It all started on a sunny Monday morning......No, make that a Tuesday
morning...and rainy, oh, wait a minute. It was only cloudy, the rain
came later,
and it was chilly too, maybe it was a Thursday.......
JAG HEADQUARTERS
9am
‘Hi flyboy,’ Mac smiled.
‘Ninja girl, how's it going?’ Harm asked.
‘Ok,’ Mac replied.
She gave me that odd smile, that seemingly secret one which made her
lovely
eyes shine and twinkle. My eyes followed her as she walked to her office
with
the subtle elegance she always did such things. I sighed. If only she
knew.............
I felt his eyes following me and wondered in one moment of optimism
if he
loved me as much as I loved him. But it was a fleeting moment and I
sighed as
I came back down to earth.
I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we have talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
There's only so much I can take
And I just go to let it go
And who know I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
No more waiting, no more aching
No more fighting, no more trying.....
Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just going to let it fly
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
Love me.......
Harm's office
9.30am
His mind went into memory drive as he remembered their first meeting,
over
three years ago.......
We were at the edge of the Rose Garden. Mac was standing by a car, looking
around. She had her “don't even try and mess with me look on.”
We began
walking towards her and she gave us a small smile.
‘Are you staying for the reception sir?’ I asked.
‘No, neither are you,’ he replied.
We approached Mac who saluted the Admiral.
‘Afternoon Admiral,’ she said.
‘Afternoon. Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb, Major Sarah Mackenzie,’
he introduced.
Mac extended her hand. ‘Mac,’ she said.
I had a flashback to Dianne looking at me and smiling. Mac looked at
me
strangely. Bud and the Admiral were looking from me to her and back
again.
Mac began to take her hand away so I took it.
‘Harm,’ I said and we shook hands.
The Admiral asked if we knew each other. I said yes, she said no. She
gave
me a ‘What the hell are you talking about?’ look and there was silence
for a
moment.
‘I’m sorry Major I just had a moment of de ja vu,’ I said.
‘Must be the uniform,’ Mac replied.
I told her that the person I was thinking of was in the Navy.
‘Don't get too familiar, you have to work together,’ the Admiral informed
us.
The Admiral leads the way to the car and Mac and I followed. She kept
looking
at me strangely and I was still in disbelief as to how much she looked
like
Dianne. And that was my first meeting with the wonderful and beautiful
Sarah
Mackenzie.
Harm was jerked from his memories by Bud knocking.
‘Sorry Bud what is it?’
‘Um, I know this sounds crazy sir, but, um, Pamela Anderson is here
to see
you sir.’
Harm raised an eyebrow and followed Bud to the bullpen.
A crowd had gathered around her and Mac was one of them. She saw Harm
and gave him a ‘What the hell did you do now?’ look. Harm shrugged
and
pushed to the front of the ring.
‘Ms Anderson?’
She flashed her white teeth at him. ‘Commander Rabb.’
Harriet saw Bud staring and slapped him.
‘Can I help you?’ Harm asked.
‘Uh, yes. I want to sue someone.’
Mac stifled a giggle and Harm glared at her.
‘I’m afraid Ms Anderson that you will have to go to a civilian law
firm for that.’
‘But Commander, I've heard wonderful things about you.’
Harm watched Mac roll her eyes and go back into her office.
‘Um, I'm sorry but we only deal with the jurisdiction of the Navy.’
‘What the hell is going on here?’ the Admiral asked, coming in. ‘Why
are you
all standing around? There's work to do!’
‘Uh sir,’ Bud said. ‘Pamela Anderson is here.’
Admiral Chegwidden raised an eyebrow. ‘Right. Lt. I am going to walk
back
into my office. When I come back out again, not only do I want this
little, uh,
problem sorted but I want my office back to usual. Understood?’
‘Aye sir,’ Bud replied.
Pamela Anderson sat in her car, and quickly took off her mask. ‘Damn
you
Rabb. You're too pure for your own good. A fact that I shall enjoy
capitalizing
on.’
Lt Commander Jordan Parker breezed into JAG headquarters. She flipped
her
hair and entered Harm's office.
‘Hey Harm,’ she said.
Harm looked up and mentally winced. Why oh why couldn't she be Mac!
