Title: Rick O'Connell and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

  Authors: Sarah ([email protected]) and Alex ([email protected])

  Rating: PG-13

  Category: Romance/humour

  Status: Complete

  Spoilers: None

  Summary: Exactly what the title says. Rick's having a bad day. Can Evelyn make it better?

  Disclaimer: Once upon a time, there was this bloke called Steven Sommers. He made this really awesome movie called The Mummy, but unfortunately, he also owns all of the characters relating to said movie. He said, "if you steal these characters for your own purposes, I shall sue you." The fans knew that this was bad, but they did it anyway. And so we got fanfiction. The End.

 

*********************************************************************

 

  Evie rolled over onto her side. She could hear the chirping of early morning birds outside and it only served to agravate her already aching head. She felt so groggy and when she heard the alarm go off, she just pushed her face into the pillow.

 

  Rick woke up when he heard the alarm go off, but didn't move to turn it off. Evie usually did that. After a while though, he began to wonder why she hadn't moved yet. He sat up in bed and hit the alarm, shutting off the irritating ringing noise. He gently nudged his wife's shoulder. "Evie? Evie, honey, it's time to get up," he said softly.

 

  She only buried her face further into the pillow. She usually hopped right out of bed, but today, she felt as though she were drowning inside her head. She waved him off, not really wanting to deal with anything right now.

 

  Rick frowned in concern. This wasn't like her at all, she was always up before he was. "Are you okay?" he asked, gently roling her onto her back. He pressed the back of his hand to her forehead and gasped when he felt how hot she was. "Oh my God, you're burning up!" he cried.

 

  She kept her eyes tightly shut for a moment and then urged herself to sit up and face the day. She had things to do and people to see. "I'm fine," she replied shakily.

 

  "No, you are not," he said, easing her back down and knowing how stubborn she could be. "You shouldn't be up and about if you're feeling ill. Here, lie back down and I'll call the doctor."

 

  "Rick, I'm not ill. I never get sick," she protested and then coughed weakly. "It's only a cold, no big deal. Besides, I have to be at work today, I have a meeting with the curator. He's already angry with me because he doesn't like having a woman around, so I have to be on my best behaviour."

 

  "Don't worry about that now," he said, pulling the sheets around her and tucking her in. "I'm going to call the doctor and then the museum to tell them that you won't be in today because you're sick. *No* work and *no* arguments, alright?"

 

  "But, Rick..." She tried to sit up again, but it only set off another fit of coughing so she lay back down and closed her eyes. Just when her head seemed to have stopped spinning, she heard the cries of their baby. She moaned, knowing she would have to attend him.

 

  "Settle down, honey, I'll see to him," he told her, kissing her forehead. "I'll see to Alex and then I'll make the phonecalls, okay?" He raised a hand, stopping her protests before they could start. "Besides, you shouldn't be around Alex now, he might catch your illness. Let me take care of things while you relax."

 

  She settled down, feeling reassured and she couldn't help but smirk. "You plan on breast feeding?" she asked wryly. "Now that is something I have to watch."

 

  "I'll see what I can do," he said teasingly, snorting with laughter. "You just stay here now, okay? I promise I won't be long." 

 

  He walked out of their bedroom and shut the door behind him before making his way down the hall and to the baby's room. "Hey there, Alex," he said gently and the baby quietened down at the sight of him. He lifted his son out of the crib and held him close to his bare chest. "Now I know I'm not mommy, but let's see what we can do," he said, as he carried him downstairs, talking to him soothingly in an attempt to calm him down.

 

  Well, that was okay, but Daddy just wasn't going to cut it. He didn't have those wonderful round bosoms like Mummy did and Alex figured somewhere inside his baby mind that he had been cheated. He moved his lips nearer to his father's chest, pushing his little fists against him. Not even a drop of milk came out...yes, he was definitely cheated.

 

  Rick smiled as his son nuzzled fruitlessly at his chest. "Sorry little guy," he said as they entered the kitchen. "Guess you'll have to hang on a little while longer." He mananged to keep hold of Alex with one arm while heating up some of the breast milk that Evie had stored earlier at the same time. When it was ready, he sat down in a nearby chair and offered the bottle to his child, who promptly refused to take it. "Come on now, Alex," he said coaxingly.

