The Mummy Karaoke Lounge

 

A/N: Alrighty, I got this idea from Say What?Karaoke, just so people know, and I really thought it would be cute to do this, so read, please. Oh, and let's just pretend for a second that all of the characters have amazing singing voices (except maybe Imhotep. Generally having a deep, gravelly, 'death is only the beginning' voice impaires singing skills), but this should be rather amusing, anyway. Don't flame me for being a little out of character with Ardeth (a little?), but it is just supposed to be funny. Please read.

 

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the songs, I don't own the Mummy. Don't sue me. I also don't own Say What?Karaoke

 

 

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Camera pans into Hamunaptra, under a big, blue sky, and a bright, sunny day. Rick walks onto a little stone stage in Hamunaptra in front of a crowd of mummies and humans, mostly girls (don't know about them mummies except if they had hair) sighing and gazing on him adoringly. When Rick waves and flashes that dazzling smile, cheers erupt and several body guards keep back the girls as they try to storm the stage.

 

 

Rick: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the City of the Dead! This is the Karaoke Lounge, and what a beautiful day for some music, eh?

 

(more cheers erupt)

 

Rick: Thank you, thank you. (flashes another dazzling smile) I think that I'll just start off with a personal favorite.

 

Rick signals to the effets guys in the headphones and black tee shirts, and they start music. After a couple of beats, Rick begins to sing. (remember folks, he has a great voice... author sniggers evilly)

 

Rick, singing to Evy, who is sitting on a stool in front of him smiling sweetly:

 

My life will never be the same

 

'Cause girl, you came and changed

 

The way I walk

 

The way I talk

 

I cannot explain the things I feel for you

 

But girl, you know it's true

 

Stay with me, fulfill my dreams

 

And I'll be all you'll need

 

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ooh...

 

Suddenly the camera pans onto Imhotep and Anck-su-Namun, the music having changed, and they begin singing (in Ancient Egyptian of course. little captions roll across the bottom of the screen, with a little bouncing ball so people can sing along), as they are staring dreamily into eachother's eyes...

 

Anck-su-Namun:

 

I've met so many men and it's like they're all the same

 

My appetite for lovin' is now my hunger pain

 

And when I'm feelin' sexy, who's gonna comfort me?

 

My only problem is their insecurities!

 

Imhotep:You tired o' bein' alone?

 

Anck-su-Namun:Yeah, yeah...

 

Imhotep: Been talkin on da phone?

 

Anck-su-Namun: Yeah, Yeah...

 

Suddenly the music changes (again!) to a really upbeat rhythm. Camera pans to a group of Med-Jai, led by Ardeth, who is wearing sunglasses, much to the surprise of everyone around him. He is wearing a dark cloak over his head and entire body. So are the other warriors behind him. He smirks, and then throws off the robe, revealing bare-chested, undeniably sexy, native american outfit complete with headdress. Warriors behind him follow the example, and are all wearing different 'Village People' outfits. Ardeth grabs mic, and begins to sing:

 

It's fun to stay at the YMCA!

 

YMCA!

 

They start dancing around, and then the music dies away. Ardeth walks up to Rick, takes him by the collar and says, not very discreetly "You owe me, O'Connell!" Rick is just rolling on the floor, laughing, hands him some money, Ardeth takes it, walking away, grumbling.

 

Evy starts to dance to a rhythm, after the music of Ardeth's little outburst dies away, and then takes the mic that Ardeth passes to her (still grumbling), and sings, singing to Rick seductively, while he looks on, gaping:

 

Among the many muted faces You try to find me in the spaces You're drawn to my song (oh) You only move to Keep from sinking You close your eyes As if you're thinking Afraid all along That in my eyes You're revealing You'll find out What you're needing Nothing but pennies In my pocket Nothing but faith To keep me warm Tell me how much for your love?

