Nicole DeMeo Stream of Conscience 12/13/01

What happened to me that was very important that I could write a stream of conscience essay about? This is a very difficult topic I do have to admit. Ok, I got one….Last year when I was in Ms. Reinharts’ Clothing and Textiles class, she said that we would have to make something that could go in our bedroom at home. So I was thinking and the easiest thing I could think of making was a pillow. For some reason, I wanted it to be really special. And I remembered hearing about how you can scan pictures onto fabric. So my little mind was working and I decided to do that. However, it wouldn’t be for me, it would be for my brother, as like, a good-bye present. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to make this during Ms. Reinharts’ class, but I still wanted to make it because I thought my brother would love. So for the last few weeks of summer I was very busy at work with my pillow for my brother. My brother was leaving and I was going to miss him very much. For some reason, I knew that the worst was yet to come. When we were in his room saying our good-bye’s, I started to tear up. All of a sudden, I was like, " o sh*t! I forgot the pillow in the car!" I didn’t really want to go get it but I knew I had to because I worked to hard on it and for me then to not give it to him, that would have been a waste of my time. So I went downstairs and got it out of the car and felt like an idiot because I was crying a little bit. When I handed him the pillow I started bawling. The tears would not stop coming. And it didn’t even end there. We still had to officially say good-bye. I just handed him a stupid little pillow that I made of all pictures of us when we were kids and that’s it. I had written him a card to go with it that was like 2 pages long and I wrote it the night before and I was almost crying when I wrote it. However, at the same time I was really happy. Through out this whole time, I was really happy. I knew that he was going to be fine and I was going to be fine and everything would be great. He was going to get a good education in the field of business and become a great manager and that would be terrific. I was happy for him. Anyway, when I gave him the pillow I kind of saw his eyes tear up a little but too. I knew he loved it right then and there and that brought a smile to my face, even with all the tears. So we went downstairs and said good-bye and he was crying, I was bawling and my mom was bawling and my dad was being very calm about it, like usual. The funny thing is, is that when we were in the car, I was still crying, I cried for 45 minutes straight. And then I finally stopped because I feel asleep. I can now finally say that I once cried myself to sleep. Not that I’m proud of it or anything, but I can still say it. I cried for longer and harder than my mom did, which I thought was pretty strange. I knew I would cry a lot and I did, but I thought my mom would be worse than I was. Anyway, when I went back up to visit him, I saw the pillow on his bed next to the teddy bear that his girlfriend gave him. I was really happy to see that he did like and it showed. I’m sure all his friends were wondering who the hot girl was that was with him in all the pictures. I’m only kidding. I hope that he takes care of my pillow. I think that he will, I know he will.