Words of Use for your Everyday Life

All of us, here at this place, where ever it may being, have come to the conclusion that you need advice. Because Your life is dull and boring and you go to an endless dead end job, where you'll never make any real money becuase you get back charged on all the crap you screw up because you wern't informed on the "correct" way to hang those damn screens...And your boss is an old long haired mad man bent on destroying all possible ways of raking the friut of your loins. And besides, what would you do with EXTRA money each month?

Anyway...

We each have compiled things we found in life that we think you should know. Some of these things are advice on what to do in certain sitiuations. Other things are neato loopholes we found in "the system." And lastly, some of these things are outright complaints that we think will serve you well.

Let The madness Begin!

Catsup should NEVER EVER be green in color.

Clam Juice, canned fish, and artichoke hearts are a must for every kitchen.

Swamp monsters are supseptable to pepper.

The world is my urinal.

What if C-A-T spells dog?

How much wood does a woodchuck acually chuck?

Why do my pants always end up backwards? I hate that!

Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?

Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 and hot dog buns come in packages of 8?

Oh Darn I gotta rip one. ~ Jear Bear

Soak your pants and go for it.

Nothing is Extreme, unless your naked.

You have to have a licence to drive, and you have to be able to drive to get your licence.

The world is fake, so keep it real.

A man eats strawberry short cake for dessert, and spends a good deal of time breaking wind? Why are his pants blue?

When doing hand stand push ups, wear underware.

Chess requires concius thought. Sorry Meddy.

"I'm wearing a coconut bra, we're not going anywhere."

Gasoline Monkeys - 'Cause somtimes you mess yourself.

Gasoline Monkeys - We ain't outta style, you is.

What do you call a basment full of blonds? A wine cellar.

Whenever bored, wander about for food.

Never ignore that unsettling urge to trip an old person.

Happiness is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.

Why don't you ever see the headline: "PSYCHIC WINS LOTTERY"?

~Thats all for now, but check back often, as this page is updated almost every day. Or something.~

Copyright 2001 Gasoline Monkeys

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