Part 1

An aftermath was sometimes not a pretty picture, and in other times, was. This time, however, it was met with many emotions, from both sides of the war.
The Autobots were at a loss for words. They had managed to tap into the signals from Laserbeak as it was recording the battle, and having watched it all being played out was quite the sight.
“So Starscream is the leader … for now.” Optimus murmured, more to himself than anything. The others turned to him, surprised. He didn’t even seem concerned!
“But sir-“ Bumblebee began, but Optimus cut him off.
“I don’t think Megatron is gone, and even so, I don’t think that Starscream’s time with us here was a total waste after all.”
“What do you mean?” Brawn said, outraged. “He left us!”
“Maybe, but it may have shown Starscream that there is more to life than fighting.

***

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
And we’ll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we’ll wish this never ends
We’ll wish this never ends
(I miss you, I miss you)
(I miss you, I miss you)

Times had been hectic, and the new leader of the Decepticons had felt it. That week, after the great battle between him and Megatron, the Decepticons had been in shock. None of them had expected such a battle. It was such, which it could not be put in words … no words could describe how they felt …
And now that Starscream finally had a moment to himself, he reflected back on the week. The week that had changed his life in more ways than one …

+++

Flying over the landscape, with limited energy, Starscream did not look back at the spewing volcano. He could not bare the sight of it anymore … no, things had changed so much …
He sped up. Yes, speed usually cleared his mind, but not today. The air did cool his systems, but nothing more. He sped up again, watching the sea come towards him like a never-ending blue sparkly blanket. He could not see how the see could be so peaceful and how the sun could shine when the times had never been darker.
But it was. Starscream hated it.
He hated how that battle had gone. He hated everything about it! It was not the way it had supposed to go!
NO!
……
He could not think. He needed to talk to someone, but first, he knew the Decepticons would confront him the moment he got back. He was the leader now, wasn’t he?
Yeah … as much as that role would have appealed to him in the past, now it was just a wonderful dream that he wished he could fall into. The dream of it being so different, that had gone so terribly wrong in real life.
Suddenly, he found himself back at the entrance to the Decepticon base. Transforming with a sigh, Starscream entered.

He was right. Everyone was waiting for him at the entrance inside the underwater base. They were silent as he arrived, and so was he. The new leader really wasn’t up to talking to anyone, but he knew it had to be done.
But the problem was he couldn’t think of anything to say.
So, he merely stood there.

Soundwave was in shock still. He could not get over the fact that Megatron was gone … for now anyway, and that the seeker was in charge now. Well, he seemed shocked too. He wondered if Megatron’s words and actions had affected him. He knew they had, He could see it in his optics, and in the thoughts at the front of his mind (for he could not see any farther into Starscream’s mind due to mental barriers.) No, the seeker needed space.
“You are tired, Starscream.” Soundwave said suddenly, causing the Air commander to look up at him. “Suggested advice, get some rest.”
Everyone stared at Soundwave. Was this kindness?
No, it was not. Soundwave merely wanted the seeker to rest so that he could get a real answer out of him the moment he had recovered. He didn’t want to get a stumbled-on speech from the seeker; he wanted facts. Even though he had seen it with his own optics, the great battle, he did not believe that Megatron was gone. Nor, it seemed, did Starscream.
“I don’t want to rest.” Starscream said. He addressed everyone in the room. “I want to tell you that Megatron has gone, and that I am leader now. Although I’ve wanted to be leader for a long time …” He paused. He could not think about what words would describe what had happened. “ … I didn’t want it to be this way … but now it seems I have no choice.”
The others listened in silence.
“All of you, get some rest.” He said, in a more authoritive (sp?) tone. One that he used to use all of the time, but had been lacking as of late. Now it was coming back
“It will be a busy day tomorrow.”

***

Curled up like he usually had slept like in his recharge bed, Starscream thought. He could not stop thinking about Megatron at all … and that fight. It was as if someone had stuck his optics on replay for the last few hours after the battle. He could not make sense of it …
Suddenly, his door opened, and Thundercracker and Skywarp walked in. Starscream sat up, and looked over at them.