‘Hi
Jordan,’ he replied.
‘What are you doing?’ she asked, flirting her heart out.
‘Um, work?’
‘Oh Harm you're hilarious!,’ she giggled.
Harm raised an eyebrow. ‘Jordan have you been drinking?’
‘Of course not Harm. I only had some cough medicine.’
Harm sighed and put his head in his hands.
‘Harm do you have the....’ Mac stopped as she saw Jordan.
Harm's face lit up like a child's on Christmas day. ‘Hi Mac!’
‘Uh, I can come back if you want,’ Mac told him.
Harm's face changed to one of pleading. ‘No Mac. Stay. What would you
like?’
Mac raised an eyebrow. ‘Just the Linton file.’
Harm practically jumped up from the table and rummaged around in his
drawers. ‘Here you are Mac. Anything else?’
Mac was, frankly, beginning to worry about Harm's behaviour. Jordan
was
watching all of this with piqued interest.
‘No thanks. Ill see you later.’ Mac replied. ‘Goodbye Commander,’ she
added
frostily, for Jordan's benefit.
‘Commander the Admiral would like to see you in his office,’ Tiner explained.
‘Right. Sorry Jordan,’ Harm replied, sounding anything but.
‘I’ll see you later Harm,’ she smiled, making a big show of touching
his arm for
Mac's benefit whose head had poked up when she saw Tinnier going into
his
office.
Mac scowled and looked back down at her files.
‘Should have know this would have something to do with you,’ Harm groaned
as he saw Clayton Webb standing in the Admiral's office.
‘Nice to see you again too Rabb,’ Webb smiled.
‘Have a seat Commander,’ the Admiral said.
‘What do you want Webb?’ Harm asked.
‘The CIA has made another mess that it needs us to clean up,’ the Admiral
remarked drily.
Webb scowled. 'Do you remember a Mark Sokol?’
Now it was Harm's turn to scowl. ‘Do I ever.’
‘He's hidden himself away in Russia. He says he'll only give us what
we want
if we meet his demand.’
‘What's his demand?’ Harm asked, dreading the answer.
‘You,’ Webb replied simply.
‘We also want you to go because Commander Brumby has gone AWOL,’ the
Admiral explained.
Harm had not had a good day. First he was told to go and see Sokol and
find
Bugme, then when he broke up with his girlfriend she had told
him he would
not get away that easy. He decided to brighten up his day. Harm knocked
on
Mac's door.
‘Hey Harm,’ she smiled as she opened the door.
‘Hey Mac. Listen, I was wondering if we could talk?’
Mac nodded and let him in.
‘Who was that at the...Hi Harm,’ Chloe smirked.
Mac turned around. ‘You're supposed to be in bed.’
Chloe shrugged. ‘He woke me up.’ She looked from Mac to Harm and back
again. ‘And I think Ill go right on back to bed.’ She left the room.
‘So what's up?’ Mac asked, sitting down.
Harm sat down beside her. ‘I broke up with Jordan.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don't be. It was my idea. But that's not it. I've been asked to go
on a kind of
suicide mission.’
Mac's eyes widened. ‘What do you mean kind of?’
‘Sokol’s promised to tell CIA something if he can see me. They also
want me
to try and locate Bugme who went AWOL.’
‘And?’
‘I’m going. But before I go, I think you should know something.’
‘Know what?’
Harm brushed a lock of hair out of her face. ‘How deeply I love you
Sarah.’
And then he kissed her.
I don't want another heartbreak
I don't need another turn to cry
I don't want to learn the hard way
Baby, hello, oh, no, goodbye
But you got me like a rocket
Shooting straight across the sky
It's the way you love me
It's a feeling like this
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual bliss
It's that pivotal moment
It's impossible
This kiss, this kiss (Unstoppable)
This kiss, this kiss
Cinderella said to Snow White
How does love get so off course
All I wanted was a white knight
With a good heart, soft touch, fast horse
Ride me off into the sunset
Baby, I'm forever yours
It's the way you love me
It's a feeling like this
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual bliss
It's that pivotal moment
It's unthinkable
This kiss, this kiss (Unsinkable)
This kiss, this kiss
You can kiss me in the moonlight
On the rooftop under the sky
You can kiss me with the windows open
While the rain comes pouring inside
Kiss me in sweet slow motion
Let's let every thing slide
You got me floating, you got me flying
It's the way you love me
It's a feeling like this
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual bliss
It's that pivotal moment
It's subliminal
This kiss, this kiss (It's Criminal)
This kiss, this kiss
Fireworks exploded in both their minds.