 

  What on earth was this? A bottle?! Alex just screamed out loud at that offer and banged his soft little head against his father. What was his father thinking and what had he done with his mother?! He pushed the bottle away, sobbing hard.

 

  Rick sighed and placed the bottle on the table, gently rocking Alex and trying to quieten his wails. The screaming stopped for a moment and Alex began nuzzling again. He was just about to try him with the bottle once more when he yelped in pain and surprise. His son had just bitten his nipple.

 

  CHOMP! Good for nothing teeth! Alex started screaming again, louder this time. He wanted milk, but none came out of this guy and he was desperate now for his mother.

 

  Rick felt like screaming himself. Alex refused to let go of his nipple and he gasped out in pain and he tried to think of a way to calm him down. "Sssh now, Alex, everything will be okay," he said soothingly, but he got the feeling he wasn't quite pulling this off. Then, an idea came to him. Whenever Evie sang to him, it always seemed to settle Alex, so maybe that would do the trick. He started humming softly...

 

*******

 

  Evie could hear the screaming of their child all the way upstairs and then she heard her husband joining in. Either they were working on being a choir and needed serious help, or they just needed her. Her head hurt, but she climbed out of bed anyway, grabbing her robe and pulling it on over her chilled body. She walked downstairs, swaying as she did so and went into the kitchen. "What's the matter?" she asked.

 

  "Just-ah! Breast feeding," Rick joked, clenching his teeth. God, his nipple hurt and so did his head. How his son managed to latch on *and* scream at the same time was beyond him, but Alex seemed to be pulling it off. "Go back to bed, Evie, everything's fine."

 

  She shook her head, smiling as she walked over to them, taking Alex from her husband and pressing her lips to his forehead.

 

  Now this was more like it. MUMMY! Alex lowered his wails and clung to his mother like she would dissapear at any moment if he let her go.

 

  Evie rocked him gently and leaned back against the wall. Looking over at Rick, she saw the bite marks on his chest. "I wsan't serious about you trying to breast feed him you know," she said, slowly unfastening the buttons of her chemise and offering her breast swollen with milk to her hungry baby boy.

 

  Rick couldn't help but sigh with relief and he slumped his head on the table. Finally, some quiet. "I know, I know," he said, his voice muffled. "But our son is very, very stubborn. Takes after someone I know," he added pointedly. He lifted his head in order to glance up at her. "After this, you both go to bed. I still haven't made those phone calls yet."

 

  She nodded and looked down at Alex, his little hands holding onto her breast as he suckled. His sleepy eyes made her smile despite how bad she felt. "Oh, Rick, we have such a beautiful baby," she said and walked over to him, making sure Alex was snuggled against her bosom.

 

  "A very *loud* beautiful baby," he teased, snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her close to him. He let himself relax for a moment and rested his head on her chest, sighing deeply. "Hey!" he cried as his son swiped him on the nose. "What was *that* for?!"

 

  HEY?! Those are *mine*, mister, Alex thought. You are not allowed to share them.

 

  Evie smiled, reaching a hand around her husband's neck to gently rub his nose. "I guess our son doesn't want you playing with those. Sure won't make things fun in the bedroom now, will it?" She yawned and then turned her head to the side to cough.

 

  "Not only do I get you beating me up, looks like Alex wants in on it too," he replied mournfully and then he frowned when his wife began to cough again. "Honey, go back to bed," he said, standing up. Fortunately, Alex's movements had settled into sleep and he gently took him from her arms. He ushered her back upstairs, reaching a hand out to steady her when she swayed a little.

 

  Evie lay back down in bed, letting hre husband pull the covers around her. She was shivering at this point and she buried into the blankets, trying to warm hreself up again. She didn't even bother buttoning up the chemise again and she was already starting to doze. "I love you, Rick," she murmured.