Primus, he looks so different! TC thought to himself. No longer was there an arrogant smirk on his face, or optics full of mischief for battle or fun. No … they looked so dark and sad, and there was no smirk. Just … an unidentifiable look. A look of sadness and incredible confusion mixed with aftershock.
“Hey. Thought you could use some company.” Thundercracker said.
Skywarp was bursting to say something snappy, but his comments all froze when Starscream looked over at them. No, he found he could not. Not now … not in this situation.
Starscream merely nodded, and looked at his feet. He felt TC sit next to him, and saw Skywarp sit on the ground in front of him. Why were they here?
“Why did you come here?” Starscream murmured quietly. Its not like they had a reason to help him …
Thundercracker was prepared for this question. “You really were amazing against Megatron you know. You amazed all of us.”
Starscream looked up at him in shock and anger.
“I didn’t think that fight was something to be proud of!” He exclaimed. “It …”
He stared at his feet again. He could not admit that he was starting to … miss the strange security that the normal days held. The little confusion of it all … although he could of done without the abuse, didn’t in fact make him stronger?
Maybe …
Suddenly, Thundercracker placed an arm tentatively around the other seeker’s shoulders. Skywarp looked up, and then smiled, saying, “You’re lucky to have us around, Screamer.”
Starscream usually hated contact with people unless he deeply trusted them, and it was only a few that ever could touch him without being blown up from loss of personal space. But he liked the loss of it in this case. It made him feel a bit more wanted in life.
“Thanks.” He said, and TC stared at him. He never said thanks! The red seeker looked up at him, and then said, “I just need some time to sort myself out. I have planned a raid for tomorrow, but I still need some thinking time.”
“Sure Screamer!” Skywarp said, his silly humour never fading. “I better be off. Astrotrain wanted to play a prank on the Stunticons and I could not refuse!”
He quickly departed.
Starscream allowed himself a small grin, before turning to his comrade and lent against his shoulder. He never really showed how much he cared for his seeker brethren, but he did. And now that he was at a very emotional time of his life, he could not help but be grateful for the comfort.
TC was concerned for the seeker. He did it with those whom he felt he had … some sort of tie to. And the seeker, well, he was just their leader. And he was good at it! So, well … Thundercracker had a bit of devotion to him. But not much … still, he felt he should look out for him.
After he had seen what Starscream had gone though with Megatron, his attitude changed. He now saw why Starscream was the way he was, and had urged him to leave when he felt the time had been right. Well, now with all of what had happened happening, TC found that the seeker would need some support, whether he chose it or not. He absently ran his thumb along his commander’s shoulder, while they sat in silence.
Where …Starscream thought. Where are you Megatron?

Where are you?
And I’m so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stare I count it the webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
My indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don’t waste your time on me you’re already the voice inside my head
(I miss you, I miss you)
Don’t waste your time on me you’re already the voice inside my head
(I miss you, I miss you)

+++

That week had gone smoothly … strangely so. Starscream’s orders were obeyed most of the time, but most of the Cons still resented him. Not that he could blame them.
He needed to go outside for a while.
Quickly getting out of the confines of the base, Starscream flew over the sea, trying to think about more of that week. But … for some strange reason he found that he could not. It was all an unimportant blur in his memory banks. Like an old film with several scenes missing from it because the age had wore it away. But Starscream was not suffering from old age, but he felt so either way.
Was this how Megatron used to feel sometimes? Like his mind was being worn away?
The jet continued to fly with his famous speed across the ocean until he reached the shore. He transformed, landing with grace as he looked over the infinite blue. The sun was setting now, so the mass of water shined with gold and reds from the dying sun.
How can something so tranquil be so violent? Killing people, killing animals too?
He sat down by the world’s edge, and looked up at the sky. He remembered something that Megatron had last said to him just then …
“Starscream! I will return! But until I do, take over for me! The army needs you!”
But when would you return? Starscream thought, and demanded an answer from the stars that were beginning to appear.
“When?”

Don’t waste your time on me you’re already the voice inside my head
(I miss you, I miss you)
Don’t waste your time on me you’re already the voice inside my head
(I miss you, I miss you)

Song - I Miss You by Blink 182