‘Whoa baby! Hubba hubba! Let's get ready to rumble!’ came from the
other
room.
Reluctantly they broke the kiss.
‘Chloe,’ Mac hissed.
‘Sorry,’ she replied, closing the door.
‘I love you Harm,’ Mac smiled.
And then they kissed again.
Moscow, Russia
1pm
CUE TO RUSSIA WITH LOVE
Harm sighed as he walked into the airport. He was now expected to go
and
find Sokol which he was not looking forward to.
‘Commander Rabb?’ a man with a thick Russian accent asked.
Harm nodded.
‘I am Luther Svarsvlosky. I work for Major Sokol. I shall take you
to him.’
Harm raised an eyebrow but followed him.
9.30am
JAG Headquarters
‘Hi Harriet,’ Chloe smiled. ‘This is my best friend Lucy.’
Lucy smiled and waved at Harriet.
‘I’m afraid Major Mackenzie’s in court,’ Harriet explained.
‘We can wait,’ Chloe grinned.
Moscow, Russia
2pm
‘Commander Rabb!’ Sokol smiled, clapping his hands together. ‘Welcome.
You of course, understand why you had to come here blindfolded. Your
friend
Mr Webb is looking for me, but I wanted to see you first.’
Harm nodded, if somewhat sceptically.
‘I suppose you know my friend Palmer?’
Harm scowled.
‘I see that you do. See, Palmer thinks that there is something going
on
between you and my Sarah.’
Harm winced at Sokol calling her ‘his’ Sarah.
‘So I just wanted to tell you something. I have given up on getting
her
attentions. But let me warn you Commander, if you hurt her, I will
hunt you
down and kill you.’
‘I wont be hurting her,’ Harm answered coolly.
‘Wonderful,’ Sokol smiled, sitting down. ‘Now I hear you are looking
for Lt
Cmdr Brumby.’
‘What about him?’ Harm asked.
‘He's at the Grand Canyon.’
‘How do I know that you're not setting me up?’
‘I just gave you my girl.’
‘Exactly,’ Harm replied.
‘I think you should believe me. Palmer is after you and he doesn't
know that
Brumby is at the Grand Canyon. Brumby however, has your girl on his
mind.’
Harm scowled.
JAG Headquarters
10am
‘Major?’ Harriet asked.
Mac looked up.
‘There's a letter for you,’ she said, handing it over.
Harriet left and Mac opened her letter.
Dear Sarah
How I miss you. Your smiles, your laugh,
the way your eyes see right through me, the way your presence makes my
legs feel like they can't possibly hold me any more. Your attitude to life
and your wise-cracking remarks. I always expect you to be there but when
I turn around you aren't. I am here in Russia trying to locate Bugme.
I remember our trip to Russia. Your stubbornness to come with me to find
my father and the comment in the bedroom we had to share about "What pyjamas?".
I must admit Sarah, that if I hadn't been dwelling on my father so much,
something much more than you watching me have a nightmare would have happened
that night. I remember how jealous I was when Sokol was flirting with you
and how even more insanely jealous I was when you had dinner with him.
I wish it had been my lips you wanted to loosen. The time I can never forget
while we were on that trip was when you came out from that caravan with
Ruszca in that gypsy's outfit and smiled at me saying "Tell your fortune
sailor." I'm sure that if you had, you would have been in it.
I will endeavour to buy you lots of comfortable
shoes if you let me be the good man you searched for and let me search
for the hidden places you once mentioned.
Sarah I feel compelled to tell you the truth
as my feelings will no longer let me stay silent. That night on the docks,
you may have looked like my old girlfriend Dianne, but it certainly wasn't
her I was kissing. I was kissing Sarah Mackenzie, the most beautiful, loving
person I have ever met. You light up my life Sarah and I want to do the
same for you.
Forever your flyboy
Harm
Mac smiled and held the letter close to her heart.