 

  "I love you too, sweetheart," he said softly as he finished tucking her in. This really worried him.  She must really be feeling ill if she was being this complacent. He leaned down to kiss her forehead and then went off to put his son to bed. Just as he was laying him down in his crib, Alex stirred and whimpered a little. Rick ever so gently stroked his head, shushing him and Alex continued sleeping. Rick breathed a sigh of relief and he walked back out of the room, leaving the door open so that he would hear if Alex woke up.

 

  With that done, he made his way back downstairs and sat at the foot of the stairs where the telephone was situated. He leafed through the phone book and when he found Doctor Trevor's number, he dialled and waited for someone to answer.

 

  It took a while for the doctor to answer the phone as he had been swamped with patients all morning. "Hello, this is Doctor Trevor," he said.

 

  "Hello Doctor, this is Richard O'Connell and I really need you to come out on a home visit, if you would. My wife Evelyn came down with sickness this morning and I'm really worried about her. She's running a fever and she says she has a bad headache."

 

  "I'm afraid I can't make any house calls yet as I have been somewhat busy today," the doctor replied. "I have at least another twenty more patients to see before the hour is out. It sounds as if your wife is a victim of a recent outbreak of flu, so just keep her in bed and make sure she drinks lots of fluids."

 

  "But Doctor, she really does seem sick which is worrying in itself seeing as she never gets ill," Rick protested. He knew he had a tendancy to worry too much when it came to his wife, but dammit, he *was* worried. He wasn't used to seeing her like this and it frightened him a little.

 

  "Hot tea or soup will help her," Doctor Trevor assured him. "Use a cool cloth for her fever and if it doesn't break before night falls, I shall come out on a house visit then, alright?"

 

  Rick sighed deeply. Maybe he had been overreacting. "Yes, thank you," he said. "If she's still bad tonight, I'll give you anothre call, but I think she should be okay. Thank you for your time, Doctor."

 

  "You're very welcome, Richard. You take good care of Evelyn now," the doctor told him and then hung up.

 

  Rick placed the receiver back on its cradle. Well that was one down, one to go. He picked the phone book up once more, searching for the number of the museum. After just a couple of rings, someone picked up. "Hello, this is Mr Richard O'Connell calling on behalf of Evelyn O'Connell. I'd like to speak to the curator Mr Haffez please."

 

  "This is Mr Haffez. Mr O'Connell, your wife was expected here over an hour ago," the curator replied in a not too nice tone of voice. "She has a meeeting shortly with a treasure-finder to pick out artifacts for the museum. I strongly hope you are calling to tell me that she is on her way."

 

  Rick tried to keep his voice polite even though he personally didn't like the way the guy was speaking to him. "No sir, I am calling to inform you that my wife can't make it to work today. I apologise for the inconvenience, but she is very ill right now and has been told to stay away from work for the time being. Doctor's orders," he added firmly.

 

  "Well I am above the doctor and I demand that you have her here in time for this meeting," Mr Haffez snapped. "This will not look kindly with the Bembridge scholars your wife so dearly wishes to impress."

 

  "I'm truly sorry, but I'm afraid that isn't possible," said Rick tightly. "I understand that this meeting is important and I know that you and the Bembridge scholars know that my wife wants to be there very much, but the bottom line is that she's sick. There is no way she's going out in this condition, I'm sorry."

 

  Mr Haffez was fuming now. This would make his reputation look considerably worse than Mrs O'Connell's, but he wasn't going to let her husband know that. "She will be here even if I have to come to your house and drag her out of bed to be there."

 

  Rick finally lost his temper at that. Screw being polite, this guy wsa downright rude and there was no way he would have anyone speak about his wife in that manner. "I don't think so, Mr Haffez," he replied coolly. "I don't care about what you or the damn Bembridge scholars think. You can't make my sick wife go to work, I'm afraid. I won't let you."

 

  "Well then, let's see if your pretty little wife ever gets into the Bembridge scholars," the curator shouted and then slammed the phone down.

 

  Rick hung his head in his hands. Boy, he had screwed that one up. Him and his damned temper, now he was the one with the headache. Well, his job was done. In a fashion. He got up, sighing and walked into the kitchen to make tea for himself and Evie. When it was ready, he got together a tray and carried it up to their bedroom, placing the tray on a nearby table and flopping down onto the bed, groaning. "Well, I called," he said.

