Part 3
I'm
always gunna be one life behind
It's
why I'm all alone
What's
it gunna take to make you see
That
we are falling apart?
“How long was I out?” Megatron asked the purple Guardian of Cybertron.
They were walking towards the warp gate, followed by a bunch of drones in their wake. The leader of the Decepticons had to get back to Earth as soon as possible … to set things right.
And to talk to the seeker.
And maybe, just maybe … fix all that was wrong.
“Several cycles, not including the time you were in that Volcano.” Shockwave quickly calculated and informed his leader.
“Too long.” Megatron mused.
They had reached their destination, and Megatron stepped inside the space bridge.
“Shockwave!” He called. “Make sure you let no Decepticon nor Autobot come on this bridge for the next full astro cycle. I have a feeling one may try to run away to Cybertron.”
“Yes sir!” Shockwave saluted, but wondered about the odd request. Luckily, his lack of facial features showed none of his surprised expression. It always made it easy to think and scheme when you had only one eye to convey your feelings. And it also made hiding a lot of information that a person could usually read from another easily much, much harder to detect.
Shockwave started up the
***
Everyone knew who it was even before he had returned to base. The seekers had radioed ahead to report that Megatron was alive and kicking, as Skywarp phased it. They just happened to be on guard duty when he arrived, and were now flying back with him.
Everyone greeted him with a cheer. There was a storm of questions, like how he had survived and how come it took so long to return. Megatron himself asked questions on how it was here, and if Starscream had led them well. They mostly bagged him but some grudgingly admitted that he had been alright. Not as good as him (how could you NOT say that when being pointed at with a fusion cannon?) of course, but okay.
After a good round of getting up to date on the news and whatnot, Megatron headed off to find the elusive seeker.
He did not have to search long, for his pager beeped and Megatron saw that Starscream knew he was here, and that he was waiting in one of the storage rooms. He must’ve gone there because he knew Megatron would’ve wanted to talk. The Decepticon leader did not know what he would say, but he did know that if he did not get everything out now, he would not get much more done around here with a sulking air commander.
And so, the new leader stopped at the door and entered.
Starscream had heard him coming. Knew what he wanted. And he didn’t know if he could deal with him at the moment. He had wanted him back to take the pressure off, but now that he WAS back … he didn’t know what to say to him anymore.
I
wondered can we throw away the past
So
we can stop the screaming match?
I'm
not gunna break down anymore
I've
found my way to the door
Megatron closed the door, and saw that the red seeker was sitting on a crate with his back to him. He was high up, probably as a way of escape in a way. But he also knew that flying creatures liked to be high in such a confined place. Underwater was not something he practically enjoyed, Megatron knew.
He shut the door quietly and looked up at him. Starscream felt like two hot coals had been pressed into the back of his neck as soon as those crimson optics had locked on. That’s how he always felt around his leader, but now it was terribly more so. More so because he could not bear to see his leader in the metal again … it was all too much.
Megatron felt a twinge of … sadness. Yes, it was not from him directly, but he felt it like a poisonous gas in the room. It was all from the seeker, that he knew, but it was so … regretful, and full of hurt.
“Starscream …” He murmured. He did not have to speak loudly in this place, for voices tended to carry if there was only a few in the room.
The seeker’s head jolted upwards a little, then slowly turned around. Megatron could see that his optics were not as bright as they should be, but he consented. His face held no expression, but it was clear from the metallic aura he threw off that there was many mixed feelings about the situation.
I
can’t see through both of us
It's
an issue of our trust
It's
killing me
It's
killing me to watch you leave me
Starscream looked down for a second, then he turned his body around and hopped down. He stood in front of about four large crates that were almost to the roof, and looked over at his leader. Everything radiated sadness and regret, plus many more feelings, and a tiny part of Starscream wished he could simply ran over to him and bawl in his arms for a few hours until he felt like explaining. But he knew he could never do that. Ever.
They stood a fair distance apart, so Megatron knew that he was free to say some things to him, but he wanted the seeker to start.
Starscream heaved a deep sigh. “Welcome back, I guess.”
Anger swelled within Megatron. He had dragged his chassis all the way down here to talk, and that’s all he could say?!
But he saw that Starscream was as confused and speechless as he was, and bit back his verbal torture.
Starscream looked at him. He saw it in his optics as clear as crystal; fear. Fear of what was going to come out in this talk. But … he knew it must.
“I … I guess I should say …” He hesitated. “Oh Primus …” He muttered, and began to pace over to the other side of the room. “I don’t know what to say!”
He was angry with himself.