Moscow, Russia
10am
Harm smiled as he saw a letter under his door. He opened it at once.
I didn't expect to get your letter. What you wrote in that letter, I have been forcing myself for three years not to believe. I have loved you for the longest time Harm. That night in Russia, I wish that it had been your lips I was loosening too. That night on the dock has haunted me since it happened. I would wish, and hope that maybe, just maybe, it was me who you were kissing. I thought at the time that it was too good to be true. I want to know why you've gone after Brumby, Harm. I don't want you to get hurt. Too many people I have been involved with have got hurt and I don't want you to be one of them. I remember that when we were at Bermuda and I asked you if you were afraid of losing me. You hesitated. What were you going to say Harm? That has plagued my mind for ages. You weren't going to say that you were sick of breaking in you partners, were you? The Admiral is calling me to get in his office. At least I know that I haven't shot a gun off in the courtroom. I miss you Harm. Come back to me soon.
Love, your ninja-girl
Sarah
10pm
Mac's apartment
‘Thankyou for letting me stay over Major,’ Lucy said.
‘Lucy I've told you before, call me Mac like Chloe does.’
‘Ok, Mac.’
‘Now you girls can sleep in there and Ill sleep here okay?’
Chloe nodded.
‘Right. Go and get ready for bed and Ill see you in the morning okay?’
‘Night Mac,’ Chloe said, hugging her.
‘Night Mac,’ Lucy echoed.
The two girls entered Mac's bedroom.
‘Hey,’ Chloe grinned. ‘Check this out!’
‘What?’ Lucy asked.
‘Mac and Harm kissed and Harm sent her a love letter.’
‘Cool.’
‘Let’s have a look,’ Chloe smiled.
The two girls sat on the bed and read the letter.
Mac was cleaning up from dinner when she heard the strange sounds coming
from her room.
‘Are you guys okay?’ she called.
‘We’re fine,’ Chloe giggled.
Mac raised an eyebrow and racked her brains as to what they were giggling
about.
‘The letter!’ she gasped and ran in to find both girls tucked up and
asleep.
Mac sighed, and taking the letter, went to the couch.
12pm
Russia
Harm awoke to a bright light in his motel room.
‘Do not worry Commander. My name is Cigarette Smoking Man and this
Alex
Krycek.’
‘I can introduce myself thank you CSM,’ Alex replied crossly.
‘Sorry,’ CSM replied.
Harm was starting to get more than a little irritated. ‘May I ask what
is going
on.
Alex sat himself down on a chair while CSM began smoking in the doorway.
‘You don't mind if he smokes do you?’ Alex asked.
‘Of course he doesn't you fool! He used to smoke cigars until he was
stopped
by his girlfriend.’
‘Gentlemen?’ Harm asked.
‘Oh, sorry Commander,’ Alex said.
‘Have you been visited by Pamela Anderson lately?’ CSM asked.
‘Yes. Why?’
‘Did you think she wasn't as..uh....busty?’ Alex asked.
‘I must confess I didn't notice,’ Harm answered.
‘See, I told you he loved his partner,’ Alex told CSM. ‘It’s exactly
like Mulder
and Scully. Even the fans noticed it before they did! Or you did for
that matter!
I personally, am a member of the Harm and Mac shipper list,’ Alex stated
proudly.
‘Shut up you bluthering fool,’ CSM replied. ‘Commander, that was not
Pamela
Anderson. It was Clark Palmer.’
‘Why are you telling me this?’ Harm asked.
‘Because the man that keeps calling me a fool and telling me to shut
up cast
an experiment on Palmer. And we want to make sure you don't play with
him.
If you get my meaning,’ Alex said.
‘I can assure you,’ Harm answered, ‘I did not then, nor now have any
intention
of “playing” with her. Or him. You know what I mean.’
‘We understand Commander. Thankyou for your co-operation.’
‘Oh, and if you see Pamela, tell her, him, that his buddy Sarah is
waiting for
him at this address. We'll take it from there,’ Alex answered.
Harm nodded, accepting the car.
CSM watched Alex go around the corner. ‘Oh and Commander?’ he asked.
‘Yes?’
‘I personally prefer the shipperhm list,’ CSM smiled. He winked and
was gone.
Harm raised his eyebrow.