 

  She looked up at him, moving just enough so that her head rested in his comfortable lap. It felt nice to lay on his legs and feel the warmth of his body against hers. "Thank you, darling," she said softly, still burning up with fever.

 

  "Uh, maybe you shouldn't be thanking me *just* yet, I think I got you fired," he said, stroking her hair. "The curator yelled at me when I told him you wouldn't be coming in today. I also called the doctor and he told me to give you plenty of liquids so-" he reached for one of the mugs and held it out to her. "I made you some tea," he told her, giving her his most winning smile, despite the fact that his head felt like it would explode.

 

  She let him help her sit up so that she could sip at her tea and she smiled at him. "I'm sure they won't fire me, I work harder than the curator does," she said. After drinking most of the tea, she set down the mug and nuzzled her face back in his lap.

 

  He stroked her hair soothingly and took a few sips of his own drink before placing his mug on the beside table next to hers. He leaned his head back and sighed a little and then started to cough.

 

  She looked up at him worriedly, sitting up to place her palms to his cheeks and forehead. His blue eyes mirrored the same exhausted look in hers. "I made you sick," she declared tiredly. "No more sleeping with me when I come down with a cold."

 

  "I'm not sick," he said defensively, letting his eyes fall shut. "I'm just feeling completely wiped out is all. I guess you could say I've had a long day."

 

  She sat in his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling the covers up around them. She pushed her burning forehead against his throat and coughed herself.

 

  "You know, this should be funny," he told her, holding her close. "Or at least it would be if only I wasn't feeling so damned miserable."

 

  "I'm so hot, Rick," she murmured. His hot flesh against hers was doing no good whatsoever for her fever. "How about a cool bath while our son sleeps?"

 

  "Sounds like a good iead," he sighed. "Anything to cool down right now."

 

  She didn't move off of him, however. "You get up first," she said, hre voice hinting at how exhausted she felt.

 

  He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to clear his aching head and he tighted his hold on her before getting to his feet unsteadily. He held her in his arms easily enough, but he swayed slightly. "Wrap your legs around me," he told her.

 

  She did so, letting him carry her into the bathroom. She knew the water from the hot bath they had shared last night would be somewhat cooler now. She was thankful that they had been too intent on getting to the bed to make love to remember to empty it.

 

  Rick smiled at the sight of the still-full bathtub. "Hmm, why on *earth* could we have forgotten to let the water out last night?" he teased, letting her slide down his body to stand on her feet. He undid his pants and let them fall to the floor.

 

  She coughed and let her nightdress slip off, leaving her naked before him. "I think you were impatient and wanted to bed me," she told him, not wanting to take the blame for their actions last night.

 

  "*I* was imaptient, huh?" he laughed, easing her into the tub and getting in after her. He arranged them so that he lay against the back of the tub with her between his legs, her back to his chest. He sighed as he felt the cool water lap at his skin. "Now correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you the one who said something along the lines of, 'Oh God, Rick, get me out of this bloody bath and make love to me'?"

 

  She blushed a little and let her hands stroke gently along his thighs. "No, darling, you were going to penetrate me right here in the bathtub if I had let you have your way," she said.

 

  "And what was so wrong with that?" he asked defensively, enjoying the light banter between them. His hands moved to rest on her stomach, stroking the soft skin there.

 

  "Well, we wouldn't have had much room in here," she replied. "And besides, due to our good Catholic beliefs, well, *my* good Catholic beliefs, we're not really supposed to have sex in any other position than the missionary style."

 

  "Then why is it you enjoy being on top so much?" he asked, nuzzling the side of her neck. "You know how much you love bossing me about, honey. I also know how aggressive you can get, I have the scars to prove it!"

 

  "I am most certainly not aggressive," she said, pretending to be angry with him. "I won't ever sleep with you again if you say that, Rick O'Connell."

 

  "I'm afraid you're blushing," he laughed. "If you check out my back, you'd notice the scrath marks there, courtesy of your very own fingernails. And on the side of my neck you would see a nice little love bite which is turning into an attractive shade of purple. You can't deny the evidence, Evie."

