| Growth Experience |
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| Becoming Completely Devoted 04-05 |
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| Alright, so its been just about 8 months that I've been at the Honor Academy, and my experience so far has been one that I will never forget. Gauntlet at the beginning was insane. Getting no more then 5 hours of sleep a night, and waking up at 4:30am to the craziest exercise, and going to classes all day long, was altogether part of a nightmare. I started realizing that I definately have issues in my life that I am far from aware of. What I noticed was that I had lost the my own identity. It't like I didn't even know who I was. I felt like I had lost my personnality. I am still now in the stage of becoming the person I left in 8th grade. It's sad to say that for the past 4 years, I feel like I lived someone elses life. But I now realize its essential. I struggled big time with pride, fear, trust, anger, gossip, etc... All these were slowly becoming aware in my life. Yet as much as I hated this person I was, I realized that there was lots of work to do, and no time to pity myself, or give up. I also realized that my true friends are but few. These brothers that I encounter everyday, I realize are far from being the person I want to become. Thus, everyday, I deal with patience, and with tests of many kind. I work from 8-5 daily, and am still very busy doing many others tasks. In april, I was planning on leaving the Honor Academy, because I didn't see how this place was in any way following a vision that God would have in store. Yet, only a few weeks ago, I was not able to sleep. I felt beating hard on my heart, the voice of the Lord, calling me to stay till august. Though I did not understand, I realized that I must obey. This shock affected many things, such as my future plans to go to Algonquin, my plans to work till august, my plans to get a car, my plans to walk by side with Ben next year, etc... God took me to a place where I am totally not in control, and where I must trust him. This being the hardest thing, I am living fully trusting on God, not knowing where he will take me. |