9am
JAG Headquarters
“I have decided,’ the Admiral began. ‘to take the you to the Grand Canyon.’
Harriet, Bud, Mac, Tinnier, looked at him dumbfounded.
‘May one ask why sir?’ Bud asked.
‘I believe that Commander Rabb will need our assistance when he locates
Commander Brumby. Apparantly, according to Mr Webb, Commander Brumby
is in a high state of delusion. He believes that Major Mackenzie is
his girlfriend
and that Commander Rabb is trying to steal her from him.’
‘Why that little s.....’ Mac began.
‘Thankyou Major,’ the Admiral interjected. ‘I am sure we all share
your
sentiments on Commander Brumby but we do not need to be made aware
of
them.’
‘Sorry sir,’ Mac replied.
‘We will meet here bright and early tomorrow morning. Dismissed.’
‘Aye sir,’ they said in unison.
CUE BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER THEME
When Mac left the room, she was greeted with the site of a tall blonde
girl with
Chloe and Lucy. The girl actually reminded her of....no it couldn't
be.
‘Hi. I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. And you are?’ the girl stuck out
her hand.
‘Major Sarah Mackenzie. JAG core.’
‘I brought Buffy with me. Someone told me that Lt Parker might be at
the
Grand Canyon looking for Harm.’
‘I was only too glad to help,’ Buffy answered.
‘Er right. Chloe, the Admiral only invited JAG staff members.’
‘And he invited me, Lucy and Buffy.’
‘Oh.’
Grand Canyon
Next Day, 10am
‘Well no sign of any of them yet,’ Harriet said.
Tinnier was walking around, holding a telephone to the Admiral's ear.
‘What's that?’ Chloe asked Mac, pointing to someone on the horizon,
fooling
around on a motorbike.
‘That's Evil Kineeval,’ Mac explained.
‘Oh. Ok.’
“Sir! Ma'am!’ Harriet!’ Bud came puffing back.
‘Bud what is it?’ Mac asked.
‘A little over that way. Commander Parker and Commander Rabb.’
‘Right. Let's go people.’
Harm was standing watching, bewildered.
“Thank Heavens you arrived Harm! Mac seems to believe you're hers!”
Jordan
cried.
“He is!!! all the shippers say so and shippers are NEVER WRONG!!”
Mac
replied.
“Wah......wah?!? he's mine!” Jordan said, bewildered.
“Are you prepared to fight for him then?? huh?” Mac challenged.
“Well....err.....violent conflict is never the way to solve things!!”
Jordan said,
beginning to get scared.
Chloe, Buffy and Harriet make clucking chicken noises.
“Chicken!! lemme fight her for you!!” Buffy yelled.
Mac turned to Buffy. Don't worry, I can handle her!” She turned to
Jordan.
“Well, are you ready to fight?? ‘Cos Harm's *my*
man!!”
Appropriate (well mostly appropriate ;) ) cheering noises are heard
from
Chloe, Buffy and Harriet.
“Go Major go!” Harriet said.
“Kick her ass!” Buffy called.
“Ditto! what they said!” Chloe cried.
“You gonna fight or not??” Mac asked.
“Well...” Jordan debated.
“Ok then Harm is mine!” Mac said.
“Oh no you don't!” Jordan cried.
Jordan lunged for Mac.
Mac ducked and weaved
Jordan fell to the ground.
“Hah! nice try for a physco squid!” Mac smiled.
Jordan pulled out a gun and screamed” Hows this?!?”
“Not as good as this!” Mac replied and pulled out a surface to air
nuclear
missile.
Jordan made whimpering noises and tried to punch Mac again.
Mac avoided it and landed a right hook. ‘Never mess with a Marine or
a
Marine’s man,’ Mac told her.
Jordan hastily backed up as they circled each other. They lunged at
the same
time and.....engaged in a thumb war!!!
‘You're going down Major,’ Jordan snarled.
‘Oh yeah? We'll see,’ Mac replied.
Jordan and Mac, locked in a thumb wrestle, continue to circle. Jordan
tried to
force Mac's thumb down.
‘Take this!,’ Jordan cried. She failed miserably.
Jordan and Mac break out of the thumb war and continued circling. Mac
lunges and grabbed Jordan's ear.