 

  The mix of their humourous banter and the cool water against her heated skin were soothing her sickness somewhat. "Mr O'Connell, you are nothing but rude. If indeed you do have those marks, surely you don't think they came from me," she said.

 

  "Well I guess they must have come from the *other* Evie I married," he teased. "Your evil twin who makes occaisional appearances to make mad, passionate love to me and who talks very, very dirty with me."

 

  She had the beginnings of a grin on her lips, but she held back, not wanting him to win this round. She began running her hands gently up and down his legs. "You've been cheating on me?" she gasped.

 

  "You haven't noticed?" he said, playing along with her. He placed his hands on her breasts, teasing the nipples into stiff peaks. "I have my gentle and loving wife around me during the day, but at night, my little sex kitten Evie comes out to play."

 

  "Hey, hey!" she said, looking down at his hands. "Who gave you premission to play with those?" she asked quickly of him, although it did feel really good, even when her milk started leaking a little when he squeezed too hard.

 

  "Hmm, no-one," he murmured, reaching for a nearby washcloth to gently wipe over her breasts. "I just thought I'd take some liberties, you know." He leaned his head back against the wall and sighed, letting his eyes slip shut.

 

  She leaned herself back with him and cradled her head close to his.  She coughed a bit, but kept calm letting him touch her breasts and enjoying the feeling of him. "Do you need to be comforted, darling? I bet you would so enjoy nursing from me wouldn't you?"

 

  "Oh yeah," he said, smiling, still playing with her breasts. "It seems I need you to take care of me all the time." He gently nuzzled her hair, his eyes still closed. He was feeling a little better thanks to the cool bath they were sharing, but his head still hurt.

 

  She rolled over right then. She held her arms out to him and pulled him close, offering her breast to him.  Sure, they were still swollen with milk, but she wouldn't mind so badly his nursing from her. She was certainly tired of Alex's lips on her. "Come on then."

 

  "Huh?" he asked, eyes fluttering open in confusion. He hadn't thought she had been serious about the whole nursing thing, but the way that she was arranging herself to sit in his lap  told him she was. He smiled, suddenly feeling a whole lot better as he wound his arms around her, holding her close and resting his head on her chest for a moment. He closed his eyes again, nuzzling her offered breast with his lips, pressing small kisses to it before beginning to suckle her very gently.

 

  He was much more gentle then Alex was and she sighed softly as she felt him draw the warm milk from her. Oh, his suckling was wonderful. It was as though he had never tasted anything better and he was savoring it. She let her hand fall to his head and stroked his hair.  

 

  He smiled as he felt her pull him closer to her and his smile widened when he mischeviously nipped at her lightly. Upon feeling her start, he drew back a little to grin up at her. "Now you know how I felt earlier," he teased, gesturing to the bite marks on his own chest, courtesy of their son. He nuzzled the base of her throat, licking at the smooth skin for a moment before moving back down to her breast to suckle her once more. God, it was incredible and he pulled her closer.

 

  She held him tightly. Oh gosh, he wasn't going to leave any for their son if he woke up screaming later. She didn't care though, she wanted her husband to keep suckling at her.  She rested her chin on the top of his head and held onto him. "I'll have to start breastfeeding you all the time," she said and gave another sigh of completion as his lips pulled the milk from her nipple.

 

  He pulled back slightly to speak to her. "Is that a promise?" he asked huskily, gazing up at her. "Because if it is, I think I could get used to this." He kissed the tip of her breast and then lightly traced his tongue over her nipple. "You taste...mmm, delicious," he sighed as he let his eyes slip shut to better enjoy suckling at her.

 

  She didn't know how much she had left in that breast and she had to save some for Alex for later, so she moved that one away from him and only quieted any complaints she might recieve by offering him her other breast. She kissed the top of his head. "You are so much more gentle than Alex is. His only goal is to drain me."

 

  His suckling stopped at the mention of  his son and he pulled away guiltily. God knows, he could have stayed there suckling at her forever, but he rested his head on her chest, sighing deeply. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I was selfish. I wasn't thinking about Alex." He squeezed her tightly to him, nuzzling his face against her.