Megatron watched him, and spoke, “I’ve been thinking Starscream.”
The seeker stopped his pace.
The leader continued. “About us. A lot about you … and I realise …”
This was VERY hard for the leader, as he was not used to admitting his feelings in such a raw and sudden way.
“I’ve … realised, that I … didn’t ….”
Starscream had turned around by now, and had taken a few tensive steps towards him. He knew what Megatron wanted to say, but to say it for him would earn him a blasted something or other from his fusion cannon.
“Treat … treat you … AH!” He smashed his fist against the wall of the room and said harshly, “Never mind!”
“’Treat you very well’. Is that what you wanted to say?” It was blurted out quickly; as if to get it over with as soon as possible so he could brace himself to duck.
I
tried to talk about what's really wrong
I
see that look of discontent
Megatron looked over at the seeker with venom in his optics. Starscream looked frightened.
“I mean – that’s not what I meant to say –“
“What then?” The leader growled.
Starscream took a deep breath, then said in a forcefully even tone, “You’re not making this any easier for us, Megatron.”
The
volume starts to rise and then it's on
That's
why I have to go
“Excuse me, but I don’t believe I was the one who ran out of the slagging base to join those wretched Autobots!” He snarled, his fists clenched, matching Starscream’s rage.
“I would never have had to do that if you hadn’t treated me like a drone!” The seeker shrieked, his fists and shoulders tensed and drawn back.
That did it. Megatron lunged at the seeker and tackled him to the floor, pinning his limbs with no trouble at all.
“You were always selfish Starscream.” Megatron spat, glaring at the seeker below him whose teeth were bared. “Selfish of everything that was given to you and never returned it. Like some disgusting virus that could never be eradicated because it was too hungry to let go, draining the victim DRY!”
Starscream was angry at this time, but
tears had started to run down his face. Was Megatron for real?
”Selfish?!” He burst out, tears spraying over his
helmet. “So you calling being thrown around by a snow storm, coming back to
Cybertron totally beaten and gone for without someone you truly loved – YES I
MEAN LOVED! -” For Megatron and flinched at the mere word. “-and have to be
thrown into a new life that you can barely understand even though you try so
hard to do so, and have to learn so fast, even though your leader was nice to
you and then becomes a total bastard the next day?! You’re such a hypocrite to
your own words! I tried to survive in your shadow, having to deal with your
desire to beat the living scrap out of something every time the Autobots eluded
you on the last mission. Who did you blame when it was clear that another ‘con
had been the one at fault? Who did you think was the one who caused the drama?
Me! It was always me and me alone!”
His voice dropped low and waspish. His optics were narrowed and bright with rage like the infernos of hell.
“So who is selfish now, Megatron?” He hissed, “You or I?”
Dealing
with the pain is all that's left
Because
we cannot get along
You
want to put the blame on me again
I
think that we have reached the end
Megatron was silent. He sat up, no emotion on his face, nor did he wish to show anything. As much as he deeply hated it, the seeker’s words had rung true. And he could not bear it.
Starscream sat up also, wiping his optics dry. “If only you treated me like I was the Second in command instead of a grunt, then maybe this would never have happened …”
That’s when the real regret hit for the both of them. Neither really had communicated in the past and it left a rift as big as *Valles Marineris.
“How could I ever trust someone like you?” Megatron said quietly.
“How could you not?!” Instantly Starscream had flared up again like a quelling fire with new fuel. He was so sick of all of this mind torture. “What was I when I first arrived? A spark-broken scientist seeker transformer with no desire for life anymore? What was there not to trust?! Surely someone like you would’ve recognised what he could mould me into … but you didn’t … you didn’t … you moulded me into a grovelling traitor with no self esteem …”
Starscream looked up at his leader, his optics pleading. “Why did you make me out to be something I wasn’t? Why did you want me to grow into something like that if it was what you hated?”
“Primus dammit Starscream!” Megatron snarled. “How was I to know what you would end up like?!”
“By beating me up did you think I was going to end up to be your best pal like Soundwave?” He said coolly, with a tinge of jealousy.
Soundwave. No wonder he hated him. The tape deck must’ve been everything Starscream wanted to be in the terms of a second in command.
I
can’t see through both of us
It's
an issue of our trust
It's
killing me
It's
killing me to watch you leave
I
can’t see through both of us
It's
an issue of our trust
You
keep blaming me
Blaming
me for what you do to me
Starscream did not hide his jealousy. He was very possessive, and as far as he was concerned, Megatron’s attention way back then had been his and his alone. Even after he had been beaten countless times he craved his attention again like he got it back when they had first met. It made him literally burn to see the two of them together and so co-operative all the darn time. Starscream hated it. He hated Soundwave and he hated that maybe Megatron was right about his selfish side. Yet, the way his leader had stated it, it was as if he had to have everything for himself, which was not true.