“Ow, ow ow ow,’ Jordan cried.
‘Who’s man is he?’ Mac asked
‘Mi...” Jordan started.
‘WHOSE?” Mac yelled.
‘Ergh...argh...bleh...he’s mine! He’ll always be...” Jordan tried.
Mac decked Jordan and knocked her out.
‘Oop,’ Mac said. ‘Guess I don't know my own strength.
‘Who cares?’ chorused Chloe and Buffy.
‘You okay?’ Harm asked, breaking out of his surprise and bewilderment.
‘I’m a Marine remember? Me and Jordan just had to get a few things
clear.’
Harm kissed her softly.
Jordan started getting up.
‘I’ll take it from here Major,’ Harriet smiled. ‘Tinky-Winky, Laa-Laa,
Po, Dipsy.
Tubby custard please.’
Four Teletubbies approached Jordan. Giving her four Tubby custards
they
surrounded her.
‘Big hug,’ they chorused and proceeded in smothering her with Tubby
love.
'Commander Bugme!' Chloe cried.
CUE ALL STAR
In true western style, Harm met Bugme on a dusty street in the Grand
Canyon. Harm looks at Bugme with an inquiring look in his eyes.
'And what would you be doing here?' Harm asked.
'Well, it seems Mac prefers you to me and that just isn't right,' Bugme
replied.
'Oh really?' Harm said.
'Really,' Bugme answered.
'Really, really?' Harm asked.
'Really, really, really,' Bugme replied.
'REALLY?' Harm asked.
'Really,' Bugme answered.
'You know, I think it's not right that you think it's not right that
she prefers me to you,' Harm stated.
'Oh really?' Bugme asked.
'Really,' Harm answered.
'Really, really?' Bugme asked.
'Really, really, really,' Harm replied.
"REALLY?'
'Really.'
'Well, you know what? I think this means we have to fight for her,'
Bugme told Harm.
'Don't I have a mind of my own to decide?' Mac asked him.
'Shut up!' Brugme replied.
'She has a point you know,' Harm told him.
'She's going to come with me irregardless of what she wants,' Bugme
explained.
'I'm afraid I can't let that happen. Sorry Mac, I feel I ought to defend
you here, I can't help my feelings.'
'It's okay,' Mac smiled.
'And they say chilvary is dead,' Harm said.
Bugme wonders where CSM man is. Isn't he helping him?
Krycek comes running up to him. 'You're on your own loser, not even
CSM would back you now!'
Harm turns to Bugme. 'Well, are you going to fight that fight you so
wanted or what?'
Bugme shakes in fear as he knows that now he has no help. 'Err, ok.'
Harm and Bugme started circling each other. Bugme takes out a gun and
shoots. Harm ducks and the bullet grazes him. Harm rolled behind a barrel
and starts shooting at Bugme. They kept shooting until they ran out of
bullets.
'Uh oh,' Bugme said.
'Double uh oh,' Harm replied.
Bugme looked at Harm. Harm looked at Bugme. Bugme looked at Harm again.
Harm looked at Bugme and shifted his feet nervously.
'Err,' Bugme said.
'Umm, I think there's only one manly, proper and chilvarous way to
settle this.'
'Agreed,' Bugme answered.
'2/3?' Harm asked.
'2/3.'
'Scissors, paper, rock,' Bugme and Harm chorused.
Harm got rock and Bugme got scissors.
'Scissors, paper, rock,' Bugme and Harm said.
Harm got rock and Bugme got paper.
The atmosphere was tense as the men chanted the song again. Beads of
sweat show on Bugme's face. Mac looks from Harm to Bugme and back again,
biting her lower lip. Harriet and Chloe look both apprehensive and worried
and the viewers at home keep their eyes wide and glued to the screen.
Harm got paper and Bugme got rock.
Mac, Harriet and Chloe cheer.
'You haven't won yet!' Bugme cries. He gets a crazed look in his eyes
and went and took Mac on his shoulder and made off with her.
Mac bit him on the hand and kicked him in the..........
'OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!' Bugme cried, dropping Mac (who lands on her feet
perfectly) and rocking back and forth clutching his injured manhood.
The police raced in. 'You are under arrest for impersonating an Australian
to get into JAG.'
