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Taglines
My family puts the "fun" back in dysFUNctional.
Join the army! Travel the world, Meet interesting people, and kill them.
You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless mailed
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
You're only young once; you can be immature f'ever.
"Suicide Hotline...please hold."
All work and no play, will make you a manager.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing..
Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up.
Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
Just what part of "NO" didn't you understand...?
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Conserve energy... fart in a jar
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow
isn't looking good either.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
There are 3 kinds of people in this world...those you want things to happen, those that make things happen, and those who just wonder what the hell happened!
Me, Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
I was only looking at your name tag, honest.
Strip mining prevents forest fires.
Endless Love: Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.
KENTUCKY: Five million people, Fifteen last names.
Forget the Joneses. I can't keep up with the Simpsons.
Jesus saves sinners and redeems them for cash and valuable prizes.
For Sale: Taliban rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
The faulty interface lies between the chair and the keyboard.
Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
Dont hate me because I'm beautiful - hate me because your boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful!
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.
You can't scare me. I drive a school bus!
Life without danger is a waste of oxygen.
I've discovered that I often visit the state of confusion, and I know my way around pretty well.
Smile, everyone loves a moron.
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
Ah, yes, divorce......., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
-- Robin Williams.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I once thought I was ugly, until I saw you!
Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one!
My computer NEVER cras...DOH!.
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster!
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
How does Avon find so many women willing to take orders?
Looking for a helping hand? There's one on your arm.
My mind works like lightning... one brilliant flash and it's gone.
Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent.
Sometimes you're the bug, and sometimes you're the windshield..
Next time you wave at me, use more than one finger, please!.
I would like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
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