a toxic green. Rarely could anything change the natural colour, and the acids and gases from the volcano were one of the few things that could change it.
Once the cube was full, Starscream stared at it. The glow from it cast a green light on his blue hands, and as the seeker stared into its depths, he found himself thinking that it would be the last thing he would see.
No.
He wanted to get out of this heat first. And so, carefully storing the cube in his cockpit, the seeker flew away from Hawaii, and then across the ocean. Starscream saw himself reflected in the glittering blue depths, and hated it. He flew up, and found himself on another island, close to the shore. He transformed back into his robot mode and landed, taking the cube out of his cockpit as he did.
He raised it to his lips …
Is this really what you want?
Starscream whirled around at the voice. It had been his own, but different …
It’s too bad you forgot all about me … your other side …
“Who? …” Starscream shut off his optics, and darkness clouded his mind. But then, a bright figure appeared in front of him. It was himself, but a lot younger. He realised it was the scientist in him … the part of himself that he had nearly forgotten …
“How?” Starscream, the older one, looked around in the void. What was happening?
The young Starscream smiled at him, “Are you gonna be a weak d-con seeker and end your life the easy way? You’ve lived though too much to end your life now, don’t you think so?”
“I …” Starscream found himself talking back, as weird as it seemed. “I just wanted to end this pain …”
The smile on the other became sad. It moved forward, taking the hand of the older one and saying, “You have so much going for you Starscream … let me take you back to the past you forgot …”

Song - Speculum by Adema

Special thanks also to MiT For some ideas on the Dialogue, and to Sunstorm's incredible fic Seeker of Vengence for a few inspirational ideas.