'You mean he's not Australian?' Harm, Mac, Harriet and Chloe chorused.
'Umm, didn't we just say that?' the police asked.
'Then what is he?' Harm asked.
'A New Zealander.'
'I knew there was something with that accent,' Harriet said thoughtfully.
'Who will want me now?' Bugme sobbed.
Jordan, looking like a crazed woman, comes in, followed by the Teletubbies.
'I want you! I'll have you! And we can watch the Teletubbies!'
Bugme screamed. 'NO! PLEASE ANYTHING BUT THAT!'
'Come along,' the police sighed.
The policemen drag Bugme off and Jordan follows. The police wave goodbye
and the remaining JAG officers wave back.
Back at the little camp that had been set up for the JAG officers, the
Admiral
suggested they have a sing song.
The member of the JAG core raised their eyebrows.
‘Commander Rabb may begin,’ the Admiral smiled, sitting down.
Harm smiled slightly and picked up his guitar.
"I've been meaning to tell you
I've got this feelin' that won't subside
I look at you and I fantasize
Darlin' tonight
Now I've got you in my sights
With these hungry eyes
One look at you and I can't disguise
I've got hungry eyes
I feel the magic between you and I
I want to hold you so hear me out
I want to show you what love's all about
Darlin' tonight
Now I've got you in my sights
With these hungry eyes
One look at you and I can't disguise
I've got hungry eyes
I feel the magic between you and I
Now I've got you in my sights
With these hungry eyes
Now did I take you by surprise
I need you to see
This love was meant to be"
‘Very nice Commander,’ the Admiral smiled as Harm finished.
Mac was blushing.
‘Your turn now Major,’ the Admiral told her.
"I'm not always strong
And sometimes I'm even wrong
But I win when I choose
And I can't stand to lose
But I can't always be
The rock that you see
When the nights get too long
And I just can't go on
The woman in me
Needs you to be
The man in my arms
To hold tenderly
'Cause I'm a woman in love
And it's you I run to
yeah the woman in me
Needs the man in you
When the world wants too much
And it feels cold and out of touch
It's a beautiful place
When you kiss my face
The woman in me
Needs you to be
The man in my arms
To hold tenderly
'Cause i'm a woman in love
And it's you i run to
yeah the woman in me
Needs the man in you
Yeah the woman in me
Needs the man in you
I need you baby
Yeah yeah
Oh baby...
Harm was smiling as Mac finished the song.
‘Very good Major. Lt Roberts?’
Bud (the stud:) looked uncomfortable as he sang.
‘Well, a very nice sing song we’ve had so far,’ the Admiral smiled. He thanked God that he wasn't present when Bud sang karaoke the first time.
2 WEEKS LATER
Harm and Mac entered the pub with Bud and Harriet following them.
‘Is that the Corrs?’ Harriet asked, pointing to the group on the stage.
‘That's them,’ Mac smiled.
'Wow,' Bud smiled.
'Let's dance,' Harm smiled, as Caroline Corr counted in the song.
"Opened my eyes today
And I knew there wass something different
Saw you in a brand new way
Like the clouds had somehow lifted
And if yesterday I heard
Myself saying these words
I would swear it was a lie
I don't know why but suddenly I'm falling
Was I so blind
I was loving you all the time
Now I'm hopelessly addicted
Helplessly attracted
I'll make a wish this day
And I'll send it to the heavens
That we will always stay
Entwined like this forever
And though the world may change
Coz nothing stays the same I know we will survive
I don't know why but suddenly I'm falling
Was I so blind
I was loving you all the time
Now I'm hopelessly addicted
Helplessly attracted
Naturally we acted
Hopelessly addicted
Helplessly attrackted
Chemically reacted
Naturally we acted"
'I love you Harm,' Mac whispered.
Harm kissed her. 'I love you too Sarah.'
So, the world was conquered, Brumby is gone and Jordache is with her new friends the teletubbies learning all about Tubby love.
As we fade out from Harm and Mac dancing as the Corrs play,
If you're
reading down here you better be over 18! Otherwise you'll get run over
by a truck! heh.
'So CSM, you never did explain to me what the shipperhm list was,' Alex
asked the smoking man.
CSM smiled evilly and handed a story over.