In fact, it seemed his leader had been right about a lot of things that also made Starscream’s oil boil in anger.
Megatron looked at the seeker as his optics were glazed with heavy jealousy and dislike. He knew that the seeker’s dislike for his Third in command could never be repaired, but he wanted the seeker to know that he was not all to blame.
“You can’t blame me for every little thing that has gone wrong in your miserable life, seeker!” Megatron said lowly, his face pulsing with anger. “I cannot change what has happened.
Starscream literally screamed, he smashed his fists into the floor and shoved his face right up to Megatron’s, spitting the words out at the top of his voice. “I’m not asking you to change my past, Megatron! I’m asking you to accept me as a slagging Second in command like you ranked me!!! I know I can’t blame you for Skyfire’s loss, I know I can’t blame you for some of the things that have happened, but I can and WILL blame you for treating me like rust! I WILL blame you for not respecting me even when I respected you!”
“You didn’t deserve it!” Megatron bellowed back.
“Then why did you make me A SLAGGING SECOND THEN?! EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T TREAT ME LIKE IT?!”
A ringing silence fell. Starscream was shaking badly and Megatron was glaring at him again. He then stood up and turned his back on Starscream, and left the room without another word of backwards glance.
It's
your turn to
Watch
me leave you
It's
your turn to
Watch
me leave you
It's
your turn to
Watch
me leave you
“M … Megatron?” Starscream said to the empty room, his voice scared and regretful. But he knew he wasn’t there. He was still shaking, and he realised just how bad he had treated Megatron, when he went to the trouble to talk to him and try to confide in him … he tried to tell himself that Megatron hadn’t made anything easier, but it did not stop him putting his head down on his arms and cry. It was pathetic and he knew it, sitting with his body half turned and his arms around his head on one of the smaller crates, crying, but he could not help it. Everything had gone so horribly wrong.
And yet, deep down, he knew the words had to have been said.
Megatron had perhaps spent an hour in his quarters, merely sitting on his bed with a cube of Energon in his hand, knowing what was wrong but not willing to act on it. He was too cold to want to care about people, but … he did, and he now knew that he had a duty to care for his solders. It was a delicate balance of being a total bastard and somewhat normal, but now was the time to put aside his bastard side and be normal. And so, with the cube in hand, he quickly returned to the store room where he knew the seeker would still be.
Starscream had fallen into recharge for a while, but had woken up a little while ago, and had lapsed into a world of misery again. He kept getting flashes of white, and knew that it was from the snowstorm. What else could it be from? He didn’t even hear the door open as he was thinking and also trembling. But he did see the cube of Energon put in front of him and the arm on his back. He knew who it was instantly. No one else had such black hands in the entire base, not even Thundercracker, whose hands were more of a dark grey.
So he does care, after all this …Starscream felt a pang when he realised. And he instantly began to shudder with heavy sobs as he released all of his pent up emotions though the Energon that poured out of his face. He didn’t even register that the person had drown him close, or as close as he could want without making him want to puke up his daily Energon. Starscream curled up, and for a while, he forgot what had happened, and shivered in his leader’s embrace. He felt him tighten his grip, and Starscream began to ease up.
Megatron did not know how to handle the seeker, for he was used to such rough treatment most of the time. But when he got back to him, it all came so normal to him. Sure, he was rather stiff about it, not wanting to stay too long, but he found that if actually felt like, for once, he was doing the right thing. Once he saw that Starscream had calmed down, he resisted the urge to rip him off, for that would probably not go down very well. Instead, he grasped his shoulders and made the seeker face him. He looked ready to listen, at least, and ready to hear what he had to say.
“I know I can’t change what I have done in the past,” He said softly, as though he wanted to make sure that only Starscream would ever hear this. “But I can change the future.”
Starscream nodded. There were some unspoken words there, but he found that he did not need Megatron to say them.
I’m
willing to go for a second chance. Are you?
Yes. The seeker was ready.
I
can see through all the loss
It's
an issue of our trust
It's
killing me
It's
killing me to watch you leave
I
can’t see through both of us
It's
an issue of our trust
You
keep blaming me
Blaming
me for what you do to me
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Song – Blame me by Adema
*This is an enormous canyon on Mars. 2,500
miles (4,000km) in length and 4 miles (7km) deep at the deepest parts.