 

Evy stops singing as the music changes, and little Alex walks on stage, holding a mic, dressed like a thug. He flashes a grin, and the younger girls scream, and storm the stage. Evy looks on, mouth agape, staring at her little boy's corn-row, bandana, sagging appearance, speechless. Alex grins at her evilly, and then starts to sing:

 

They call me Romeo, soldier boy

 

Coma te llamo, ya heard

 

Throw em up, lets do this

 

Throw em up, throw em up, throw em up

 

The girls start to sing along.

 

All the Girlies, the Girlies that love me

 

Cause I'm the one that say my name

 

Evy presses through the crowd, toward her son, takes the mic and says, "Alright, that's enough! Next song, effects guys!" She signals to the dudes in the headphones and black tee shirts, who press a button, and then a new beat starts.

 

Imhotep walks on, with sunglasses and a backwards cap. Everyone gapes at him. He gives a little shrug like "what?" and then begins to rap while Anck-su-Namun shakes her butt to his rhythm:

 

I like big butts and I cannot lie!

 

All you other brothas can't deny

 

When a girl walks in wit an itty bitty waist

 

And a round thing in yo' face you get sprung!

 

Suddenly, Evy and Rick, now dressed in new, tight black leather outfits, Rick with a little greasy hair style, and Evy with her hair dyed blonde, even more curly than usual, break in singing:

 

A wop bobaloop bop a wop bam boom!

 

The hip, well... the 50's beat breaks through the rap, and everyone starts shakin' it. (all coreographed perfectly, of course) All:

 

We go together like rama lamalama kadinga ding dingy dong

 

Remembered forever as shoo bop sha wada lada yippity boom de boom

 

Chang chang changity chang shi bop! We'll always be like one! Waa waa waa waa!

 

We're on of a kind like dipdadipdadip doowop a dooby doo

 

Our names are signed a boogity boogity boogity boogity shooby doowop shoo bop

 

Chang chang, changity chang shi bop! We'll always be together! Waa-ooh, Yeah!

 

When we go out at night Med Jai (still dressed in 'Village People' costumes): Ah ah!

 

All:And the stars are shining bright

 

Med Jai: Oh oh!

 

All: Up in the skies abo-ove!

 

Or at the highschool dance! Where you can find romance

 

Maybe it might be love!

 

All: We'll always be together! We'll always be together! We'll always be together...

 

Music finally dies away. Everyone bows, grinning, and Imhotep tosses his cap into the crowd. A bunch of squealing mummy-girls tackle eachother for it. One stands up, and shouts in delight "I got it!" Little captions to translate the Ancinet Egyptian words fly across the bottom of the screen. Ardeth takes out scimitar, swings it, the blade flashing. The males in the crowd hoot like apes. "Yeah!" "Cool! Big sword!"

 

Suddenly, the crowd tries, successfully, to storm the stage. All of the characters escape, barely, and run away.

 

"Hurry!" Evy cried. "They're gaining on us!" The characters all ran to the door, and crawl inside, shutting the door behind them. Now that they were in the tomb, lit by ancient mirrors, Rick spoke up.

 

"What do we do now?"

 

Ardeth cried out, "I say: Kill the Creature!" The warriors all drew their swords. Their battle crys, and the squeals of Imhotep and Anck-su-Namun as they ran reverberated off of the walls. Evy turned to Rick, beckoning him with a finger, and they began smooching away. Alex groaned, and then realized something.

 

"Where's Uncle John?" he asked. Evy murmured, giggling partly at Rick, who was whispering something in her ear.

 

"I don't know, Alex, I thought he was with you..." her attention turned to her husband again. "Rick! What about Alex..."

 

"Help! Help me! For God's sake, help me!!!!!!!!!!!!" came the muffled cries of distress from Jonathan from the other side of the door. Alex let him in, and then they slammed the door together, holding it against the fans. A big stone door was heavy, and so the two leaned against the wall, beads of sweat forming on Jonathan's forehead.

 

"Never get caught in a crowd of rabid fans, my boy..." he muttered. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'll understand if you flame. But I hope no one hates it too much...