 

  "Shhh now, I have more than enough for both of you. Unlike most restaurants, Evelyn O'Connell runs on a twenty-four hour shift," she told him. She kissed his lips gently before offering her other breast to his mouth. "There you go, darling," she said, completely coddling him and loving it.

 

  He laughed softly. "Well that's a relief," he said, smiling. "You know I love it when you baby me, Evie," he added, letting her guide his lips to her breast. He kissed her nipple, sighing in delight before beginning his suckling once more, taking the milk that she offered so generously.

 

  "I can't baby you more than this," she replied and yawned softly. It always made her slightly tired to breast feed and she still wasn't feeling her best.  She was shivering now in the cold water and she wrapped her arms around him so that she could share his body heat.  It was with great care she didn't pull her breast out of his mouth.  "I'm cold darling, can we continue this in bed?"

 

  He had been so intent upon what he was doing, he hadn't noticed how chilly the water actually was. He released her breast reluctantly and let go of her. He stepped out of the bath first, then he carefully lifted her out, wrapping her in a warm dry towel, bundling her up into his arms. He carried her into the bedroom and gently set her down on the bed. "Feel warmer now?" he asked, kissing her forehead.

 

  "Yes, much," she replied and snuggled into a comfortable position so he could take her back to his lips. "So you like this, do you?  Do you think you like it more than your son?" she asked him, remembering the screams that had taken place that afternoon. 

 

  "I love this," he assured her, starting to nuzzle her again. "Although whether I like it more than Alex, I'm not sure. He seems pretty possessive of you." He couldn't help but smile upon remembering what had taken place earlier. He sighed softly. "What would I do without you, Evie," he murmured, smiling up at her.

 

  "You certainly wouldn't get fresh milk thats for sure," she told him and rolled them over a bit so she was lying on his chest. She grazed her fingers over the small teeth marks there. Her poor baby was teething and that was partly what made him so fussy. She looked at Rick and offered a smile. "He got you pretty good didn't he?"

 

  "I guess you could say that," he smirked and then gasped when she gently touched his marks. "I just hope he doesn't decide to do this all the time. Once was painful enough." His arms tightened around her and he held her close. He couldn't help but grin. Although it definitely hadn't seemed so at the time, thinking back, it was actually pretty funny. "I don't think I could handle being his very own personal teething toy."

 

  She thought of their infant. "Poor darling. I'll do what the doctor suggested and get him another toy to chew on," she said and coughed a little. At least she wasn't sick alone. She didn't think she could handle staying in bed all day by herself.

 

  He rubbed his hands over her back soothingly as she coughed. "Want me to go make you some more tea?" he asked gently. He drew the sheets tighter around them, not wanting her to be cold. 

 

  "I would hate to make you work when you aren't feeling well either, darling, but I am so thirsty and your body doesn't offer much to the taste buds," she said and curled against him, shivering a bit.

 

  "Sorry," he replied, smiling. "I'll make you some tea. It's the least I can do." He slowly disengaged himself from her, wrapping the covers around her securely before yanking on a clean pair of boxers. "Be right back," he told her, pulling the door to and making his way down to the kitchen. He shivered a little, wishing he had put something warmer on, but soon the tea was ready and he carried the mug back upstairs, helping her sit up before holding out the hot drink for her to take.

 

 She sipped it slowly and gratefully. It felt good for her sore throat and chilled form. Once finished, she set it aside and lay back in his arms, snuggling into his lap as she liked to do, but not getting too close since he was mostly undressed.

 

  He let one hand rest on her back while the other stroked through her hair soothingly. She hadn't said much since he had returned and he knew she must be feeling drowsy. "You tired honey?" he asked, leaning his head back and closing his eyes, sighing softly.

 

  She nodded slowly and rested her head closer in his lap. She rolled over so that her head was right on top of his center and her face pressed into his belly.  

 

  He smiled at how she was laid on him. She managed to get comfortable in the in the oddest places. Not that he minded her using him as a human pillow. He kept his hand running through her hair. "Sleep well, sweetheart," he murmured.

 

  She didn't hear his words however, for she had already drifted off to sleep. Already she felt better from coming down with her illness and managing to make up for her husband's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.